Sunday, July 31, 2005

Its August!
And my birthday's on the 14th so not long to get me a present now!
Get your skates on!

Friday, July 29, 2005

Where is R?
Flash did you take him on in a gladiator fight and feed him to your pet lions?
How I miss him, are we just not funny enough for him anymore?

I've been busy today! How exciting.

Let's see, I woke up, I went to the job centre for my interview about being a scrounger, and I kept breaking the computer every time they put my details in. The man sent me away with a boiled sweetie after giving up in disgust and then I went to the bank and was served by a cashier with a first name of Joke! How exciting! And then I went to Charlton and brought tickets for the Feyenoooooooooooord friendly, and admired the statue and the new kit and then the fire alarm went and I came home and I was going to have a nap, only Mum had put clean washing on my bed but I decided to sleep on my clothes anyway and then I woke and I had a bra trapped in my hair and I went running downstairs screaming for someone to save me.
Phew. And that was my day so far!

Oh and Dad's so called "urgent" scan has been scheduled for next friday.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

"Dude! Help the computery has done a bad thing!"
The Sheep: *waits expantantly*
"Its like made all my files vanished!
I can't find them!
Help me!"
"Have you tried looking in the recycle bin?"
"Nooo, I thought if stuff went in there it was gone for good?"
"No, its like putting stuff into a normal bin, you then have to take that bin and put it in the wheely bin for dustmen to take away"
"Wow. You learn something new everyday."

Anyway, we found my stuff, the computer had seen fit to take everything from the "my documents" and "my pictures" file, hide the "recieved files" and place them in some distant, dusty place, that's only ever visited by adventurous moths, but I found them! I foiled the bastards evil plot! Now it's taking me ages to move them all, one by one to the place they should be to start with.
Why oh why did you move them computer? Was it just to annoy me? Did my files want a change of scenery? a holiday?
How I hate you.

Oh and me and TY'U are buddies again and are back to insulting each other.
Ok. I dunno what the fuck is going on here, but the computer has lost all my files, all my pictures and documents and my favourites. The virus check is coming up clear so what the hell has happened between me going to bed at 4am and coming online now.

My season ticket has arrived! Hurrah for me!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

It's just been one of those days.
I woke up at half 11, looked out the window to see grey skies and rain and decided that the day was gonna be shit, so I ended up going back to bed at 2pm. I woke up again at half past 6 and I still feel like shit.
But before I can go to bed I'm waiting for TY'U to come online cos I ended up having a stupid fight with him yesterday over nothing and I told him to go fuck himself and I need him to come online so I can explain why I flew off the handle over nothing and probably the reason why I was so touchy last night, which will involve the explaination of my last year and the situation as it stands at the mo and I'm not looking forward to it, but it serves me right for calling him a cunt and I hope he still wants to stay mates.
I think I need to hit the bottle tonight and see how drunk I can get on two drinks, maybe if I use my imagination I can make believe that I've drunk more than I have.
How can it be called an "urgent scan" when you're making him wait two weeks?
Stupid pricks.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Go visit Billy here
And feel proud of yourselves, our mission now is to hit the top 10, so let's have more casual swearing and get in that top 10!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Hello All!
How was your weekends?

I have tales to tell of waking up in a strange place, a gobby tenner and a sentence that possibly should never be heard.
So make yourselves comfy and I shall begin my tale.

Firstly, getting up to St Pancras was easier than I thought, hardly any commuters about and hundreds of police.
Got picked up by STF and taken back to the flat that he's sharing with A and T (T&A, hehehehehe) met R, well My R, perhaps he should become Irish R to differentiate from him and our R?
Anyway, he then took me to Sainsburys' where we brought a trolley full of booze and ice.
And then set about filling their bathtub with it, I've never seen a bath, filled to overflowing with ice, cold water and a LOT of drinks, but it rocked!
so we started drinking, I only had two, and then someone handed me a pint glass filled with something that tasted like lime but i'm assured was 70% vodka.
Yeah.... I stick to girly alcopoppy drinks cos I know I can handle them, so downing that, was possibly not one of the best decisions I'd ever made in my life. Then I drank another two drinks and begged STF to wear his Trilby and Afro wig, of which they're are many dodgey pics, although I reckon I look gooood!
Anyway into town we trotted and into a club and I got some water and proceeded to follow orders and "dance like a cunt"
A worried me slightly, he's quite shy and reserved and doesnt normally dance even when he's outta his head (which is normal for him) so when he started dancing with me, I was amused.
Until E pointing out to me "I think he really likes you", which then made me feel awkward for a bit cos I love them all but as drinking buddies only.

