Sunday, April 30, 2006

holy shit green!

Saturday, April 29, 2006


Can't ever imagine a time without him, 7 years I've watched him pootle around in that grey jumper with the baggy eyes and paper.

"Yesterday I sat down with Alan to discuss our plans for the future and Alan was as honest as he has always been throughout his time at Charlton and told me he would not be extending his current contract. We enjoy a fantastic relationship and Alan only wants to do his best for Charlton for whom he has a deep affection. Alan is, in my opinion, the greatest football manager this club has ever had. We both agreed that it would, therefore, be in the interests of the club and Alan if we parted company at the end of the current season. We do so as the best of friends. Alan will manage a Charlton team for the last time at Old Trafford next Sunday and today is his last match in charge of a Charlton team at home. When Alan emerges from the tunnel today I would ask each and every one of you to stand and pay tribute to a remarkable man and leave him in no doubt of the genuine affection you all hold for someone who has done so much for our football club and is, in my opinion, the greatest football manager this club has ever had."

Incredible scenes at the end. I did get a bit touched by it all. A shame the game was crap though!

And guess who forgot it was a 5.15 kickoff and was at Charlton Church Lane at ten to 3 wondering why it was dead!

Friday, April 28, 2006

"You want me to do talks? I don't even like the public! Too noisy!"
"That was part of the job description."
"I guess.."

So here I am, loaded down with over 34 pages of information on the different talks we give at the aquarium, and printing off pages and pages on the different fishes so I can recognise some of the rarer ones, and be able to identify them easily and whilst I'm at home too.
Its like being back at uni again! I could go through my archives and find out exactly when that last essay was handed in, the last presentation done, but I'm a lazy fuck and that's boring!
And much like my uni days, I'm successfully avoiding doing any revision via the age old, fool-proof methods of drinking lots and eating pringles and drawing a smily face onto my ankle!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Gutted! No free ice cream for me!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Picture the scene, your heroine (me) is leaning on her scanner, idly plotting ways to kill Kim Wilde and stop that awful gormless grin I am faced to confront every day and counting down the seconds till I get released (17 minutes and 23 seconds!)
A man stops, looks at the stack of boxes of prunes.
"How much?" He demands.
I assume he's blind and cant see the A4 sized pink sheet just 6 inches above the dumpstack.
He piles loads into a basket and approaches me.
"Altogether then thats 6.40" I say pleasantly.
"£1.15 you said."
"£1.15 EACH" I wonder if there's something in the atmosphere at [insert well known health food shop here]
"So how much altogether?" He waves a two pound coin under my nose.
"that can't be right."
"why not?!
He pulls them all out the bag and starts counting them, claiming that my till must have added them up wrong.
He counts, looks at me, and then counts again.
"I know where I've gone wrong!"
"Yes! I only wanted one packet!"
"But! But! You picked up six!"
He scowls at me.
"manners dont cost anything you know"

Sunday, April 23, 2006

I have a pay rise at work!

Oh yes! From the mighty 5.15 an hour to now getting 5.70 an hour, I really don't know what I'm gonna do with all these riches!

I've been too lazy too post this weekend so here's a quick update!

On Friday at the aquarium (before my adventures in the freezer department of Sainsburys) I discovered that one guy is leaving.
So do I apply for the job or not? I haven't decided.
The good things about it are that I like it and the people there, and it'd be a start anyway degree-wise.
But there are several bad points, such as:

A) The pays no better than I'm getting now, yes I'll be getting full time pay but I'll be spending more on commuting to London so getting no benefit from it, and I'll already posted my dislike of commuting.
B) Its not really as hands on as I'd like with the animals, I've pretty much attended all the talks and assisted with all the feeds that the normal education staff do, the only difference is that I'd be doing the talks, which I dont do now but they are thinking of teaching me to do.
I'd really been spending 6 hours a day making badges and sitting on the ray pool, so I dunno.

What do you guys think? Should I apply if the position comes up and then see what happens or just carry on as I am?
Incidently I've been given different hours of work and am thinking of using my new perminant day off to volunteer at a wetlands reserve, and learn how to build birdboxes and weed out pests and stuff, so it'd be another thing to add to the CV.

The football on Saturday? I dont really wanna talk about it, its too depressing, I do have some thoughts but will save them till the last home game of the season next week.

