Lalalalalalalala!

Iceland and Ireland, Iceland and Ireland!

Maybe I should be working my way through all the countries beginning with I this year!
Indonesia next on the list?
I went out over the weekend and bought a spare waterproof, I already had a pacamac one in fluorescent glow in the dark yellow! (My reasoning was that at least I'd be spotted lost on top of a mountain) but thought a spare one - with match trousers would come in handy, especially for the riding part of the holiday - there's not many layers you can fit under jodpurs!
They're in bright pink, purple and teal! I look fucking awesome, like the Michelin man, especially when I put all my layers on and very attractive too in my thick wooly tights and thermal vest and trousers. Like a right Granny!

I told this to Welshy when we met up to go to see Wrexham play Barnet on Saturday, he looked slightly puzzled at how anyone would willingly wear such a get up.
And then was frankly revolted when I pulled up my jeans to reveal my knee length garish rainbow socks.

I think that's where me and him differ, if I could pick a word to describe him it'd be "grey" he rarely wears light coloured clothes, where I love bright colours.
I threatened to get some purple onto him and he was horrified.
He's very serious and doesnt grasp my flights of fantasy, which makes me quite sad really.

I have discovered the bestest bar in the world!
Not only was my most favourite alcopop on buy one get one free, but It also sold Icecream!
Shame its about an hour away in Barnet though!

The Lurker has been banned from my shop following the Wild Yam incident and another involving red marker.
It makes me quite sad, all that time smiling at him and now he's banned.
He comes to the doorway and hovers now and if you look at him he walks off smiling.
A couple of times he crept in and I caught him on the way out, a triumphant smile on his face.
A couple of times I caught him in the entrance and I rather forcefully (well for me anyway!) tell him to leave.
Its sad, I feel bad.
Poor Lurker

Going to Iceland in two weeks!
yeeha!

Ooops!
Guess what!
My exams really on the 10th!
Still more time to do some revision I guess!

Incidently, today I cut all my hair off! It looks strange, I've had hair to my mid-back for about 7 years and now to see it all short and framing my face instead of being dragged back in its customary ponytail is freaky.
Still give it time to recover from its falling out through stress lark and then I plan all sorts of wacky ideas with hair dye for it!

I have my exam tomorrow!
90% or else!

A odd day of ups and downs today!
The Lurker returned 3 or 4 times, he popped his head round the door, with red marker on his face. I greeted him warmly, pretty convinced now he is a loonytoon!
Strangely hard when a woman came in and got into a discussion with another about beating cancer, is it wrong for me to resent the fact that she's going to be fine, although I don't want anyone to go down the road we have?
Manic, manic day with hardly any time to myself until!
The tills died a death!
Yes! We couldnt get them working at all! And in fact it turned out to affect the entire high street!
I got to go home early Huzzah!
And now I find that the place I applied for to do voluntary work doesnt want me.
Bastards

A fun day yesterday!
I took advantage of the reasonably nice weather to go and meet Welshy and we met at Greenwich Park to feed the squirrels and geese stale brasil nuts that I'd purloined (what a fab word! It needs to be used more often!) from work.
Afterwards we went and played on the swings in the playpark and he laughed at me as I attempted to slide through a kiddies tunnel and got stuck half way.
Afterwards we walked to Bermondsey (I dont know why we went there but that's where we ended up!) and rode the DLR back to Greenwich, where we decided to encamp in Weatherspoons and drink the place dry, having several drinks and a pitcher of cocktails each, feeling very decadent!
Only problem was that we subsequently missed both my last bus home and his last tube!
so being the gentlewomanly thoughtful person I am, proceeded to get my brother out of bed and come to Greenwich to pick me up, leaving Welshy to walk home!

A real oddball came into my shop today!
Not just a crazed customer but a real, ill in the head person
He's been popping in and out the last couple of weeks, I notice him, because he is an extremely tall black man, with the thickest beard ever and a long coat and funny hat, I think they call it a fedora?
Anyway, yesterday he was in our shop for a good 40 minutes walking up and down the pill-aisle and reading the odd label.
Woolwich, being that haven for shoplifters meant that his odd behaviour attracted me and I kept an eye on him, although what a 8 and a half stone 5'2" me is gonna do against a 6ft+ giant isnt really possible.
Today was atrocious weather, sleet and snow and rain all mixed intogether so hardly anyone was out and about so when he popped in it was noticeable, mainly by me trying hard to control my excitement - "whheeee a person! Whooo! someone to talk to! Someone to serve!"
Only the bastard didnt want any help so I retreated back to my Healthy magazine and occasionally scowled at him for not needing my assistance.
He popped in and out at least 4 times that morning, staying to read the odd bottle of pills and then wandering out.
I christened him "The Lurker" We started to acknowledge each other and smile, like old friends.
At 2pm he spoke to me.
"hello"
"Hi!"
I think my eagerness put him off cos he wandered off again but returned for his 6th visit of the day.
I was starting to get concerned. Was he ok? Was he shy about asking for something? Was he a homeless man looking for shelter from the weather? Or was he a little ill in the head?
At 3pm The Big Boss Lady spotted him trying on our Wild Yam Face Cream.
"I think its time you left now." She suggested.
He nodded and went out into the High Street with a face full of cream, leaving us with several open and spoiled pots.
Poor guy!

Wow!

Today is my 2 year Blog-versary.
And this monumentious occasion nearly went by apart from a trip over to Spazzymoto
And this was the start of my blogging career,
And just think how my life's changed since then, I left my housemates, came back to uni, made loads of new "real" and "internet" friends.
Graduated from uni.
Spent 11 months on the dole.
Got a slightly dull and boring job.
Watched Dad die. *sigh*
And now I'm preparing for the holidays I've always wanted, applying for volunteer positions to get some experience for the career I want.

Its amazing really when I look back at that and how I've changed since then!
And quite frankly amazing that I've actually managed to keep this thing going so long!

Home draw in the cup!
Bring it on!

In the quarter finals of the cup, lalalalala.

We're in the quarter finals of the cup!

Oooh. I'm unbelievably fucked off.
As you all know I've developed a decent friendship with Welshy, I'm fairly confident its a platonic friendship going both ways.
However The Sheep is not so sure, he frankly refuses to believe that I can have a friendship with ANY male.
I've known for a long time about his crush on me. Its the reason I stopped talking to him for a year after he tried it on a bit further than I was happy about and I swung at him with the saucepan that I had in my hands at the time.
Anyway, when I was in that final term at uni he was in some of my lectures and impressed me enough to think that he had grown up slightly and we both apologised for the shit way we'd behaved to each other.
Lately he has being acting like a cuntybollocker, dragging up incidents from the past like the tying up game and the way me and STF fool around and playflirt with each other, although that's just fun and means little to either of us.
Apparently it makes me a complete flirt and he's even tried to twist round so that I was the one coming on to HIM.
Which pisses me off slightly but I brush it all off.
Yesterday me and Welshy went to London, pootled around a bit and had a laugh, when I was telling The Sheep about my day out, he demanded to know if he was flirting with me, if I fancied him and then decided that I did.
And asked to speak to him on MSN, so I added Welshy to our conversation.
Welshy jokingly asked for sordid tales from my past and The Sheep launched into a variety of tall tales in which I came over like some sorta rancid whore and told a few things that I'd told him in private, such as the pictures I posed for GT and some of my well-lets just say activities I got up to with the BB.
I laughed it all off at the time but I've been hopping mad ever since waking this morning.
What on Earth could he gain from telling shit like that?
How fucking dare he tell secret and private tales that I have shared with him and some that haven't even made it on here?
So just wait till he shows up on MSN again, because my friends it will not be pretty.
I will not have him fucking up the few friendships I do have in this shitty city.

Fuck!

I have to pass a health food shop by the 1st of march, and I need 90% to pass it.
I'm currently taking refuge in alcohol and apple pie ben and jerrys

By law we're not allowed to sell our herbal druggy capsule things to pregnant women, through fear of miscarriages or birth defects.
It seems a perfectly reasonable thing to explain to people and I've not had any problems until today.
I had some rather crazy or hormonal lady come to me wanting Ginseng.
She was perhaps 7 or 8 months pregnant and seemed perfectly reasonable....

Until I explained that she couldn't take it and then she exploded into a magnificent mardy!
"Don't you dare tell me what I can and cannot take! I know my body! You do not! Don't you dare try and advise me"
On and on until I really felt she was going to twat me with her handbag.
So in the end I sold it to and then said a silent prayer that her baby will be born with a tail and three eyes.

Firstly:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!

Secondly, at the start of this year I promised myself that it wouldn't be as hellishly dull as last year.
This would be the year for all those adventures I had promised myself but through one thing or another I had not been able to complete.
And the first of these adventures has just been booked! Yay!

On the 17th of March me and E are jetting off to Iceland for three nights of Geothermal pool adventures in the famous Blue Lagoon.To a nature reserve and waterfall, If we don't see any Puffins I'll be most disappointed, plus a volcano/lava horse-riding tour, which has me very excited as the Icelandic ponies are famous for their unusual gaits, different from the normal walk, trot, canter and gallop!I've also sent off for a brochure about a caravanning holiday in May/June, not your usual caravanning holiday oh no!This is also horsey-related, yes, for a potential week we will be living in a horse-drawn carriage, trundling down Ireland's country lanes, living like Romany Gipsies, although without the poaching and the rest of it!Yaahoooo!

2 new Ben and Jerry Flavours!!!!

(yeah I am noticing a link between this posting about food - just wait till later this week!)

I have tasted the future people.
And the future is lime jaffa cakes.

