Thursday, April 18, 2019

I'm doing so bad at this, this year!

Anyway. He's now back from Vietnam. We had a bit of clear the air chats, he apologised if he ever did anything to lead me on. I explained it wasn't so much that, but the constant messaging every day that confused me a bit.
I dont speak to anyone on a virtual daily basis. He was a bit surprised by that and said that he spoke to most of his closest friends nearly every day.
Anyway that's fine between us. I swapped him a Skygo login for his BTsports (so happy about that?! How good was the Spurs/City Champ league game last night?)

He had a major falling out while he was away with some of the flyball lot, banter got out of hand. He's had it coming to himself for a long while and I've told him that. He's threatening now to quit flyball, which A) will piss me majorly as it's a ballache sorting accomodation out for that Champs and I was really looking forward to the camper van fun that we had booked. B) I'll miss the silly sod if he does go, we are good mates!

Trying to up the ante on dogs fitness for the champs. A couple of nice long walks and the first outdoor one of the season is this weekend down in Hampshire.

TMWMITW's court case got settled - close to a million payout! Of course nothing coming my way. I have an interview tomorrow in one of the nice bars in Blackheath Village, I'm hoping that I can get 10 hours or so a week to top up my wages, fit in around everything else and pay off the debt now that its more clear than ever that I'm not getting anything from them.
I've taken out a new credit card and used it to do a balance transfer to another which has paid off just over half of it, of course I'm aware its not solved any problem but at least there's no interest on this other card while I try and clear both and there will be less interest now on the other one so should help and of course if I can get this bar work (which I have to thank FWB for) that will help as well. Not counting chickens of course. My life is so disastrous I may well end up losing this job!
I had considered applying for an IVA but I think I'd rather try and do it myself than ruin my credit rating further and still be paying loans off and being on a restricted budget that they give me. So fingers crossed I can make tomorrow work out somehow - even if its only for the summer, a few extra quid will go a long way!!
Still trying to sort out the claims for the payday loans I took out, not much hope in persuing them but we'll give it a go, again even if I only get a 100 or so back, its money I didn't have before!

Work remains the same. I've been on my own virtually all week with very little to do, which is why I'm doing this now!

Tuesday, April 02, 2019

We're chatting but definitely cool compared to how it was before. Looking forward to him going away, although i'm insanely jealous. Still think the distance will do us world of good as I did get a bit eaten up on Thursday knowing he was with this girl.

I think my days at this job are numbered. I've given myself the goal of getting out by end of the month. It's good that I've never really been given much to do as that means I can spend a lot of time job hunting!

Applied for a few bits and pieces, we'll see.

I got a puncture Friday night leaving the yard. I was really scared, never had one before and never had someone show me what to do. Brat was his usual helpful self. Ended up getting a friend from flyballs husband to come out for the rescue. I hate asking people for help! But I think I have a rough idea now how to do it myself, gonna ask him to show me again at a show in the summer so I can do it myself.

I went out Saturday night with a friend from flyball, we had a trip to the Shard (amazing view) and a really nice meal. I was supposed to be going out after with the girls from where I used to work but they ended up bailing really late on!
Rubbish and I have blisters from walking around Borough market in heels.

I bought some proper nice flavoured wine though, me and FWB have confirmed the camper again (wise? who knows?) and book marked the wine merchants website so I can buy some more and put it away for the champs.

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Bad habits.
Anyway. Last Monday I slept with FWB. It's the last time. I had a bit of a blind date on Saturday and I spent more time wondering how he would take it, than actually interacting with this guy.
Yesterday we were talking and he mentioned that he had told a friend about our arrangement. Didnt like that. Felt that he was boasting and laughing about me.
About 30 seconds later he told me he was going on a date Thursday (tomorrow).
Definitely didnt like that. Battled with it all today and finally sent him an email explaining how I felt, that I'm worried I'm starting to catch feelings.
I dont know what I expected. Yes it would have been nice if he said he felt the same.
I knew deep down he didnt. I wasnt surprised. I need to give myself some time now and get over it. Tha fully he is going to Vietnam to work for a few weeks so with the time difference, and today we probably wont talk much if at all.
I'm pleased with myself for doing this. Its helped me move on massively from Welshy and now I get to say i have two ex's! (Even if it's not really true!).
He's an arrogant, immature prat and I knew we'd make better mates than fuck buddies.
And I still get to count that very first night as a one night stand!!!
Yeah! Go me!