And then we came back to STF's and sat around talking and then STF let slip that MH was coming home from Israel, when she told me she was going for 3 months at least.
So he took me aside to tell me that she was coming home cos she had a breast cancer scare, which scared the shit outta me, STF made me sit on the floor of their kitchen, I was pale and shaking and near tears, and then he said something about how she never told me cos she didnt want to worry me and I burst out that she never told me anything any more and when I did speak to her it was just to have a go at me I felt for being at home and the Carer's thing.
And I finished off dramatically with "I never asked for this situation and I'd give anything not to be in it!"
So STF pulled for a hug and that was it, out came the waterworks. And I sobbed my little heart out while A and STF took turns in hugging me and handing me tissues and listening and at some point it was decided that I was staying at E's place with her and her blokey, who is really sweet and both of them fussed over me when I woke in the morning, not sure how the fuck I'd got there or where I was, thankfully not hungover, but with eyes like grit, cos I'd passed out crying to myself (How girly and gay is that?)

So we're now onto Saturday, met up with STF at Macdonalds, where he told me A was still in bed cos he felt Rough As Shit, which I think everyone agreed with.
And then he proposed going to the Derby/Birmingham friendly and here's my sentence that will leave most football fans in shock, well it did me when I realised I was agreeing with STF when he turned to me and said. " Christ. Heskey's having an amazing game!"
So after the game (4-0 to the Brum) and we crashed back at their place, to have a little rest before going out tonight, and believe me, when you're feeling a little delicate the last thing you want is to be stuck between three hung-over, half-dressed guys, slumped in front of The Cricket, burping, farting, scratching their arses and occasionally mustering up enough energy to flick rude finger signs at Shane Warne and Brett Lee.

Saturday night now and we're onto what is already known as The Night of The Gobby Tenner.
J found a tenner on the floor. Rather than do the sensible thing of pocketing it, he drew attention to it and then dared everyone to gob on it.
Blokes. You are disgusting. And they wonder why I won't sleep with any of them!
So everyone did, including me. And then they spilt beer on it and then wanted to do the rockstar thing of setting light to it.
At which point V realised it was his.
"Oi you cooonts!"
The dare then was to pick it up, from its pool of saliva, pleghm and Carling. Having retrieved it from the floor, newly glistening and with a trail of spit hanging from the corner. V decided he didnt want it afterall and that we should put it on the wall and then have a spitting contest, 50 points for hitting it and ridicule for missing it.
This entertained them for an hour or so before deciding that who ever managed to spend it would become a Legend and win free drinks all night.
Which STF did.
The night carried on in the usual style, drinking, clubbing and then gate-crashing an Indian before retiring home and waking up in the morning to make the first trip of the weekend to Our Beloved Friary for breakfast/dinner and bunging me on the train home.

Phew! Now let's see what you lot have been up too!

Friday, July 22, 2005

Off to Derby now!
Whats the betting I get some funny looks with my rucksack?
And that Paranoia has set into the Mothership?
Have a good weekend all!

Thursday, July 21, 2005

How the fuck can you have a dummy explosion?
What the hell does that mean anyways?
Now what? Another Hoax?
Northern Line better be up and running tomorrow! I gotta get to Derby!
I hope it is just another hoax, not so sure though.
Speaking of bombs, The Builder goes tomorrow to a funeral of a friend caught up in the Kings Cross blast. How sad.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

This text has just arrived on my phone, from STF.