*giggles quietly*

We beat the champions of Europe tonight!
(sorry you Americans, I'm talking football again!)
We were awesome! We played so much better than previous home games and that Spurs game on Sunday, at moments we were being outplayed by Liverpool but we did well and we deserved that win, rather than some of the last previous rubbish where we've been lucky to win!

I went to Pimlico today!
For shop training!
I got chatted up by a Brazilian, learnt how to say the grass is green in portugese, and how to flog of more health food crap.
Oooh and then we did roleplays and I got to be an awkward customer and then I ripped my one and only work shirt!
A fun, action packed day then!!!!

I had an accident.
A door that had stayed in the same place for 7 years suddenly decided to move half inch to the right today.
And tricked me by making me walk right into it.
Bastards.
And yet all I did was break a nail in the collision.
Strange, very strange.

I went to Spurs today! And then wished I hadn't! 3-1 and we were shocking!
And my seat was scary too! Way up at the top of a set of steep steps and a control box room obstructing my view of part of the ground.
The steward apologised for it!!
Still was a nice day out, will put a link up to the report of the game (though why you'd want to read it I don't know!) later.
And why did JT be stripped part way through the first half and yet wait hours to be put on?
Liverpool later this week Can't be good!!

Its been well documented, that my skills in the kitchen are less than adequate.
Somewhere here I blogged the day I blew up the microwave, I've set several things on fire and even burnt pasta.
Today I attempted to cook tea for Mum and The Brat. Only to drop all my potato waffles on the floor.
Still they ate them all without any complaint so I think I can count that as one of my successes!

