Keeping the minutes for the meeting wasn't as bad as feared. I just barely kept up and thats with her going slow.

At least I know that if it came up again I could give it ago, but I'd want to learn Shorthand before volunteering for anything else!

Took Mother to pub quiz last night, I raised subject of us having dog. She said it wasn't fair on me to emotionally blackmail her then launched on her tiresome and endless self pitying lectures and wailing over Brat.

URGH.

Nan had a good day today by all accounts, we are going to a meeting tomorrow about the possibility of her going back to the care home in the next few days. Physio needs to be arranged though and it needs to be one who can specially deal with dementia patients.

Had a lot of crazy vivid dreams last night. One waking me up convinced that I was having a conversation with Mother. Another about a swimming pool and someone shitting in it, they didn't have an arse and it came from their leg? Oh and by the way the pool was on a train.

Seriously something not quite right there.....

If anyone can interpret dreams I'd love to know!

Happy Birthday Welshy! He is in Austria. Probably getting shit-faced now. I'm at home watching Spurs and Sheff United in bed. I'm in bed, they're not btw.

Work is going ok, I have to take minutes at a disciplinary, nervous about that. I got Brat an interview at work and I'm taking interviews for the next couple of candidates. I know he will be called for a second interview and its very hard not to say anything, same as its hard not to say anything about this minute taking nonsense to my work colleagues.

I jumped my biggest ever jump at the weekend, so super excited about that and had a great lesson on Tuesday so really bubbling at the horsey side of life at the moment.

Mother is still here and Nan is still in the hospital, they think she has a skin cancer lesion and are trying to decide what to do. They reckon they'll be able to do it with a local anaesthetic. Knowing Nan as we do, that's not going to happen. You can't get it into her head that she can't do anything and a general anaesthetic will set her recovery back (She's had a little walk on a frame but today was a bad day so no walking).
No idea when she'll be able to go back to the care home so still no idea when Mum will go and therefore no idea when Dog could come. Really conscious that i'm taking the mick with it and I don't want to feel like i'm taking the piss with her as its not the intention at all. But hey ho. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. We just have to take each day as it comes.

And that's about all that's happening in my world really. Just taking each day as it comes, hopefully i'll hear at the next trustees meeting on the 10th more about my permanency but tbh the longer it drags out the better for me at the moment as I get paid weekly and it means I can claw myself slowly back from the edge of that overdraft limit where as I don't have enough at the moment to keep myself going until I'd get a months pay.

Went to see a lady in Colchester about adopting a 10 month old Cocker on Saturday gone. Went really well and we all drove home and went to the casino at the Hippodrome, had a really good Groupon deal, Surf n Turf, cocktail and 10 quid worth of gaming chips for 20 pounds.
Fun night, Welshy liked dog and we agreed to adopt her. Only Nan fell out of bed in the care home Sat night and broke her hip.
Its no ones fault, just one of those things, I guess she got up and had a blood rush. They do take very good care of her in there.
But of course it means Mother has flown home in a panic, is busy annoying everyone, and avoiding all my other Aunts and Uncles and will be here for... Who knows how long?
Ideally Nan would be in a state to be released from hospital tomorrow. Unfortunately because of her dementia and Osteoporosis she's not in a state to be released. She's only just starting to get out of bed, let alone go to physio and is refusing painkillers and not really eating.
Mother doesn't know that we want the dog, we were going to just bring it home and have it here as a fait accompli.
Its not fair on anyone or Dog to bring her home in this state where no one can look after her properly, Mum hopes to arrange a meeting with the carehome team Monday and find out where they stand on being able to look after her, they do have a specialised nursing wing but not sure if they can offer that kind of support....
It could well be a month or so, and God knows if she'll ever be mobile again!

URGH! Just when life was getting near some sembalance of normality.

I've finally paid everyone (bar Mum) back what I owe, so can now work on clearing stupid overdraft and credit card debts. Work did offer me a fulltime job and I accepted but I don't know how long it'll take for the paperwork to go through. To be honest, as I temp I get paid weekly and the longer it takes the more money I have to use as a backup before it then goes to a monthly wage, so am happy for it to carry on as it is, for as long as it takes.
Its an ok job. I do feel a little bored by it, but I can settle, I can clear my debts, I'm close to home and it pays ok, not moving out ok (certainly not moving out in London OK!)
But I think I'm pretty resigned now that I'm trapped here forever, so I just need to stop rebelling with it and make best of bad situation (hence ignoring everyone and getting Dog)

The Council Tax people have made a huge fuck up and demanding money off of us, ignoring the direct debit plan we set up so that could set the finance thing back hugely, but hopefully I can get it all sorted in the next few days.
Then all we have to do is wait for Nan to get better hopefully (and everyday is an improvement, just a lot slower than someone who doesn't have her conditions) and then Mother can go. I'm optimistic that she can go next weekend. But realistically it may be three maybe four weeks. I'll wait and see what Mondays meeting results before I can go back to Dog Lady and give a report as to whether or not we are capable of taking her or if she may need to carry on looking as I feel she's pretty keen to get dog gone ASAP.

