so its time for Charby's end of year awards and review!
*Trumpets and drumroll*

Well, its mostly been a year to forget in this household, what with Dad's will he/won't he saga.
It started fairly brightly enough with the graduation, chance of a job working with fish and more driving tests but the first of what would be many, many rejections arrived and I decided to stop the driving till the New Year and life drifted into a dull routine of daytime telly and occasional trips to the job centre.
I also lessened my blogging activities, mainly due to the fact I had nothing to write about other than the day to day tales of the characters from Neighbours!
There was a few highlights mainly the adventure of meeting a real life Blogger in the lovely Flash, and a mild flirtation with the TY'U, who once he got over the shock of realising that I was female, proved to be a good fun person.
But surely the main event of 2005 had to have come recently in the arrival of my job! Wahey!
And now onto my awards!!!

Sporting Achievement of the year? Well there was the relegation of Palace, the Ashes win, but my moment of the year had to be the shock win at Chelsea, if only we'd been able to carry it on to not lose by 3 goals in 15 minutes against Blackburn!

Disappointment of the year? The fish job rejection, not only would I have been loaded it'd have been a quality job to do.

Person of the year? In "real life" it has to be E, survivior of many a daytime pub crawl, fellow adventurer on away game travels and all round top person.
In "Virtual land" It has to be you guys, you've participated in my little games of winning the prizes after reaching certain "landmarks", you've been here to listen, to give little words of sympathy and comfort and a giggle when things haven't looked too bright and you're all spiffing people! (and one day I may get round to adding Alecya and her plastic castle to my blog list!)

Now I'm glad the formalities are over and done, its time for me to sit around and wait for this god-awful year to go!

So how was your xmases?

Mines been a bit interesting and with the help of an email from Spins I decided to come and tell you all about it and let you know that I'm not dead, although the cold might be killing me off slowly!!
On my last post on the Friday before xmas I said about Dad going into hospital and the very bad atmosphere around here.
Dad continued to remain very bad tempered and had several rows with Mum about how she was "stopping him see his family" and "coming between him and his brother" which Mum would never ever do, none of us would do considering the way we feel about them!
After Mum did her storming out the hospital on the Friday act. Dad was also slightly confused about matters, as he begged the nurses not to let him out of the hospital claiming that Mum would beat him!
So Xmas eve I was very glad to shoot off to work for a couple of hours to avoid the atmosphere, which was very strained and icy.
Xmas day (which is a day that always, always depresses me) came and Mum wanted a lot of pictures of us, seeing as its more than obvious that this is Dad's last xmas, but The Brat hates having his photo taken, and pulled faces at the camera and stuck his finger up, (he too was in a mood over not being a big fan of xmas and likes to let all of us know that he hates the day.)
So Dad called him a "rude, inconsiderate, arrogant bastard as this was his last xmas" So The Brat stormed off upstairs and remained there as much as possible over the day.
I was angry at The Brat for not understanding and not putting aside his selfishness for one day and told him so and got told to fuck off for it, so I wasn't happy with him either!
So there was already two rows and an even worse atmosphere in the house and all this before presents got opened!
Then my Dad's brother came to collect Dad to take him to his mother to see his sisters as he volunteered and Mum gratefully accepted, still determined to have nothing to do with them and their hyprocisty (sp?)
After all, we all know that they only want Dad to say sorry to them for no reason that he needs to and they wont make the move to apologise for the way they've treated him over the last 4 years!
Anyway, that's all over and done with now and the next time I expect we'll ever hear from them is the funeral and then they'll never bother to get in touch again.
Dad came back from there in the foulest mood possible and I still don't know what went on there and we went off to Nanny and Granddad's (My Mother's family)
Dad was really tired there and his tiredness made him come out with some really rude comments which luckily I don't think anyone took any notice off.
Came home and he demanded to go out, I've said before how awkward I find that as I'm not always strong enough to pull the wheelchair out of ruts and I've said it to The Brat, but do you think he volunteered to go out? Course he didn't he went upstairs and played his video games.
Sometimes he makes me so mad, I spend a lot of time running about after Dad as well as helping Mum with the housework and going to work himself, Brat will only do something if asked directly and if there's someone else to do it he'll get them to do it.
Anyway Mum reckons its cos he cant deal with being around Dad and his illness, I maintain that its sheer fucking laziness as I have a lifetime of covering up for him and doing his household chores in an effort to keep the peace.
Came back from Dad's work and Mum had already hit the happy juice while cooking the turkey and we finally got round to unwrapping presents, there was very little festive cheer in the day and as soon as it was over I bolted upstairs to play online for a bit and to watch telly to be away from that atmosphere.
Everyone went to bed at 8 and I sat up drinking myself stupid in an effort to forget such an awful day.