4.30 - Pick me up from train station, go to Asda to pick up Charby-FallingDownJuice.
8pm - Party kicks off at their place. Get Drunk
11pm - Head into Town, get drunk, dance like cunts (his words not mine, I like to think that when I'm drunk, I'm a good dancer.)
2pm - Come home with whoever else we can find. Drink. Play games. Get laid, in a kinda hippy style, free love party with lots of bodily fluid exchanged. (I imagine this can be interpreted as, come home, fall over, start game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Pass out, dribbling on the floor.)

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I went to see Madagscar today with TY'U.
(I figured he might not be allowed in to see a higher rated film! - Hehehehe Stop being mean!)
It was quite good really, done by the same lot as Shrek, but no where near as good as that.
I'm going to Derby this weekend! STF has a present for me!

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Why have none of my fellow HP Addicts among my friends read the book yet?!
I was so relieved to realise when I got there that I wasn't the oldest person in the queue like I feared, and in fact I was 6th! Hurrah!
Of course by midnight, the kids had shown up and by the time I got my book there was a good 30 people there.
It took me 3 hours to read it, so I'm glad it wasn't another 7 hour marathon like the last one!
Now I think I'm gonna go read it again!!!!!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

IN ROUGHLY 24 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its not sad at all to be queuing up at midnight tomorrow outside of ASDA is it?
Didn't think so!
"It's going pretty well so far. On my first day I was quite nervous about meeting all the lads and was wondering whether they would all like me, and stuff like that. But all the lads are great. There's a great atmosphere in the changing room and I'm enjoying every minute.”
Bent was especially grateful to Addicks skipper Matt Holland, who was formerly the 21-year-old's captain at Portman Road.
"Matty's been great,” he said. "I hung around with him on the first day and he was showing me a lot and telling me what I can and can't do. He's been brilliant, but to be fair all the lads have been brilliant and they've all helped me settle in well."
Welling tonight!
My favouriteist preseason game ever!
Will you be going R?

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

How funny!
I just told Brother's Mate. (the one that's always chatting me up.) about meeting TY'U on Monday, only the basics like, We met after chatting on MSN and I got wasted and left out all the interesting details.
My God did he go off on one or what?
What I did was stupid, dangerous and reckless, he could have been anyone. I could be familar with a date rape test now.
Blah, blah, blah.
Honestly. No wonder I tell no one anything!
I made sure it was all ok and I'm pretty good at working people out even if it's only online.
I was tempted about telling him that I met Flash, but I think i'd have been hung, drawn and quartered, disembowled with a wooden spoon and then grassed to the folks and how the Christ do I explain how I know him anyway?

*HomerEmailWatch update* No reply yet.
I've just checked my "Charby" email and have no reply from Homer yet.

I'll keep you all updated on HomerEmailWatch. (Catchy name dontcha think?)

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

First things first, I'm adding Tequila to my list of drinks that I will never try again. If I knew the name of the Terry's Chocolate Orange drink I'd add that too.


