I've felt very guilty about the gaps in blogging.
I miss venting on this.

I took a bank loan to clear my overdraft. I feel really good about this, bizarrely its a good move (I hope) yes I've dipped back into it by about 200 pounds, but I got things I have been waiting and needing for ages. Like new back tyres, like new bedding (mine was more hole than sheet), I bought more food than actually needed so I can start to replenish supplies.
I was quite cross that there was a week in August that I bought a pack of four loo rolls. When we ran out, I literally had no money to replace them. We went through them in a week. I bought a back of 16 this month. We have used two. How do you figure that out?
Now I need to remain sensible. I obviously have to pay it back, its spread over 16 months, a realistic figure to pay.
I still need things. New brake pads are the most pressing outstanding item, but I'm going to do that in the November pay run. I've been picking up little bits of overtime each month - each little bit would be enough to cover the months repayment, but its still a doable figure should I not get that bit of money.
In February I foolishly booked flights to Grotty thinking I would be out of debt and could afford a Spanish exam and intensive course. Well of course thats not the case, but I'm going to use this months little bit of overtime to pay for the Spanish course and Mother and TMWMitW are going to also chip in for it.
Its such a weight off of my mind knowing I can buy food now, and not necessarily yellow stickered food.

 I bought daffs and tulips for the Grave, its made me sad to think of it neglected, and I thought that, being annual plants it would be ok but I've since found out that there are plans for a whopping slab of stone over the top. So I started to dig over the front garden. A project that has been neglected since we moved in - Sometime around 1998 - Its a hard slog and I struggle to find time, but I plan on planting a border and hopefully getting some turf to make a lawn.

I want to tell you the story of my Grandparents. I'm thinking of signing up to ancestory.com or similar to see if I can find out more.

It is hard now that there is no one to ask - but they were of the generation that didn't talk of their feelings or emotions - but theirs is an interesting story, of child-loss and working in mines and being sent to fight in Korea, of mother and baby care homes.

I will make it in Word I think and then it will be easier to edit and then I shall record it here.

The dog is doing amazingly well at her flyball. I love it, I love her. The horse nearly got sold and then came back again and now L has realised she needs more than she is getting at the current yard. I am currently losing riding mojo- I always do at this time of year when the nights draw in and the thought of mucking out and riding in frost and dark for months and months is almost too much to bear.

TP and TJ visited and we saw the Harry Potter Play. It was good, the effects made it really, storyline a bit naff but I'm keeping the secrets for those who haven't seen/read it.

Welshy is back in Russia. He was home for a bit over the bank holiday but now is gone again. We still talk semi-regularly, send each other Facebook links to things that may amuse.

I am starting - no I am lonely - but I dont understand how people meet people nowadays, nor how people have time for relationships. I made a timetable tonight, to try and use my time more effectively. I have genuinely scheduled weekend naps.

I don't particularly want a relationship either, but I want the person who has my back bit. Someone I could talk to about everything and anything, that endless conversation.

until then I have ice cream and I've learnt to make cheesecake and I have a dog asleep on my lap, what with that and vodka, who could ask for more?!