Whilst at work on Saturday, I was placed in charge of the weekend girl, and the girl who just started that day.
We ran out of change and I had one ten pound note and no access to the office to get more.
It was scary and I was considering barricading ourselves in with a small wall built of nuts and dried apricots.

Friday, April 21, 2006

You know supermarkets have those really big doors to the freezers, so they're like walk-in-able?
And you know how fond I am of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream right?
Well did you also know that the doors are sticky? And if you let one bang against you while you reach in for that last hiding pot of "oh my apple pie" and think that its no big deal cos you can push it open again when you back out.
Well you'd be wrong there. So very, very wrong.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

There was an investigation into our poor stock take today!
Oh the horror of it all!
Mostly its to do with all the thieving, there is no CCTV installed and they refuse to splash out for some for us.
Cheap cunting bastards.
I got into trouble too! Oh yes, once again my poor maths skills have let me down, damn it.
Sigh, its like being dyslexic only with numbers instead of letters and I got a right good telling off, but never mind cos tomorrow is Fishyday and I can't get into too much trouble there!

Update - I just cut my hand open, hmmm, not sure that'll go down well seeing as I'm not meant to have any open cuts.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Oooh! The Dodgey Chinese Pirate DVD sellers are branching into porn!

2nd ooh! The Lurker has abandoned his winter getup of tweed coat and tribly hat to a rather fetching bright blue jumper and orangey-mustardy coloured flat cap.
He still stinks of coconut though, and appears to be growing his beard back, which saddens me, he always looks so much more friendly without it.
When he has his beard he looks like the kinda person you'd see on the news after going on a killing spree with an axe in Woolwich High Street.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Just returned from a day spent with OF in their place in the Sussex Countryside, about two years ago they were left 5 acres of woodland and have set about building their dream home.
They've spent most of that time living in two caravans but now the house is nearing completion!
Me and Mum went to see them today.
As I've said before here, when away from other influences telling her she needs to grow up OF is great fun to play with, we reminscened about childhood games we played, and indulged our inner children shamelessly.
We made a rope ladder from knots to shimmy up and created a wodden swing from that same grotty bit of rope and an large chunk of stolen tree, ran around shrieking, had an easter egg hunt, fended off our finds from her two dogs, played fetch with Puppy Dotty (now a very grown up 18 months old and still very playful), investigated piles of old fallen wood, and generally had a pretty awesome time getting filthy in the country!

Friday, April 14, 2006

What did you guys do with your Fridays?

Me I spent it hand feeding various fishies, including a two foot long Zebra Shark!
I was allowed to go "behind the scenes" more today and got to see where they keep the really cool stuff like Moray eels, a smaller cousin of the Manta Ray and the Black-tip sharks - Believe me they are creepy!
I got to feed the fish in the Rainforest, Mangrove and Coral reef tanks too, I got nipped by an archerfish who mistook my finger for a slimy sand eel but he didnt break the skin and let go as soon as he realised his mistake, so its all cool there!
I rescued a lost child, spent a scary amount of time at the craft table and made two aquarium wide announcements!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I hate Boro.
4-2 to The Smoggies
Todays the day!
Unfortunately I didn't get a ticket but I'll be watching on the telly and cheering us on in our attempt to reach the FA cup Semi finals!
The coaches will have left or be on their way now!
Let Operation Riverside Commence!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

My Nanny, as I've stated elsewhere in here is suffering from Alzheimers, its quite frankly exhausting dealing with her, as much as I care about her and see her as much as I can.
The other day my Aunty G was checking her bank book and discovered that 2k was missing from her account so asked Mum if she could sort it out as she's off work with Easter Holidays.
Anyway, the money was found in another account and Mum and the Bank Manager took Nanny in hand and organised her fianances, and discovered that she has about 40k in accessable cash!!
That's not to mention their house which is theirs, shares that she's collected from somewhere and the money in joint accounts with Granddad (and his own money!)
My Grandparents are loaded! Where did it all come from?! No one can work it out!

Anyway. While Mum was looking through boxes and stuff trying to find bank books she found some old photographs.
There's not many old ones around of my grandfolks, and great-grandparents, mainly cos of their rows - in which my Mum recalls Nanny ripping up albums of them, and ripping others up over an old family feud - involving some quite nasty court cases over child abuse, which might make another post when I lack inspiration one day.
That picture up there is her in her Land Army Days, way back in WW2 (possibly dates are a little hazy) as far as we can make out she was stationed in Cornwall and shortly after this picture was taken was in a nasty car accident where she went out the front window of the car, leaving her with a lifetime of being a nervous passenger on car rides.

