Sunday, June 17, 2018

The problem with not blogging is then you fall out of the habit and then it's like a month later with no updates.
Work thing was shitty but not as bad as I feared. I did the fun ride and I had SO much fun, didn't really jump anything but that's ok we had some good canters and gallops and she didn't hare about out of control. Lots of love for her and its given me some extra confidence for hacking.
Managed to get out of the work fun day due to necessary works cancelling it. They did a sponsored bike ride today from London to Brighton. I was expected to go and watch. I didn't. Got better things to do with my Sunday (like watch the World Cup!)
How many world cups in this blogs existence? Brazil, South Africa, Germany. Think I started blogging sometime around the Japan and South Korea one.

One Night Stand Guy and I have been messaging a fair bit, just casual, friendly banter, a message or two most nights. Two weeks ago we stayed up chatting till quite late and I learned some things that possibly explain his fear of commitment.  Also learned that he has quite the typical fragile male ego! Bless. He's a nice guy really and it'd be very easy to start crushing on him but we're not playing that game any more!

L - Oh God i'm so worried about him. It's been 4 weeks now since he messaged to tell me that while in stroke rehab they discovered cancer in his bowels and lymph nodes. 4 weeks since I've seen him as he claims to be too tired.
He's gone home now. G messaged his brother as he thought maybe we'd upset him. L is weak, in lots of pain and doped up on morphine. I took the bat detector to lend to someone at the museum and they said that his line manager had phoned up his mum as always, only to have her rude and curt down the phone, saying (and this is where stories differ) two museum people tell me that she was told not to phone again, that she'd nearly lost L once and was preparing to lose him again.
Another friend, no longer at the museum tells me that his mum said not to call again as she'd got some bad news.

Spent Thursday convincing myself he was dying any minute and I'd not know, until he messaged me late on to tell me about an infection in his testicles. (really more detail than I ever needed to know)
Feel a bit more reassured now but I'd like to see him for myself to really put my mind at ease but so much harder now he's at his mam's to just drop around, even if he still was up for visitors!

That's all for now folks. I've had a lovely lazy weekend watching the football and now it's time to sort my life out for work again next week - One more week closer to my holiday and only 5 more sleeps until payday....

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Oh god. Not looking forward to work tomorrow.

There was a man who booked a party for his kid a month or so back. Then he rang to admit he'd made a mistake with the date and asked if he could change it which I did. He then rang back a few weeks after that to see if he could change it back to the first date. I said he could and he said he was going to check with his wife and entertainer. I never heard back so left it at the changed date.
Well guess who showed up today which would have been the original date?
My boss panicked. Refunded the money and put him into a larger hall than he wanted. And she's a customer's always right person so i'm going to get into trouble tomorrow.

Dog did dog show this week, ran well. We were unlucky not to get a placing. Planning Flyball BBQ for next weekend and I've signed up to do a fun ride.
I think i'm gonna need it! Dreading tomorrow now. Absolutely dreading it.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Weirdly after my little bicker with One Night Stand guy we've been getting on better. I feel like the cool kids would have a term for this, but i'm just putting it down to having the awkward sex thing out of the way and now just being mates.
Dog has had three flyball comps in a row and has run appallingly at all of them. I was so angry yesterday I completely lost the plot and screamed at her.
I'm taking her to the vets (yet more bloody expense I can do without!) for a pain checkup just in case but I think it's sheer naughtiness.
L didn't want to see us last Thursday after all and when we went this Wednesday he was in a downer mood so that made it hard. So glad I have G there as well when we go to have someone else to talk too!

Charlton made the League One playoffs so I went to watch for the first time in three or four years (imagine that a few years back!) they lost and i've just watched them lose the away leg. I do miss going, but I have too many other things now to go on weekends and devote my life to it again.
Most of my friends have the same feelings which is sad.

Sunday, April 29, 2018

So after last weeks dizzy 24 degrees it's now dropped to 7 degrees and of course because it was so warm it feels worse than that.