HAPPY XMAS PEOPLE!

"So this is Christmas and what have you done?"

Arrgh! I fucking hate that song, its so depressing to remind me that I've done sod-all this year!

So here we go! The last couple of days Dad has been in hospital with another blood transfusion, they reckon he's suffering from slight jaundice which is possibly a sign that his livers packing up.
*sighs*

And the pair of them have spent the last couple of days in rows or tears, which isn't leading to a happy household!
Dad has decided he needs his family, which is fair enough really, except Mum can't forgive them for treating us like strangers, for helping to kill Granddad *Disclaimer, this is her opinion, not truth*
For ignoring us for the previous four- five years that Dad has been ill and this last year that we've known he's on the way out.
And now Dad wants to be friends with them and they dont want to feel guilty, except we all know that they won't do anything to help, not to provide help like Mum's family have done, to give time and a ear to listen too, they want to feel good about themselves and once he dies we will never hear from them again.
Mum refuses to be even in the same room as them, she feels it will be hypocritical to pretend to be friendly with them and we all know what she's like when her minds made up!
She's already pissed cos G gave Dad's hospital number to his Mum and she gave it too all his sisters who then rang all hours of the night he was in hospital, which pissed Mothership off cos he's supposed to be resting.
And when she came round and found R there she stormed out, which upset Dad.
So its been a fun household here!
Plus I have to work Xmas Eve (Grr!) and I've been asked to write a small speech for the funeral, cheery stuff for Xmas huh?

Never Mind!

HAVE A GREAT XMAS WHEREEVER YOU ARE AND WHAT EVER YOU DO!

Today was a totally different day from Monday!
Firstly its delivery day! Which means its busy, busy all day what with unpacking and restocking the shelves and chucking away the out of date stuff along with serving the public.
I was halfway through my 5 hour shift and starting to look forward to the idea of going home when a rabble of noisy voices drifted my way and five or six elderly gentlemen strolled into the shop, some of them had santa hats on and one had a strand of tinsel round his neck like a scarf.
They stopped by my taster display of crystallised ginger and eyed it suspiciously.
Finally egged on by Tinsel, one of the Santa-hats tried a piece.
"Ooh." He proclaimed. Obviously a good sign as they all then tried a piece and wandered over to me.
"Where's your Viagra hidden luvvy?"
Of cource I went into hysterical giggling, which further encouraged Tinsel who had by now discovered the kick to the ginger and was pulling some rather interesting faces, talking loudly about their viagra they trotted off to the dried fruit aisle and then returned with some packs of fruit,
I was looking for the aromatheraphy oils that have to be hidden behind the till and Tinsel asked if thats where his viagra was hidden and then told me he and his little gang were off to the pub with their fruit and nuts.
"Cos its Christmas sweetheart, and if you cant get pissed on Christmas then you might as well be dead."
One of the Santa-hats then invited me along to join them and as they made their way out of the shop Tinsel Said out loud.
"I think we've pulled there lads!"
What great people! They've left me with a smile on my face all day and then when I got home I found my Christmas card from Spins!
Thank you!!!!!!!!!

The Radio crackles into life!

"Oh my god!" An excitable and panicky sounding young man's voice comes over. "We need assistance urgantly in [insert shop name]. We have about 14 kids in here just ransacking the place."
Silence. Followed by a garbled message about how the police are on their way.
"Has anyone got too [Insert name of my heath food shop] yet? There was a report of a disturbance there?"
"This is [insert name of E's shop]. This is the security guard. We dealt with the situation."

