Monday, December 31, 2012

Hey! You know what else? I realised I have stats to look at where people come from. Rather big in Russia for some reason. Since starting over 2860 views.
с Новым годом to you guys
and 550 from the Netherlands so Gelukkig Nieuwjaar to you guys too.

(Hope Google translate hasn't let me down there)

I'm gonna put my new year resolutions on here, as it seemed to help me remember everything I wanted to try and achieve before the 30.


  1. Be a nicer person, stop getting ratty with the Mother and remember to be patient with her. Likewise I need to stop taking my rage and general misery out on Welshy, this includes random assaults when he's asleep and I'm angry. Counting to 10 is always good.
  2. Try and concentrate a little harder at work. I'm so overwhelmed with it, I need to take a few more minutes out of my day and think about what I'm doing. Make a list if I need too.
  3. Travel more. - Starting with tomorrow's trip to watch the Addicks play Watford! Haha!
  4. Consider doing the Spic properly, aiming to sit a qualification.
  5. Save. I need to replace the money I spent whilst unemployed.
  6. Buy my horse!
  7. Keep this a little more up to date!
  8. keep a list of all that I read. Just to see what I get though in a year.
These are all rather boring........

7. Drink more and dance more!

Happy New Year all. 

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Maybe I'll do my end of year round up now! Just for shits and giggles like!

Crazy old year, started in Spain, ended back in London (Will I ever go for good?) I miss my random adventures. Those crazy drunken nights. The odd fiestas. The cold. The Apocalypse days. The horse friends I made, my toddler boys I taught. But I don't miss the other lessons. I don't miss the man who pretty much sexually assualted me on the road to Calahorra. I don't miss the endless arguments me and Welshy had. The way he had me feeling so miserable. Wondering if we were ending our relationship. I learnt a lot out there. I learnt that we couldn't live in each others pockets. I always guessed this. We're too different. We wind each other up. We need our own space, our own friends, to be separate from each other.
I genuinely thought we'd break up.
Maybe one day I'll add some of the adventures we had out there to fit in the gaps when I didn't blog. I'm lazy. I probably won't.

So we came home. And the novelty of being home quickly went, I need to work, I learnt. To not work takes  stuff away from me. The Mother and boy telling me I shouldn't have left the museum. The bastard who prevented me returning. The job centre who refused to help, destroyed me, made me use my life savings just to keep going. The utter, utter misery and black heavy depression. All bad points.

But! Good points! Sunny Pony. Learning how to trust each other and hack out. Learning to read him and what I could take from him, how far I could push him. I miss my little pony. Going to Lisbon! Such a pretty city! Getting to go to Austria and fulfilling a life long dream to visit the Spanish Riding School.
And another life long dream realised! The Olympics! Ever since Barca '92 when I was 8 I've loved and dreamed of going and it was good to be unemployed during those two weeks. And being there all throughout the 3 day event. Cheering us on to Silver medal. I'll never forget it!

And my new job. I spend a lot of the time virtually overwhelmed with it all, my tasks sometimes threatening to overflow my mind, not knowing where to start. Its still a learning curve. But unlike any other job I've ever had my days go quickly, I don't have time to be bored. Don't have time to cause mischief.

Tomorrow is NYE.  I won't be celebrating as ever. Its been a strange old year. I'm very excited about next year. Life changed during 2011. Continued changing though 2012. I have plans about what I want to happen in 2013. Patience will show if they happen or not. I want to go back to India, I want to go to South Africa for my 30th Birthday. I want to buy a horse and I want to move out. I doubt all those things will happen (most likely the moving out going by track record!) But we'll see how it all plays out!
Football was cold and wet yesterday. Yuck.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Back to work tomorrow! Seems silly to be back for one day but ah well. Good to ease myself back gently into it I guess.
Meeting Lovely in Greeny after work though which'll be fab. Felt a bit meh today. Last night I had a brief Reed search for my new job role and saw it for ridiculous sums - I'm talking 40k yearly upwards. Quick look and it seemed the same thing I do. Looked today and not really sure my skills'd be transferable after all. Tax and medical are rather different.
Updated all my details though and got a call for a potential interview. I explained my circumstances and they said they may get back in touch in the new year.
Next week I really need to put the brave pants on and find out where I stand. Either so I can start looking for new shit or book leave!
Don't know why I feel so meh today. Back to work blues I guess. Got three people coming in one after the other to register and I gotta find this womans paperwork to send back to her and I have an awful feeling I've lost it somewhere. Blagged it by saying I stuck it in the post so passing buck to Royal Mail and Christmas Rush but really have to get on with tracking it down tomorrow! She came across quite scary too! Not the sort I want to mess with!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Read some of my old christmas posts today. Ha. There was on from the early days, saying how I wanted to visit Las Vegas, New York, Goa. Little did I imagine that I'd actually go to these places! Be planning a small return trip to Goa in the New Year all being well. Life has a funny way of working out! I'm glad I have this to record (no matter how irregular) my thoughts and wishes. Its good therapy. And a good way of keeping hold of memories and thoughts.
The New Year is rapidly approaching and with it my 30th birthday.
I set myself challenges in August 2009.

