Too hot!!
Go 'way Sun!
Come here Clouds!

Hurry up Autumn!

Jedburgh Castle Jail.

I also went to Kielder, Englands most remote village! 35 miles to the nearest shops???!!!

To the bird of prey centre there, and saw a nice owl.

This is a Red Kite, one of the country's most endangered birds - and fact fans this is what Kidbrooke is named after, being originally Kitebrook, until people went round killing all the kites and destroying the area.

And this big bastard Vulture was cute, he came up to my knee easy and ran around the centre hopping away happily.

Phew!
I'm home!
Been travelling from 11am to 7.30pm!
I've had a fab time learning all about sheep! What a tup is and a gimma and how to recognise suffolks, and Blues and what happens if you cross them.
And I did did some touristy stuff, visiting an old castle/jail and a bird of prey centre. (I'll show pics tomorrow, although I doubt they'll interest anyone but me!)
And I've come to the conclusion that I can't live anywhere without a summer, I refuse to believe that wearing thick coats in August and bedsocks, like some 90 year old granny counts as summer!
And I missed us win The Cricket and the Football! Gutted.
And also absolutely shattered.
Night night!

Going on holiday today!

I went up to see Greenwich and Bexley hospice.
Dad has been investigating it, part of the "Where am I going to kick the bucket" discussion, WE want him at home, but obviously it may not be possible, so did we want him in a hospital or in the hospice, as he needed a blood transfusion so we went there.
I hated it.
It's set out really nice, all flowers and big grounds and a huge, fat, fluffy cat pottering round the grounds but it seemed to make it worse, to me it's a place where people go to die.
I know you can say the same thing at a hospital, but its different there. I didn't like it, surrounded by dying people.
No. Its a horrible, sad place no matter how they try to jazz it up, and don't get me wrong its a nice place, in nice grounds with nice friendly staff.
But its a place where people go to die.

Yesterday summed up in points....

Good.
1 - J came online! I've not seen or spoken to him since we were in York last, thats like 15 months ago! Whooo!
2 - Virtual dates! Hehehehe.
3 - Going on holiday tomorrow! Yippie!
4 - I have a prospectus for evening classes at Woolwich college, my brain is rotting. So perhaps doing my GCSE maths again (although there will be lots of tears and frustration involved if I do do it) and possibly a Alevel in psychology will stop it rotting.

Bad.
1 - Dad had to stop in hospital over night as his blood count was so low the doctors wondered how he was still vertical.
2 - I spend so much time in this seat in front of the computer that I have developed a mighty fine ass groove in the settee

Hahaha!
Take that spammer cuntflaps!

This morning it is cold and grey and rainy.
A autumn is coming kinda day.
My brother showed up in a pair of shorts, nothing else.
"Shitty hell its cold today."
He returns 5 minutes later, still dressed in only a pair of shorts but with a hat on his head.

We won! And the weather held out!
Hurrah! 2nd in the league and Spurs being top means that Dad was in a happy mood too when I got home!
What drugs has Chrissy Powell been taking?? Two oh-so-close shots with those headers and that other a bit more hopeful shot but still!

Chelski Vs Arse today...... I think I predicted a Chelski win, but I'd prefer a draw.

Chrissy Powell! The Legend!

Urggh.
How is it possible for one person to get so much sleep and still feel tired? Maybe its a stress thing?
----
Today is the first home game of the season!
There's something special about that and the atmosphere, if only it didnt look like rain! 1st game should be in terrible, bright sunshine!
I'd like to be confident about today, but how good were Wigan against Chelsea? I could well see them getting an early goal and us struggling to get back into it!
----
Dad is having a bad day, when he has a bad day he gets very stroppy and grumpy, I think pre-illness I can count on one hand the amount of times he's lost his temper. Since the illness, well in the last few weeks really, he's lost it over trivial stupid things.
OF who I have known at least 17 of my 22 years has never seen him get angry and she was so shocked by him grouching over the way that I pulled the curtains.
When he's like this its hard to remember that it's not Dad, My Dad's happy and jolly and so laidback he's almost vertical and I hope its just the drugs making him this way and that the cancer never reaches his brain.
---
Off to the football now! Hurrah!

Having a bad day.
Yesterday was a write-off due to heat exhaustion, resulting in me sleeping all day.
Today is grey and rainy and I'm depressed for no good reason.
Back to bed I go, comforting myself with some peanut butter toast and the Extended LOTR series.