I was watching the Simpsons on Friday or Thursday and I noted that they gave out Homer Simpson's email address. (Can you see where this is headed already?)
So I took note of it and forgot about it until I found it while looking at my phone and deleting old messages.
So I plan to email Homer right now and see if he replies.
I'm thinking of it as a scientific experiment, but after that I'm going back to curling up on the settee watching the Cricket and dying.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Oh dear oh dear.
We'd been getting on so well, I was shy as I normally am, around new people. But making an effort to be giggly and fun. We found a Scream pub for dinner and then went on a pub crawl of Greenwich, touring nearly 7 bars, and as far as I can recall 9 drinks.
Eventually I steered us into the Cricketeer's Arms.
We had a drink there and then another one and then some lads tumbled in, I took to them immediately, because they were cheeky and full of it, talking the barman into doing tequila shots with them, they reminded me of my lads.
They brought me and TY'U a tequila.
I've never had tequila before and I was doing ok, on the drinks i'd been downing, enough to make a reasonable account of myself.
Salt, shot, lime.
Uuuurgggh! Oh my God. It was foul! The sympathetic barman brought me the water that I begged for.
I went to the bar to buy the next round for me and TY'U.
One of them then provided us both with some thing that contained vodka and some kind of orange shit, it tasted like a Terry's Chocolate Orange.
I can't handle shots to save my life at the best of the time so resorted to water and lemonade after that. TY'U and Random Barman were very sweet checking i'd be ok to get home.
Then TY'U kissed me. And we kissed until I realised this was not what I wanted and begged him to put me on the bus heading home, which he did so, after a lot of kissing.
Now I'm hoping that he was as pissed as me and it's all gonna be good, God only knows I've got enough shit without that.
Today I'm going to meet MSNy type friend!
I'm quite excited and nervous.
He reckons I should be able to spot him easily cos he's very tall (6'3).
How funny! I'm at least a foot smaller than that, I told him I may have to wear stilts to be the same height.
Obviously he knows that I'm not a high heels type person!
I need a name for him, so let's have a competion and i'll leave it up to you guys to decide from the information I've given you in the previous post!
Don't forget that I mainly use initials to talk about people!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

I love drunken blogging.
Its such a shame that spelling seems to go out the window though, but it's all good.
What's not good is attacking your brother's terrified mate and forcing him to dance round the living room to "wake me up before you gogo."
1 - I totally love the "recover post" option, admittedly it seemed a lot funnier, 4 driunks ago. and I rthink mmmbop is starting to lose the novelty value. I suspect it may be time to turn to I am the one and only. or go to bed, but that's all the way upstairs and this couch looks mighty comfy.
2 - I have a new MSNy type friend, he supports the mighty addicks too. Yay. what a shame that he is 19, the same afe as the brat, and he's a dick. the Brat. not New MSNy type Friend. its kinda off putting
3 - I'm really bored with my blogger template layout. so far I've been attempting to update with with the thingy that HYde USED,. it didn;t work, so I resorted to drink to see if that would help me undersstand it. If I have a hangover in the morning. I'm blaming Hyde.

so in summary. I'm not a computer geek. and I love the recover post option.
How wicked is the Tony Christie song?
I am incredably fond of a nice bit of cheddar. (Its the reason why, I've just listened to Mmmbop 6 times in a row) and I love the video to it, its set as a cheesy 70's cop show or something and it has Hagrid in it! (ok, Robbie Coltrane Spoilsports!)
And it's made by "Amarillo Productions." And I can't quite remember the other bit but its something to do with "forMaria"
How legend is that?

Sleep like a baby,
my little lady,
Dream till the sunrise creeps into your eyes
Dream till the sunrise
Turns on the day.
In the Avenues and Alleyways while you sleep
there's a whole world coming alive
Abel and his brother,
fighting one another in and out of every dive
The Avenues and Alleyways where the strong and the quick alone can survive
Look around the jungle see the rough and tumble
Listen to a squealer cry
Then a little later in the morning paper
Read about the way he died.
Wake up my pretty
Go to the city
Stay through the daytime
safe in the sunshine
stay till the daytime turns into night.
In the Avenues and Alleyways
Where a mans gotta work out which side he's on
any way he chooses chances are he loses
no one gets to live too long
the avenues and alleyways
Where the soul of a man is easy to buy
everybody's wheeling everybody's stealing
all the low are living high
Every city's got em
can we ever stop em
some of us are gonna try.

Honestly it's ace (I promise to stop making my posts anto Hyde-length propertions, as of the start of next week)

Saturday, July 09, 2005

"Yo! You better be ok and not gone up to London today" STF
"I rather hope you've not been in The City." The Sheep
"I've just got off my plane (in Israel), heard about the bombs, so worried for you." MH
"What's going on down there? I've just seen the news?" TP
"Please tell me you're not in the City." The Lizard
"I'm so frightened by it all, God only knows what it must be like for you lot." CL
"If you don't wanna come up to Derby at the end of the month thats fine, but I'll ebay your present if you don't." Cheers STF!!

