Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I think i'm all caught up in the general gloom about at the moment. I'm disappointed about my trip to India being cancelled, well postponed indefinately and I'm finding it hard to summon up any enthusisium for finding another adventure.
Work at the moment is pretty shite. Well more shite than normal. There's fewer visitors, cos the weather, economic climate (despite us being free) and its always dead this time of year anyway. But being alone all day with nothing to do to keep you pre occupied does strange things to your mind. I made a film in my gallery on my phone today.

I find this time of year hard anyway.... too many memories I guess. I had to take my Granddad to the hospital last monday for his chemo as all the rest of my so called caring aunts and uncles claimed they were too busy to take the time off.

I hate that room. I hate the reclining green leather armchairs. I hate watching the clock and counting drips from the bag of blood or drugs slowly flow through the arm. I hate the relentless cheeryness of the nurses that work there. I hate being there. Thinking about all the times Dad sat there, how ill he was and how ill he'd be before he'd get the blood and how the blood'd perk him up for a bit and then he'd sink again. I never wanted to return to that room. I spent the day dealing with circular conversations and then trying to sort out his medication and feed him and my increasingly insane Nanny and I wonder why this is happening again and where in the world it is fair.

I came home and shouted at Welshy over nothing and I've been in a foul, tired gloomy mood ever since. I hate Christmas. I want to sleep it away.

1 comment:

Cody Bones said...

Merry Christmas Charb's I hope you have a great 09