I hate people, I keep coming to the same conclusion.
I am not a people person, I find it hard to talk to people I don't know very well, although being in uni has helped slightly, but im still madly shy.
I hate the way people can mess with your head.
Like my parents today, Mothership rang me all excited because she got tickets to see HP3 - which we have been waiting for, for ages only she got them on wednesday. The wednesday Helen is coming to stay and we are going to see Ireland play.
This is my fault because I told her Wednesday would be ok, I don't remember this, I have a notoriously bad memory so maybe I did, I don't know.
I just remember her telling me she would try to get them for Thursday and I may have said Wednesday and Saturday I am taking Helen to Ireland, I may have said Tuesday, I dont recall.
Anyway, I now have to pay for mine and Helens tickets - cant ask her too, she didnt even want to see Harry Potter3.
I now have an awful image that maybe I did say to Mothership that, that day is ok, I just dont remember.
I know that I have bust her bubble as much as mine is bust cos I so wanted to see it and the tickets are non-refundable.
I KNOW she is sitting at home, telling Dad that I'm useless, that I got grumpy with her down the phone like it is her fault, when it was mine.
I hate people, I hate the way they can get me feeling so physically sick like this, not knowing if it is my fault, 98% sure that it ain't. But there is that 2% that isn't.