Welshy is now away until 28th Feb, which has annoyed me a little as he promised last year that was the end of it, but what can you do?

Certainly I'm in a lot better position than I was this time last year (if we ignore the money!) Hey ho. Life will go on and this is a temp setback in the plan of this year being awesome and reaching the rest of my Bucket List goals.

Urgh. Football was awful yesterday. Manager got sacked today. I'm not enjoying football now E isn't coming and i'm mostly on my own during the games.

Today is Granddad's anniversary. I can't post too much about it, except to say that Mother is being investigated and going to court, I fail to see how they can find against her, stupid aunts and uncles. I can't talk about it any more than that.

My friend fell off her horse today, smashed a panel on the fence and had horse run over her hand as he went off.

Ouchie.

Stupid life.

So here we are again. Another sad day for remembering and I don't understand how its 9 years ago now.

Still we get on and endure and wonder what he'd think of it all now. Of us. How broken and dysfunctional it all is.

I still miss him and dream of him and wish he was here, but life goes on as it still does.

My job at the community centre is getting made permanent and to celebrate this, we're meeting a lady on the 17th with regards to possibly rehoming her dog.

We'll see how that goes though.

Time for the end of year round up!

Its been a bit of a shit one to be honest! Getting sacked not once, but twice was certainly not on the plans this time last year. 

6 Months of unemployment was also fairly shit, as was losing Granddad at the start of the year, the ensuing kerfuffle and drama from that probably didn't help my chances of staying at the job in Tower Bridge.

Its still all very dramatic there, while working in Bedford, I learnt that the Uncles and Aunts had put in a petition to the courts to have mother removed as power of attorney for Nan as they thought that she was stealing her money. :roll:

Anyway, the courts laughed at them and threw it out. Its gone to litigators and I don't really know much more than that cos of course Mother remains in Grotty.

My cousin L who has been done for drug use is squatting at their home, although in the last few weeks its been put up on Zoopla, but then of course they can't do that without Mother (on behalf of Nan)'s say so, so yeah.

I wonder if anyone's collected Granddad's ashes cos in all their money grabbing I bet they don't care about that.

Anyway, if I find anymore out about that, it'll be interesting to record.

What else? Oh yeah, there was the well documented problems between me and Welshy. He calls it a "blip" now, his drift into mental illness and then struggle to regain control of it all. It hurt me greatly, I'm trying to forget and move on but its not that easy, I seem to also have gone a bit soppy and affectionate towards him, perhaps an attempt to hide my wariness of getting hurt again?

I've had my own issues with mental illness perhaps in no small part down to lack of employment - I find having a job definitely defines me as a person, makes me feel worthwhile.

Things between me and The Brat are interesting, we have had huge arguments which normally result in me backing down as usual, he's currently making a bit of an effort so we'll roll with that as much as possible.

But then as always, there's been upsides to this. Yes I was unemployed for ages and put myself nearly 4k in debt (mainly due to paying 2k to Mother in Rent, another 1500 in driving lessons and the rest on horseyness), but I had a LOT of interviews, in fact looking back, I had an interview at least every week, if not every fortnight bar May, so that helped the time pass quickly, and gave me hope.

I spent the time wisely, I learnt to drive. I'm not a good driver at all, but somehow I got through the test and have been out on the road since June, with only a couple of minor incidents. There's still a sense of amazement that I can finally do this! And it does make life so much easier! This morning I took Welshy up to Gatwick at 4am so he can go to Russia for work.

I also got to watch all the World Cup - still in my mind one of the best I've seen! I had lots of time for riding and took V to a schooling session at a proper competition venue which was super exciting!

We went to Salzburg and back to Bumpkinville which was such epic fun, foam cannons, showers of wine, Queen tribute concert, a Bullrun (not so fun) and finding out lots of people remembered us and showed us kindness there.

Now I'm employed back in Greenwich at a Community Centre, I have hopes it will be made perm again, there has been talk of that so fingers crossed but I've learnt not to get too hopeful.

