I got my Paul Konchesky photo back! -- EEK! He looks well scary, like he's about to mug me or something, placed it on my wall near my feet so he can't scare me too much and on a bonus note, my Wildlife conservation essay is done as is Entomology.
I'm having a little break before I start sorting out my notes as Exam Time is coming up and I'm also looking at the Show and Tell sheet, my driving intructor gave me.

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Didn't get round to posting yesterday, spent the morning playing with cryopreserved bull semen - what a way to start the week!
Tomorrow is my driving test, and i'm wetting myself.

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I'm pissed.
Twice now I have written, intelligent, humorous blog about yesterday's footy trip to Wednesday, How we invaded the Wednesday pitch and how Charlton lost, I had spell checked it and everything, then, Stupid Computer (bless 'im) refused to allow me to get links on, so I gave up, I've written the 500 words I challenged myself to write today, not a lot I know, but due to everything going on, I'm finding it hard to get motivated and stay focused, however I refuse to use this as an excuse to curl up in a ball and sob bitterly about how messed up my life is and how I should quit uni now and run away to join the circus (and be a trapeze artist). No I am made of stronger stuff, I will set myself little targets everyday and this 3000 word minimum essay WILL be done by Thursday.
In fact, I'm going to reward myself now, by having done 165 extra words today by eating a whole apple pie or big sticky toffee pudding. (I really want cheesecake but am cheesecakeless) and then I may watch a film, play on the net, or do the last 800 words for my Wildlife Conservation essay.
Now then....
Apple pie or Sticky toffee....
Decisions, Decisions.

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I'm tired.
VERY tired, We celebrated New Loan Day by going to Old Trafford in a day packed with adventure. First MH makes a prat out of herself (easily done) on the train by describing it down the phone to her mate as a "choo-choo". Cue train carriage falling apart in hysterics.
Made our way to Sheff ok, then we got on a train to Manc, meeting a really nice man (Steve?) who offered to drive us from Stockport to the game which is the train stop before. We met his mate and I got the usual stick for being a CAFC supporter.
The Ground itself is amazing, well worth going, even if we did lose 2-0. Paul Konchesky had a very good (from my Humble Opinion.) penalty claim turned down and was booked for diving.
After the game we tried to meet the players like we do at Wednesday, however Jobsworth stewards didnt let us (fair enough really) and wouldn't let us stand where players could see us.
Found ourselves getting involved with a woman, who we guessed at first to be a football groupie and then discovered that she was Konch's mum!!
EEEK!
He came out and I got a shirt signed and posed for a photo and then MH asked if he'd take her Wednesday shirt over to be signed by Di Canio and he was happy too and I asked if he could take my shirt over and get it signed and he did, I got a load of the kids on it but some first teamers, Matty Holland, JJ, Simon Royce, Di Canio, Cole, him and Jason Euells.
I think that was really nice of him as he didn't have too, and my opinion has got up, I had heard that he was a bit full of himself, a bit of a dick really, but he didn't have to trot back to the coach for us and that was nice.
Got an earlier train back to Sheff than we were expecting, we thought we'd have to wait round till 20 past 2 but got a 20 past 12 one, although we still had to sit up in the Sheff Train Station waiting room till 5:22.
Eventually reaching our house at 6:16AM and collapsing in bed.
Woke up today for MH to suggest we go back to Wednesday for a reserve game, and CL was up for driving us (Free football and free transport - could any body say no?)
Now back and trying to write my Entomology essay for next Thursday, trying not to think that this time next week I may have failed/passed my driving test.