This one touches me, I dunno if you guys can make it out but it says "all my love Jean" and was sent to my Granddad, on the back it says "here's the picture you asked for, but keep it to yourself, it's terrible!"
I only picture them as my grandparents, fighting like cat and dog (and believe me I've witnessed some terrible fights with name-calling and things being thrown at each other!)
Its hard to believe that they were young and in love and separated and by the looks of things, just as caught up in the neuroses about looks and things that we do now!
I'm not sure of the date of this picture, I know that my Granddad was in Burma (whether as part of ww2 or not I dont know) and also rejoined the army to go to Korea - where he claims he spent the war teaching them how to play football with a Scot called Jock and painted boats hulls, - he speaks very little of army life, there is a photo of him all dressed up in army gear and he tells of seeing a orangatang walk out of the jungle at him but thats all he really speaks of and we never ask him either.

As I mentioned after the Great Fight there's little wedding photos around, also few as rationing and stuff was on at the time.
There is another photo of them with their wedding feast, which consisted of one bottle of ale, a plate of sandwiches and a single plain sponge cake.
The only other Surviving wedding picture is them surrounded by other family members, most of which I don't know and have never met and of which Mum only has vague memories of.

Monday, April 10, 2006

We've not done it for a while so here's Conversations with My Customers part 4/5/6?

ring, ring.

Me. "Hello [insert well known health food shop name here] Woolwich"
C. "Yeah, has my wife been in yet?"
Me. "Excuse me?"
C. "Yeah, she came in and was gonna buy some Aloe Vera (This might be an British thing but does anyone else subsitute that for a 'allo Vera in a parrot voice?)
So do you think we get only one or two customers a day and can remember everything purchased? Stupid fucking idiot.

C. "Yeah I want these banana chips"
Me. "That's 93p please"
C. "Er no, they're 74p"
Me. "Show me?"
C. "Here."
Me. "Yeah, you know the Papaya next door to it? That's 74p"
You stupid fucking cunty cunt. Can you not tell the difference? Can you not read the giant pink sign?!

C. "I want these orange flavoured teabags."
Me. "£1.19 please."
C. "I thought they were £1.09, I'm not paying that!"
Two minutes later, the same customers return with a £4.99 bottle of cod liver pills, whilst looking for their (exact) money, they pull out a wod and I mean a wod of cash, all fifties, there must have been over £2oooo there.
My first thought is who did they rob/steal to get that money, (come on it is Woolwich!) and only when they leave I wonder why they made such a fuss over 10 fucking pence.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Yesterday I was woken by an unfamilar american voice!
After a few disbelieving minutes (when I first wake I'm not too good at anything until I get my toast!) I realised it was Spins!
And we quickly made plans for a fun-filled evening with Flash which would involve a lot of drinking!
So we met outside the National Gallery and headed out on a hunt for a real english chippy!
And then we commenced on an awesome night of drinking!
In which we forced poor Spins to sit baffled through various football highlights, where we ignored her and gazed at the big screen, drank a lot, discussed accents, drank a lot, laughed a fair bit, put blogworld to rights, and drank a lot!
And then found ourselves wandering down the streets of London, stuck as the tubes had stopped running and I needed a nightbus!
Somewhere in this I got several phone calls from a neurotic Parent, and made several calls to Welshy, not that I'm too sure why.
I also pee-ed in the street, had a strange Albanian man try to chat me up on the way home and finally stumbled into my bed around 3 or 4am!
Great night though and great to finally meet Spins!
(and see Flashy again of course!)

Friday, April 07, 2006

So I went for my first day at the aquarium!
I spent most of it just following people round, listening to the odd talk and getting hopelessly lost.
I loved it though!
I got to feed the seahorses!
And I got placed in charge (!) of the ray touchpool, which basically involves standing there for half hour, making sure no one picks the fish up, shouting at those who splash the water too much and making sure no one jumps in.
Then they put me in the craft table with loads of little kiddies making badges and stuff.
I made an octopus badge - I wore it home!
The people there are all very nice and funny too so that always makes it easier!
I really can't wait to go back next week!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

A lot of people ask me why I've always been so into my animals and why I wanted to work with them.
Its a hard thing to answer, I normally say I like animals, they're so easy to work out, where as people baffle me.