I made a list of things to achieve before I was 30. I'm now 31 and I like to think had I not had this enforced run of unemployment - has I stayed at Tower Bridge for example I'd have achieved more.

1. Learn a different language  Still struggling on with my Spic, hoping to do a GCSE equivelant exam dependent on funds.
2. Pass my Maths GCSE 
3. Learn to drive
4. Live abroad for a year
5. Get my own Horse (If I get made perm at Greeny this could become achievable this year, I'd have the money for it [dependent on fixing up my savings and clearing overdraft] so let's see what my review end of this year says!)
6. My own home. URGH. I'm on the council housing list. I dont think it'll happen. Welshy is finally making talks about us saving for a deposit but yeah with London prices the way they are its not gonna happen quickly, if at all.
7. Leave London again.  I tried. I failed. This will be a goal that I'll never achieve, I realise that now.
8. My own dog. Watch this space!.....

So we're getting there slowly - would have been nice to tick these things off before 30 but at least I've achieved a few of them and I have hopes of being able to move on from them as well.

So. Its time to say fuck off to 2014, It was mostly a pretty shitty year. And let's say hello to 2015, now 3 days old, and Dad's (and now Granddad's anniversary) soon to come, Mother plans on marrying TMWMinTW this year, If I get made perm we have ideas for decent holidays and yes - maybe even tick something else off on this list.

So happy Christmas (belated) and happy 2015 all.  

 

Merry fucking Christmas!

Well its not been too bad to be honest. Skyped Mother as she had a fit of the guilts. TMWMinW was there in a onsie (seriously?) Sprawled in the most elegant way across the sofa, so I had a good look at what was keeping mother going.......
Turns out I gave only half the presents to Nan, that she didn't know where mine was and when she did remember they turned out to be Welshy's. Ooops. Still I got some socks and festive tacky jumpers so yay me. (wow reading that back sounds sarky. Its not intended to be. I love my socks and been a bit sad that I haven't had a tacky Xmas jumper of my own this year.)


I tried to make trifle as Brat requested it but I fucked up the custard part. So both him and Mother mocked him. I got told that I ruined the one part he was looking forward too. Feel bad. Sure the topping can be put on anyway and we can work around it.

He was out at the pub, helping until 3pm, helped me cook the meat and has now at 6.30 gone to bed. It was nice to have the company for a bit and he was trying. So we'll roll with it and try not to feel too bad that I fucked up for him.

Mothers friend spoke to me briefly on Facebook, suggested I become domesticated during my break from work. Of course she only has the opinion from Mother that I'm lazy, don't bother cooking or cleaning, when I'm the only one that does it.

That's put me in a bit of a downer. Fuck them all. I'm waiting for a chocolate cake to defrost and then i'm going to eat it all. And tomorrow I'm going back to rejoin the gym and I have football and riding. And then on Saturday I'm going to the cinema alone to see The Hobbit. I might even eat out there. And then watch Worlds Strongest Man. And then on Sunday I'm riding again. Monday I'm at work and Tuesday Welshy is back for a couple of days before going to Russia.

Keeping busy is what this bullshit is all about.

My time at the community centre continues to trundle on. Am off now for Xmas until 5th, unfortunately I dont get paid when we don't work and the council suddenly gave us a summons to pay as close to 900 as we can for council tax before 16th of jan or we're off to court. Divided between three of us its not too bad, only I'm the only one who's paid anything so far and that was just 100! Hoping to pay another 100 this week and then hopefully another 100 after that....
Annoyed that we got no information about it, everyone thought the other had paid it and it wasn't a problem and then suddenly to be hit with this letter....

URGH.

Anyway, Brat is making an effort - kinda - he produced a joint of pork so we're having that on xmas day. I'm preparing a trifle as we speak and hopefully it will be somewhat civilised.

Mother has an attack of the guilts and wants to Skype on Xmas day and then Boxing day there's football and riding so that's gonna keep me busy.

Went to Olympia last week, loved it, especially the met police ride, when a guy fell off and then a brush fence caught fire and he ripped his breeches!

Work mentioned making me perm, then next sentence was that it was tricky and I might have to "leave to come back" didn't like the sound of that.

I have till March to worry about it though. Once I get this council tax out of the way then I can start saving and repairing the precarious financial situation I am in and the more I can save before then the better should it go tits up!