I'm lonely, I wanted to watch me new (and first - let no one say I am not up to date with technology!) DVD! Yes Audrey Rose Has finally arrived and seeing as MH said that she was going straight to Shrewsbury Town (Hereforafter STF) Fan's house, I figured I'd make the most of it. Except its a sodding American DVD that won't play on my computer.
Piss. Shit. Wank.
And yes I am lonely, I want to play with MH and STF, except I was not invited (well they said I could come chill and then possibly head to a bar - then MH says no trip out). Like i said before, I don't want to get in the way and I know I will. She'll roll in late and hell! I'm jealous, she's me best mate here and I want her to meself. It weren't so bad when she was with Jenna, he was a mate too and always here.
She might want Jon Shaw (and even became a bunny boiler by giving him her mob no.) but STF wants her and I think he'll get his way when she realises Jon Shaw is just a fantasy.
I'm lonely, jealous and bitching. Wow I have turned into such a Girl - its pathetic. *sigh* I'm going to play solitaire


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Back in Derby now, spent the time constructively, educating CL into the miracle that was the playoff Final and the legend that is Super Clive.
Marathon fever kicked in early this year, I have a pretty good internal clock if there is something worth getting up for.
I couldn't remember what time the marathon started and didn't do the sensible thing of checking start times in a TV listings magazine so set my alarm for 7:15, I was awake at 6:50, feeling very knackered as I had decided that 1:30AM was a perfect time to start packing, I collected clothes and then found out it all started at 8:55 so dozed back off, although I was disturbed by the sleepy chirruping of my birds as they woke, said "good morning" to each other and went back to sleep.
Plus the helicopters and the sun shining into my room meant that I was up about 8:20 and dragging everyone else out of bed about half past.
Wasn't all that great this year and I was disappointed after building myself up for it, the crowds and music was small, I guess that's cos of the bad weather and didn't spot anyone famous running. Would have very much liked to have seen Jonny Wilkinson, but I had a good time neverless.
So in Derby, have things changed? Well I'm still wrestling with my essay, messy rooms, disobedient posters that refuse to stay on the walls. Still have not figured out this comment effort, the pretty world map I had on last night appears to have been abducted by the Pretty World Map picture fairies (Maybe they were jealous of it?)
CL and UDOBF have scarpered, afraid that they will be made to sit through Charlton Video 2 - The 90's. MH is at work and the tree in my front garden is full of delicate white blossom. Yes everything is good in my world
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AARRGHH! After putting that last post up, I somehow managed to make it all appear on the others??
Anyway. Hopefully It has worked. Anyway, today's footy... Lets see? How would I describe it?
Well It was a battle between two battle-weary gladitators, each forcing each other in to a high risk, adrenalised match, full of goals, and thrills, a joy for everyone watching...
Ok maybe not. To tell you the truth, it was boring. Only the last five minutes were worth watching, we got two goals, and a booking. Of course, this being Charlton, we went down and everyone started to pootle out of the ground, then somehow Matty scuffed one in and everyone went as wild as if we'd won.
CL and MH went to Blackpool to see Wednesday and true to form, they lost 4-1, at least I can't get the blame for that one eh?
Tomorrow is Marathon Day, and we live just by the One Mile marker, near our local shops, I love Marathon Day, spotting all the minor celebs running, and cheering on people like Paula Radcliffe and Tanni Grey Thompson. Laughing at the dodgey costumes, clapping and cheering them on until my hands are sore and red.
I've only missed it once since I was young and I have a hundred little memories of it, when I was little we'd stand 6 deep in crowds on Motherships and Dad's shoulders, watching the street cleaners taking the paint off and squirting each other with the pressure hoses.
One year Me and Oldest Friend made a banner to wave saying only another 25 miles to go, we were not very popular!!!
Tomorrow is also the day my little Holiday is over and I need to go back to Derby, which is gonna be interesting, seeing as all the roads will be closed for the marathon and St Pancras has moved.
I needed this little break, my head was close to popping there, and I had a constant knot in my stomach.
I guess a lot of it is due to the stress of the few weeks, not sure if it helped coming home and seeing Dad so obviously struggling with the drugs, but I needed to get away and sort my head out.
Hopefully now it is all sorted and I can go back, write the entomology essay that I was supposed to write here, but never did and catch up on all my other work, that is so far behind.
Until then, I'm making the most of SKY TV and the music channels. (Aerosmith and Love in an Elevator rocking my world at the mo!)
And Man U on Tuesday, which could be interesting.