Oooh.
Spending two hours washing shelves at work doesnt make a happy Saturday!
Especially when we rewind a few hours to Friday night.
~~~~~~~~ Flashback!~~~~~~~~~~

Me and Welshy, bouyed by the fact that we had succesfully met and not hated each other on sight, had made plans for another night out.
So we met in Wetherspoons in Greenwich and commenced anothe drinking marathon, several cocktails later we made our way out of Wetherspoons and started working our way through the motley collection of drinking establishments until we found ourselves in The Trafalgar.
"They do absenthe!"
"What's that?"
"Its a shot."
"Ooh I have no power at handling shots at all, nope, no way, I've learnt my lesson the hard way."
"Well you don't have to have one, I wasn't expecting you too. But next time you head to the bar can you get one."
I thought and considered and then decided to take his word as a challenge, one of those "You're a girl and therefore I don't expect you to be able to do this" sorta thing, and we all know I refuse to refuse a challenge so I brought an absenthe too.
I felt a little ill when approaching The Yacht so had sticky pudding, and then Welshy's apple crumble.
4 drinks later and I decided I was really ill and I should stop drinking and remember for the next time that shots are a bad idea and absenthe can go on my list of drinks never to drink again.

"I want this"
"Yeah look Agnus Castus, its here"
"That's not it."
"No it is, its just made by a different company."
"So its different."
"No! It has the same concentration of the herb, it contains the same amount of pills"
"But its different"
"Only the packaging is different!"
"So you are saying its different then, you clearly do not know what you are talking about young lady, I wish to speak to your manager"

So I decided during yesterday bore-all draw against Brom to stay at home and carry on saving, cos lets face it, I don't have much savings and to use them all on something which although it sounds very cool might not even lead to a job.
I also decided to possibly look into one or two short breaks during the month of March and definately look for a better paid, full time job to take up for the summer.
But where shall we go?
I've always fancied Iceland - home of Glaciers, Icelandic ponies with unusual movements, whales and puffins!
But during this time of year there won't be many birds, nor whales and it'll be dark 24/7 or so I believe due to its artic circle location (possible further investigation needed in this one!)
E fancies a trip to Ireland, which also appeals to me.
But what about you guys?
Say you are all in England and able to get away for a long weekend somewhere, where would you go?!?
Give me some ideas, either in this country or Europe!!

Arrgghh!

Choices!
Do I go away and live on my savings and try and gain some experience working either with badgers or collecting rock pool data unpaid for three months?
Or do I continue working in the shop and saving to go away?

Bugger me, what a decision

Oh dear..
Today me and Mum started cleaning out some of the random boxes that have remained unopened since we moved 7 years ago.
We found a box full of video tapes, many unlabelled so we began to view them to see what was worth keeping or not.
Once such tape was our holiday in Florida, when I was 5 and The Brat 3 and there was Dad, young, healthy and laughing and joking towards my Aunt and Uncle who did the filming.
So hard to see that and knowing what was to come and the way it would end up.
Few more memories now to go in that store and now we can hear and remember his voice before it got fucked by the drugs and went harsh and painfilled.

I have been having many, many problems with buses this week, that poxy 178 bus that I have waited over an hour for in freeezing conditions all this week (I'm sure its meant to be every 20 mins?) huddled into a little corner and watching not one, or even two or even three sail past me on the other end of the street to go round the corner at sainsburys only to return smiling smugly at me as a 291 or something equally stupid that I can't get on.
Today I came out of work weighed down with brazil nuts, mango and papaya and something rather imaginatively called breakfast sprinkle (if you think I'm bunging bird seed on my breakfast porridge then you are a fool!)
to find it snowing, after 5 minutes at the bus stop I decided "Fuck this" and rang home for someone to come rescue me, while waiting for our Rust-mobile to show up (complete with no heating) 2 178 buses sailed, mockingly past me and then back round again.
Bah.

So now I'm sitting and thinking about my options, now that I'm free.
Remember when it seemed like I'd never escape here again? And all those long, heart-searching posts about if coming home was the right thing?
I have options now and the most pressing of all is changing my job, don't get me wrong, although its not ideal, I like working in the shop, its a nice place with friendly people, but I genuinely dont care about if I get the sack or fail the exams and whatever, although I go in and work hard and try to learn whatever they go on about.
I'm thinking of trying for a seasonal position with E in the summer working at our local English Heritage site, she worked there last year and made a decent bit of money, its full time, pays better with lots of overtime which pays double.
Alright its not "zoology" but its better than the shop and its easy money.
And then I'm thinking of going away, just like I always planned, go to New Zealand in October and when I come home consider my options then, I've seen a uni course that appeals to me in Marine Biology and I could always try to get on that, or work towards a Masters or even go and look out of London for that Ideal Zoology job.
So I think my main goal now is seeing if there is enough positions for seasonal work when it comes up in a month or too and trying for that, that way it won't matter quitting it in a few months

I woke up feeling so sick today. Its bad enough that I've been battling a cold all week but I totally lost my voice this morning so gave my speech to my uncle G to read - He took it home with him, I'll reprint it here when I get it back.
Anyway, I got up and sat around for a bit, trying to joke with Mum who'd been up since 4am and allready thrown up with nerves.
Then around half eight people started to arrive, my cousin and Nanny and Granddad and then E and her family and then everyone - and people were in suits! Dad didnt want suits! I felt so over dressed in my best jeans and new trainers! Lol!
And then the hearse arrived, and Dad was in the coffin, but like you said Babs it was all so surreal and there was chaos trying to figure out who was getting in who's car and who's cab (Dad being an ex-london Cabbie, Mum wanted us to all go in them rather than funeral cars)
and we ended up with me Nan and Granddad in with us, which threw Mum rather but thats just how our family works - chaos always!
And then we followed the hearse and I couldn't look at it, instead I thought about how we'd sit at the top of Shooters Hill road in the Metro and he'd sing his daft songs.
At the crem, Mum started to get upset and so I linked arms with her and sat on one side and The Brat on the other and he completely broke down at the service and sobbed, where as Mum cried and then sang softly to some of the words to her song.
And my Dad was in that coffin and yet its so strange cos yes I get upset and I have tears prick my eyes (much like now) but I can't let them go, I can't cry and sob like they do and I haven't yet. (Isn't grief a funny thing?)
and (too many "Ands" in this post) then he went and it was hard to connect my Dad to the one in that box and he went behind the curtain and we sang "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life." Just as he had wanted which got some giggles which Dad would have liked.
Only the Bitch Sisters (His - the ones that helped kill Granddad - remember? And robbed him and Great-granddad blind and who Nan is too silly to see otherwise - oh and I have a huge lot of shit to write about that about that last confused, mentally ill month of his life)
commented about how "that wasn't Dad and how it was a daft song to play"
I'm glad I didn't hear it and those that did chose not to act on it or repeat it to Mum until later cos if either of us had heard they'd have got a gobful about how little then actually knew, cared or respected their brother and I'd have twatted them. (In fact I am seriously considering finding out what to do to grass them up for benefit fraud but thats different stories and I'm neither a grass or that petty)
The funeral director (lovely guy) suggested taking a rose out of the only wreath (ours) and drying it as a memento so I plucked the biggest and best one and popped it down my top with only the head showing (Dad would have found that funny - or he'd be attempting that dance [the tango - with the rose in your mouth] with it)
And we went to the pub, Mum and The Brat in control of themselves and we had a great time, Dad would have loved it, all his mates, friends and family (well the ones that actually cared and mattered there) and thats all that matters really, everyone got a chance to say goodbye to him and have a good time as well!

Wheeee! Did you see the Chelski game?! Yayness alround, a draw's pretty presentable and we're nearly top half of the table!

On to serious things now - It's Dad's funeral tomorrow, I said I'd write a speech for it and now I'm remembering my fear of talking in public and I'm struggling to find something worth talking about, I'm thinking of reworking the "I remember" piece I wrote the other day on here.
I hope it all goes alright, It seems unreal that Dad will be in that coffin tomorrow and I'll never see him again, never hear him laugh or joke and I miss him terribly.
I'm frightened too of not being able to deal with this last step.

Saturday's Whaley update.

He died, poor thing, I didn't hold out much hope for him after hearing that he'd beached himself as that's common for sick and dying whales and dolphin type creatures to do.
BTW Spins, The Thames is now one of the cleanest rivers in the country, and Whaley should have been ok living in it for a few days had he been well, although its not ideal and it would have got dehydrated. I wouldnt have held out much hope for something like a fish for every long though!

There is a whale in The Thames!
I missed it but if it turns back round to come downstream I'll be out looking for a picture!

*update* Poor whaley isn't well. There is also reports that there is another at Southend (near the start of the Thames).
Hopefully Whaley can be brought back to its buddy/family member safely and without the other swimming up the Thames to find it

Ok, so more details about Welshy, He's sweet in a kinda not-so-very welsh way.
He's short, not that much taller than me, perhaps 5'5? and very broad chested, he was sweet but there was no attraction there, same as there's been no internet flirting, I think he is just a very good friend the same as my Derby lads are.
Apparently I also spoke to TY'U that night too, not that I remember it and he says he's ok.
Sorry there's no more details to spill, but that's all there is, just a new friend and no romance at all.

So I went to meet Welshy!
He was quite sweet really, and we embarked on an epic drinking trip from 2pm to 11 when Greenwich went dead.
(Bah to this 24 hour drinking thing - and bah to the 386 bus which stops running at midnight!)
which kinda spoiled the end to the night as it was a rush to get to the bus stop and get him back on the DLR.
But it was good and we spent an enjoyable time arguing the merits (of which there is few - in my opinion) and disadvantages of Bryan Hughes (A fucking legend! he proclaimed!)
Anyway this is only short cos I need to zip off to work!

Not only do I have 5 extra hours at work (I'll be rich!) Tomorrow I'm meeting a random Internet Guy.
(Technically does Flash count as a R.I.G?)
Its from the same place as I met the TY'U. (Its a football forum, not a dating site.) and he's welsh, a year older than me, lives in Central London and I've been chatting to him for 5 months now on and off this forum and MSN, I hope it dont go as wrong as the TY'U and end up with a drunken kiss and then me all embarrassed.
I just realised I never filled you guys in on my adventures with TY'U.
He's mysteriously vanished off the face of the Earth! I don't even spot him at Charlton any more!
We spoke since May, nearly every night in some form or other, and then mid-November he just vanished, coming back only once on the forum to defend me when he thought I was getting bullied and to congratulate me on the job, I spoke to him briefly when I let him know Dad had kicked the bucket and that's that.
Tis sad but thats the way life goes I guess.
Oh and not too worry, all the sensible precations are happening incase Welshy turns out to be a balding 45 year old man from Reading.

All the idiots in the world came out today.

I had some woman kick off at me as her hair,skin and nails tonic hadn't worked.
Me: "Uh-huh, so how long have you been taking it?"
Her: "I took the first one yesterday."
Me: "Rrriiiight..."

