Cruising along. Still stupidly poor - if it wasn't for the council tax and housing benefit nonsense i'd be 600 pounds away from the end of my overdraft. If Boy paid me what he owed me then I'd be currently 80 pounds away.
At the moment i'm 9.30 away from it. Payday is next Wednesday. I'm depressed about this. I've lived on a strict 70 pound a week budget most of the month but yet I don't seem to be getting anwhere.
I want to go on holiday. I want to renew my season ticket. I can't afford any of these things

Puppy starts classes on Wednesday, Welshy is away currently and I've signed up for a combined training competition with the horse. We jumped 65 semi-well over the weekend. I'd like to get up to 70-75cm and do the one in June as well. We'll see.


I went with Nan to get a bone scan done after her fall. Poor Nan, she couldn't cope with it, sat in the chair in a little world of her own, humming and with her hands over her ears. Tried to escape from the xray room. And yet those idiots say mum is cruel by denying her days out with the home? None o them came or showed any interest in going to the hospital despite standing up in court and lying that they had a plan in place for when mother couldn't come, and that she was shutting them out. They all had two weeks warning about this, none of them even had the decency to say "sorry, we're on holiday."

Wankers.

So we won.
A pretty hollow victory. It should never have got this far and gives all the signs onlf it being just 1-0 at halftime.
We got there at 9 but didn't meet our barrister until 10, mis communication meant he didnt know we had arrived.
Despite being told it was only to be uncle I and mother inside, all of the fuckers showed up. I kicked up some fuss so they allowed me in as well.

The judge allowed I to have first say but kept interrupting him to ask him to stick to facts and not suspicions.
All of them tried to have their say though. They were mostly ignored.
I held mums hand, tried to ignore both her and my shaking and increasing anger. It is one thing to read lies, but to have them presented to a judge as facts is another.
It mainly boiled down to three things. That mum had failed to inform them she was doing the deputyship. We had a chain of emails where they had all discussed that mum should do it. Mother had assumed that the courts informed the interested parties but apparently they don't. At least we had the emails to say it informally though.
They argued that mum had not informed them of nan's finances. Of which she does not have to do, her role involves protecting nan and if she does not want to reveal figures then she does not have to.
That Mum does not communicate anything with them.
Considering that two of them have physically attacked her and as we've seen lie, she addresses them all via email and text. Best to have written details.
Finally they argued that Mum in Spain hinders and stops her role.
The judge then did his summing up.
Yes mum had assumed that the courts informed but equally they should have assumed it was going ahead. (Lets pretend I never dictated anything down the phone to me in how to fill the form in.)
That mum being in Spain has no effect on the main part of her role which is looking after finances.
And finally. That she submits accounts to two different auditors to check finances and they have never EVER needed to question anything.
So yeah fuck you.
Case dismissed. Mum was scolded for not informing everyone properly. She (or rather Nan's money) has to pay her fees. Not their costs.
So game over. Except I fear not. Clearly hinted at was a threat that they suspect Mum to have taken Granddad's finances and thats fraud and that i fear is their plan b.
So as i said last night. We nap, we regroup and now we make a plan b just in case!

So tomorrow we go to Court.
I hate this, the waiting, the anticipation. Feeling powerless and wanting someone to step in and fix it for me.
I wonder if people in the War felt like this? Perhaps its me being too dramatic.

Welshy drunkenly last night tried to reassure me that I'm strong, and I laughed at him. Being strong would be able to find an answer for all this without it having to go to Court, I have too many days where I crumble under it all and huddle under the duvet and try to sleep the days away.

Dad's illness.
Dad's death.
The fallout
Mother's accident.
Looking after her.
Looking after Boy and failing miserably on that account, still being unable to reach him despite my best efforts.
Looking after Nan.
Looking after Granddad.
Being caught up in the middle of Mum and Boy's disintegrating relationship.
Learning of Boy's stillborn daughter.
Years of jobs that I hate or feel waste my time.
Welshy's mental illness/es
Losing my job when Granddad died.
8 Long, long dire months of unemployment.
Losing my job again in Bedford.
Now going to Court, to defend Mother and Nan against parasites. My own family.

