I've been on a bit of a bender lately.
On Wednesday I had to go to some stupid meeting thing at work, talking about how to give talks to the public, we played some silly bonding games, like WinkMurder, I was the only one who knew this game, but I was also the only one there under 40 so maybe its a new game!
Anyway, we then had to do this exercise of telling our life stories.
Urk. I hate telling mine, I hate the idea of sympathy. People at work know my past but only in a throw away sense.
I was gonna give the much edited version of it, when the guy who was leading this exercise interrupted the start of it "I was born in Greenwich Hospital, just 10 minutes walk from work"
With: "Oh so you're the boring saddo who's never left Greenwich in their life"
Which upset me greatly, fuck it still rankles, and the only way to deal with that was to go into heavy stupid detail about listening to Dad die, to having him threaten to hit me, when he went insane and the horrid smell of death and every horrid, pointless to share little detail, about how I tried to get my life back on track again and then got stuck here after my Mams car accident.
I hope I left him feeling a little abashed and ashamed of himself. God knows I'm not here still through lack of trying!
Anyway, this effected me, maybe its the time of year as well, but I started drinking heavily that night, cried myself to sleep and then prepared for our work xmas party the next day, where again I drank stupidly heavily, danced in bare feet across the Great Hall, screaming "I PREDICT A RIOT" to the office staff, trustees (including a peer of the realm!) and curators, who were until then quietly enjoying mulled wine, mince pies and quietly piped carols.
Ooops.
It had a pretty great night, I went with 3 other lads that I work with, who all took it in turns to be my perfect date (one even stole me a rose from the table decorations, didnt have the heart to say I don't do flowers) We got hammered on cheap drinks, danced like loons and I have several drinking injuries to prove it was a good night!
I got up and went to work last night, still sulking over that stupid comment and how shit I viewed my life to be, went to the pub (AGAIN!) with guys from work, and set about drinking heavily again, the lads that I'd been out with last night, were sipping coke and suffering quietly and there I was drinking two drinks to everyone else's one and it all ended dramatically when I suddenly got an attack of the Girly Weepies, disappeared subtly (I hope) to the toilet, cried heavily for a couple of minutes, drunk-texted Welshy with a very dramatic "My life is shit" text and then returned to drink some more, with people none the wiser!
Hurrah! Luckily sanity has resumed today and I'm having a sober day!
We're escaping London tomorrow to go to Devon, no one wants to be at home for Xmas so I'm having a sneaky sicky and we're staying there till the day after Boxing Day. It'll be remote and quiet and peaceful and not a trace of christmas about!
Bah Humbug!
Hope you all have lovely Christmases' and I'll be back on Friday!