Later a 14 stone, 18 year old chav bint came in with customary little out of control brat at her feet.
After the little cunt pulled all our flappy shelve display things off, she accosted me.
Her: "I want to see your diet things."
Me: "Ok, here."
Her: "These are no good!"
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Cos you need to be on a diet as well, I want ones that I can just take and carry on eating as normal."
Me: "Erm..."

AND THEN!!! Just before leaving I was called a silly bitch by some woman phoning up and complaining that i'd charged for for 7 items when she'd only brought 5, and somehow expected me to change it all straight away for her, after she'd finished shouting that this was appalling and I was stupid (she didnt even know that it was me who served her, or who I was) and then I finally got through to her that I couldnt do anything till she came down she said that she didnt want me to serve her on the till!
When it may not have even been me in the first place!

I know!
I've been such a bad blogger this week!
I've just not been in the mood to do it at all, I'm sorry.

So Monday was Dad's birthday and Mum wanted to go out for a meal to celebrate, so we hit the motorway (not her favourite place in the world) only for her to get jelly legs after a little while so we ended up in Bluewater eating KFC! Somehow I think Dad'd have found that funny, or he'd have moaned at our lack of adventureness!
Tuesday was a bit of a tough day, we went and organised a funeral, its booked for the 23rd (ages away! who'd have believed that a crematorium would be fully booked?)
It's gonna be fun, we're gonna have a huge party afterwards too in a pub near to where Mum works and there's gonna be over 50 of us there.
We organised songs too, Mum wants us to come into Endless Love which is "their" song apparently, and then First Time I Ever Saw Your Face, as she says the first time she saw my Dad falling out of a pub was the minute she knew he was the one for her.
And on a brighter note to cheer up that depressing and soppy lot we have one of my Dad's most favouritest songs ever to go down to.
Always Look on The Bright Side Of Life, which IS Dad.
And that's that, No flowers, only donations to the places and charities that have helped us, the volunteer drivers from the local hospital, Macmillian Nurses, and the Hospice.

And that's that. I've been overwhelmed by the cards and phonecalls that have come and your kind messages.
Thank you all.

Happy Birthday Daddy - Where ever you are!

I remember.

I remember endless games of silly buggers, spinning our trolley around in the supermarkets, play-fights and the faces that he pulled that so annoyed me cos it made me giggle no matter how annoyed I was.
I remember calling over his routes with him while he was learning the knowledge.
I remember him picking me up from uni while I filled him in on our latest adventures.
I remember weekends spent in the pub, and him coming home drunk once and watching us spin round in the garden and deciding to have a go while carrying our tea and falling over.
I remember coming home to see him with pink hair after an adventure with hair dye went wrong.
I remember evenings and days full of endless board games and being taught chess and draughts and then showing him how to play Spider Solitaire on the computer.
I remember watching Mary Poppins and Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang with him.
I remember how we used to prefer him taking us to school cos we’d get a fry-up instead of cereal.I remember him driving us to school, trying to annoy us by singing his dodgey old songs in funny accents.
I remember how he helped install a love of animals and nature, when he’d point out the different birds to me and how we’d watch them in the garden.
I remember looking over the fish with him, and helping to clean them out.
I remember helping him with our budgie that we had when we were very little.
I remember always enviously looking at ponds.
I remember him leading us with on the ponies.
I remember standing up by the kitchen door one night watching a lunar eclipse.
I remember him taking us on trips to the stables and standing there watching us.
I remember his childish excitement at Christmas and Birthdays and Easters.
I remember watching football either live or on the telly and discussing the latest results and their chances for the next couple of games.
I remember hearing his cab pull into our street and the rattling as it stopped, different to every other cab in the street.
I remember his pleasure in seeing me at uni and seeing me graduate.

And I remember the pain of the illness, when he’d nearly be in tears.
I remember the hallucinations.
I remember the stumbling.
I remember the losing of all pride and dignity.
I remember the operations and medications.
I remember the missing of breaths.
I remember the visiting of countless doctors and nurses.
I remember him trying to talk but not having the ability.
I remember him being scared.
I remember stroking your hair and everyone’s heartbreak.

I will remember.

I'm sorry to report that Dad died today at 3.30 in the afternoon.
It was very sudden and very peaceful.

We were called in at 7.20am after being told that he had worsened, He spent a great portion of the morning in a half-waking-half-sleeping state, he knew that we were there as he grew a bit more animated occasionally when hearing our voices and when we put Mary Poppins - his favourite film on for him.
Later they popped a catheter and a pump-drip type thing on him to give him a little morphine, and he went to sleep and there he pretty much stayed until the end.
When the end came he was with my Mum, the Minster we want to take the service and the builder who built the loft, Mum noticed that his breathing was growing erratic, but he'd been skipping the odd breath since we took him in and called the doc who said that he was going, by the time the nurse and builder and minster had walked down the short corridor to get me he had gone.
I sat with Mum and stroked his hair for a little while and said my goodbyes and we waited for my brother to come (he's decided to go to work for 3pm)
He's at peace now, and like I said, he knew we were about and he wasn't alone and he wasn't in any pain or scared any more.
















Dad in November at OF's fireworks party.

9/1/59 - 6/1/06

RIP.

After another awful night Dad has been taken into the hospice. I doubt he'll be coming out again.
Obviously I'll be taking a break from all this blogging and internetty marlarky for a while.
I'll try and keep you guys updated though if I get a chance but I don't think it'll be long now.

So here's a highlight of last night's adventures and a recap of my day so far!

Went to bed in the parents room as requested at 11pm.
11.10 discover that the bed is hard.
12.20. discover that its too hot too sleep up there, so find a fleece to sleep in.
12.35. come to the conclusion that the reason I've not slept yet is because Dad snores too loud, stare at ceiling.
2am. Spent an hour listening to Dad telling us about how he needed trousers for his report but the man kept stealing the too tight ones and he needed a fiver and didnt have a fiver but then some nice man lent him a tenner and now I had to help him write a 999 line report on his trousers, Mum finally gets him back to sleep.
4am. Woken if that's the right word when you've not slept by him telling us he was in the deep end of the pool and was drowning, Mum talked him out of getting his brother and got him up and put Mary Poppins on for him.
5am - He asks for a cup of tea, takes the opportunity of Mum being away to demand that I let him call his brother or our friend down the street, I refuse and he grabs my pj tshirt and threatens to kick my head in, which is funny when you consider that he cant even hold the tv remote so dunno what he thought he was gonna do.
by 6am, Mum had calmed him back down and he decided he was going to have a shower.
I disappear downstairs to my room and curl up and try to sleep.
7am, woken by The Brat getting up and ready to work - He slept through this, I hate him!
9.10am, arrive at work.
Work till 4pm, get home by 4.20, listen to the last of the football.
5.11pm. sleep!
7pm woken by Dad going to bed, he asks me to keep him company so I do so, and I listen while he tells me about how he's been on the roof (clearly some attic-building flashback there) and then that Mum's reported him disappeared (in his own words) and how he needed to ring the police station to let them know that he wasn't disappeared. (I think this was due to the bit in Mary Poppins where the Dad goes to report the kids missing and then the policeman brings them back as thats what we were watching at the time).
He asks me to pause the DVD, and then the telly, which puzzled over when he insisted I could, merely put it on standby, he then got quite excited about my electronic-pausing activities and asked me to put the radio on and pause that.
Phew! I'm knackered and have much respect for My Mum who puts up with this night after night.

The descent into madness here continues where it left off in the Last Year.
Dad working on the theory that being awake means you won't die has renounced sleep, unfortunately this means everyone else around him needs to be awake.
Poor Mum!
He stayed awake all night and then at half 7 decided that he didnt want to be in bed any more and somehow managed to ring his brother to come and get him (bearing in mind that the guy can scarcely lift a teaspoon)
He then demanded to be picked up now so he could go see Nan and wish her happy New Year.
So off he toddled with me and Mum wondering if he'd come back in the same bad mood he did on Xmas day.
When he came back, he was silent for a few minutes before bursting into tears.
When questioned on what was wrong he declaired dramatically.
"Its you! You're gonna hit and hurt me cos I keep getting you up!"
Naturally Mother was rather puzzled by this sudden outburst and gradually coaxed him up the stairs for a sleep on my bed, which he did for two hours or so.
When he woke The Brat tried to help him down the stairs, but his legs gave way and luckily The Brat caught him.
He also decided that I needed to sleep in the same room as them tonight "Cos she wont hurt me if you're about."
What could I do but agree?
Later on that day I was upstairs with The Brat and Mum was cooking tea when we heard a crash and then Mum Screaming for The Brat.
Some how he'd managed to get up and go into the backroom before collapsing.
Mum, being the person who is trying to get him to sleep reasonably and to not hassle unsuspecting people at random times of the night is now his most hated enemy, and I am his most favourite person in the entire world.
He kept trying to get me to either take him out in the wheelchair (which I wasn't doing on account of tipping him out) or upstairs so he could bitch about Mother in private.
Its amusing me and it was quite cute to see him tap the side of the settee next to me and give me a pleading look so Mum wouldn't sit next to him!
I managed to talk him into playing a simple game with me where his mind kept wandering off into flights of fantasy.
"where's Wammie?!" He demanded suddenly.
"Huh?"
"Wammie!" He said impatiently. "Wammie! (his brother's Staff terrier)"
"He aint here." I pointed out.
"I know that, but where is he?"
"At your brothers house?"
"Huh."
I've just been up there now to clear the super-smart hospital bed so I can sleep on it and he turned to me.
"I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Her!"
"Well that's why I'm staying here, I gotta get up early for work tomorrow, so you better sleep."
Ooops!
He turned on Mum now.
"Thats why you want her here! So you can tell me to be quiet cos of [insert real name] just so you can sleep!"
I left her too it and ran away.
The poor fuckers really scared, not only of her, but of his suddenly untrustworthy legs and the inevitable which is looking very close at the moment and he must see that too.

so its time for Charby's end of year awards and review!
*Trumpets and drumroll*

Well, its mostly been a year to forget in this household, what with Dad's will he/won't he saga.
It started fairly brightly enough with the graduation, chance of a job working with fish and more driving tests but the first of what would be many, many rejections arrived and I decided to stop the driving till the New Year and life drifted into a dull routine of daytime telly and occasional trips to the job centre.
I also lessened my blogging activities, mainly due to the fact I had nothing to write about other than the day to day tales of the characters from Neighbours!
There was a few highlights mainly the adventure of meeting a real life Blogger in the lovely Flash, and a mild flirtation with the TY'U, who once he got over the shock of realising that I was female, proved to be a good fun person.
But surely the main event of 2005 had to have come recently in the arrival of my job! Wahey!
And now onto my awards!!!

Sporting Achievement of the year? Well there was the relegation of Palace, the Ashes win, but my moment of the year had to be the shock win at Chelsea, if only we'd been able to carry it on to not lose by 3 goals in 15 minutes against Blackburn!

Disappointment of the year? The fish job rejection, not only would I have been loaded it'd have been a quality job to do.