I have never dealt with any of these things as a strong person would. I've allowed myself to get swept along, to cry and be weak instead of remaining solid, silent, impartial.
Someone strong would have dealt with it all better, I'm certain.
Do they genuinely believe that Mother is unstable? That she has used Nan's funds for her own gain? If she has I wouldn't be so far in debt!
What if Court believe the tales of a man up to his neck in CCJ's? A man who tried to remortgage the house into his own name? The lies of a woman who moved her son, into the home, mere days after he died. A person who has not worked since leaving school. Someone who has done time for drug offences?
How to fix the problem should they do?
Mother is mentally unstable. She has had two breakdowns, but yet she has always, always done her best for Boy and her parents. To lose this will destroy her.
Me? Well our relationship is well documented on here, how she relies on guilt trips to keep me compliant, how I feel ambivalent towards her, how I struggle to when I have years of being told I'm worthless, that she would have had boy and not me, but I put all that aside as I always do to look after her.
I cannot protect her from this. I cannot protect myself. If she should lose, she will lose all her savings. The house will need to be remortgaged or sold. What will happen to us all then? Boy clings to here as the last thing he has of Dad. I cannot afford a home for me, Welshy and my animals.

But. If we lose, we dust ourselves off and start again. That's all we can do, all I have done for the last 11, 12 years.

So we try to sleep, and we try to prepare ourselves mentally, because thats all I can do, and all I've ever been able to do, just face the day when it comes, look after everyone and then burrow away to recover again and prepare for the next crisis.

But. If there's someone or something out there who can fix all of the shit in my life I would be very grateful to know exactly what it is, or what I can do. I'm tired of dealing with it all.

After a week of incredible poorness I got paid! Yay Me! Slightly less poor, I'm going to be super strict this month, with a budget of 70 quid a week, that should cover petrol, food, animals and anything else that may occur.
I have to pay 150 back to the Housing Benefit people - but! Boy owes me 97 pounds currently, so that would be a large chunk of that. Of course he needs to pay me for council tax as well this week. So that probably will go up even more....

Court is on Monday and its suddenly all real and scary. I'm 95% convinced it'll go our way, if it doesn't... Well it doesn't really bare thinking about. Mother will have to pay a minimum of 9k to the solicitor and barrister, and then I's costs as well and Nan's quality of life and money will drastically decrease as well.

I'm not going to think about that. I took Pup to the woods today and that was fun, she is starting puppy school on the 9th, is insured with us and we're underway getting the microchip in our details.

Riding is going well, slowly slowly getting there, really hoping that I'll be in a position (financially!) to do some shows over the summer.

They announced a new ISA to help you buy a home this week. We're going to try our best to make use of it, but I don't think it'd be enough for a deposit in London at all!!!

I got a dog! Whoooo!

She's a nice little working bred cocker spaniel. Woman we took her from was an idiot so lots of basics being installed and hopefully puppy classes being signed up for.
She came into season so been a bit blurgh cleaning up mess but hopefully that should be over come Tuesday/Wednesday.

Mother came home Boo. Had to confess about dog, she wasn't too impressed. Blamed it on Brat. We all know she won't say anything to him. She is going to court over Nan on 23rd. Sigh. All being well it should be dismissed out of hand and uncle I will have to pay all costs but there's still that risk.

I got told I shouldn't have been given housing benfit when I did and now have to repay 405 pounds, I got the letter yesterday, and deadline is tomorrow... I don't have that. Brat hasn't yet given me 109 for council tax. so I need that back. Gotta try and call them tomorrow to arrange installments.

I need him to pay me as am pretty poor. Hopefully I can arrange a payment plan with the benefits people and then I can start to save. I wouldn't have taken on the dog had I known this was lurking around the corner obviously.....

Hurrah! For some reason I'm getting paid a lot more money than I expected from the job this month so I don't need to panic about trying to live for 6 weeks on 300 quid. Its practically a full months pay which'll take me about 250 away from actually clearing my overdraft.

