India.
Its everything, beautiful, ugly, polluted and clean, poverty-stricken and rich. As much as you hear about the dirt and poverty, its not till you get there and smell it. See the slums and people begging. The lucky people living in tents. The others sleeping where they can.
I was exhausted by it all, by the end. The constant layer of plastic and card debris lying about. The people asking for money. They assume that cos you're white, you're rich and yes, compared to them I am, but its all relative. I have 200 hundred pounds to last me till payday at the end of the month.
You start off pitying them, but by the end of it, I was so worn out by the relentless begging I just didn't care if they had stumps for arms or kiddies in their arms.
Its not even the poor people either, I was conned for "donations" several times in temples and the buggers know they have you there as you dont wish to offend!
It was tiring being a female travelling alone, as they want to take photos of you, with or without them. I'm sure I'm in several Indian mens personal Wank-Banks now. When I saw them coming down the beach I went and sat in the hut until they'd gone.
Its tiring having stop 'n' drop toilets, or even just a tile in the ground to aim for. I complained to Welshy, that it was ok for him, I had to worry about splashback or even trickle down my legs. The places that had real loos often didnt flush or leaked, the showers ranged from cold to tepid and dripped slowly out of the showerhead.
I dont know how I survived, or how anyone survives on the road, its ok to overtake on a blind corner, or drive on the wrong side of the road if you like. And its more than ok to overtake a car thats trying to overtake a lorry on a mountainside.
Families balance toddlers onto handlebars of bikes and people cling onto the sides and roofs of buses.
It was frustrating seeing starving, mangy dogs, dead puppies and knowing that if only they did a castration programme, it'd help reduce the population naturally and release the constant pressure on the bitches, but finding out that any kind of sterilisation like that is considered unholy.

But let me tell you about the good side, the beach in Gokarna, Om Beach, remote and unspoiled by pollution, the huge crashing waves that were endless fun to bodysurf along or try to remain upright in. How I rode a camel into the desert and camped overnight listening to traditional Indian tales by a fire. How the Taj Mahal is actually prettier than you imagine or have seen. How the birds come in amazing shades of vivid blues and greens. How all the trucks and rickshaws are gaily decorated in tinsel and paint, that would look tacky anywhere else. How we hunted tigers in early mornings and watched late night Bollywood films in the cinema and laughed and were moved to tears despite not understanding what was spoken. Let me tell you about riding an elephant and feeding rats at a holy temple and playing with monkeys (I fell over and down the stairs there. Apparently you really do slip on banana skins).
Let me tell you about riding the spirited and responsive Marwei horses and their amazing curvy ears over rocks and along mountain paths.
Let me tell you about delicious apple Lassi drinks and Gulab Jamin desserts and the kind people that helped reunite me and Welshy after we got seperated at Mombai airport (although the bastard did con about a thousand rupees out of me in the process).

There was so much to reccommend about the place and so much to hate, it was a complete land of contrasts, I loved it but was glad to come home to civilisation. I had an amazing time though, despite all the downsides.

Its been a bit of a messy twenty four hours.

One of my friends, Astronomer C was leaving, she's emigrating to NZ, lucky thing, to Windy Welly. (Someone else to visit next time I go..) And I promised myself faithfully that I was sticking to my twenty quid budget and leaving at 9pm whatever happened.
So perhaps it was to be expected that I was falling out of the Lord Hood (Greenwich's premier late-ish opening bar with the awesome DJ JACKIE on FRIDAY NIGHTS) at quarter to one and then running to get the last DLR. Yeah. Another proud highlight of my life was announcing to everyone about my naked photos I did for GT and having them all dive for their Iphones to find them (ha! try harder fuckwits) Oh and I stole the phone from the guy who works in the Sausage van in Greeny Park and hid it in my bra. When he called it, I got stupidly over-excited that my right tit was flashing and playing the A-Team theme and made everyone, like the 20+ of us that were in the pub put there head on my tit to listen. Including Astronomer G who is 65 if he's a day
Perhaps its a good thing that I'm now away for three weeks.
Oooh. I discovered Greenwich has a bar, Desperados. That is open till 5am, and then reopens at 9am for breakfast. My Fucking SHIT how have I gone through life without knowing this? Its amazing and I shall make a mental note to myself to remember this when I get back

Here is another mental note for myself, Remember to limit the amount of dirty caffine-based drinks I consume, Especially those of the blue variety. I didnt feel pleasant this morning.

Did I tell you guys that after another recent night on these drinks I had my first ever hangover?! At the age of 26! Yeah! Its a slippery slope from here on in I bet. Instead of 9 or 10 of those alco-poppy things a night I'll be reduced to one or two...
Anyway that night wasnt pleasant. I walked into a bus stop on my way home, woke up when Welshy headed to work about 5ish and moved my head too sudden and then I had to hold on cos I was convinced I was going to fall out of bed it was spinning that much.