So lets have a bit of an update!
I got employed again! I am now back in Greenwich, working at a community centre there. Bit of everything really, HR, Admin, Reception work, Social media whore. Only temp until end of March but the fact that I can walk there and get a bus back in the evening saves me at least 30 odd quid a week commuting fee and I get free lunches. Admittedly I still buy one once or twice a week but still that's another bit of money saved on sandwich filler and a snack.
I have my fingers crossed that it may go perm at the end of this but we'll see. At the moment I need it to clear as much debt as possible as Brat has failed to pay any council tax and the first we knew about it was a letter from them saying we're going to court in Jan unless you can pay a lump sum before.
Urgh.
So that's where next weeks wages are going... The centre closes on the 23rd for xmas and reopens on the 5th so will be a week without money there.
Welshy has been working in London but is now back off in Austria for the week and then a week in Russia. I wish I had funds to go out there with him. He's going to spend a weekend in Moscow before flying back.

Mother and TWMWM came back and finally replaced the skirting board they ripped up in Jan last year and fixed the doorhandle of my car. I went to Nottingham and met The Lizard (Who is pregnant!) and H2 before me and the boys went to see Forest play Charlton.

I'm signing up for a Horse Confidence course in Jan, this is the year I really crack the mental barriers that prevent me from improving. Sports psychology, learning how to deal with rears and falls that kinda thing. Its silly but a buck doesn't bother me at all nor naughty behaviour on the ground but a spook or rear when riding really knocks me and sets me back confidence wise and I never had that much to begin with.

Christmas will be me and The Brat. He's brought a joint of meat, It will be as painless as possible I hope. I'm too poor to buy anyone presents this year - especially now I know about this council tax thingy, where as I was hoping to get a few little bits and pieces before...
I still do Spanish via Skype, hopefully am improving slightly there. Would be nice to have enough to sit an exam in New Year but of course dependent on funds....

Ah well. Just keep rolling along and see what life brings.

Turns out I was going to be one of those awful people who go to peoples houses and try to convince them to sign up to a charity for a year or so.
I walked off. I got rejected from a museum job cos I wasn't right, they had a higher calibre of candidate. All it was, was going around doing talks. I did that for 5 years if you count the year at the aquarium as well.
Once again the possibilities of life seem very small and I'm wondering if the better thing is to draw an end to this mockery and sham of a life.
Welshy is going to Russia in Jan for 3 weeks.

I really don't understand how these things happen to me.
Amidst my spamming of Reed with my CV and covering letter I got a call from a lady who was from a marketing team.
I was puzzled as I didn't remember applying for anything with marketing, but I did find on there that I had applied for a job doing admin for a advertising company - Sports and Media, so guessed it was that.
Anyway, chatted on the phone, arranged to have an interview today - which I got lost trying to find.
I tried to research them on the interweb but their website is poor and vague at best, I'd already asked the lady who confirmed the interview to send me over a fuller job description which was also vague so I decided it must be the adminny thing.
So I got there and was presented with a form, past experiences, education blah blah blah.
"Why do you want this career?"
Well as far as I knew I was there to chase references and update paperwork, very office entry level stuff, so I wasn't sure what to put, made up some nonsense.
Got into the interview and found out its for Sales.
I've always steered well away from Sales, I don't think I have the personality for it. I'm not pushy enough. Too laid back.
"Says on the form you'd like the career to help you achieve personal goals. Like what?"
"I want a horse and a house. Not necessarily in that order."
I also managed to tell them I wasn't interested in career development or anything like that. It was clear to me I had no idea what was going on, it was a waste of their time and mine so I was honest.
"Yeah I'm not interested in that. I want high wages as a priority."
So I'm going back on Friday for a second interview. Apparently I charmed them with my personality(!) and the fact that I (modestly) gave myself 10 out of 10 for customer service skills....

I have NO IDEA what this is all about......

This week hasn't been too bad, I've scored two weeks temping which means I don't need to sign on "yet" well, at least until next Saturday!
It turned out to be 22 hours rather than the fulltime I was hoping for, but I just need 9 hours next week to be better off than JSA and it'll cover the bus fare for that week as well!
Hopefully some interviews will appear this coming week or week after. I had one Monday and I thought it had gone well, he kept correcting himself through out. "Not if I invite you back, when..... When you come back we'll go see this.... We'll talk about it next Monday when I show you how this works"
But I haven't heard back, dropped him a casual email today asking how he was and for feedback from my interview, hoping that its just an oversight or that he'll get back and say he's not got round to scheduling 2nd stage interviews.
Mother is home for a few days next week, hoping she'll buy lightbulbs, all the ones downstairs in the living room have popped and obviously I'm the only one who buys household shit and its a choice of me getting food or lightbulbs....
Christ when did life get so shit?!!