I'd like to be in a position by March where I've only spent half of that, but realistically 3/4's is more to be the case, cos of this stupid housing benefit mistake but even so March payment will take me out of my overdraft and there will be a few months of dipping in and out of it but hopefully by Summer I'll be clear again and able to pay off a lot of my credit card debit, I might even deliberately keep myself in my overdraft and pay off 2-300 pounds of it at a time simply cos the interest rate is so much higher than if I cleared my overdraft first.

Hurrah for options and being able to save a little again!!!!

I got made perm at work! Woo! Would have liked it to be in a few weeks time so I could have saved up a bit more to cope with the transition of weekly to monthly payments.
But having a real job is more important really and the security that entails. Money's not much better than when I left Greenwich but i'm hoping I can go for the promotion they're talking about funding dependent and make it better there.

I was super excited as I had cleared all my debts and just needed to start work on the overdraft when a letter came through that I had been mispaid 405 quid of housing benefit that I need to figure out how to pay back. Will be March 22nd when I get a full pay packet so. YUCK to that.

Welshy and I are planning a Baltic and Russian adventure in July and hopefully I'll have a bit of money by then. St Petersburg, Finland, Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania await (not necc in that order).

Spanish lessons continue apace and Mother goes on the 20th and hopefully dog arrives after then and Welshy on the 28th.

Keeping the minutes for the meeting wasn't as bad as feared. I just barely kept up and thats with her going slow.

At least I know that if it came up again I could give it ago, but I'd want to learn Shorthand before volunteering for anything else!

Took Mother to pub quiz last night, I raised subject of us having dog. She said it wasn't fair on me to emotionally blackmail her then launched on her tiresome and endless self pitying lectures and wailing over Brat.

URGH.

Nan had a good day today by all accounts, we are going to a meeting tomorrow about the possibility of her going back to the care home in the next few days. Physio needs to be arranged though and it needs to be one who can specially deal with dementia patients.

Had a lot of crazy vivid dreams last night. One waking me up convinced that I was having a conversation with Mother. Another about a swimming pool and someone shitting in it, they didn't have an arse and it came from their leg? Oh and by the way the pool was on a train.

Seriously something not quite right there.....

If anyone can interpret dreams I'd love to know!

Happy Birthday Welshy! He is in Austria. Probably getting shit-faced now. I'm at home watching Spurs and Sheff United in bed. I'm in bed, they're not btw.

Work is going ok, I have to take minutes at a disciplinary, nervous about that. I got Brat an interview at work and I'm taking interviews for the next couple of candidates. I know he will be called for a second interview and its very hard not to say anything, same as its hard not to say anything about this minute taking nonsense to my work colleagues.

I jumped my biggest ever jump at the weekend, so super excited about that and had a great lesson on Tuesday so really bubbling at the horsey side of life at the moment.

Mother is still here and Nan is still in the hospital, they think she has a skin cancer lesion and are trying to decide what to do. They reckon they'll be able to do it with a local anaesthetic. Knowing Nan as we do, that's not going to happen. You can't get it into her head that she can't do anything and a general anaesthetic will set her recovery back (She's had a little walk on a frame but today was a bad day so no walking).
No idea when she'll be able to go back to the care home so still no idea when Mum will go and therefore no idea when Dog could come. Really conscious that i'm taking the mick with it and I don't want to feel like i'm taking the piss with her as its not the intention at all. But hey ho. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. We just have to take each day as it comes.

And that's about all that's happening in my world really. Just taking each day as it comes, hopefully i'll hear at the next trustees meeting on the 10th more about my permanency but tbh the longer it drags out the better for me at the moment as I get paid weekly and it means I can claw myself slowly back from the edge of that overdraft limit where as I don't have enough at the moment to keep myself going until I'd get a months pay.