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Right, I definately have not figured out this comments/ trackback effort. Hmmm Think, think, think. Why have I not figured this out?

Ok maybe I was getting too excited about getting a comments thing up, not that anyone reads this (And I'm not too bothered if anyone does/doesnt read this.)
Surely, I dont have to copy and paste everytime I want to add the comments thing?
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Hey! great! I'm ssooo getting good at this lark, now I can work out if anyone is looking at this (highly unlikely I know, seeing as this is mainly carried out for fun rather than any real reason.) but still, its getting like a proper blog now!
Now I'd get pretty pictures on it too, but you have to pay for that service, and I dont honestly think I can do that yet, maybe when the New Loan comes...
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I think I've fucked up. No, I need to stop thinking like that, stop letting them let me think that I have fucked up.
See I got my computer back and was trying to activate windows, except I couldn't cos I needed to ring a number, apparently Favourite Uncle No 2. said that I need this disc to over write what he had put into it.
But I needed to register this Windows first, so I did so as I couldn't get into my computer until it was registered.
Then I tried to install the discs but apart from giving me pictures, they did sod all. I tried to explain this to Dad but he totally lost it, yelling at me telling me that I wasn't supposed to do that, that I'd fucked up again basically and not listening as they always do.
Somehow I get the blame for a lot of things like that, and I spend the next few hours in agony, trying to work out how it was my fault and feeling very guilty that it was my fault, and then hours resolving to be better.
This Time I will not let that happen, I don't know what caused him to lose it, maybe the drugs he's on?
But It was NOT my fault and I will not let them drag me down, this week has been good, I've been sorting my head out and it won't take much for them to bring me down again.



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Huzzah!
First chance for a blog in AGES, Lets see, what's been happening in my world?
Oh yeah. Well Monday, Charlton did me proud. Chrissy I'll sing along with you anytime.
Wednesday managed to not lose their last few games (cos I'm not there) However MH has relented and allowed me to go to the last game of the season, at home to QPR.
Yesterday, I went to Bromley with The Mothership and her partner in crime and found myself practically locked into a changing room at Debinghams and bombarded with ball gowns.
Eventually got one (£140! - for something i'll only wear twice! Its wrong.) Quite liked the idea that Mothership was paying however.
I think it looks ok, a bit flouncy skirt wise and I'm not too keen on the fact it's strapless but I can deal with that and I guess at least Blue means no pink or black.
I was also dragged round several shops hunting foraccessoriess. I hate Shopping, as I may have mentioned before, I loathe it with a passion, in fact the only things I loathe more are all tomato-based produce and Millwall.
So I was dragged for shoes, they wanted blue, looked for white and settled for cream pumps, I didn't know what a pump was apart from one that blew up airbeds, and was frankly baffled about how that would get onto my feet, we also needed a handbag - EEP! I do not do bags, I fit everything into my pockets or con someone else (usually MH) into carrying my stuff in THEIR bag.
Anyway after several hours, I'm pissed off at it all, Mothership and Partner-In-Crime are still going strong and she turns to me in Marks and Sparks and says.
"D'you know what else you might have to worry about?"
My mind goes blank...
"Midges?" I said hopefully. I mean it will be May, Midges will be around. Midges seemed like a sensible thing to worry about at an all nighter.
Partner-In-Crime collapses into the old-ladieswear collection in hysterics. Mothership scowls and says. "No, Jewellery."
AAAAHHH Of course! Silly me! why didn't I think of that?


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1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"Is called Slander" (The Curious Incident of the Dog in The nightime.)

2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Windowsill and curtain

3: What is the last thing you watched on TV? The Cricket, England Vs West Indies.

4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
11:45

5: Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
11:49

6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
TV, I have a music channel on, at the moment its playing November Rain

7: When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Went down the road to get chinese about 7:30

8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
CAFC website.

9: What are you wearing?
Football shirt over riding jumper, old jeans, do my glasses and hair bobble count?