Person of the year? In "real life" it has to be E, survivior of many a daytime pub crawl, fellow adventurer on away game travels and all round top person.
In "Virtual land" It has to be you guys, you've participated in my little games of winning the prizes after reaching certain "landmarks", you've been here to listen, to give little words of sympathy and comfort and a giggle when things haven't looked too bright and you're all spiffing people! (and one day I may get round to adding Alecya and her plastic castle to my blog list!)

Now I'm glad the formalities are over and done, its time for me to sit around and wait for this god-awful year to go!

So how was your xmases?

Mines been a bit interesting and with the help of an email from Spins I decided to come and tell you all about it and let you know that I'm not dead, although the cold might be killing me off slowly!!
On my last post on the Friday before xmas I said about Dad going into hospital and the very bad atmosphere around here.
Dad continued to remain very bad tempered and had several rows with Mum about how she was "stopping him see his family" and "coming between him and his brother" which Mum would never ever do, none of us would do considering the way we feel about them!
After Mum did her storming out the hospital on the Friday act. Dad was also slightly confused about matters, as he begged the nurses not to let him out of the hospital claiming that Mum would beat him!
So Xmas eve I was very glad to shoot off to work for a couple of hours to avoid the atmosphere, which was very strained and icy.
Xmas day (which is a day that always, always depresses me) came and Mum wanted a lot of pictures of us, seeing as its more than obvious that this is Dad's last xmas, but The Brat hates having his photo taken, and pulled faces at the camera and stuck his finger up, (he too was in a mood over not being a big fan of xmas and likes to let all of us know that he hates the day.)
So Dad called him a "rude, inconsiderate, arrogant bastard as this was his last xmas" So The Brat stormed off upstairs and remained there as much as possible over the day.
I was angry at The Brat for not understanding and not putting aside his selfishness for one day and told him so and got told to fuck off for it, so I wasn't happy with him either!
So there was already two rows and an even worse atmosphere in the house and all this before presents got opened!
Then my Dad's brother came to collect Dad to take him to his mother to see his sisters as he volunteered and Mum gratefully accepted, still determined to have nothing to do with them and their hyprocisty (sp?)
After all, we all know that they only want Dad to say sorry to them for no reason that he needs to and they wont make the move to apologise for the way they've treated him over the last 4 years!
Anyway, that's all over and done with now and the next time I expect we'll ever hear from them is the funeral and then they'll never bother to get in touch again.
Dad came back from there in the foulest mood possible and I still don't know what went on there and we went off to Nanny and Granddad's (My Mother's family)
Dad was really tired there and his tiredness made him come out with some really rude comments which luckily I don't think anyone took any notice off.
Came home and he demanded to go out, I've said before how awkward I find that as I'm not always strong enough to pull the wheelchair out of ruts and I've said it to The Brat, but do you think he volunteered to go out? Course he didn't he went upstairs and played his video games.
Sometimes he makes me so mad, I spend a lot of time running about after Dad as well as helping Mum with the housework and going to work himself, Brat will only do something if asked directly and if there's someone else to do it he'll get them to do it.
Anyway Mum reckons its cos he cant deal with being around Dad and his illness, I maintain that its sheer fucking laziness as I have a lifetime of covering up for him and doing his household chores in an effort to keep the peace.
Came back from Dad's work and Mum had already hit the happy juice while cooking the turkey and we finally got round to unwrapping presents, there was very little festive cheer in the day and as soon as it was over I bolted upstairs to play online for a bit and to watch telly to be away from that atmosphere.
Everyone went to bed at 8 and I sat up drinking myself stupid in an effort to forget such an awful day.

HAPPY XMAS PEOPLE!

"So this is Christmas and what have you done?"

Arrgh! I fucking hate that song, its so depressing to remind me that I've done sod-all this year!

So here we go! The last couple of days Dad has been in hospital with another blood transfusion, they reckon he's suffering from slight jaundice which is possibly a sign that his livers packing up.
*sighs*

And the pair of them have spent the last couple of days in rows or tears, which isn't leading to a happy household!
Dad has decided he needs his family, which is fair enough really, except Mum can't forgive them for treating us like strangers, for helping to kill Granddad *Disclaimer, this is her opinion, not truth*
For ignoring us for the previous four- five years that Dad has been ill and this last year that we've known he's on the way out.
And now Dad wants to be friends with them and they dont want to feel guilty, except we all know that they won't do anything to help, not to provide help like Mum's family have done, to give time and a ear to listen too, they want to feel good about themselves and once he dies we will never hear from them again.
Mum refuses to be even in the same room as them, she feels it will be hypocritical to pretend to be friendly with them and we all know what she's like when her minds made up!
She's already pissed cos G gave Dad's hospital number to his Mum and she gave it too all his sisters who then rang all hours of the night he was in hospital, which pissed Mothership off cos he's supposed to be resting.
And when she came round and found R there she stormed out, which upset Dad.
So its been a fun household here!
Plus I have to work Xmas Eve (Grr!) and I've been asked to write a small speech for the funeral, cheery stuff for Xmas huh?

Never Mind!

HAVE A GREAT XMAS WHEREEVER YOU ARE AND WHAT EVER YOU DO!

Today was a totally different day from Monday!
Firstly its delivery day! Which means its busy, busy all day what with unpacking and restocking the shelves and chucking away the out of date stuff along with serving the public.
I was halfway through my 5 hour shift and starting to look forward to the idea of going home when a rabble of noisy voices drifted my way and five or six elderly gentlemen strolled into the shop, some of them had santa hats on and one had a strand of tinsel round his neck like a scarf.
They stopped by my taster display of crystallised ginger and eyed it suspiciously.
Finally egged on by Tinsel, one of the Santa-hats tried a piece.
"Ooh." He proclaimed. Obviously a good sign as they all then tried a piece and wandered over to me.
"Where's your Viagra hidden luvvy?"
Of cource I went into hysterical giggling, which further encouraged Tinsel who had by now discovered the kick to the ginger and was pulling some rather interesting faces, talking loudly about their viagra they trotted off to the dried fruit aisle and then returned with some packs of fruit,
I was looking for the aromatheraphy oils that have to be hidden behind the till and Tinsel asked if thats where his viagra was hidden and then told me he and his little gang were off to the pub with their fruit and nuts.
"Cos its Christmas sweetheart, and if you cant get pissed on Christmas then you might as well be dead."
One of the Santa-hats then invited me along to join them and as they made their way out of the shop Tinsel Said out loud.
"I think we've pulled there lads!"
What great people! They've left me with a smile on my face all day and then when I got home I found my Christmas card from Spins!
Thank you!!!!!!!!!

The Radio crackles into life!

"Oh my god!" An excitable and panicky sounding young man's voice comes over. "We need assistance urgantly in [insert shop name]. We have about 14 kids in here just ransacking the place."
Silence. Followed by a garbled message about how the police are on their way.
"Has anyone got too [Insert name of my heath food shop] yet? There was a report of a disturbance there?"
"This is [insert name of E's shop]. This is the security guard. We dealt with the situation."

A little later that day.
"Holy crap they've got a Quad bike of all things, please can someone call 999?"
They were right you know, a few minutes later I saw 5 kids riding the powerful machine down the middle of the street, terrorising the little old Grannies doing their Xmas Shopping.

Welcome to Woolwich when the schools are out!
Woolwich, I remember being slightly ok, a little shabby but with decent stores, as I grew older to go to their on my own with OF, it was starting to go downhill, with many poundshops opening.
Nowadays its probably 90% full of Poundshops with a few clothes shops, mostly doing the buy 5 for £2.99 kinda deal, a few other shops, the first Macdonalds in the country, as it proudly advertises, my shop and E's shop.
At the far end is the Lesiure Centre where The Brat works and at the other end is a fading market that has been there since a charter granted by James I in the 17th Century as the banner says.
Its full of chinese people selling dodgey pirated DVDs and many other not very nice people.
The kinda place where at night, you hide all sign of phones or wallets and walk briskly hoping not to be noticed.

Today was the First day of the Christmas holidays and was bustling mainly with kids, laughing and larking about.
Until a middle-aged Sikh or Hindu man came into our shop followed by 7 little shits declearing.
"We're gonna knife you man."
The Big Boss Lady exclaimed to me. "They've got a broken bottle" and rushed to confront them.
I'm still not sure about why they'd started on him, but from what I could make out he had brought a dodgey DVD from the Chinese who had laughed at him when he'd come back complaining that it was shit when the kids started picking on him.
They followed him down the road, barging him and calling abuse until he came into our shop, we chased the kids out who stood outside the shop laughing at him and then telling him that as soon as he came out they were gonna kill him.
E went round to get her security guard and some of the kids started making runs into our shop, stealing packets of dried fruit and running out with them.
Another came in and stood at the doorway refusing to move and called his mates in, as the security guard came they all came rushing into the shop brandishing the broken bottle, we slammed the door shut and tried to hold it shut as they kicked at it, yanked the handle and the three kids already in the shop tried to push us out of the way and yank the door open, there was too many for just four of us to deal with and we had to let them go out.
The kids hung around for a bit and then made their way down towards the other shop and then decided to trash the place.

Nice place Woolwich! Really looking forward to the next few kid-full weeks!

I've just been to see Chronicles of Narnia!
(Why isn't there a nice bus that runs from my house to the Cinema in Greenwich? I have to go right out of my way to go to Woolwich to come back again!)
I loved the books as children, and who else had to watch the tv series in school with the moth-eaten Aslan? And if I remember rightly, the leader of the Wolf Police, walked on hind legs?
I wonder if this means they are planning on doing the series with the rest of the books?
Why didn't they start with The Magican's Nephew which is the first in the series?
Best bit I think though was the little girl a few rows along who was absolutely entranced by the film and at the moment when Aslan is seemingly dead on the stone table, leapt to her feet urging him to get up and was clapping and laughing at all of it.
Remember when you were that excited by a trip to the cinema?

Anyone else faced with having a sibling that everyone remembers but don't know you?
A lot of people make the mistake that my brother is an only child, especially the new people that have been met while I was at uni which is kinda fair enough I guess.
When I was in primary school, I existed for several years with only the teachers that had taught me knowing who I am.
When my brother made the move from his special needs school to mine it took him three short months to be known by everyone.
Teachers, cleaners, pupils and parents.
Those who were in his class and had day to day contact with him, to those in the infants school, who were separate from the juniors, everyone knew my brother.
I suppose a lot can be put down to his problems, so thats why the staff knew him.
But its not great when people turn and realise suddenly that I was there too.
Today in Sainsburys we met a girl that I had known very well in Primary, and her parents were friends with mine.
Their first comment was "Oh you're The Brat's Mum!"
Then a catch up with Dad and all his problems and all the while I packed Mum bags and then paid for her, while the talk turned back to The Brat and how he was.