Went to see a lady in Colchester about adopting a 10 month old Cocker on Saturday gone. Went really well and we all drove home and went to the casino at the Hippodrome, had a really good Groupon deal, Surf n Turf, cocktail and 10 quid worth of gaming chips for 20 pounds.
Fun night, Welshy liked dog and we agreed to adopt her. Only Nan fell out of bed in the care home Sat night and broke her hip.
Its no ones fault, just one of those things, I guess she got up and had a blood rush. They do take very good care of her in there.
But of course it means Mother has flown home in a panic, is busy annoying everyone, and avoiding all my other Aunts and Uncles and will be here for... Who knows how long?
Ideally Nan would be in a state to be released from hospital tomorrow. Unfortunately because of her dementia and Osteoporosis she's not in a state to be released. She's only just starting to get out of bed, let alone go to physio and is refusing painkillers and not really eating.
Mother doesn't know that we want the dog, we were going to just bring it home and have it here as a fait accompli.
Its not fair on anyone or Dog to bring her home in this state where no one can look after her properly, Mum hopes to arrange a meeting with the carehome team Monday and find out where they stand on being able to look after her, they do have a specialised nursing wing but not sure if they can offer that kind of support....
It could well be a month or so, and God knows if she'll ever be mobile again!

URGH! Just when life was getting near some sembalance of normality.

I've finally paid everyone (bar Mum) back what I owe, so can now work on clearing stupid overdraft and credit card debts. Work did offer me a fulltime job and I accepted but I don't know how long it'll take for the paperwork to go through. To be honest, as I temp I get paid weekly and the longer it takes the more money I have to use as a backup before it then goes to a monthly wage, so am happy for it to carry on as it is, for as long as it takes.
Its an ok job. I do feel a little bored by it, but I can settle, I can clear my debts, I'm close to home and it pays ok, not moving out ok (certainly not moving out in London OK!)
But I think I'm pretty resigned now that I'm trapped here forever, so I just need to stop rebelling with it and make best of bad situation (hence ignoring everyone and getting Dog)

The Council Tax people have made a huge fuck up and demanding money off of us, ignoring the direct debit plan we set up so that could set the finance thing back hugely, but hopefully I can get it all sorted in the next few days.
Then all we have to do is wait for Nan to get better hopefully (and everyday is an improvement, just a lot slower than someone who doesn't have her conditions) and then Mother can go. I'm optimistic that she can go next weekend. But realistically it may be three maybe four weeks. I'll wait and see what Mondays meeting results before I can go back to Dog Lady and give a report as to whether or not we are capable of taking her or if she may need to carry on looking as I feel she's pretty keen to get dog gone ASAP.

Welshy is now away until 28th Feb, which has annoyed me a little as he promised last year that was the end of it, but what can you do?

Certainly I'm in a lot better position than I was this time last year (if we ignore the money!) Hey ho. Life will go on and this is a temp setback in the plan of this year being awesome and reaching the rest of my Bucket List goals.

Urgh. Football was awful yesterday. Manager got sacked today. I'm not enjoying football now E isn't coming and i'm mostly on my own during the games.

Today is Granddad's anniversary. I can't post too much about it, except to say that Mother is being investigated and going to court, I fail to see how they can find against her, stupid aunts and uncles. I can't talk about it any more than that.

My friend fell off her horse today, smashed a panel on the fence and had horse run over her hand as he went off.

Ouchie.

Stupid life.

So here we are again. Another sad day for remembering and I don't understand how its 9 years ago now.

Still we get on and endure and wonder what he'd think of it all now. Of us. How broken and dysfunctional it all is.

I still miss him and dream of him and wish he was here, but life goes on as it still does.

My job at the community centre is getting made permanent and to celebrate this, we're meeting a lady on the 17th with regards to possibly rehoming her dog.

We'll see how that goes though.

Time for the end of year round up!

Its been a bit of a shit one to be honest! Getting sacked not once, but twice was certainly not on the plans this time last year. 

6 Months of unemployment was also fairly shit, as was losing Granddad at the start of the year, the ensuing kerfuffle and drama from that probably didn't help my chances of staying at the job in Tower Bridge.