1 - To either have my own place or be living away from home. - I'm starting to accept this may never happen. Houses prices and even rent are now largely outside my affordabilities. I've tried three times to leave home for good and its never worked out. There's still time for me to go before August, and perhaps I'll still leave but not within that timeframe. I hate and loathe being here. But when its a choice between this and homelessness, there's no choice.

2. To learn a foreign language  - Can we take this one as given? I'd not consider myself fluent in Spanish by any means. I'd like to carry on learning it. I can get by out there. Can do basic things. buy tickets for trains etc. Struggle to hold a conversation.

3. To Live abroad for a year. - This one is completed too. I miss my Spanish town but I've learnt the hard way about clinging on to the past. Maybe we'll go back for the town fiesta. I'd like that. Maybe we won't go back ever again. But I've done it.

4 . Get that Maths GCSE - Would you consider this done? I would. I improved my grade up three places with one years study. Yes technically a D isn't a pass as Welshy would remind me. But I'm really pleased with it still and consider it one of my greatest accomplishments, would I have got the C if I'd done it over two years? Dunno. Maybe i'd have lost interest. Maybe in a few years I'll ask Welshy's help again and we'll try for the C. Maybe not.

5. Get a better job - Hmm.. up for debate. Yes I left the museum. But my role is only temporary. We will have to wait and see by the end of Jan. We'll see

6 - To get a horse of my own - I want this to happen. In fact I'm seriously considering it should No. 5 come into play. But is it fair to get a horse when it means pretty much resigning me and Welshy to living at home? I couldn't afford a horse and to move out. One will have to take precedence over the other.

7 - To pass my driving test. - The one thing that I've made no attempt to try and improve or achieve since 2009. It doesn't matter really, its one of those things that I couldn't actually afford to run, nor have the need for one at this moment in time.

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Happy Christmas!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Pretty bad day at work. Pretty embarrassing too. I'd spent 10 minutes on the phone placating and explaining to one of my pipeline candidates why we couldn't send him to work yet and how he was almost but not quite there. Got off the phone a bit fraught although it had ended well, it was exhausting.
One of the consultants rocked up to me, accusing me of ignoring her client.  Who is a priority case apparently. First I'd heard of it. Anyway in my job. I deal with a different 100-200 clients a week. I have to chase about 30 bits of paperwork for each of these clients, constantly call who ever I'm dealing with that week to ask why they've not gone to training/not provided me with immunisation records, to try and get clients who are already out work to update their paperwork or to simply provide me with basic details such as a completed application form, as previous people in my department (or consultants) didn't care, they just wanted names. Sometimes I don't even have proof that they are a registered nurse/doctor/monkey or have a clean criminal record.
I also answer the phone, meet and greet new clients and register them, and run errands to the shops and other general housekeeping bits. As a temp I'm under huge pressure to get them to keep me on to avoid signing on again, and our whole department - 3 people - to get these people compliant and out to work and get/keep the ones that are out to work legal.
Sometimes I'm a bit blank when people pass clients over to me saying that they've asked for me as I have a pisspoor memory for names and faces and there's always that moment of panic before I locate their files online.
I knew this guy anyway. I registered him, sent him away as I didn't have a CRB form to give him, needed him to provide me with a Hep B update and to get me life support training certification. The CRB forms only came in late Thursday and when I called him Friday there was no answer.
I'd sent off Hep B for him, although he'd not done the imm correctly, but I thought (mistakenly) that he could get a temp clearance.
The consultant sat down with me and asked me why I hadn't contacted him in the two weeks he'd be registered with us. It was a genuine slip of the mind. And besides I had intended to call him again once the CRB forms arrived as he needed to come to the office to pay for it, she asked me if I didn't understand my job. If I needed more training. That I needed to ensure I called all her clients every week to give them progress reports. To chase them for paperwork.
My boss took offence to this on my behalf and argued that I was doing all I could. I had already decided to take the route of blank ignorance. To be patronised, all the time not making waves, trying to keep the peace as I always do.
For 10 minutes they had a heated argument in front of me about my competency for the job, about the impossible pressure my department has, trying to make over 1000 people compliant who have been allowed to slip or are newly registered. It was humiliating. I tried to make my point occasionally, but to be honest I might as well have not been there.
I would have kept my cool - just - if my boss hadn't then tried to be sympathetic. Urgh. Waterworks. Then the other girl took me aside and warned me that I couldn't be friendly with anyone. That they were liars and cheats, all out to get themselves as many clients out working as possible, not caring about what we were supposed to do (I'd already had an inkling of this when my boss and a consultant had an argument about whether they could use someone who's VISA had expired 6 months ago, consultant argued that as long as they were going to get a new one it'd be ok. Boss merely pointed out that not only was he working illegally, that if we continued to employ him knowing this, we'd be closed down).
So glad to go home early today. And don't have to go back until the 27th. I enjoy the job I do. I like the fact I'm busy all the time. I don't like the fact that sometimes I'm doing 3 different jobs at once, that I get thrust things on me. And I don't like the fact that my team - me - are being treated like dogsbodies and thought to not be doing our job properly when we ring people every week and they consistantly ignore emails and phone calls. Or lie.