Interview Wednesday - Real one!
Felt it had gone ok, but haven't heard owt back so guess it didnt. Is it paranoid to think that my work history is the problem?
Drove to Wales and back over the weekend. So proud of myself and still in a state of shock that I can do this!
This afternoon me and Welshy are going to a museum exhibition and then for a meal out.
I was feeling perky about it all until I came home and had to tidy up after my brother.
Will I ever escape it all?

Turns out the interviews were lies from a recruitment agency to get me on their books.
Wankers. Shouldn't be allowed to give up false hope.
Anyway, enough feeling sorry for myself. time for action!
Really throwing myself back into this job hunting lark. Applied for over 20 at the weekend. Its all about the numbers game. Throw enough mud and something will stick etc...
Watching HOYS and applying away....

Lets sum up the last few months.
As we know I was offered a job near Cambridge/Bedfordshire. I jumped at the opportunity. It seemed like a great career move, I'd be running a brand new compliance department in a brand new company.
It was out of London, a new start for Welshy and me. We'd be able to afford to rent somewhere. I could afford to get a horse. It paid well and just seemed perfect.
So I went, I was staying with E and her partner in Hertfordshire during the week and travelled back and forth.
I quickly grew aware this wasn't compliance as I knew it. Compliance as I know it involves taking an active part in the candidates paperwork, its applying for fit to works, DBS documents, chasing documents, chasing references. Always busy, always on the phone, always emailing.
This was different, the consultants chased documents and they had no idea really what was needed and what wasn't needed. I asked the girl there already and was rebuffed when I tried to apply for references.
"We need to wait until we're told to apply for them."
I spent endless hours transferring documents to jpeg, editing the necessary, adding them to letterhead, transferring them back to pdf, then adding to a file or dismissing the often irrelevant, which should have been perhaps only 5% of my job, not all. I get bored doing repetitive stuff like that. I made errors because I got sloppy. It was boring, either no documents or hundreds. I admitted to D that I got lazy when it was like this.
I tried to make changes, the girl D rebuffed me, or worse stole my ideas and passed them off as her own. I allowed this for some of the smaller ideas, I figured. It doesn't matter as long as changes happen in the right direction. She admitted to me that she had no self-confidence, self esteem, that her job was under threat. Being the stupid, soft person I am, I allowed her to take a few of my ideas. Only the silly ones that didnt' matter. Like presenting a monthly breakdown of what the department had done. The fact that it was ridiculous that we didn't have them completing FTW documents when we already had their medical histories.
I brooded and waited. I figured give it time Charbs, learn the ways of the company and then slowly change it from the inside. I demanded meetings with the managers. It took a month for that to happen, I presented my ideas, I was told I was full of good ideas.
Nothing happened from this meeting. I waited... One week... Two weeks. A new guy started we'll call him Triple H. Lovely guy, the type I really get on with.
His training was erratic at best. I was sitting away from him and tried to help as much as I could but D wasn't the type of girl who could let that go. I realised she was threatened by me, and needed to control everything in the department. So again I took a back seat and then fixed it when it went a bit tits up.
She still wasn't allowing me to do anything, she was the only one allowed to make combined files to send to clients. She was the only one allowed to apply for the FTW requests when they came in, to apply for DBS, To apply for references. I festered and tried to influence where I could, but and I'll admit I was still being silly and sloppy with documents.
She wrote a long impassioned email to the managers, saying that I was lazy, that she wasn't enjoying coming to work anymore.
We had a long awkward meeting and I resolved that it was time for change. Fuck them telling me what I could and couldn't do. So I got a small list of candidates and started chasing them myself. I created an application form for them. I created an interview form for them, I put together documents relating to losing your GMC certificate, appraisal information, Hep B low responder information.
I not only chased my own candidates but I got the reference list split in three, taking the larger amount, often chasing Triple H's as he also was doubling as IT Support. I emailed them to the bosses and thanked for my work. I just went and applied for the FTW's on my own.
Numbers doubled, massively, in some cases tripled. I moved some candidates from less than 20% compliant to 60 - 70% compliant
I tried to encourage D to chase them on the phone as well, but she complained I was nagging her so I gave in.
It became a competition between us, who could do more. A horrid atmosphere.
Still I battled on, I wanted to make this work. I loved driving past the fields, we were house-hunting,
 Two weeks after the awkward meeting, another girl from another department came in to manage us.
I went to her upset that evening. As far as I was aware I was supposed to be the manager and yes I realise I had created a rod for my own back in the way I had dealt with D, I told her, a little sadly how awkward it was, how she was using my ideas, how I had plenty I wanted to share with them all. How I had been misquoted and labelled lazy. That I knew I was earning 5-6k more than her and Triple H and I wanted to be felt that I was earning this.
Nothing changed.
She tried to take some of the power away from D. I realised I wasn't the manager. Just another compliance body. Fretting that I'd be in a bad situation, that they'd either reduce my wages to the same as the others or let me go, I tried to keep bridges open, but as the same time hoped for the best, buried my head in the sand. Helping Triple H where I could, focussing on my own work.
Two weeks after the meeting with this girl, and this Monday after work I was called into her office.
They were letting me go....
Citing my "laziness", that I was creating a bad atmosphere in the office.
Triple H consoled me, cuddled me. I drove home, concentrating hard and then came home and cried.
Now here I am.... back to the relentless world of applying for jobs...
Back to keeping the house tidy (lets ignore the mice and maggots that greeted me on the weekends and the two hours of tidying I did each weekend)...
I feel more trapped than I ever did before. I'm struggling to hold it all together. That was my chance to leave London, to create a new life for me and Welshy.
How can we afford to live in London away from this house and in a reasonable level of comfort/quality?
Am I ever going to afford that horse?
Am I really as disruptive/lazy and awful as they implied?
I already have two interviews lined up but I take no hope in them... It will make no difference.... I take them.... 22k is still not enough for us to get a house or a horse..... I am 31, embarking on my 4th period of unemployment.... 2nd in one year. I have an erratic work history...... I have done random shit that never worked out... Spain.... Bedfordshire...... Financially I am not any better off than I was in August because driving 500 miles a week is rather expensive and not only did I have to pay rent to Mother despite not living there, I also had to give some to E.