Its still all very dramatic there, while working in Bedford, I learnt that the Uncles and Aunts had put in a petition to the courts to have mother removed as power of attorney for Nan as they thought that she was stealing her money. :roll:

Anyway, the courts laughed at them and threw it out. Its gone to litigators and I don't really know much more than that cos of course Mother remains in Grotty.

My cousin L who has been done for drug use is squatting at their home, although in the last few weeks its been put up on Zoopla, but then of course they can't do that without Mother (on behalf of Nan)'s say so, so yeah.

I wonder if anyone's collected Granddad's ashes cos in all their money grabbing I bet they don't care about that.

Anyway, if I find anymore out about that, it'll be interesting to record.

What else? Oh yeah, there was the well documented problems between me and Welshy. He calls it a "blip" now, his drift into mental illness and then struggle to regain control of it all. It hurt me greatly, I'm trying to forget and move on but its not that easy, I seem to also have gone a bit soppy and affectionate towards him, perhaps an attempt to hide my wariness of getting hurt again?

I've had my own issues with mental illness perhaps in no small part down to lack of employment - I find having a job definitely defines me as a person, makes me feel worthwhile.

Things between me and The Brat are interesting, we have had huge arguments which normally result in me backing down as usual, he's currently making a bit of an effort so we'll roll with that as much as possible.

But then as always, there's been upsides to this. Yes I was unemployed for ages and put myself nearly 4k in debt (mainly due to paying 2k to Mother in Rent, another 1500 in driving lessons and the rest on horseyness), but I had a LOT of interviews, in fact looking back, I had an interview at least every week, if not every fortnight bar May, so that helped the time pass quickly, and gave me hope.

I spent the time wisely, I learnt to drive. I'm not a good driver at all, but somehow I got through the test and have been out on the road since June, with only a couple of minor incidents. There's still a sense of amazement that I can finally do this! And it does make life so much easier! This morning I took Welshy up to Gatwick at 4am so he can go to Russia for work.

I also got to watch all the World Cup - still in my mind one of the best I've seen! I had lots of time for riding and took V to a schooling session at a proper competition venue which was super exciting!

We went to Salzburg and back to Bumpkinville which was such epic fun, foam cannons, showers of wine, Queen tribute concert, a Bullrun (not so fun) and finding out lots of people remembered us and showed us kindness there.

Now I'm employed back in Greenwich at a Community Centre, I have hopes it will be made perm again, there has been talk of that so fingers crossed but I've learnt not to get too hopeful.

I made a list of things to achieve before I was 30. I'm now 31 and I like to think had I not had this enforced run of unemployment - has I stayed at Tower Bridge for example I'd have achieved more.

1. Learn a different language  Still struggling on with my Spic, hoping to do a GCSE equivelant exam dependent on funds.
2. Pass my Maths GCSE 
3. Learn to drive
4. Live abroad for a year
5. Get my own Horse (If I get made perm at Greeny this could become achievable this year, I'd have the money for it [dependent on fixing up my savings and clearing overdraft] so let's see what my review end of this year says!)
6. My own home. URGH. I'm on the council housing list. I dont think it'll happen. Welshy is finally making talks about us saving for a deposit but yeah with London prices the way they are its not gonna happen quickly, if at all.
7. Leave London again.  I tried. I failed. This will be a goal that I'll never achieve, I realise that now.
8. My own dog. Watch this space!.....

So we're getting there slowly - would have been nice to tick these things off before 30 but at least I've achieved a few of them and I have hopes of being able to move on from them as well.

So. Its time to say fuck off to 2014, It was mostly a pretty shitty year. And let's say hello to 2015, now 3 days old, and Dad's (and now Granddad's anniversary) soon to come, Mother plans on marrying TMWMinTW this year, If I get made perm we have ideas for decent holidays and yes - maybe even tick something else off on this list.

So happy Christmas (belated) and happy 2015 all.  

 

Merry fucking Christmas!