Funny thing was I wasn't frightened, a little shocked yeah, but I've grown up with the threat of bombs from the IRA as have probably most other Londoners. My uncle M narrowly missed becoming mincemeat from both the Baltic Exchange bombs, (having just left work) and the London Bridge bomb (realised he'd left a paper at his office, went to get it, returned to find the station bombed) both in 1992.
There was all the nail bombs in 1999 by that crazy nutter dude. You become a little oblivious to the "Keep an eye on all unattended packages" signs that you see on London buses, that freaked MH out while she was visiting.
I don't like the City, Its too crowded, noisy and dirty for me, so I've always felt safe this side of the river, where its quieter, greener and more peaceful although we've had our own bombings in the Docklands and in Woolwich.
(I've tried to Google the story that my Mothership has always told me about them difusing a bomb in the Barracks when I was just a few days old and living on Hillreach. I can't find any info, is this just a tall tale or is it true? I do know they bombed a pub there in the 70's.)
I wasn't frightened, I felt and feel safe in my corner of London and set my attention on firstly checking in on Uncle M and then returning to the Cricket, as I get bugged by News24 and the others repeating the same little bit of news every 10 minutes but keeping the Internet running in order to keep updated.
I've told people along in Derby that an attack was inevitable, which has been thought by many other people too but you heard rumours about how a terror alert was foiled in Heathrow and other such stories and you hoped that meant we'd escape.
CCR has put all kinds of dire warnings on me using public transport again but I plan on going to Derby at the end of the month as planned. I'm not sure if i'll be able to use Kings Cross Tube Station as I normally do but we'll work around that.
God only knows how many more bodies are yet to be accounted for.
The latest accounts are of 50 killed and 700 injured with so many more unaccounted for. I extend my sympathies again to those injured and those breaved.
Most people I talk to are of the same mind, they've been through the Blitz, IRA bombing and God only knows what. People have left flowers for the dead and injured and left messages to the terrorists.
“You think you will defeat us? Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London, I’ll show you something to make you change your mind.”
"Yesterday we fled this great city but today we are walking back into an even stronger, greater city. The people who did this should know they have failed. They have picked the wrong city to pick on.” Underlined. "London will go on.”
E has a friend who is Muslim, living in Peterborough, she text her to check she was ok, and has said about being afraid to go outside in case she is tarred with the same brush.
I sent her a text, joking that I was going to grass her up. But how many other innocent people are now out there worried? I've heard on the news about a mosque in Liverpool being targeted by some nobhead.
I've just seen this on the news too. I'm hoping its a false alarm, God only knows there's going to be a few of them now.
I trust that they'll catch the cunts and bring them to justice, I'd say kill them but I think that'll just make them hero's to the other nutters out there.

I joined an agency yesterday! They were very confident about finding me some part time typing work, so fingers crossed for that one!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