They talked about the girl that I had been friends with and Mum made the comment that she was about the same age as me.
"Oh you had another child? Oh yes, she was younger than The Brat? She must have came into the school when we left?"
"No she's 22, older and standing here."
"Oh yes, so The Brat's working in Woolwich?"

Fucking hell! Am I really that forgettable? And am I really petty to still be frustrated and annoyed by people assuming that The Brat is the only child?

I've got all my Xmas shopping done!! Wahoo! *Does victory dance around the coffee table*

I took Dad down to the standard today, its exhausting pushing that wheelchair down to there! All the roads are uneven and you really have to make an effort not to let him go careering off into the road!
You can't even go in a straight line cos you have to avoid the bumps so it takes twice as long as it should to walk down there.
I'm not too sure he'll be that keen to let me take him out again, as I refused to move out of the way of people standing in my way and if they didnt hear me when I asked them to move I drove straight at them. Idiots.
The slopes going down into the road are a pain in the arse too, the ones by the Royal Oak especially, they're surprisingly steep and then rise again really sharply which makes it hard to push along the road as I got caught in the rut, twice I nearly tipped him out, so I'm not sure he'll let me take him out again!

So now that I now have a full weeks' work behind me. (Off now till Monday! - Wahhoo!)
What do I think of it?
Its nice enough, I think I've mastered the till, although I spent little time on it today, I proudly demonstrated twice how to ring up reduced prices, and got in and out of the staff-only area with no difficulties.
Wednesday seems to be the busiest day out of the three so far as its delivery day, with hundreds of dairy-free milk cartons coming in, packets of fruit and nuts and pills! Oh its a druggies paradise is they got hold of those crates!
I had to be up at 7 - while it was still dark! Its been ages since that's happened!
I liked that as I was busy all day, where as the other two days have involved a huge portion of just standing around and the time drags, however the other two ladies have been really nice and chatty which makes it a bit easier.
I'm learning to trust the till a bit too, I still panic when I look at how much change I need to give out as it seems wrong and I should be giving more and today we ran out of nearly all the change which nearly made my brain shut down in sheer terror as I tried frantically to work how to get 98p's worth of change with only 10's and 5p's.
I do like it though, its the kind of thing I could do happily for a while without getting too bored with it, or being too flustered and rushed of my feet.

Today I learnt the following important lessons.

1 - Where the Sugar-free jams and chocolates are kept.
2 - How to do reduced pricing on the till - hardly any mistakes today! I'm getting better!
3 - The code to get access to the staff only bit.
4 - Possibly the most important part - how to get the clock up on the till, telling me how much longer until I get to go home.

Baby steps people, baby steps!

Working on a till is fairly scary stuff.
Not only do they have an enter key in the wrong place, so that when I press what is enter on a standard keyboard I get it wrong.
But I think I've got the hang of it, as long as I don't make a mistake - which has been fairly often - cos then I don't know how to fix it!
Customers appear to be strange people too, Woolwich has a lot of immigrant people living in it which terrifies me especially those with poor english or strong accents!
They also get huffy when they ask for something and I have to explain that I don't know how to do it, or where to find stuff yet.
And then throw a strop when you ask them for the correct change after trying to pay with a £20 note for something that costs £1.99, when you dont have enough change in the till, but they have the right money anyway. Bastard Cunts.
Anyway, I have to go back tomorrow so we'll see how that goes!!
I also got to see some of the nicer side of Woolwich after a guy came bursting out of M&S with packets of mince pies under his coat with a shop lady in hot pursuit, more braver than I'd be I think!

First day at work tomorrow!

I'm pissing shitting myself! Its like the first day at school, only worse!!

A particularly shit day (why does rejection, no matter what the form, always hurt so much?) brightened up momentarily as I escaped home to toddle down to The Valley.
I wasn't expecting a thriller or too much, Sunderland's losing streak is only a bit worse than ours and I was discussing the chances of them ending their losing streak against us - Come on you all thought it too!
Not too sure on the tatics of removing what I thought to be our best players on the day with Hughes and Bartlett though!
Still a win's a win and it's always nice to see Super Clive!
Full report here!
And another goal for Bent!

I forgot to add the little comment that the Job Centre lady said to me as I left today.

The thing with me is that I'm a terrible giggler, I giggle at everything happy or sad, especially if I get nervous and if I'm angry it only takes a little funny face to get me giggling, which isn't always a good thing, as it doesnt show how angry I am and prevents me from making quick comebacks.

Anyway, I was talking to the Job Centre Lady and she were talking about the carer's allowance and then I was telling her about the job and she asked me if I'd ever worked in a shop before and I shook my head.
"Wow" She remarked. "They must have been desperate to take you on."

Fucking Bitch!

Today I went to the job centre for hopefully the last ever time!
Last time for sitting in that queue, full of other spongers! Yippie!
Instead of being stingy about the money that they give out they were practically begging me to take it! Mad aint it?!
Anyway, they paid for me to have a new pair of trousers for work and then tried to give me money for bus fares.
And then a cheque for £25.
I am no longer offically Dole Scum!

So my news?

I am now employed for the Christmas period and possibly beyond (If I suit) in [insert name of Well Known High-Street Heath Food Place here]!
So not even related in the faintest to my degree and its only 15 hours a week so crappy wages but still!
I am no longer a scrounging scumbag!
I go for training on Monday, which is scaring the shit out of me, in case I can't learn to manage the till or to push the herbal things on to people, and I have tests to do to learn what they all do!
See! It's a shit thing but I'm very excited!
Plus the woman knows all about Dad so thats all a bonus and being only 15 hours a week means I still get to spend lots of time at home helping Mum to care for him.
Yahoo!

Spins I've been getting "You're shit" vibes from everyone as long as I can remember but never mind.
I went out Xmas shopping with me Nanny today (the alzhiemers one) She held up a pair of size 16 trousers.
"Oooh [insert real name] These should just fit you, they might be a bit tight."
Suspicious by the size of them I look at them closer.
"Nanny! They're size 16!! I'm size 8! They're massive! I could fit into one trouserleg!"

Talk about an ego boost!

*Claps hands and bounces*
I CANT wait to tell you guys my news.
But we gotta wait and be patient and as always my lack of "go-me" vibes is pulling me down, I'm gonna fuck this up, I know I am. It might be a simple thing but my God I'm having panic attacks about it already. I'm not gonna be able to cope, I know I'm not and I'm gonna get laughed and and hassled and shate apon.
I wish I wasn't doing this, and you're all gonna laugh when you see what it is I'm getting all worked up and scared about.
I wish I had more get up and go about me and was able to ignore the "you're shit" vibes that everyone gives to me always.
Shitty hell!!! Hurry up with the end of the week already!

Considering all that's been in the papers locally about safety at level crossings, lets have a round of applause for the couple, who having noted that the gates were down at the crossing at Charlton with the warning bells going, STILL decided to walk - not run - across the track and not bother going across the bridge and the instant they had crossed safely to the other side a train shot by heading towards Woolwich.

If you've come this way to read my review (And I don't know why you would) of today's game and read about how we snatched defeat from the jaws of... erm... defeat.
You'd be best going elsewhere, cos I'm gonna pretend that us losing 5-2 never happened.
And if any of you dare to question exactly how many games we've lost in a row now, I'm gonna hunt you down and batter you to death with a wet lettuce leaf.
Incidently Weenie, did you notice Darren Bent has started scoring now you've transferred him out your dream team?
And we got Wednesday away in the FA cup! MH was very overexcited and after I told the Brat that A had a box there, he's excited too about us sitting in the box, when I haven't even asked him!

Ahem, moving on now, is it good news that comes in threes or bad?
Cos by the end of this week coming up, I hope to be able to tell you Good News #2 (remembering that Dad's arm getting better is #1.)

.......... No I've still not managed to explain how a team can be 2-0 up and coasting and then in the last 15 minutes throw it away to lose 2-3.

Not sitting in the very back of the Upper North again though! Far too high and scary!

Ohh there was a bit of excitement in Woolwich yesterday as I made my way down to sign on. They were filming! Yes! In Woolwich if you can believe it! Something called "Children of Man".
They'd built a Shanty Town and had torched a car, although it was hard to tell what bit was the filming and what bit is "normal" Woolwich!

And Good news! Remember the last time there was good news? Me neither! But lookie right here and there is!

Dad's arms, had stopped working, one was due to the cancer killing the nerves that made it work, the other just mysteriously stopped and they couldnt even put it down to the cancer, but it stopped completely, and we've been feeding and drinking him, and Mother has been doing some of the more unpleasant tasks.

But this week, the right arm, the one that mysteriously stopped has started working again! Only slightly, though, he can grasp things, and lift very light things, like a tissue to wipe his nose.
He's now developed to such a point where he can eat biscuits on his own and almost a whole packet of crisps (the not eating thing is another story, they're trying to stabilise his weight at 7 stone)
But from not being able to move or grasp anything, this is a massive improvement. Ok he misses what he's aiming for 7 times out of 10 but still!!!

I went to the "classic" between Villa and Charlton today, all the way up to Brummieland being taunted by some Spurs fans, actually they were alright apart from a bit of teasing.
Met The Sheep at Brum station and he instantly terrified E by hugging her, then meeting STF, who snuck up behind me just as I was complaining that I was late and poking me in the ribs and then spinning me round in a hug before telling me off for losing weight, being the super-organised person he was, he didnt have a coat.
So we went shopping for him, bear in mind, that I had three layers on under my thick winter coat. So God only knows what he was thinking!
The usual antics ensued, the mocking of the Mighty 'dicks as he calls us, his joy at discovering "Charlton Two" (E - I'm known only to that group as Charlton, as I'm the only Charlton fan they know)
The bullying of me, which resulted in me slapping STF and then accidently (Of course! hehehe) poking him in the eye.
The game itself was crap, we were rubbish, the atmosphere was awful, so we wont dwell on that any more than possible!I wanted Romm! Fucking hell even Chrissy Powell was out running the Villa defence and he's 90 and using a zimmer frame!
Back To Brum, where STF tried to convince us to come back to Derby, before sending us on our way with lots of hugs.
I'd also like to take my chance to express my hate towards Muriel, the dippy bint who realised as we left Milton Keynes station, that she wanted to get off there and then pulled the emergancy alarm and then tried to hit the train bloke who tried to explain that the train couldnt go in reverse.

Happy Thanksgiving to you American readers!

STF" You're going to Villa at the weekend?"
Me" Uh-huh, Can't wait, The Sheeps coming along too, he's never been to a match before so we're bound to lose."
STF" You hopping across to see us after?"
Me"Sorry"

Next day.

STF" Right if you're not coming to see me, I'm coming to see you. I've got tickets to sit in the Villa end, what time are you getting into Brum?"
Me" What?!"

How odd! The Idea of E meeting The Sheep was strange enough, now she's gonna have to cope with meeting STF as well! Talk about two worlds colliding!

In other news, guess who's gonna go see Harry Potter again this weekend?!

Oh Dear....

"Charlton are to attempt to ban Manchester United fans from The Valley after a female member of staff was sexually assaulted and a steward was injured when trouble erupted for the third time in four seasons during Saturday's 3-1 defeat.
