Still alive I see?
Here I am to tell you about my trip to Vegas.
My Christ what a tiring place it is. A week, I found far too long. Welshy wanted to return home after 4 days. A friend just kept saying about wanting to go home and do the ironing.
Too many lights. Too much attacking your senses. Too much happening.
I liked the colours and lights. Cant get sick of those. Got attacked by Gamblor when it came to virtual Craps. And I played Roulette - a tenner on black. Didnt come through. Learnt how to play poker and won 80 dollars which pleased me.
I spent the money on cute underwear from Victoria's Secret. I like how they think I'm a D cup there.
We hired a muscle car, a chevy comarao and drove to the Hoover dam, We took a plane ride to the Grand Canyon. (how is it that all I can use to describe it sounds cliched? Its amazing. Awe-inspiring. etc.)
I rode a mustang western style-y along and saw a coyote.
We ate buffets at the Bellagio and Monte Carlo and ate sea food at Hurrah's. I challenged a friend and won a mechanical bull ride.
Me and Welshy fell out.
I got drunk and accosted a US Marine who looked far too young to be wearing the medals that he was "Did you get that one for colouring in? And knowing your 2x table?"
"No M'am. I got those for service in Iraq and Afghanistan."
My bad.
I brought amazing socks and lost all track of time and place in The Venetian and Caesar's place. 
I ate carrotcake cheesecake.
Me and Welshy dodged a bullet and didn't get married.
A strange Mexican stole my friends coat and then got drunk and passed out, the security at Monte Carlo put him to sleep in my friends bed. My friend and said Security guard beat the Mexican up when the mistake was realised.
I ate shitloads of macdonalds and discovered Denny's and decided I hate the way you have to add the tax on separately. I dont know how much tax is and if it changes for whatever you buy.
I hated tipping everyone. You've not provided me with superb service, why should I give you extra?
I watched the New England Patriots in Hooters (Big let down FYI)
I still think American Football is a stupid sport.

I did not sleep at all on the plane home convinced that if I did it would fall out of the sky.

Now I am back in sleepy Spanish Bumpkinville and its only 3 weeks till Xmas.