A little later that day.
"Holy crap they've got a Quad bike of all things, please can someone call 999?"
They were right you know, a few minutes later I saw 5 kids riding the powerful machine down the middle of the street, terrorising the little old Grannies doing their Xmas Shopping.

Welcome to Woolwich when the schools are out!
Woolwich, I remember being slightly ok, a little shabby but with decent stores, as I grew older to go to their on my own with OF, it was starting to go downhill, with many poundshops opening.
Nowadays its probably 90% full of Poundshops with a few clothes shops, mostly doing the buy 5 for £2.99 kinda deal, a few other shops, the first Macdonalds in the country, as it proudly advertises, my shop and E's shop.
At the far end is the Lesiure Centre where The Brat works and at the other end is a fading market that has been there since a charter granted by James I in the 17th Century as the banner says.
Its full of chinese people selling dodgey pirated DVDs and many other not very nice people.
The kinda place where at night, you hide all sign of phones or wallets and walk briskly hoping not to be noticed.

Today was the First day of the Christmas holidays and was bustling mainly with kids, laughing and larking about.
Until a middle-aged Sikh or Hindu man came into our shop followed by 7 little shits declearing.
"We're gonna knife you man."
The Big Boss Lady exclaimed to me. "They've got a broken bottle" and rushed to confront them.
I'm still not sure about why they'd started on him, but from what I could make out he had brought a dodgey DVD from the Chinese who had laughed at him when he'd come back complaining that it was shit when the kids started picking on him.
They followed him down the road, barging him and calling abuse until he came into our shop, we chased the kids out who stood outside the shop laughing at him and then telling him that as soon as he came out they were gonna kill him.
E went round to get her security guard and some of the kids started making runs into our shop, stealing packets of dried fruit and running out with them.
Another came in and stood at the doorway refusing to move and called his mates in, as the security guard came they all came rushing into the shop brandishing the broken bottle, we slammed the door shut and tried to hold it shut as they kicked at it, yanked the handle and the three kids already in the shop tried to push us out of the way and yank the door open, there was too many for just four of us to deal with and we had to let them go out.
The kids hung around for a bit and then made their way down towards the other shop and then decided to trash the place.

Nice place Woolwich! Really looking forward to the next few kid-full weeks!

I've just been to see Chronicles of Narnia!
(Why isn't there a nice bus that runs from my house to the Cinema in Greenwich? I have to go right out of my way to go to Woolwich to come back again!)
I loved the books as children, and who else had to watch the tv series in school with the moth-eaten Aslan? And if I remember rightly, the leader of the Wolf Police, walked on hind legs?
I wonder if this means they are planning on doing the series with the rest of the books?
Why didn't they start with The Magican's Nephew which is the first in the series?
Best bit I think though was the little girl a few rows along who was absolutely entranced by the film and at the moment when Aslan is seemingly dead on the stone table, leapt to her feet urging him to get up and was clapping and laughing at all of it.
Remember when you were that excited by a trip to the cinema?

Anyone else faced with having a sibling that everyone remembers but don't know you?
A lot of people make the mistake that my brother is an only child, especially the new people that have been met while I was at uni which is kinda fair enough I guess.
When I was in primary school, I existed for several years with only the teachers that had taught me knowing who I am.
When my brother made the move from his special needs school to mine it took him three short months to be known by everyone.
Teachers, cleaners, pupils and parents.
Those who were in his class and had day to day contact with him, to those in the infants school, who were separate from the juniors, everyone knew my brother.
I suppose a lot can be put down to his problems, so thats why the staff knew him.
But its not great when people turn and realise suddenly that I was there too.
Today in Sainsburys we met a girl that I had known very well in Primary, and her parents were friends with mine.
Their first comment was "Oh you're The Brat's Mum!"
Then a catch up with Dad and all his problems and all the while I packed Mum bags and then paid for her, while the talk turned back to The Brat and how he was.
They talked about the girl that I had been friends with and Mum made the comment that she was about the same age as me.
"Oh you had another child? Oh yes, she was younger than The Brat? She must have came into the school when we left?"
"No she's 22, older and standing here."
"Oh yes, so The Brat's working in Woolwich?"