Nude pics were here........ but have gone again!
You were too slow!

Hurrah!
Nude pictures have arrived!
I was gonna post the less nude ones so you could admire the funky make up job but you cant see those as clearly. So no picts for people to see, even though they are very, very funky.
I

What a fucking nightmare!
I've been trying to book flights to Edinburgh after finding out that my trip home from scotland involves stops and bus rides at Stevage to Welwyn Garden City and then to Kings Cross.
But all the flights cost in excess of £150 quid! I'm not that far out of my overdraft!
So I'm spending sunday 28th on a train and GNER are shite trains. I loathe them.
5 fucking hours on a train when I could have flown in an hour and a half.
Bastards.

I went to see Charlie and the Chocolate factory!
I was a bit gutted there was no "oompa-loompa-doobie-dee-do" song but on the whole I think I like it better than the first one.
Apart from the dodgey flashback bits and the last 5 minutes at the end. That was bad.
I then came home and proceeded to drink an obscene amount of alcohol and then went to visit blogs so if anyone has dodgey comments. I apologise now.
I'm offically out of my overdraft today!
Yahoo!
I'd like to thank all the relatives that contributed to birthday money presents and all the taxpayers out there that provide me with Jobseekers money and Carers allowance.

To celebrate this, I'm going on holiday - again! This time for a short break in Scotland to visit TP who I also have not seen since January and TJ since November!

I'm also bouncing round the house, humming "We are top of the league! We are top of the league!"

What a birthday, not only are we top of the league but Bent's been called up to the England squad!
And look at my amazingly cool poem that Spinsterwitch did for me!

Who is Charby
It is hard
to give voice
to what is not fully fleshed
in my mind -
to piece together
who is Charby
when all I have are words on a page.

It is a whirlwind of:
cranberry juice
failed driving exams
footy
and fending off the impetuous R.

Then I saw that picture of you
sitting in the sand,
in the sun -So happy,
like you were playing with the world...
And I sawthat spark of joy,
distilled,
and knew that
was the spark of you.

Is that not just the funkiest thing ever! I love it so much and the fact that she actually took the time to think of something for me!

Now I'm scooting off as I have more relatives to tour and cake to eat and drink to drink!

Thank you all for birthday wishes! You all rock!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been drinking, sadly I'm not that drunk but I plan on saving my alcohol for tomorrow.
WE won!
We're top of the league! We rock!

My dad's disintergrating.
His left lung is partially collapsed and his bottom rib is eroding away.
Anyone got any sellotape?

I accidently-on-purpose lost some drinking games at OF's 21st. She's has the most gorgeous akita puppy, I'm not sure of the spelling.

Tomorrows my b'day! yippie-de-fucking-do-dah!

I have the most awesome poem to share with you,!
A poem just for me about me from Spinsterwitch!

Its not the best thing for an already highly emotional Charbs to be getting as it caused a few tears but it's absofuckinglutly awesome.

YAy.

Its a happy, happy, joy, joy day in our house.
Driving Instructor no4 has buggered off with my ID (remind me to tell you about the woman in Bristol who thought I was 14!) which means I'm incapable of finding myself a pub or spending my hard-earned(!!) money on booze, or ice-cream or even peanut butter toast.
There has been a huge row over me wanting to give up on the driving and the folks STILL think they can make my decisions for me.
Dad has got some scan results back, actually he got them back Tuesday and I only found out the results cos I happened to be in the same room as them and the phone.
So new growths in the liver, right lung and new growths in his neck where previously it was cancer-free, so it's bye-bye to the majority of drugs and hello to Depression!
And seeing as I'm the one at home, guess who's getting all the stick?
Oh the joy.
I brought home a job to apply for from the Job centre.
"Why are you going for that? You won't get it."
I think spending the weekend in bed, watching the cricket sounds like a good plan.

R I'm pretty sure its Hadfield. I even looked it up on google maps and everything.

Ok. Here's the answers to my questions posed earlier.

1 - Billy. Its a settee (or a set'ee), occasionally a couch if we're feeling posh. Although we do own a sofabed. And I don't mind where it goes as long as its in prime TV position.
TV's in the bedroom rock, just so you can wake up in the morning and read TellyText and watch the cricket (and I loved watching the Korea World cup in bed, wake up, watch a match, go back to bed, wake-up, watch another match, get breakfast, watch that in bed with breakfast all without getting up!)