And then sometimes I think about when I was young and I'd ride the trains up to London Bridge or Charing Cross.
Riding with commuters packed into trains, all smartly dressed and gazing out of windows in a distracted way, looking at the same things they've seen everyday for several years, some reading, or attempting to do so in those crowded conditions or some catching a few extra dozes and I'd wonder about them, did they like this?
Did they want to go into the field that they found themselves in now, or had they wanted to DO things, GO places, BE explorers in their childhood and now found themselves captive in offices, gazing out of windows wistfully at the pigeons flying free in the parks?
And in those days it was still slam-door trains and they'd sound like heartbeats bang-bang-bang as they'd all file in and out like herds of cattle to various offices to fill in another dull day of being trapped in an office.
I hated the thought of that, I swore it'd never happen to me, I was not going to be a Commuter getting up early to go to London and not getting back till late.
Working in a suit and in front of a computer would kill me so what options did I have?
And I remember being about 6 or 7 and travelling up to Waterloo and deciding I'd rather sweep the streets than do that and deciding as well, that I wanted to be well paid for what I did.
I'd had enough of the constant poor-ness of my family, I was going to get a job that I could be well paid in and not be in a dreaded office or be another faceless member of the Commuter Herd.
Well I could be an author or work with animals, but I quickly decided writing wasn't for me.
I enjoy it and like crafting little stories for my own enjoyment but when I've had to do them for school or others the words fail me.
But I could work with animals, and be outside in the fresh air, with creatures I loved.
And of course my parents hated it.
"You wont get paid well, you'll be a skivvy" They'd tell me and it made me all the more determined.
Not for me working in a kennel or down the local stables.
I was going to be a vet!
So when I was 16 I spent two weeks in a local vet surgery at realised something else very important, I could do all that they asked to try and get into Vet school, and possibly still miss out - They're very fussy and inundated with people wanting to work with animals.
But the main problem I had is my clumsiness and lack of skill and patience with fiddly things and a vet is Surgeon as well as animal GP.
So I drifted aimlessly for a year or two, unsure of what I wanted but knowing definately what I wanted NOT to be.
And then whilst helping E look through the uni listing books I saw a zoology course.
I looked it up in the dictionary.
A study of animals.
Bingo! I thought and so I went and applied and well you know the rest.
Tomorrow is the first real step (albeit in a voluntary status) towards that goal I set myself as a child watching Commuters with a sense of horror.
I'm going to work with fish!
And funnily enough - I'm going to have to commute to do it!!!

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Just think in the course of this blog I've been indirectly and directly involved in the deaths of three people!
Starting to think I'm a bit unlucky!
4 if you count that my earlier attempt at one of these things, talked about how MH had recently lost her best friend in a motorbkike smash
Anyway! Onto happier things! If all goes well Friday will see my first tenative steps into getting a degree-related job with work at the aquarium beginning and then on Saturday after the football I'm going to meet Spinsterwitch!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

CL's Dad has just died, he suffered a massive brain haemorrage.
Its all brought the shock back and everything.
I've offered to go see her and go to the funeral, hard to sympathise when at least I had some prior knowledge and how I'm still missing him 3 months (on Friday) down the line.

All my happy thoughts about what I have to look forward too later this week have gone.

Monday, April 03, 2006

A girl, not much older than 14 walked in front of my bus today.
The driver screeched to a halt, and tooted his horn, understandably annoyed and alarmed at this maniac.
"What the fuck is your fucking problem?" She screamed.
"Watch where you're going!" The Driver yelled at her. "I nearly ran you down!"
She aimed a kick at the front of the bus with a ding, her chavvy mates giggled at her and she continued her line of abuse.
"Dont you fucking dare tell me to look where I'm going, you stupid cunt! Fuck you!"

Its the first day of the summer holidays and already the peaceful( ok maybe an exaggeration!) Woolwich High Street is swamped by kids screaming, drinking, fighting and stealing.
The Pirate Chinese DVD Sellers are out in force, the Special Constables who walk down the street are mysteriously vanished.
And I keep my head down and try to walk along the street without getting mugged or spat at or even noticed at all.

And dammit - I wont know till Tomorrow if I can get the time off for the Boro game and by the looks of things that will be too late.
Nearly 4,000 gone out of a 5,000 allocation on the first day.