Been an up and down week here. I was really pleased with V horse on Tuesday, we had a fantastic lesson with only minor steering errors.
Thursday went to see L in hospital as normal. He'd been talking about coming out with me to see Lovely who was on one of his rare visits from Hull. Friday though he was bottling it, I got impulsive like I did and asked his OT if he could come. He was rather angry and disappointed about me going behind his back and I had to do some major grovelling but we made up and I went to the pub and met B and JD as well as Lovely and it was so nice to catch up.
Saturday was a flyball day in Billericky so not too far to travel which was good!
Had a mixed day. Great to see everyone and get back out racing. Dog didn't run too well, but pulled it back in the end to set up two PB's - 5.2secs! I want to make that consistent now.
Happy banter between me and One Night Stand Guy, got the bacon roll he owed me. Stole his dog. All good. It turns out that another girl who goes but doesn't run a dog works alongside him and mentioned to me that she hears through the grapevine that he's shit at sex and doesn't have the luck with the ladies that he mentions to me. So of course me being me, when we're having a fb chat later and he's mentioning that he's off out to sleep with some girl unless I want to come around, have to bring it up.
Talk about fragile masculinity!! He went completely off the handle. Demanding to know who I'd heard it from, claiming he was going to message her and find out who she had been speaking to.
I said  which wasn't a lie, and that I'd not been listening fully so it was entirely possible I'd got wrong end of the stick. But apparently I didn't "Get it" (the bad sex thing matches up with my experiences btw) and then moaned that I always belittled him.
Which irritated me and I pointed out that he mocks me for not spreading my legs for everyone and being single. I'm lonely yes, but I realise my lifestyle makes it hard to meet new people and anyway. I was very lucky to have had Welshy in my life for 13 years and if that never happens again, then so be it. I'm certainly not desperate for another relationship - too busy for that shit!
Anyway. We made up I guess. Although I'm wondering why you'd get that stroppy unless there was a grain of truth in it!!

Back to work tomorrow and I have two flyball comps next weekend. Looking forward to that and hoping for another good lesson on Tuesday and hopefully there will be no awkwardness when we visit L in hospital Thursday!!!!

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Its finally warmed up! Admittedly jumping from 12 to 24 was a bit much and
I'm rather pink and suffering from usual heat related complaints but its still nice to be in a t shirt for a change.

Usual routine here. Had an awful stomach bug that I'm still not 100% over - lost 1.5kg from it! Payday and instantly blown a lot of it on getting bird seed, dog food and trim and sorting the tortoise out. Annoyingly his lights have blown AGAIN!! He may only be awake for 6 months but he costs me more in that time than all the others put together!!
First outdoor comp of year next week - cant wait!

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Busy week. Had an interview. Didn't get it. Bit gutted really. It would have been perfect!
Just gotta keep eye out for something else.
Made a lot of cakes this weekend as is the last day we have access to the field I walk the dog in.

One Night Stand guy popped up on Friday, wanting me to come around. I was busy baking. I know he was texting another girl at same time as me. I know that he had a girl come around when I refused as busy.

Part of me says that going to him makes me a pushover- makes him not respect me. I don't think he respects any female, certainly not the way he treats them. Although I appreciate how he's always been honest with me.

Then the stupid impulsive part of me whispers - what's the harm in going around there - apart from its a bloody long drive! I like and miss sex and both of us know where we stand.

I think it's the other girls bit that bothers me. If it was just me, then I could do it a lot more and accept it a lot more.

Sunday, April 08, 2018

I used my time off of work wisely, I went to the dinosaurs in the wild at the 02 event, the one that got postponed from the first bout of snow.
As expected I was the only attendee without a small child. No awkward looks there whatsoever! It was very well done however. Based of off Jurassic Park and of course it all went wrong needing us to "evacuate"
I also went down the V and A for an exhibit about Winnie the Pooh and then one on cruise ships and then pottered into the NHM for a slightly disappointing Venom exhibition. Still. As I get to go to these things for free I can't complain!

I rode a fair bit which was good, had a pop over some jumps - nothing major just mostly 50cm and a 60 to finish, felt rather confident doing them which was good, even if they were a bit untidy!

I also have had a bit of a riding breakthrough in terms of my errant hands and contact so all good there!

Monday just gone however the poor dog got very sick, vomiting and fitting. I thought I was going to lose her. As it was all I lost was close to 85 pounds, and the insurance is covering the rest - nearly a thousand pounds! Poor, poor little dog. Broke my heart. She's better now thankfully, just building her strength back up and of course I'm now horribly bankrupt because of it.

I have an interview! Crazily it works out as 10 hours less a week, but nearly 200 pounds a month more - I also would get the fancy pants title of manager. We'll see. It might be beyond me and I've had my fingers burned before lets face it chasing money.

What else? Oh yes me and the receptionist at work went to see the Woman in Black. I pretended I hadn't seen it again. I wanted her to come with me during the Easter Break when I was getting fed up about it being three days since I spoke to anyone in person. Her commitments meant we had to wait until Wednesday.
It was good as always. Couldn't help but note it was the same seats that me and Welshy occupied once nearly 8 years ago. Sigh.

The thing is I have moved on from the relationship side of what we were. I just can't seem to move on from the friendship side and I miss that. Perhaps that's just cos i'm a bit lonely.

Other news? I ended up back in London again yesterday. L is so much better now, he's had the op to fix his skull and he had tickets for the Charles 1st exhibition at the Royal Academy. So off we trotted with his carer. He's hoping to be allowed home soon.

We've finally lost the battle for the field and now i'm not sure where I'll walk the dog come winter. The 16th is the last day and I'll be sad to lose it and the friends I've made walking there.