Fucking hell! Am I really that forgettable? And am I really petty to still be frustrated and annoyed by people assuming that The Brat is the only child?

I've got all my Xmas shopping done!! Wahoo! *Does victory dance around the coffee table*

I took Dad down to the standard today, its exhausting pushing that wheelchair down to there! All the roads are uneven and you really have to make an effort not to let him go careering off into the road!
You can't even go in a straight line cos you have to avoid the bumps so it takes twice as long as it should to walk down there.
I'm not too sure he'll be that keen to let me take him out again, as I refused to move out of the way of people standing in my way and if they didnt hear me when I asked them to move I drove straight at them. Idiots.
The slopes going down into the road are a pain in the arse too, the ones by the Royal Oak especially, they're surprisingly steep and then rise again really sharply which makes it hard to push along the road as I got caught in the rut, twice I nearly tipped him out, so I'm not sure he'll let me take him out again!

So now that I now have a full weeks' work behind me. (Off now till Monday! - Wahhoo!)
What do I think of it?
Its nice enough, I think I've mastered the till, although I spent little time on it today, I proudly demonstrated twice how to ring up reduced prices, and got in and out of the staff-only area with no difficulties.
Wednesday seems to be the busiest day out of the three so far as its delivery day, with hundreds of dairy-free milk cartons coming in, packets of fruit and nuts and pills! Oh its a druggies paradise is they got hold of those crates!
I had to be up at 7 - while it was still dark! Its been ages since that's happened!
I liked that as I was busy all day, where as the other two days have involved a huge portion of just standing around and the time drags, however the other two ladies have been really nice and chatty which makes it a bit easier.
I'm learning to trust the till a bit too, I still panic when I look at how much change I need to give out as it seems wrong and I should be giving more and today we ran out of nearly all the change which nearly made my brain shut down in sheer terror as I tried frantically to work how to get 98p's worth of change with only 10's and 5p's.
I do like it though, its the kind of thing I could do happily for a while without getting too bored with it, or being too flustered and rushed of my feet.

Today I learnt the following important lessons.

1 - Where the Sugar-free jams and chocolates are kept.
2 - How to do reduced pricing on the till - hardly any mistakes today! I'm getting better!
3 - The code to get access to the staff only bit.
4 - Possibly the most important part - how to get the clock up on the till, telling me how much longer until I get to go home.

Baby steps people, baby steps!

Working on a till is fairly scary stuff.
Not only do they have an enter key in the wrong place, so that when I press what is enter on a standard keyboard I get it wrong.
But I think I've got the hang of it, as long as I don't make a mistake - which has been fairly often - cos then I don't know how to fix it!
Customers appear to be strange people too, Woolwich has a lot of immigrant people living in it which terrifies me especially those with poor english or strong accents!
They also get huffy when they ask for something and I have to explain that I don't know how to do it, or where to find stuff yet.
And then throw a strop when you ask them for the correct change after trying to pay with a £20 note for something that costs £1.99, when you dont have enough change in the till, but they have the right money anyway. Bastard Cunts.
Anyway, I have to go back tomorrow so we'll see how that goes!!
I also got to see some of the nicer side of Woolwich after a guy came bursting out of M&S with packets of mince pies under his coat with a shop lady in hot pursuit, more braver than I'd be I think!

First day at work tomorrow!

I'm pissing shitting myself! Its like the first day at school, only worse!!

A particularly shit day (why does rejection, no matter what the form, always hurt so much?) brightened up momentarily as I escaped home to toddle down to The Valley.
I wasn't expecting a thriller or too much, Sunderland's losing streak is only a bit worse than ours and I was discussing the chances of them ending their losing streak against us - Come on you all thought it too!
Not too sure on the tatics of removing what I thought to be our best players on the day with Hughes and Bartlett though!
Still a win's a win and it's always nice to see Super Clive!
Full report here!
And another goal for Bent!