Well its not been too bad to be honest. Skyped Mother as she had a fit of the guilts. TMWMinW was there in a onsie (seriously?) Sprawled in the most elegant way across the sofa, so I had a good look at what was keeping mother going.......
Turns out I gave only half the presents to Nan, that she didn't know where mine was and when she did remember they turned out to be Welshy's. Ooops. Still I got some socks and festive tacky jumpers so yay me. (wow reading that back sounds sarky. Its not intended to be. I love my socks and been a bit sad that I haven't had a tacky Xmas jumper of my own this year.)


I tried to make trifle as Brat requested it but I fucked up the custard part. So both him and Mother mocked him. I got told that I ruined the one part he was looking forward too. Feel bad. Sure the topping can be put on anyway and we can work around it.

He was out at the pub, helping until 3pm, helped me cook the meat and has now at 6.30 gone to bed. It was nice to have the company for a bit and he was trying. So we'll roll with it and try not to feel too bad that I fucked up for him.

Mothers friend spoke to me briefly on Facebook, suggested I become domesticated during my break from work. Of course she only has the opinion from Mother that I'm lazy, don't bother cooking or cleaning, when I'm the only one that does it.

That's put me in a bit of a downer. Fuck them all. I'm waiting for a chocolate cake to defrost and then i'm going to eat it all. And tomorrow I'm going back to rejoin the gym and I have football and riding. And then on Saturday I'm going to the cinema alone to see The Hobbit. I might even eat out there. And then watch Worlds Strongest Man. And then on Sunday I'm riding again. Monday I'm at work and Tuesday Welshy is back for a couple of days before going to Russia.

Keeping busy is what this bullshit is all about.

My time at the community centre continues to trundle on. Am off now for Xmas until 5th, unfortunately I dont get paid when we don't work and the council suddenly gave us a summons to pay as close to 900 as we can for council tax before 16th of jan or we're off to court. Divided between three of us its not too bad, only I'm the only one who's paid anything so far and that was just 100! Hoping to pay another 100 this week and then hopefully another 100 after that....
Annoyed that we got no information about it, everyone thought the other had paid it and it wasn't a problem and then suddenly to be hit with this letter....

URGH.

Anyway, Brat is making an effort - kinda - he produced a joint of pork so we're having that on xmas day. I'm preparing a trifle as we speak and hopefully it will be somewhat civilised.

Mother has an attack of the guilts and wants to Skype on Xmas day and then Boxing day there's football and riding so that's gonna keep me busy.

Went to Olympia last week, loved it, especially the met police ride, when a guy fell off and then a brush fence caught fire and he ripped his breeches!

Work mentioned making me perm, then next sentence was that it was tricky and I might have to "leave to come back" didn't like the sound of that.

I have till March to worry about it though. Once I get this council tax out of the way then I can start saving and repairing the precarious financial situation I am in and the more I can save before then the better should it go tits up!

So lets have a bit of an update!
I got employed again! I am now back in Greenwich, working at a community centre there. Bit of everything really, HR, Admin, Reception work, Social media whore. Only temp until end of March but the fact that I can walk there and get a bus back in the evening saves me at least 30 odd quid a week commuting fee and I get free lunches. Admittedly I still buy one once or twice a week but still that's another bit of money saved on sandwich filler and a snack.
I have my fingers crossed that it may go perm at the end of this but we'll see. At the moment I need it to clear as much debt as possible as Brat has failed to pay any council tax and the first we knew about it was a letter from them saying we're going to court in Jan unless you can pay a lump sum before.
Urgh.
So that's where next weeks wages are going... The centre closes on the 23rd for xmas and reopens on the 5th so will be a week without money there.
Welshy has been working in London but is now back off in Austria for the week and then a week in Russia. I wish I had funds to go out there with him. He's going to spend a weekend in Moscow before flying back.

Mother and TWMWM came back and finally replaced the skirting board they ripped up in Jan last year and fixed the doorhandle of my car. I went to Nottingham and met The Lizard (Who is pregnant!) and H2 before me and the boys went to see Forest play Charlton.