Anyway I went to bed about quarter to two and woke up at three to feel a bit grotty and I still felt grotty when I went to join some of the boys from work (We've formed the N.M.M.C.A.S.C - catchy no?)
So went over to Wycombe to watch the mighty Addicks. Drinking in several bars as we went. I feel ok about that though, when I woke up to Welshy coming in, I didnt feel drunk and despite starting drinking at 10.47 THIS MORNING I still don't feel drunk, so either something went wrong or I left a long enough time inbetween to sober up.
Ha.

Wycombe is a strange place. Only half an hour away from London. out in Buckinghamshire I guess.
The ground itself is a one hour 43 minute (or so google maps tell me, it seemed like a longer walk) 5 miles away from the town.
Its at the end of an industrial estate surrounded by woodland on either side and seems to have no public transport getting you to the ground. Now I love my football, but walking for nearly four hours every other Saturday might try the limits of my endurance.
There was also a random pub with strippers in the middle of what looked to be a road full of B&B's!
I saw Red Kites though! Or at least from a distance I believe them to be. They were certainly large hawks and they looked similar to what Kites should look like.
Now here's a history lesson for you, hundreds of years ago Red kites were dead common, as common as pigeons scavenging in the cities, eating all the dead shit lying about.
In fact. Its said that Kidbrooke not far from me was originally called Kitebrook due to the amount of kites about, then Kittybrooke to Kidbrooke.
But life didn't stay sweet for the Red Kite, when sewers and shit become common in cities the kites moved to the country, where they got an undeserved reputation for killing lambs (due to their habit of eating carrion)
So it was decided that the Kite needed to be exterminated. And it was very nearly wiped out, I think in the early 1980s there was around 40 pairs left hidden away in Wales. By this time people realised that Kites didnt kill but they were under threat from egg collectors and the lies that people still believed.
But Due to the effort of the RSPB, birds were re-introduced from Europe and Volunteers guared the kites at all times and now there's possibly a 1,000 breeding pairs known, if not more.
But they're still a stupidly rare species to spot so I was dead excited to see two flying about near the ground which proved a real distraction from the dull game itself (finished 2-1 btw to Charlton.)

Well its all booked now... No turning back! On Monday I'll be heading for India. I have to take two internal flights on my own.
I'm dreading that. I am a very nervy flyer but each flight will only be about two hours long. What can go wrong in two hours?

I'm going to watch Charlton at Wycombe on Saturday, so will be here after that and then its off, off and away! Last day at work for three weeks tomorrow. Can't wait.

I'm all registered for my GCSE as well now. Bit peturbed by the invilator telling me that it took someone three goes to get that C, which shook my very fragile confidence, but I have till June to get comfortable with it.

I found out that I passed that exam by the way. It wasnt hard. and to be honest i was surrounded by idiots.
The interview was supposed to be sometime this week, but it got cancelled until next week cos of the weather. I explained about my holiday and they told me that they'd get in touch by Friday just gone.
Anyway I rang them today, only to be informed that they'd sent me an email (lies! I've not got it!) telling me that I cant be interviewed when I get back and nor where they willing to do it this week like originally planned.
Weathers not been great but its not been that bad to be honest.

So I'm really pissed about that. Seems a bit of a set-back, and they've fucked me about, but in the current climate I guess they can pick and choose what they want to do and I'm just someone else they can mess about with.

But never mind. It was only going to be a short term option. I still am hopeful that I'll get into clearing in August, although I do have fears that as the GCSE results come out a week after the Alevels I might not have anywhere left to apply too. We'll cross that bridge when it happens though!

I met the Random I'm going away with on Monday night.
She's awful. Actually thats not fair. Its just going to be a personality clash I think. E seems to think she's wonderful and I guess she knows her better than me. I can see why they get on. They're both anal about organising things and having plans and schedules. So me and Welshy (moral support) met them in Weatherspoons and listened to them tell me what I'm going to do whilst i'm away.
A lot of it is stuff that sounds fun, tigers, camel trekking. But I fear E's analness enough on trips and her friend is gonna be just as bad if not worse.
I lost interest and zoned out reading the guide book while they organised.
I shouldn't complain. Loads of people'd love to be doing something like this and i'm good at biting my tongue and letting shit roll over me. Christ knows i've spent a lot of my life doing that at home.
I got myself into this situation by being too soft to tell E that no, I didnt want her to come as well. I didnt so we'll see how it goes!
Fly out Monday!!! Wheeeeee!!!!!