2 - Spinsterwitch1 - David Attenborough, just cos I'm sure he could tell amazing stories about the places he's been and the animals he's seen and Orlando Bloom for something good to look at.
And Dogs are better than Cats.

3 - Sunshine - I'm not a bloke so when I met Flash I didn't take much notice of his arse. However I'm sure that like the rest of him, its very nice too!

4 - SpinsterWitch2! - Yes, we get fog, not as bad as in the olden days when there was smog warnings but we do get fog. Derby was very good for fog, and it'd come down very quickly, making it unable to see across the street, like a little cloud had come to sit on the ground, very eerie and mysterious, I loved it.
I've never seen the Queen I'm afraid, she's always been out when I've doing the tourist bit at Buck House, and I think I missed her when she came to Bexleyheath not long ago.

5 - Flash - I think I'd like to have invisibility, so I could sneak into places, Oh! and the power to fly so I don't have to rely on public transport.
I think on the whole I'd use it for goodness, but of course, you can't be good all the time!
My superhero name would be SuperCharby - as I am lacking in imagination, or Invisi-girl! Defender of the good, and Stealer of Ice-cream.

Failed again.
I'm just crap.
2 minors and 2 majors.

Here is my trip to Bristol to see CL in pictures. (more or less)

This is part of the open top bus ride that we took from Weston Super Mare to the beach. Right along a cliff edge!!!!

Bye-bye Internet anonymity (Gone now! - kinda.)

We paddled on the beach! Hurrah!

We even made a mini Stonehenge!

Tuesday we went to the @Bristol Exhibit, lots of fun sciency things to play with (including a hamster wheel!) and a rainforest walkthrough.

We Rode back on the Clifton Suspension Bridge.

Today, we went to Wookey Caves, unfortunately I wasn't allowed to use Flash photography there, so I couldn't take pictures of the amazing underground waterfalls, the water was incredibly blue, like proper tropical water blue and I couldn't take a picture of the witch.

Now I'm back and wish me luck cos its another driving test day tomorrow!

Well, that turned out to be in between of a huge giggle and possibly the most embarrassing thing ever.
I had the most fantastic bruises and cut lip and another on my boob.
I'll post a few of the better non-nude ones when GT sends them this way, but they will only be up a maximum of 24 hours before coming down again, so get your peeping eyes ready for when they are up (and i'll give warning.)

Tomorrow I take a trip to Bristol, to visit CL and UDOBF.
I shall be back wednesday night as its driving test number 10/11 (depending on your point of view) on the Thursday.

So let's leave you all now with a game, my version of Ask Flash. Only obviously it'll be Ask Charby.
Anything you wanna ask, I'll answer with the obvious exception of real names and addresses. So until Wednesday, say 7pm. Post any and as many random questions as you like and I'll try and answer.
Have a great week all!

I hate being a girl.
Actually, I hate more the effort that seems involved in it.
Yah boo sucks to the person who came up with hair removal cream!

(Incidently I'm doing my posing on Sunday!)
I'm toying with the idea of putting up the ones that ain't nude.
The theme apparently is "Bruises" and I'm getting a proper make-up artist thing like you see on Casualty or ER and getting cuts and bruises and making out to be a battered housewife!
I'm well looking forward to that bit, although I'm still a little unsure of what I've agreed to do!

Go here.
And play.
Its not as bad as the last link, promise!

I went to Greenwich Park today! The little boats were out on the pond, I went in one of those pedalpaddling ones and my legs were like jelly afterwards! and then I had to walk up the hill!
My legs feel like they may drop off!

We were quality.
Yes. We rocked, I have so much confidence and anticipation for the new season now!
Darren Bent Rocked, Ambrose and Murphy looked like they were linking up well and Smertin has dead funky gold boots!
And Chrissy was back! (although I scowled at the bloke behind me who was yelling out comments about zimmer frames!) I waited especially after the game to see him come running out of the tunnel! He so rocks!
We were definately the better side!
I was so gutted though that the Dutch fans didnt sing in Dutch!!!
Hurrah! Bring on the new season!

Go here...... If you dare.

Turn your speakers on.