Saturday, April 17, 2010

I have my old laptop at the flat now, finally, anyway i'm at home. This is my second trip to A&E in two days.
When I was 13/14 I damaged my neck, it went into spasms and locked so I was unable to look left or up/down. They let me have a week off of school and a neck brace to support it.
I've always felt that it hadnt healed properly (possibly cos i went to the stables and rode and heaved/shovelled shit about) as I've suffered off and on with muscle strains, more so than a normal person would, although it never stops me doing anything.
Friday morning and Welshy's alarm goes off and I rolled away from it, I heard and felt this awful grinding, crashing noise below my ear and I knew what I'd done.
I couldnt get up. I thrashed about for 20 minutes yelping and sobbing in pain, before pulling myself up, I tried to sleep it out, as in the past I've been able to stretch my neck into place. But when I woke again I couldnt get up.
I had to get Welshy to help me to dress and then we went to A&E in Whitechapel, there I was manhandled by some idiot nurse, who grabbed me where I said it hurt, pressed in and rotated my neck. I couldnt help it, I burst into tears. The pain is so great, even codeine isnt helping, it shoots from the base of my neck up to my ear.
"Oh. Did that hurt?"
No you whore I cry all the time.
Anyway she gave me codeine, told me in as many words that I would be fine, suggested that I'd had some car accident and it was whiplash-related (I've never been in one) or that it was the start of early onset osteoperosis and sent me home.
I couldnt sleep last night, I spent most of it sobbing as I was exhausted, but couldnt lie down, couldnt rotate my neck to get comfortable on the sofa.
I went to A&E today in Greenwich, where the doctor gave me prescription strength medicine, told me I could self-cert if I needed and sent me away.
I cant bear it, the codeine numbs the pain to an extent but I still hurt so much and my right neck muscles are starting to hurt now from looking that way.
I cant self cert from work as they count my days off as sick days, so despite today being my registered rest day, it would count as two sick days, (fri and today) my next rest day is Tuesday, so if I have tomorrow off, thats three days or two again if I have Monday off, if I have the rest of the week after that off, it takes me to the weekend, so I'd need a doctors note to say why i've had all this time off.
No one will give me one, nor will they give me a neck brace to support me like they did when I was younger.
I can't go into work in this much pain, I cant even dress without help. And I cant go another night with no sleep.
But what else can I do?

Mother has been trapped in Lanzagrotty due to this ash cloud and she keeps giving me demands about ringing her insurannce and doctors and organising shit and I cant do it cos I cant move.
Ow, Ow, Ow.
Anyway she's got it good, in a 5* hotel, all accomadation and food and most importantly free drink paid for, for the duration.
And she'll get more time off of work if she cant get back for monday.