Home. Things are getting interesting. My uncle thats living with my grandparents really flipped out at mum apparently. I mean really flipped, my Granddad had to hold him back or he'd have gone for her.
He just suddenly went mental when he complained that she'd not been there on Saturday, when she pointed out that it was my Dad's birthday and surely she deserved some time off from going there every day, He just started screaming that she should get over that, its been four years, she was this, that, the other. That he was the only one who cared and she stopped him whenever he tried to do things to look after them (which means trying to organise a lady to wash my Nan - which she doesnt need as she can do it herself. She may not bathe or shower but she strip washes. She's clean and never smells of sweat or dirt, so it would have been just degrading for her.)
That Mum brings them stale food (Again Mum brings them stuff every day for lunch. Its stuff with a short date on them, but always edible [fuck she eats it herself with them] as its pointless getting them long date stuff as it wouldnt get eaten and get forgotten about and then they would eat it when it was out of date and get poorly.)
That they should be in a home, they can't cope, blah, blah, blah. It really shook her up to see such hate and rage on his face and my granddad was in bits.
He wouldnt let her leave the room as he was afraid J (my uncle) would hit her and he's a big guy, taller and wider and an ex-copper so would lay her out. So she had to ring my aunt to collect her so she could get back to work.
The good thing, if you can say that about this, is from this we discovered that my really uncaring uncle I doesnt want to put them in a home, as we feared he sided with J, as they are/were quite close.
(Basically we've been ostracised by the rest of the family for daring to have a husband/father that died. He even sits behind me for football and hasnt spoken to me since the funeral, and I have made the effort.)
So we thought he might side with them as he doesnt go to visit, and well doesn't want to know I guess.
My aunt G works for Social Services and even she points out that they might be fucked in the head but not too such an extent that they need to go in a home.
My Uncle M has said honestly (and although I'm angry at this, I suppose you have to admire his honesty) He doesnt want to see them in a home, that he stays away as he cant face what his parents have become, but he knows they dont need a home and he is happy with power of attorny and making sure that they're secure money-wise.
Mother has care of Nan's finances, in a joint account to stop her spending anything or anyone ripping her off and has always been very open with him about it.
(Which was another reason for abuse "You've had a new car and a kitchen extension in the last three years! Don't think I dont know where that money is coming from!)
Yeah so Dad's meagre pension and her savings dont cover that? Pah.

I really think there's something wrong with J, I think he is suffering from some kinda mental illness. Bipolar or something. I dont know. But he's the worst person to be there with them. He has no job anymore, Apparently he took a swing at someone he worked with.
I remember my uncle as being very placid. He was a copper and once walked into the middle of a gang stareout, talked to them and with in 40 minutes had got them to put away their guns and walk home.
This crazed quick to snap and lash out person is not the uncle I knew, not the brother my Mother knows.
I worry about her going there now, but she worries about Nan and Granddads safety more. What happens if he snaps with them?
It'd be good on the one hand as it'd be the final straw needed to break the camels back and get him out.
But it'd not be good for them. At all.

GAAAHHH



This India trip is starting to do my head in. In fact i'm starting to dread it. Its bad enough that we'll be spending the first week in an admittedly pretty but desolate part of India, where there seems to be nothing to do but yoga (stopping my plans to dive)
But then E who is flying in to join me for the next two weeks asked me "My manager at work, was gonna go with her bf, but they broke up, can I ask her to come too?"
Well I couldnt be a bitch so had to say yes, although I dont think i've ever met her.
Anyway, she's been pretty elusive when I've been asking her to meet me to arrange plans and now she's hit me with the fact that her and her mate have pretty much organised an iteniery to do in the two weeks.

Without consulting me.

So yeah, now I feel like i'm going to be tagging along in THEIR holiday, and I hate the people she works with, they're all very clique-y and I fear two weeks of doing nothing. Saying nothing.

Soo. I shall be spending the first week sitting on a beach bored whilsy Welshy and his pals drink themselves stupid and BURN
And then the next two weeks feeling like a hanger-on.
Is it wrong for me to feel really pissed about this? Mother reckons i'm being a drama queen and I should be grateful I'm going anywhere (hinting that I'm a bitch for going and she isnt)

I dunno. I'm really annoyed.


Tomorrow is the anniversary. I probably wont be able to blog about it due to a lack of working laptop.
I dont know how I feel about it. I feel sad and the ache is there when I think about it. but I have such a busy day with my interview and other injections and maths and shit to do that I dont know if I can think much about it then.


Saturday will be his birthday and we'll be out for the customary meal and we'll take it from there I guess.
And then in a weeks time I'll be flying out for better or for worst!

And incidently tuesday will be mine and Welshy's 3 year anniversary!! Hardcore!

So its the end of the year and time for another review.

I think I pretty much covered everything I wanted to say about how the years gone in my previous post.
I've had highlights - Holidays. Fagia. Living with Welshy. and I've had lowlights. Nanny getting iller. STILL being at the museum.
Been a bit of a nothing year really, when in the past I've had huge highlights to talk about and think back on.
My resolutions are the same, but I'm going to try and blog more. I miss it sometimes, even though its a bit of a chore sometimes and hard when I share Welshy's laptop.
Its good to put your thoughts down sometimes. Get them out of your head, when you cant express them verbally.
And have them come out as gibberish when I do write it down.

Never mind.

So a super big FUCK OFF to 2oo9 and bring on the New decade and NEW YEAR!!

Happy New Year!

I had set one of my India injections today.
Now my arm is numb and I cant lift it. Gay.
More to come next week! Booo!
I'm glad I dont really have a problem with needles, but its not pleasant! Welshy is back home tomorrow, providing he makes it through the snow and I can come back on the Saturday.
Cant wait. Fed up at home. Ready to go back.