A male United fan was arrested and charged with sexual assault on Saturday afternoon, and spent the weekend in police custody - one of six away fans arrested.
The female member of staff had been helping disabled fans in the away end and was in the area to the rear of the stand when the assault occurred"

The Prawn Sandwich Brigade have caused a bit of trouble in the last few seasons, they keep breaking the gates at the bottom of the stand, I saw and RVN didnt help when he went leaping over there to celebrate with the travelling fans, even though you're not supposed to and a couple of fans leapt over the barrier and ran to him and all the others crushed forwards to get to him.

Full Story here

HARRY POTTER FUCKING ROCKS!
Its my favourite one so far, it was a very simplified version of the book, but better than 1 and 2 which I didnt really rate.
More than makes up for the debacle at the football.
I saw those Man U bastards break the gate again!

Actually you know what I hate most about football? The Weather! For the first two home games I'm dying of sunstroke and then the next two, its alright to go in just shirt and maybe thin fleecy but then its fucking freezing all the way through till March at least.
I dont mind cold weather as long as I'm wrapped up warm and somehow, the only part of me that seems to suffer from the cold is my knees.
And they suffer for ages after the rest of me warms back up when I get home, even now they are still aching from the cold! I hope this isnt an indication of me suffering for the rest of the season!

Charlton V Man U today! Very exciting stuff!
Plus later tonight I'm going to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire! I can't wait! So excited!!

There was a riot in my school when I was 15.
It never (to the best of my knowledge) made the news or even reported in the local papers.
Enough people that I have told this story too have looked at me with a more than healthy look of disbelief and its fair enough, its a wonder that no one actually got hurt.
I started to doubt what happened too! And wondered if it was one of those fantastic dreams that you are not sure looking back if they are real or fake.

My school was pretty ordinary, I've spoken before about how much I hated it and was hated by pretty much everyone in there.
But in my GCSE years I found a small group of friends and was kinda happy to go into school.

My school was heavily in debt and as far as I can recall (remember that I'm going back 7 years here!) they decided that the best way to save some money was to get rid off all the teachers that had been there years and were actually established and respected and replaced with cheaper ones fresh out of uni and ready to start a lifetime of being took advantage of and mocked.
Of course there may have been other reasons why these teachers were chucked and a lot of crap ones kept.
A lot of kids and other people were up in arms about this. Me? I couldn't care less.
Anyway, one day a Thursday I remember cos I had drama, history and then PSRE.
A girl. T. popped her head through our door just before the pips went to send us off to the first lesson of the day.
"We're on strike."
Wahoo!
To be fair this was a false start, a few wandered round the corridors aimlessly, I had a brief discussion with GT and the other lads I was hanging with at the time and we made our way slowly to our first lessons, many kids where missing and many turned up late. Our drama teacher couldn't really care less I guess and there was rumours of things being planned in the school library.
The second lesson. History passed in the boring dull way it always did and then we had break and then all hell broke loose.
PSRE was a deadly dull compulsary subject even though we didnt have to take the GCSE if we didnt want to, in which we were supposed to learn about being tolerant to disabled people, religious types, etc, to avoid taking drugs and how to put condoms on bizarre white things that even now I can't describe and we watched Priest which gained legendary status in our school by having gay sex scenes, although our teacher refused to let us watch that part so I can't really comment if it was just a gay kiss or something that had been blown up out of all proportion.
Anyway I took this class with A and we spent most of our time playing noughts and crosses and writing letters to his girlfriend.
He was always trying to encourage me to bunk off and go hang out in the caff at the park, but I being the goody-goody that I was always refused convinced I'd get caught.
There were several cries of Strike! and this time no one went to classes.
Instead there was a mass rush to the main hall, where we made our way to stand aimlessly, I saw E's sister there and said hello and they were as puzzled as us.
Our Head of house came in then and bellowed at us to get back to classes and from then on it was pandemonium and everyone for themselves, running down one corridor, only to find a teacher there and then doubling back on themselves, crowding and crushing.
Forty or fifty kids running one way and then back the way they came and I was seriously worried for the safety of the little first years.
Running up and down staircases, yelling and shouting. I became seperated from all my friends and the only thing to do, to prevent ourselves from being crushed as I was caught in the crowd was to go with it, just running one way along the library corridor, towards the main staircase, only to find a big burly teacher there and then getting jostled and shoved and running backwards at one point until I could turn around and go with the crowd.
For nearly an hour 2,000 pupils ran riot over the school, yelling, shouting, running back and forth, hearing rumours that we should go one place, only to find a teacher there and to turn and dart back the way we came, and I found myself in the corridor where I normally had PSRE looking aimlessly for my Brat or a friend to figure out what my next action would be as all I wanted to do, was avoid getting caught, either by a teacher or by the crowd again.
I saw the crowd head one way, and then turn and run again, like a stampeding herd, followed grimly by a few dedicated teachers.
I was then caught by my PSRE teacher and herded into a classroom, where we ate Cadburys Roses and watched "4 Weddings and A funeral" until order was relatively restored.
A was one of the last caught in that hour of madness and came bursting into the classroom, telling us eagerly about how our House Head had cornered him against a wall and screamed at him and how he had wiggled free and then deciding to go and have a fag in library only to find the door locked and bolted with the librarians in and a few scared looking first-years inside.

It started up again half-heartedly during the rest of the day, but never to the same effect as that mad hour.
We came home bursting of the stories and laughing about the adventure only to have them dismissed by Mothership and Dad as over-exaggerated madness.
So that's our riot, and it just reinforced my belief that I never wanted to go into teaching!

A big whole bunch of randomness for you guys today!!

Thanks for the sympathy (And the bad jokes!!) It did make me giggle and normal service is kinda resumed until the next time!

As seen on El Tel's site, here's a list of the teams who's grounds I've visited on my football travels!

Arsenal.
Aston Villa.
Bolton.
Charlton.
Chelsea.
Fulham.
Man U.
Portsmouth
Derby
Leicester (both Filbert Street and The Walkers ground)
Norwich.
Sheff U.
Sheff Wednesday.
Chesterfield.
Doncaster.
Gillingham.
Notts Forest - Where I fell in the Trent in front of a bunch of Forest supporters and was soaking wet for the whole game!
Port Vale.
Rotherham.
Grimsby.
Stockport.

Plus, Wembley, Cardiff's Millennium stadium, and non-league Welling and York City.

Not a bad list huh?

I was also going to write about my NANOWRIMO efforts and about the riot in my school but that list has gone on for far longer than I actually thought it would, so you can look forward to hearing about them tomorrow and onwards!

Sick and fucking tired.

I'm sick of everything.
Nothings fun anymore and I feel like I hate everybody and everything.
Its all too much hassle, eating, sleeping, filling in these countless job applications when I'll only get rejected. Sitting in line in the job centre to be filled in with the rest of the spongers and scum. I'm sick of the fact that whenever my friends ask me what I've been up too I have nothing to say or no exciting stories to tell anyone.
I'm sick of the fact I've not had a good giggle in a long time or been carefree for ages. I'm sick that I feel guilty about even popping out for the afternoon.
I'm sick of the fact that all I want to do is sit in bed all day huddled under my duvet.
I fucking hate this and I'm sick of blogging boring, depressing shit.
Fuck it all.

Alex asked:

What is the best piece of advice that you have ever been given, and yet still ignored it...

I've been trying for a few days to think of what my reply to this would be.
I'm not very good with advice, some people go out looking for advice and act on it. I don't ask for it often, if ever and often when people have given me advice different to what I think, its made me all the more determined to go out and do the opposite of it anyway.
Or I don't tell people what I get up to or have planned until I've carried it out and then am left wondering why the hell it all went wrong.
The WORST piece of advice I've been given is from my Mothership and was "Don't go to uni, you won't like it and you won't cope. If you must go, apply locally and come home at nights"
Of course I ignored her and it was the best thing I've ever done.
I can think of several good pieces of advice like "Don't go with him" (meaning the BB) which I ignored and I'm glad I did.
I got told never to smoke so of course I had to have that one puff that then put me off for life!
I've been told to avoid drugs, and I have turned down the offer of weed but those don't really count do they?!
These are all good but surely not the best advice ever? There must be something more or have I just let a sheltered little life?

What about you guys? Whats the best advice you've ever been given and ignored or worst you've been given and ignored and do you regret it?

I went to bed reasonably early last night, after spending a busy day sanding, wiping and undercoating downstairs and then watching the England game trying as always to spot STF.
At 3am when I was in a half doze, the phone rings and I fall out of bed in an effort to answer it before the rest of my house is woken.
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"
"ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

"Hullo STF."
He's clearly drunk and giggles down the phone to me and I'm so homesick for Derby and nights out and drunken fun.
"Are you still in Geneva?"
Through a rambled discussion over his soggy pizza and how he lost his match ticket stub in a bin and had to go through the bin to rescue it I find out that he rated Young, hadn't thought much of Konchesky, tried to chat up a french lady, despite only knowing "Do you know the way to the train station?" in French. And he demands that I come see him next weekend and get some Real Swiss Chocolate and when he found out Charlton have Man U he decided that he was coming down to see it and that I would be taking him to the Charlton away fixtures at White Hart Lane, Stamford Bridge and Highbury."
"Yes but STF where are you NOW?"
"I'm in Derby! Keep up! I've been leaving messages on everyone's answerphone, you're the only one who's picked the phone up!
Guess what? I fucked up getting back and I had to leave early! Only the second time ever I've had to leave early and we were 2-1 down with 87 minutes gone and then I get back to England and I find out we won! And I went out partying and everyone knew the score but me! And I had the fucking programme and ticket in my pocket. Did I tell you I dropped it in the bin?"

After ten minutes of rambling he dropped the phone down the stairs, told me his pizza was cold again and that he was now going to watch the highlights on telly and I try and get back to sleep.

Oops! Ok Spins here's the answer to that missing question:

"If you could do anything career-wise, regardless of family obligation or skill, what would you do?"
I'd be a marine biologist, working in the most amazing coral reefs and studying shark behaviour, and be damn rich doing it, or alternately I'd be the next David Attenborough, jetting round the world filming different animals for telly. All my life all I've ever wanted to do was work with animals and I was never smart enough at school to get the grades needed for vet school. I had the choice of going to Edinburgh to study Marine and Freshwater Biology, but I was struck by a terrifying thought of "what if I end up hating fish?"
So Zoology seemed like a nice way of getting a degree and not having to face the trauma of having to focus on one specific branch and I dont regret making that choice.
One day I'd like to go on and do a masters, perhaps in Marine Biology or Wildlife Conservation, but I want to do some living and saving(!) before I go back to studying. I need the break!

