yuck.

Today I was busy adding to my talents at the museum, by offering my services as a "buddy" or a mentor to the summer newbies. Only the girl it turned out that me and one of the older guys that I was shadowing, used to go to school with me.

And whilst never one of the ringleaders of those that were mean to me, she always freely joined in. I hate this, I hate that, ten years on, I still don't feel comfortable in Eltham, I hate that I saw her today and got that awful sinking, "oh no" feeling.

Its awkward trying to explain the bullying that I got at school, if it was the traditional beating I think I could have coped with that more, but being ostracised, isolated the way I was, its more mental bulling I guess, the way they'd stop conversations to stare as I went by, the way they'd all move to another desk if I came and sat there, or moved as far away as I could and pretended I wasnt there, the refusal to work with me if it came to group coursework etc...

Seven years I endured that silent bullying, of course there was the more traditional name calling but that mostly always washed off of me, where as that stuck. How do you at 12, or even up to 17 when I left, deal with day after day of that treatment? with name calling or days of silence and evil looks if I was unlucky enough to be forced into a group that resulted in them getting split up from a mate?



So no, I wasnt best pleased to see her and less pleased to realise I'd be working with her, spending the day with her. She doesnt seem to have changed much, when we were at school, she was always quick to correct the teachers, if she felt something was wrong, or should be done another way, and it was the same today. She clearly feels the job is beneath her and was asking about how quickly she could apply for other roles in the museum, about how she could contact the curators/education staff. About the wages and seemed horrified that I'd been there almost two years and how little I was paid.

My manager, who is lovely came out of a meeting with her and instantly remarked "She will be trouble"

I'd like to think she's grown up from what we were as kids, but I also think I'll be avoiding her as much as I can in the mean time until one of us leaves!