10: Did you dream last night?
More than likely, however I don't remember it.

11: When did you last laugh?
seeing the blow up male doll at footy, it had interesting leg features!

12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A mirror, speakers, thats it, boring living room

13: Seen anything weird lately?
The male blow up doll being bopped around at footy today

14: What do you think of this quiz?
I’m likin’ it

15: What is the last film you saw?
LOTR 3 (at the cinema)
Session 9 (at home in derby)
HP2 (At home in London)

16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
Molly. She's a sweetheart of a horse and not meant to be a riding school pony.

17: Tell me something about you that I don't know
I have a bit of a thing for guys in black nail varnish.

18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Save the rainforests

19: Do you like to dance?
Yes, dont get the chance much and I only like it if I'm not going to end up with a freak grabbing my ass half way through

20: George Bush: is he a power-crazy nutcase or some one who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years? Nutter.

21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
I really dont want kids at this moment, but I always liked my unusual name and I like Tallyn, it reminds me of knights and medieval stuff

22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
I dunno, actually, having kids is one of the last things on my mind

23: Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes! However I would strongly have to think about missing Charlton

No update yesterday, one of the bad things about being at home is the fact that I have to share the computer with the bro.
Left alone for a vast majority of the day so I read The Secret Life of bees. which is pretty good.
Compared to Derby, it seems so hot here, it maybe only one or two degrees warmer, but you can feel it and I need my windows open. I can understand that Dad being ill means that we need to make sure he don't get a Chill, but surely some crisp, fresh (well London fresh anyway!) air is good?
Football wasnt that great, Bartlett scored after a few minutes and I was thinking about how fun it will be when we do the double over Liverpool...
But then, it was typical Charlton and we were lucky not too lose. Could have guessed it was going to go bad when the Pompey fans were out singing us through most of the match.

So I'm back in London, relatively painlessly, not getting chatted up by random EX cons from Belmarsh.
Dad's not liking his medication, Spent all day in bed, not eating, its hurting me thinking about it, its probably why I'm getting so messed up lately, not eating, sleeping a lot, not motivated to work
I'm scared that he will get like he will before when he had the first cancer and nearly died. Everytime I come home I look for signs that he is losing weight again.
Doesnt help when people like the Hunter tell me I should worry less. What does he know about anything anyway? His idea of a trauma is not getting to go shooting.
I sent LF another apologetic text. I hope things are cool, I tried to explain why I couldnt ring, cos I was ashamed.
Trying to work out if It could be taken that I'm not over him, cos I am.
One good thing about being at home is I get Sky TV and funky music channels, at the mo, I'm rocking out to Scooby Snacks by the fun loving criminals

All things considering, I feel pretty good.
Then again, we were back in bed by about 11pm. Poor MH got totally wasted and I had to take her home.
I'm trying to remember exactly how much we had to drink. We started at home with a shot of pure Archers each.
Then at our Friary to have a WKD. (I know MH had 2 glasses of wine and was wasted then - All hail the Queen of Lightweights and I thought I was bad!)
Then on to Varsity. (also shows Walkabout at night.) Where we had an Apple sour shot and a glass of some cocktail, and I had half of MH's.
Then we went to Walkabout and had 2 aftershocks, which I loathe and only managed to down cos I downed water and OJ after. Then I thought I'd escaped with my glass of OJ but MH's Mate put 2 vodka shots into it, which was ok, but when MH added the wine, I had to leave it, I hate wine, it tastes like vinegar.
She was wasted, and her mate too, so I walked them both home, I felt surprisingly ok, I was light headed but only mildly.
MH told me all the way home about her crush on Jon Shaw and her physio.
She don't believe me now, that we were dancing in Walkabout and all the rest of it.
I think I might have been more drunk than I remember. I sent another mean text to LF, I convinced myself that he didnt want to be mates anymore as he was doing the same to me that I was doing to The Sheep.
Bless him, He rang me twice but as it was private number I refused to answer it and he left me a really sweet message on my answerphone.
Texted back explaining some of the shit thats been going on and I was taking it out on him and I was Really, Really sorry.
Now I'm going to get on with my work, I need to improve on the grand total of 6 words that I wrote yesterday, seeing as I'm going home tomorrow and Wont be able to get any work done at home.