I forgot to add the little comment that the Job Centre lady said to me as I left today.

The thing with me is that I'm a terrible giggler, I giggle at everything happy or sad, especially if I get nervous and if I'm angry it only takes a little funny face to get me giggling, which isn't always a good thing, as it doesnt show how angry I am and prevents me from making quick comebacks.

Anyway, I was talking to the Job Centre Lady and she were talking about the carer's allowance and then I was telling her about the job and she asked me if I'd ever worked in a shop before and I shook my head.
"Wow" She remarked. "They must have been desperate to take you on."

Fucking Bitch!

Today I went to the job centre for hopefully the last ever time!
Last time for sitting in that queue, full of other spongers! Yippie!
Instead of being stingy about the money that they give out they were practically begging me to take it! Mad aint it?!
Anyway, they paid for me to have a new pair of trousers for work and then tried to give me money for bus fares.
And then a cheque for £25.
I am no longer offically Dole Scum!

So my news?

I am now employed for the Christmas period and possibly beyond (If I suit) in [insert name of Well Known High-Street Heath Food Place here]!
So not even related in the faintest to my degree and its only 15 hours a week so crappy wages but still!
I am no longer a scrounging scumbag!
I go for training on Monday, which is scaring the shit out of me, in case I can't learn to manage the till or to push the herbal things on to people, and I have tests to do to learn what they all do!
See! It's a shit thing but I'm very excited!
Plus the woman knows all about Dad so thats all a bonus and being only 15 hours a week means I still get to spend lots of time at home helping Mum to care for him.
Yahoo!

Spins I've been getting "You're shit" vibes from everyone as long as I can remember but never mind.
I went out Xmas shopping with me Nanny today (the alzhiemers one) She held up a pair of size 16 trousers.
"Oooh [insert real name] These should just fit you, they might be a bit tight."
Suspicious by the size of them I look at them closer.
"Nanny! They're size 16!! I'm size 8! They're massive! I could fit into one trouserleg!"

Talk about an ego boost!

*Claps hands and bounces*
I CANT wait to tell you guys my news.
But we gotta wait and be patient and as always my lack of "go-me" vibes is pulling me down, I'm gonna fuck this up, I know I am. It might be a simple thing but my God I'm having panic attacks about it already. I'm not gonna be able to cope, I know I'm not and I'm gonna get laughed and and hassled and shate apon.
I wish I wasn't doing this, and you're all gonna laugh when you see what it is I'm getting all worked up and scared about.
I wish I had more get up and go about me and was able to ignore the "you're shit" vibes that everyone gives to me always.
Shitty hell!!! Hurry up with the end of the week already!

Considering all that's been in the papers locally about safety at level crossings, lets have a round of applause for the couple, who having noted that the gates were down at the crossing at Charlton with the warning bells going, STILL decided to walk - not run - across the track and not bother going across the bridge and the instant they had crossed safely to the other side a train shot by heading towards Woolwich.

If you've come this way to read my review (And I don't know why you would) of today's game and read about how we snatched defeat from the jaws of... erm... defeat.
You'd be best going elsewhere, cos I'm gonna pretend that us losing 5-2 never happened.
And if any of you dare to question exactly how many games we've lost in a row now, I'm gonna hunt you down and batter you to death with a wet lettuce leaf.
Incidently Weenie, did you notice Darren Bent has started scoring now you've transferred him out your dream team?
And we got Wednesday away in the FA cup! MH was very overexcited and after I told the Brat that A had a box there, he's excited too about us sitting in the box, when I haven't even asked him!

Ahem, moving on now, is it good news that comes in threes or bad?
Cos by the end of this week coming up, I hope to be able to tell you Good News #2 (remembering that Dad's arm getting better is #1.)

.......... No I've still not managed to explain how a team can be 2-0 up and coasting and then in the last 15 minutes throw it away to lose 2-3.

Not sitting in the very back of the Upper North again though! Far too high and scary!