Anyway its Christmas now. Time for peace on Earth and all that bollocks. And there's a BA sale on and I have enough pennies to pay for flights to India in the New Year. Just waiting for Welshy to be paid so we can purchase. :)

Saturday, December 22, 2012

So we all survived the end of the world!

Congrats to all.

Christmas shopping is done. I have a half day Monday and then that's it till Friday. Welshy is with his friends tonight and then home to Wales for Christmas. Went for a meal with new work Wednesday which was nice. Last Friday I went out with Welshy and TDR which was fantastic. So glad to be out and about.
I'm finally clear of credit card debit, have currently 300 in my normal spending account and have 400 in my holiday fund - we're still thinking about India in the New Year - although dependent on me being kept on at work.
Things are looking up. Still need a new horsey pal though. Starting to miss them, although not missing being out in this awful weather.
I might be going to a back doctor in the New Year. Hopefully will help with the muscle pain I've suffered in my shoulders for years. Trying to convince the Welsh One to come as well.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

You know you're getting old when:

  • Your boyfriend is convinced you're losing your hearing and makes you take two hearing tests online and go to the doctors for a check.
  • You make the conclusion that you shouldn't have a drink past 9pm as otherwise it means getting up in the middle of the night and MY FUCK is it cold at the moment.

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Other new starter has bailed through illness, so only me so far. Its ok, they're talking of trying to get someone else in. They had their xmas party last Friday. Everyone bar Charby and the Muslim down one end not working but drinking. Drank a reasonable amount of Rose wine and went to bed mourning my lack of friends. Not like they haven't had time to plan for me to attend, I mean I had the interview end of October....

TBH I don't really give a fuck. Although I desperately want to go and have a night out. Only been out three or four times since returning from Spain in April.

Welshy is talking about returning to India in the new year, Don't know if I can face that hellish flight again. The new year brings the start of my 30th year. I want to go to South Africa for my actual birthday.

If I'm kept on at the company, I'm hoping for a decent wage increase and then I plan to buy my pony. I've actually spent this evening working out start up costs and what it'd cost me per year. Although I really need to call up a lot of yards to get livery fees, but I don't see the point of doing that until I know I'm settled at work and in the position to do so, I reckon I could do it, I can cover farrier and Vet bills and saddler/back bills. Feed/hay/bedding could be the downfall though, but again thats dependent on how often the horse could live out, whether I went for straw or shavings, what it needs to eat.

Terrifyingly I'm going to the doctors on Tuesday for a hearing examination. Since a night out in Jan in Spain where I danced all night under a speaker they've not been great. Welshy reckons I've gone a little deaf. Every now and then I can feel my ear drum vibrating. Hopefully it'll just need a good cleaning out. Don't fancy a hearing aid.