its "LF" ive not like had any credit for god knows how many months. ive had a lot of money trouble. i know you have the phone thing but ring me or something
I love him to pieces, he's a good mate, even if he did fuck with my head, but I can understand that everyone makes mistakes and I was his, I know if possible he has more issues in his head than me. I wish I could sort out the phone thing and just call him for a chat, but I cant physically make myself do it. Its so stupid but I have a real phone phobia, sometimes I can talk to certain people on the phone for ages and sometimes I cant unless I have a really good reason to need them, its hard cos he lives so far away and wants to be mates and I totally understand about him worrying about what his bird will think, what with me being an 'ex' and all.
I miss his friendship, even though I hardly know him, My family have fucked with my head so much and I totally belived them, when Mothership told me I was worthless, so it was amazing when he told me he cared for me and he still does, I know its not in *that* way and I dont mind that, I want him to be a happy camper and I know i'm not the person for that and if i'm totally honest, I just wanted him as a mate, not as a partner.
It means so much to me that we are mates, even though he thinks i'm totally screwed up (and possibly even more so after the past few weeks!)
this is turning into a pointless rant, total dribble, but he means so much to me, he made me re-evaluate the way I view myself and I think I have some self confidence after those few weeks we were together.
This all makes it sound like I'm totally obsessed and hung up with him, but I'm not. We clicked together and I value him as a person, nearly as much as I value MH and E at home.
I'm going to stop dribbling now and do some work, maybe i'll ring him but I won't. I can't.

I think its safe to admit that I am no scholar, somehow I blagged my way through GCSE's and passed at least half of my A levels. (failing the biology one, yet Derby Uni STILL lets me into do science HND then zoology degree, I think that just says it all really....)
So to say optimisitically that I will work hard all over Easter, was really asking for trouble, apart from the vast majority of the week that I spent in York and the Next 10 days in London I will get piss all work done.
I'm MSNing ppl, reading blogs and charlton website and listening to what sounds like some random hippie bird wondering what if god was one of us?
Bring back the Beatles! I was happily singing along to "Get back" now i have some REM poo on. and insects are in my essay that i have been staring at for a good two hours and I'm going out with MH and uni pals tonight...
Not long till NEW LOAN now!

EEEK!
Just got back from my driving lesson that I had totally forgotten about. It wasn't the best in the world, loads of traffic jams out today, totally traumatising me.
My Wildlife Conservation essay is really pissing me off. I'm stuck with about 800 words to go to hit the minimum word count.
Some how no matter how well I plan these things out, I always struggle to hit the minumum needed....
So figured to put it aside for now and get down to my Entomology essay.
2000 words on Insect Conservation... Big Whoo!
Still I have ten days at home starting on Thursday and two gamese of footy to go to and a brand new book from ASDA to read. Recommended from a mate at home, I will now recommend it on... The Curious Incident Of the Dog at Night Time. There, now onwards and upwards to my insect essay

got half of my essay done yesterday, then walked down to Block Buster to meet with MH about picking a scary video *mental note* Do Not Walk Down To Block Busters After Reading Stephen King At 10:30PM.
Meanwhile... I have been educating CL and MH on the horror of Millwall in the FA Cup Final and their history of violence
Still getting over what they did to Aries (the grey in the picture) and poor Taurus (The one bandaged in the other picture)

EEEK. Millwall in the FA cup final. Scary stuff.
Wonder if they lose will it be a repeat of the play off final semi final that they lost (Against Birmingham? or was is Sheff u?) when they all went on the rampage.
Apparently the chairman has vowed to run naked through Sarf Luundun. What would be more scary? Millwall in Europe or that?
Very glad that i'll be in Derby or that Blackheath will probably be spared that.