On to EL TEL's questions!!!

What would be the line-up (3 bands/performers) of your dream gig?
This is actually really hard! I like music as does everyone but I'm not fanatical about it like some people (wink, wink Flash!) In fact I only own three albums. I dont own a CD player, Mp3 or Ipod player and one of those albums is Flash's! So who would be in my dream gig?

Well We'll have to say Flash, just so I can leap around like a crazy person boasting of how I knew him before he became famous!
The next group I guess would have to be Queen. I'm working on the idea that I could invite who-ever I want for my dream gig and my Mum has always been a massive Queen fan and I think I've heard them everyday of my life whilst living at home and she missed her chance of going to a concert after falling and breaking some ribs the day of the show so I'd pick them and take her along for the ride.
Who else would I pick? Well I suppose I could be mocked for this but I'd like to see The Beatles or Paul Maccartney doing their greatest hits and some Wings songs, laugh all you like but who doesnt sing along with them when they come on the radio?
So I think that'd be my three performers, with special mentions to Green Day and The Killers.

What football fixture would you most like to see?

Charlton in the FA cup final/ Champions League final obviously! (Providing we won of course!!!)
International fixtures I'd like to see is an England game, I'm not fussy which, but if I could choose any I suppose I'd like to see them play Scotland, Germany or Argentina, just because I imagine the atomosphere to be great.
I'd also like to go to a match at the Nou Camp, I went there on a tour with school and the stadium was awesome empty so I 'd like to see a match there.
As for here, well I've been to Stamford Bridge, Old Trafford and Highbury. I still want to make the trips to Anfield and St James Park so those are fixtures I'd like to make one day.

If you had to move to a different town/city etc, where would you choose, and why?

I'm not too fussy really, I'd like to live in Cornwall at some point, but I'd live anywhere, I get bored and restless when I'm in the same place too long, so I'd like a career where I can move about a bit, but I'd live in any city that met these three requirements.
1 - Not too remote. I'm too much of a townie to live like The Twins or CL does
2 - Not too townie and built up, I've had enough of that here. Maybe surburby though.
3 - Where I could make it home for football easily enough.

And finally, what's the most useful thing that you learned whilst studying?

Leaving essays to the night/two days before before is a big nono!

Wow! Some real hard questions here!

Spinsterwitch: Tell me about the most memorable person in your life (who you no longer actively see or know)?
This is really quite difficult as I'm quite loyal in my friendships and all of them are people that I've know for many years. But once I decide to drop that person I do so without any thought or concern and don't look back to them.
Had you asked me this the year I went to uni I would have said OF having not seen or heard from her in nearly two years. She's obviously one of the first people I remember in my life outside of my family and my family are all reasonably close due to the football.
What about Primary school? Well I was a fairly solitary child, happy to play on my own, I had a few girlfriends, but by the last year they grew interested in boys, and clothes and music and other stuff I had no interest in so I walked away from that group and have rarely thought about them since, I could name names but not remember faces in that group.
There was a group of three or four lads that I played with. "The birdy game" Some crazy variant of chase and I remember them very clearly although I was never as close with them as I was my girlfriends and I've thought about them a few times over the years and could contact one of them via Friends Reunited but I'm always put off actually getting in touch in case my memories are tainted by him being an idiot.
They were kind, funny and yet somehow on the outskirts of the class, not quite in with the group and thats one of my overridding memories, of them being slightly alone from everyone else and running around in the playground, trying to catch them and "chop their wings off" while they squawked, laughed and avoided me, being the slow person that I was.
They were more fun to play with and be silly with than the other boys who refused to let me play their games or the girls who sat in groups and talked rubbish.
As for secondary school? Well I keep in touch with those that I wanted to and most of them I want to forget about.
There's a PE teacher WW who I got on very well with and we'd go riding with her and her daughter, who was about eleven years younger than us. She moved to New Zealand about seven or eight years ago and we keep in touch via the odd email and one day soon I hope to go out there and see her and her daughter.

So perhaps the most memorable people in my life that I'm no longer in touch with and wish I was are that group of four lads, all slight outcasts in their own way and who accepted me.

Most memorable person that I've no wish to get in contact with? Well you'd need a list as long as my arm to list the bullies from school, but perhaps the earliest of these was a boy who we'll just know as a dickmunch, he frequently treated me like I was inferior to him and would draw on me and on my clothes and hurt me without getting in too much trouble from the teacher.
Still I kicked him hard in the balls one day and that's enough revenge for me.

Tomorrow we'll answer El Tel's question(s)!

If anyone else thinks there is anything you want to ask? A story you want to find out about? Anything YOU think I should write about? Go mad and I'll try and do my best.

Sigh.
I like the idea of putting something down here everyday, but its hard to think up new ways or new variations of "I woke up. I played online, I watched Telly, I went to bed."
So what can I write about?
Well tomorrow I'm getting tickets for Villa (taking The Sheep! Should be interesting him meeting E!!!)

So here we go, I'll turn it over to you guys, is there anything you want to ask? A story you want to find out about? Anything YOU think I should write about?
Go mad and I'll try and do my best.

So the story of me getting shot.
Its a lot more dramatic than it actually was I'm afraid, so you might be disappointed.

About this time two years ago, I was living in my Derby house with MH and CL. It was a Tuesday night, I had been curled up on my favourite chair watching Man U on the Telly when The Hunter phoned me.
Now The Hunter does exactly what his name suggests. Sees a bunny rabbit BANG BANG! See's a squirrel BANG BANG! Sees a crow/pigeon. BANG BANG. Gun Nut.
I don't actually like this idea but I'm a townie so don't like sticking my nose into and saying this is wrong in my idea, cos what do I know about country life? And to be fair he does eat the rabbits and pigeons he shoots. And grey squirrels shouldnt be in this country anyway and crows are pests.

So anyway, I'm watching Telly downstairs, MH is upstairs tidying or whatever and CL is out with UDOBF.
So The Hunter rings me. "Whatcha up to? I'm bored?"
I said I was just watching football and he could come round and hang out if he liked. So I go up and take my contacts out and put my glasses back on and go back to watching my game.
The doorbell rings so I bounce up and go to let him in, he's bent down doing his shoelaces up, then I see a guy in dark get up emerge from behind CL's car.

The guy comes running up to the house firing, The Hunter darts for cover and I panic and try to slam the door shut while ducking behind it.
Several sharp pains in my stomach and then I can't see anything out of one eye, its blurry. I try and slam the door shut and the bloke shoves his foot into it.
I kicked him in the shin and try to slam it shut somemore.
The Hunter is laughing now and pushes the door open and I stare out at this guy blankly.
MH came running to the hallway at the sound of the shots and then retreated again.
Blankly I say Hello to his mate, still kinda dazed about what has happened in the space of thirty seconds.
Apparently the pair of them are pissed and gone on the rampage with a BB gun, I've been shot several times across the stomach and once in the face, that I assume is a rebound from something, its cracked my glasses.
If I hadn't had gone to put them on, I'd have been hit in the eye and God knows what. Blinded for all I know.
Have any of you been shot by a BB gun? Or for that matter gone Paintballing, I reccomend paintballing if you don't mind getting covered in bruises.
But the bruises from this. I don't know how to describe them, several red bumps across my stomach, sticking up, they were sore and painful for a few days before turning to interestingly coloured bruises that took several days to disappear and it cost me £70 to get new glasses.

I told you it was more exciting that what actually happened. But lately I've been thinking about it lots and what would have happened if I was blinded. Would my eye have exploded in a ball of gunk or would I have one of those blood bruises in it? Or have I just seen too many violent movies? Its a scary thought nonetheless

Pinched from Spins as I'm bored!

Name someone with the same birthday as you? Halle Berry apparently!

Where was your first kiss? The back room of Our Beloved Friary. I can point out the sofa where it happened behind the pool tables. I recieved a whoop too from my audience too!

Have you ever seriously vandalized someone's property? Apart from breaking my brothers Mr Frosty maker when I threw it down the stairs at him? No

Have you ever sang in front of a large group of people? Probably in one of those dreadful school play things they make you do to your bored parents in primary school, never solo though, my voice is dreadful!

What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes and smile, they have to have a kind face.

What really turns you on? Sense of humour

What do you order at Starbuck's? Hot Chocolate!

What is your biggest mistake? I dont think I have one

Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? no.

Say something totally random about yourself I keep having nightmares about the time I got shot lately.

Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity? Actually since posting that last pic on here that I did for GT, the one of me in the pink dress (bastard) I've shown it to STF and JF who said I looked like a ginger Sarah Michelle Gellar(?) and Herminone Granger from HP (I don't see either of those myself)

Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows? I love my Classic Disney movies and Harry Potter films and some kiddy TV shows are quite good, as well as the "retro" ones like Dangermouse, Thundercats and Trap Door.

Did you have braces? Oh God yes, fixed ones for two years and in some bizarre way I had coloured braces too, and did my nails to match, sometimes they were red and white (Charlton obviously!) or Green and Orange or Green and Red if it was near Christmas time, possibly one of the dodgiest decisions I've ever made there, and removeable ones for two years too that I was still supposed to wear till I was 22 but I lost them in the cinema (don't ask how!) and I never went back for new ones. I'll never forget the pain after they were tightened.

Are you comfortable with your height? Most of the people I hang with are a fair bit taller than me so I feel a little uncomfortable about it, but I'm of average height or a little under.

What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?
Made me breakfast in bed, but then I'm not sure that counts as I kicked him in the back repeatedly until he gave in, someone did offer to buy me flowers once but I turned them down. So I don't think anyones done anything romantic for me!

When do you know it's love? I don't. I'm still deeply cynical about it.

Do you speak any other languages? Smattering of German, a couple of words of Spanish and I can say "Winnie the Pooh and the Forest of Blue Dreams" in French, as I'm sure you'll agree thats a useful thing to say.

Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Don't be daft

What magazines do you read? The ones that come in the paper.

Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yup

Has anyone you were really close to passed away? I'm working on it! But my Granddad, Great Granddad and a man I knew from the stables.

Do you watch MTV? Sometimes late at night, when they sign the songs, its quite funny.

What's something that really annoys you? Arrogance.

What's something you really like? ICE CREAM!

Do you like Michael Jackson? Some of the older stuff.

Can you dance? Yup, when drunk and very badly too!

What's the latest you have ever stayed up? I'm an ex-student! Every student has pulled an all nighter at some point or another!

Have you ever been rushed to the ER by ambulance? No but MH was in our last night in Derby and my dream was always to ride in an ambulance so I demanded that I got taken along for the ride.

Do you read these whe someone fills them out? Yup.