A statement from the Mayor

This was a cowardly attack, which has resulted in injury and loss of life. Our thoughts are with everyone who has been injured, or lost loved ones. I want to thank the emergency services for the way they have responded.
Following the al-Qaeda attacks on September 11th in America we conducted a series of exercises in London in order to be prepared for just such an attack. One of the exercises undertaken by the government, my office and the emergency and security services was based on the possibility of multiple explosions on the transport system during the Friday rush hour. The plan that came out of that exercise is being executed today, with remarkable efficiency and courage, and I praise those staff who are involved.
I'd like to thank Londoners for the calm way in which they have responded to this cowardly attack and echo the advice of the Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair - do everything possible to assist the police and take the advice of the police about getting home today.
I have no doubt whatsoever that this is a terrorist attack. We did hope in the first few minutes after hearing about the events on the Underground that it might simply be a maintenance tragedy. That was not the case. I have been able to stay in touch through the very excellent communications that were established for the eventuality that I might be out of the city at the time of a terrorist attack and they have worked with remarkable effectiveness. I will be in continual contact until I am back in London.
I want to say one thing specifically to the world today. This was not a terrorist attack against the mighty and the powerful. It was not aimed at Presidents or Prime Ministers. It was aimed at ordinary, working-class Londoners, black and white, Muslim and Christian, Hindu and Jew, young and old. It was an indiscriminate attempt to slaughter, irrespective of any considerations for age, for class, for religion, or whatever.
That isn't an ideology, it isn't even a perverted faith - it is just an indiscriminate attempt at mass murder and we know what the objective is. They seek to divide Londoners. They seek to turn Londoners against each other. I said yesterday to the International Olympic Committee, that the city of London is the greatest in the world, because everybody lives side by side in harmony. Londoners will not be divided by this cowardly attack. They will stand together in solidarity alongside those who have been injured and those who have been bereaved and that is why I'm proud to be the mayor of that city.
Finally, I wish to speak directly to those who came to London today to take life.
I know that you personally do not fear giving up your own life in order to take others - that is why you are so dangerous. But I know you fear that you may fail in your long-term objective to destroy our free society and I can show you why you will fail.
In the days that follow look at our airports, look at our sea ports and look at our railway stations and, even after your cowardly attack, you will see that people from the rest of Britain, people from around the world will arrive in London to become Londoners and to fulfil their dreams and achieve their potential.
They choose to come to London, as so many have come before because they come to be free, they come to live the life they choose, they come to be able to be themselves. They flee you because you tell them how they should live. They don't want that and nothing you do, however many of us you kill, will stop that flight to our city where freedom is strong and where people can live in harmony with one another. Whatever you do, however many you kill, you will fail.

Cheers to everyone who came by to check I was ok.

My uncle was finally allowed to go home and even managed to get to Sevenoaks.

I'd still like to know the whereabouts of R even if he's working somewhere local and hasn't been to "proper" London since 1981.

And I'm very glad that I don't like London and the crowds and the tube and didn't go to Hyde Park like I was planning too before I woke up and saw the rain and went back to bed.

And I hope all those in hospital come home soon.

And that they catch the cunts that did this.
Cunts, spoiling my day!
Being South of the River, I feel quite safe by it all, although some of the pictures I've seen on TV have been disturbing as they're quite close to where I've gone to get my train to Derby and near my job interview, and especially hearing people have been killed and injured by it all.
I'm waiting to hear from my Uncle M. Last we'd heard he was trapped in his office waiting for the police to evacuate him (although that sounds a lot more dramatic that what it actually is - blame my families keeness on adding any availble bit of drama possible to a situation) and organising a naughts and crosses (tic tac toe Americans!) tournament!
I hope everyone else out there is ok.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

WE'VE GOT THE OLYMPICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

would anyone like 76 (they're all counted and numbered) GLL notebooks?
My Brat has liberated them and they're looking for a good home.
So it's Bye-bye Konch!
And Hello Gerrard?!
I wish!

Monday, July 04, 2005

You're lucky I'm here at all!
I spent yesterday stripping wallpaper.
It was the kinda waterproof stuff so I was chucking a hell of a lot of water at it, the water then dripped down and into the plug socket which started growling at me!
I then decided that I should try and dry it to see if that helped and I swear a blue flash of lightening came out and tried to hit me!
I decided there and then, that my dream of becoming a professional wallpaper stripper could stop and I'll go back to dreaming of becoming a JCB driver!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Why do they stick cartoon shows on this late? Kids I hope are in bed, so they don't need to see them.
I figure they should stop with the crap cartoons* at this time and put decent ones on, from when we were kids, like Mysterious cities of gold, and Trap Door and Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors.
Catch the drunks coming in and you'll have them hooked for hours.

* Of course we make allowances for the awesomeness that is SpongeBob Squarepants

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Bloody Hell! How exciting was that cricket?

3 comebacks in one game! I have no fingernails left!

Shame Freddie and Pieterson and in fact most of the front order seemed to cock it up and it was left to the Collingwood and Jones to start repairing the damage and the tail enders to fix things!

Can't wait for the Ashes in two weeks!