Shit! I went to School with Ben and was in his GCSE Drama class. I remember him saying then that he played for Arsenal Youth.
He was never a friend, Probably don't even know my name but he skippered Wimbledon yesterday and scored the winning goal!
........ So someone at my shitty school seems to be making something of themselves then...........

Well, The Curse continues, now MH has banned me from the final match of the season against QPR.
Seven Wednesday games now, and I've seen them lose them all, not even draw. In fact in these seven games. Wednesday have scored twice and one of those was a penalty.
The Grimsby Town ground is a proper dump and I've been to Chesterfield and Craven Cottage! Was pleasantly surprised to see Super Clive Mendonca staring at me from the front of the programme and even a feature about him in the programme, what with him being a great striker.
MH doesn't know anything about him! This will have to rectified and arrangements have been made to bring up the PlayOff Final video.
The Stewards at Grimsby seemed pretty clueless to me, almost as if they were waiting for a fan to come on and go for one of the players, Like in the Leicester/Ian Walker Situation.
First just before Kick off, one of the beach balls being bounced around ended up bouncing around in front of the goal. A Wednesday fan went to retrieve it and the stewards just watched.
Later during the second half, another Wednesday fan ran onto the pitch and nicked the Grimsby Keeper's Towel. Again the stewards just watched.
It could have got nasty, especially when they started throwing bottles of water at the stewards but nothing happened.
I guess the sea air got to the stewards, but really, they were asking for trouble.
Still we got a nice day out in Cleethorpes, me and MH and then returned home to watch Jeepers Creepers, which seems even dafter now, the second time round and it proper shat me up the first time I saw it in the Greenwich Filmworks, until the bit where the daft kids are trying to run it over and then I saw it for what it was and crapped myself laughing at it.
The mate I went to see it with was still spooked by it several days later....
Still now its Sunday and I really need to get on with some work. I'm going home for Easter in a week and that's 10 days less of work that I can get done over the holidays.
Millwall are playing Sunderland later in the FA Cup Semi Final (Come on Sunderland!!)

I had to pinch this. It's soooo funny

The scene: Spotty Parker's hotel room in Gothenburg, before midday today. The phone rings. Someone answers it. It is Spotty himself, in a gold-encrusted dressing gown. Steady on, girls.
Spotty: Uuuuuuh?
Ponderous-sounding Swedish voice: "Hello. Is that Scott?"
Spotty: Uuuuuuh!
Voice: "I'd like to say congratulations for your fine performance last night. I thought those minutes you were on the field were fantastic. They really showed what a great choice you were."
Spotty: Uuuh-uhhh!
Voice: "And, I'd like you to be the first to know that your move to Chelsea from, aaah... Cheltenham? From there, yes, yes, was very much worth it. Very much."
Spotty grunts with joy.
Voice: "Do you want to join me in Portugal in June?"
Spotty: Uhhhhh!
Voice: "Well, you can now afford a holiday there with British Airways First Class from just £300! April Fool!"
Spotty: Uhhh! Boss? Boss?

From the Charlton blog by Casino avenue

Very tired today, went to Friary to watch England Vs Sweden and discovered there was a promotion on WKD, answer one question right and get a free drink, so me and MH took total advantage, being a general knowledge bore I answered hundreds.
After we found some 3rd year students, some supported Spurs and one Wednesday and a Shrewsbury Town Fan, so of course we were having major ructions, and a bit of a giggle.
We ended up round their house off of Ashbourne road and stayed till 2:30 before realising that I had to come home for driving lesson at 9:30 this morning,
Now feeling very tired and slightly ill.
Did something very stupid, had a strop (i love the Derby word - Mardy) at LF as he doesnt always reply and its been pissing me off for ages as I dont really want to waste my credit, if he aint gonna want to stay mates.
So far he's ignored it, not quite sure what i'll do if he replies, blame the drink? possibly? He'll probably ignore it though.
Meanwhile.... wonder if P*rk*r is regretting his move?