Hello All!
How was your weekends?

I have tales to tell of waking up in a strange place, a gobby tenner and a sentence that possibly should never be heard.
So make yourselves comfy and I shall begin my tale.

Firstly, getting up to St Pancras was easier than I thought, hardly any commuters about and hundreds of police.
Got picked up by STF and taken back to the flat that he's sharing with A and T (T&A, hehehehehe) met R, well My R, perhaps he should become Irish R to differentiate from him and our R?
Anyway, he then took me to Sainsburys' where we brought a trolley full of booze and ice.
And then set about filling their bathtub with it, I've never seen a bath, filled to overflowing with ice, cold water and a LOT of drinks, but it rocked!
so we started drinking, I only had two, and then someone handed me a pint glass filled with something that tasted like lime but i'm assured was 70% vodka.
Yeah.... I stick to girly alcopoppy drinks cos I know I can handle them, so downing that, was possibly not one of the best decisions I'd ever made in my life. Then I drank another two drinks and begged STF to wear his Trilby and Afro wig, of which they're are many dodgey pics, although I reckon I look gooood!
Anyway into town we trotted and into a club and I got some water and proceeded to follow orders and "dance like a cunt"
A worried me slightly, he's quite shy and reserved and doesnt normally dance even when he's outta his head (which is normal for him) so when he started dancing with me, I was amused.
Until E pointing out to me "I think he really likes you", which then made me feel awkward for a bit cos I love them all but as drinking buddies only.

And then we came back to STF's and sat around talking and then STF let slip that MH was coming home from Israel, when she told me she was going for 3 months at least.
So he took me aside to tell me that she was coming home cos she had a breast cancer scare, which scared the shit outta me, STF made me sit on the floor of their kitchen, I was pale and shaking and near tears, and then he said something about how she never told me cos she didnt want to worry me and I burst out that she never told me anything any more and when I did speak to her it was just to have a go at me I felt for being at home and the Carer's thing.
And I finished off dramatically with "I never asked for this situation and I'd give anything not to be in it!"
So STF pulled for a hug and that was it, out came the waterworks. And I sobbed my little heart out while A and STF took turns in hugging me and handing me tissues and listening and at some point it was decided that I was staying at E's place with her and her blokey, who is really sweet and both of them fussed over me when I woke in the morning, not sure how the fuck I'd got there or where I was, thankfully not hungover, but with eyes like grit, cos I'd passed out crying to myself (How girly and gay is that?)

So we're now onto Saturday, met up with STF at Macdonalds, where he told me A was still in bed cos he felt Rough As Shit, which I think everyone agreed with.
And then he proposed going to the Derby/Birmingham friendly and here's my sentence that will leave most football fans in shock, well it did me when I realised I was agreeing with STF when he turned to me and said. " Christ. Heskey's having an amazing game!"
So after the game (4-0 to the Brum) and we crashed back at their place, to have a little rest before going out tonight, and believe me, when you're feeling a little delicate the last thing you want is to be stuck between three hung-over, half-dressed guys, slumped in front of The Cricket, burping, farting, scratching their arses and occasionally mustering up enough energy to flick rude finger signs at Shane Warne and Brett Lee.

Saturday night now and we're onto what is already known as The Night of The Gobby Tenner.
J found a tenner on the floor. Rather than do the sensible thing of pocketing it, he drew attention to it and then dared everyone to gob on it.
Blokes. You are disgusting. And they wonder why I won't sleep with any of them!
So everyone did, including me. And then they spilt beer on it and then wanted to do the rockstar thing of setting light to it.
At which point V realised it was his.
"Oi you cooonts!"
The dare then was to pick it up, from its pool of saliva, pleghm and Carling. Having retrieved it from the floor, newly glistening and with a trail of spit hanging from the corner. V decided he didnt want it afterall and that we should put it on the wall and then have a spitting contest, 50 points for hitting it and ridicule for missing it.
This entertained them for an hour or so before deciding that who ever managed to spend it would become a Legend and win free drinks all night.
Which STF did.
The night carried on in the usual style, drinking, clubbing and then gate-crashing an Indian before retiring home and waking up in the morning to make the first trip of the weekend to Our Beloved Friary for breakfast/dinner and bunging me on the train home.

Phew! Now let's see what you lot have been up too!