Random conversations that I have had with my Dad today.

Before we went to Nan and Granddad's we watched the Cricket, and Dad looked in the local paper. The News Shopper.
"ooh look at this?"
I look away from England, who look like they're collapsing and losing.
"What?"
"Someone's gonna commit a murder next year."
"Ey?"
Repeats line again. "Says so here."
I decide not to ask what drugs he's on, - none of us can pronounce it.
"What are you on about? Why would someone say they're gonna commit a murder a year before hand?"
"come and look see. We should tell the Police."
Dad drifts of into fantasy about the Sweeny and Starsky and Hutch.
I sigh and get up and read over shoulder.
"Err Dad."
"See!"
"Dad, this is the Year 2004, that date is 1995"
"Oh yeah. Don't tell anyone."

Much later, I watching Darren Gough get wickets like they're going outta fashion.
A fly is headbutting the mirror, it flies to the windowsill and hits it with such force it knocks itself out.
Me "Haha, silly bugger, that'll teach ya."
I get up and get a drink, when I return the fly is buzzing drunkenly, it flies into my hand and knocks itself out again.
Me. "Neat."
I take it into the garden, where Dad is watering the flowers, and lumbering around, looking like an old grey Frankenstein, with his hands by his side, not outstretched.
"Look Dad, It flew into my hand."
"Wow, do you know what you should do?"
I shake my head.
"Get a thin bit of string and tie it too its leg, you could keep it as a pet."
Me. "rrright."
Dad (warming to the subject.) "We could call it Marty."
"What?"
"Marty, you know, Marty McFly, like the Back to the Future guy."
Me. "I'm gonna leave it here to recover and I'm gonna go back indoors now and file for adoption."
I wish I was making these up. I think the drugs have addled his brains, IF he had any to start with