Monday, March 10, 2014

I think I'm really spinning into a bad time. I feel distance from it all, mild irritability at everyone. There was nothing for me to have for breakfast or lunch today. Had to eat out. Mother told me to eat Boys crumpets. I refused. That makes me as bad as him and I will hold onto the moral high ground as much as is possible.
Did little work today, dicked about online. Tried to get Welshy to show some enthusiasm in a groupon deal to get SAGE qualifications.
Failed as I knew I would.
Confirmation of my blood test for the medical trial.
Came home, sat in the bath and read an entire book for two hours. Came out and then tried to get my shit together for riding tomorrow. Except there's huge tears leaking from my eyes. Because I can't find my black jods? I don't know. I have at least two other pairs of jods.
Huge tears, without sobbing and pain in my chest and stomach. I feel like I've eaten too much junk and am going to be sick.
I wonder sometimes what it would be like to be one of those people who sail through life without any problems or dramas. I wish that was me and I feel bad cos hundreds of people the world over would wish to have the life I live.
Urgh. I will go to bed early and then hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. It will be a better day because I will be going riding and it means Welshy will be home in 4 days.

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