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Turns out I did have a flu type bug. Tired, a achey, hot and cold. Yuck. Took couple of days off work and now left with bruised ribs and cough.

Hardly rode cos of it. Went to FWB on Tuesday
 Supposedly for sex, but we ended up watching spurs game. He also told me Wednesday I was welcome over any time for football if it was BT sport as I don't have that.
Planned a dog walk, and alright he was pissed Friday night but he invited me over then as it was easier to go from his. Turned out it wasn't as I went and collected another friend but nice anyway. And yes we did have sex this time, I also fancied it again when I woke and he was asleep and he didn't take kindly to how I woke him up for it! Ooops! Haha!

I won tickets in the ballot for the euro semi nations thing so me and J are off to Porto in June!! Be a laugh, although acutely aware last time we were out, he was a bit too touchly feely for someone supposedly just a mate!!!

Sunday, February 24, 2019

I know, I know. So easy to let this slip.

I actively dislike my job I hate doing nothing. It's living the dream but I need to be doing more.
Started applying for some other things. I need to get out before I start settling and letting my standards slip.

Horse has been going really well, dog has been going well. Adventures with FWB have ground to a halt really, only slept together twice this month. Not seen him much more than that. His dogs have had kennel cough and I can't risk going there in case it spreads to mine. He is off to work in Vietnam for a couple of weeks soon. Let's see what happens there.

Started new fitness regime for dog. I want to get her running at 4.7 speeds, we did it once before and can get 4.9's out of her. Today we moved to a faster team and our times were between 5.3 and 5.5 but that's me and my changes and I can work on this, hopefully with aid of fitness regime and the days getting longer.

Mother and TMWMITW flew ba k from the states today. They had done a 5 week road trip. I drove to Gatwick to meet them for dinner, full of their adventures. It was alright.

My chicken has started laying eggs! Very excited although 4 eggs a week is slightly more than I wish to eat! Dog has been getting one a week and I took a couple over to an old lady the other day as well. Be alright when it comes to baking days, will just save them up!

I had a massive clear out of my room yesterday, although it's still a shit heap and I was so tired, I ended up asleep by 9.30. It's nearly 9 now and I'm already in bed!!!
Feel quite drained, hope I'm not coming down with a bug.
Promise to do better with this next week!

Sunday, January 27, 2019

Last week was dog comp on Sunday. Got in late and didn't feel like doing this.

Work remains boring but bearable. I have an interview on Thursday for a part time role in a charity in Greenwich. It's 3 days a week that I can't live on, but I'm going in case there a hope it can become 4 days. If it does the money would be the same as what I get for doing 5 days now so who would be the winner?!

FWB situation remains the same. He made a comment about us travelling together, as well as us making plans for dog show this summer and camping again in the van together.
Tonight made comment about needing a fulltime gf. Made me a bit sad if I get benched, i do like our arrangement.
Went there Thursday and then we took our dogs for a walk Saturday.

And in two paragraphs that has summed up the last two weeks!!!

Sunday, January 13, 2019

This week at work has been a bit more bearable, or maybe I've just come to terms with the crappiness of it all.
Decided if I'm going to be there past the probation I will ask to finish at 4.30 but get feet under table first.
Had two really nice rides on V this week and dog ran well at agility and also scored more 4.9's today.
Had a quickie with FWB - first in a month! On Thursday.
Tuesday would have been Dad's 60th and yesterday was 5 years since Granddad died and would have been 13 years with Welshy. All the shit always happens in Jan! Next terrible marker is sacking day!

Moving on and let's see what the next week brings. Have dog show next Sunday *touch wood* she continues to do really well.