Christ today has been awkward.
The Boyfriend appeared this morning when I was getting ready for work. Clearly spent the night here and they snuck in after everyone had gone to bed. Avoiding my brother. Very Grown-up.
So awkward introductions over my peanut butter toast. Mother telling the story of how newpony booted me at the start of the year and apparently I'd put on my limp as there was no bruise at the time until a couple of days later and i wasn't limping the next day.
Because people like to walk around with buckling legs and pain that even codeine can't take away.

So yeah. Whatever.

After work we were going to tea together with Mother's friend D - who incidently shares my concerns. I hardly knew where to look.
Only once did I ever see her hold my Dad's hand, when he was sickest and hallucinating. Never did I see them kiss, or touch.
But they were holding hands, they kept hands on each other knees, there was kissing, and touching and all those little sickening moments between new couples.
And. Yes. I found it harder than I ever thought I would. I could barely look at them.He tried to patronise me with some silly question about what I'd say in an interview - He said his answer was perfectionism. I said that was generic and I'd talk about my Maths.
Not sure he liked that.
Way home and D told me to get her number off of Mum which made me suddenly feel sad and weepy - obviously I didn't show it.
On the way home and we were listening to his CD. I asked him who the biggest thing he'd recorded for was. He told me. I'd never heard of them. Told me the next people. I'd heard of them. Didn't like them.
He didn't like that.

Meant to be preparing for an interview tomorrow but tbh I feel really shaken and upset and I know its pathetic.