I'm signing up for a Horse Confidence course in Jan, this is the year I really crack the mental barriers that prevent me from improving. Sports psychology, learning how to deal with rears and falls that kinda thing. Its silly but a buck doesn't bother me at all nor naughty behaviour on the ground but a spook or rear when riding really knocks me and sets me back confidence wise and I never had that much to begin with.

Christmas will be me and The Brat. He's brought a joint of meat, It will be as painless as possible I hope. I'm too poor to buy anyone presents this year - especially now I know about this council tax thingy, where as I was hoping to get a few little bits and pieces before...
I still do Spanish via Skype, hopefully am improving slightly there. Would be nice to have enough to sit an exam in New Year but of course dependent on funds....

Ah well. Just keep rolling along and see what life brings.

Turns out I was going to be one of those awful people who go to peoples houses and try to convince them to sign up to a charity for a year or so.
I walked off. I got rejected from a museum job cos I wasn't right, they had a higher calibre of candidate. All it was, was going around doing talks. I did that for 5 years if you count the year at the aquarium as well.
Once again the possibilities of life seem very small and I'm wondering if the better thing is to draw an end to this mockery and sham of a life.
Welshy is going to Russia in Jan for 3 weeks.

I really don't understand how these things happen to me.
Amidst my spamming of Reed with my CV and covering letter I got a call from a lady who was from a marketing team.
I was puzzled as I didn't remember applying for anything with marketing, but I did find on there that I had applied for a job doing admin for a advertising company - Sports and Media, so guessed it was that.
Anyway, chatted on the phone, arranged to have an interview today - which I got lost trying to find.
I tried to research them on the interweb but their website is poor and vague at best, I'd already asked the lady who confirmed the interview to send me over a fuller job description which was also vague so I decided it must be the adminny thing.
So I got there and was presented with a form, past experiences, education blah blah blah.
"Why do you want this career?"
Well as far as I knew I was there to chase references and update paperwork, very office entry level stuff, so I wasn't sure what to put, made up some nonsense.
Got into the interview and found out its for Sales.
I've always steered well away from Sales, I don't think I have the personality for it. I'm not pushy enough. Too laid back.
"Says on the form you'd like the career to help you achieve personal goals. Like what?"
"I want a horse and a house. Not necessarily in that order."
I also managed to tell them I wasn't interested in career development or anything like that. It was clear to me I had no idea what was going on, it was a waste of their time and mine so I was honest.
"Yeah I'm not interested in that. I want high wages as a priority."
So I'm going back on Friday for a second interview. Apparently I charmed them with my personality(!) and the fact that I (modestly) gave myself 10 out of 10 for customer service skills....

I have NO IDEA what this is all about......

This week hasn't been too bad, I've scored two weeks temping which means I don't need to sign on "yet" well, at least until next Saturday!
It turned out to be 22 hours rather than the fulltime I was hoping for, but I just need 9 hours next week to be better off than JSA and it'll cover the bus fare for that week as well!
Hopefully some interviews will appear this coming week or week after. I had one Monday and I thought it had gone well, he kept correcting himself through out. "Not if I invite you back, when..... When you come back we'll go see this.... We'll talk about it next Monday when I show you how this works"
But I haven't heard back, dropped him a casual email today asking how he was and for feedback from my interview, hoping that its just an oversight or that he'll get back and say he's not got round to scheduling 2nd stage interviews.
Mother is home for a few days next week, hoping she'll buy lightbulbs, all the ones downstairs in the living room have popped and obviously I'm the only one who buys household shit and its a choice of me getting food or lightbulbs....
Christ when did life get so shit?!!

Interview Wednesday - Real one!
Felt it had gone ok, but haven't heard owt back so guess it didnt. Is it paranoid to think that my work history is the problem?
Drove to Wales and back over the weekend. So proud of myself and still in a state of shock that I can do this!
This afternoon me and Welshy are going to a museum exhibition and then for a meal out.
I was feeling perky about it all until I came home and had to tidy up after my brother.
Will I ever escape it all?