I have nothing..... The thought of going to sleep and not waking is more and more appealing......

I need to get the habit of doing this again.
I've been busy-ish at work, we do 9-6.30 but I still feel as if we're only doing half of the job, change is happening slowly, the compliance is still reactionary, rather than leading the way like it should be.
I bite my tongue and try to influence it subtly.
I like the people I work with, I have a new guy start who is great fun and D who is a bit by-the-book. Welshy came and stayed with me at E's all week and we did a little house-hunting.
Mother is coming back on Tuesday, hoping to release funds from Dad's pension, we've been offered some for a deposit. I won't hold my breath on that happening and will continue to trawl the adverts for renting places that take pets.
Just when I thought funds were getting back on track, today I had an argument with a fencepost at the yard, the fence post won and now I have a large dent in my passenger door and no door handle.
Thank FUCK for T-cut, that shit is magical and the scrape is gone!
God knows how much that'll cost to get fixed though and will have to look into getting it done while i'm at work. Hopefully I can get someone to collect and return it to work tomorrow/Tuesday.
I got my last lot of Housing benefit, it's been a nightmare to cancel it as I can only do it during my lunch break and have been unable to get through/or got cut off after 20 minutes holding.
But at least I can use that to pay for the repair damage and not do it on the insurance. Can't be too expensive to re-attach surely and then hammer out the damage? If its less than 340 then the housing benefit will cover it! Hurrah!
Anyhoo- I'm doing Skype Spanish classes ATM, swapping 30 minutes (or a lot less) of Spic for English.
I'm definitely learning new words, progress is slow but coming along.

Wee update for you all.

Start job two weeks ago, its been fine so far, a lot quieter than I'm used too, feel like i'm only doing half my job. Gonna chat with them Monday about changes I want to implement because frankly. I'm quite scared about what they can get away with being off framework and I might be a lazy cow but I like to feel like I'm earning my money.
Resenting staying there till 6.30. I guess in scheme of things its no different to the 8.30-6pm I did at Tower Bridge. Also discovered last week am expected to work a 6 day week.
Fuck That.
Seriously Fuck That.
I'm quite happy to have everything pro-rata-ed if neccessary to only do 5 days a week.
Been staying with E and her partner during week. Its ok, feel a bit in the way but I guess that'd happen whereever I statyed.
Boy has not fed any of the animals at all while I've been away. FFS I said he could do them every other day. You can get away with that during the Summer when they eat less and the water doesnt freeze overnight.
Its a 5 minute job really.
Found a possible house to move into, at top end of our budget but might let me take birds up there. Will book some time off first week of September when Welshy is home and we can make appointments and stuff.
Riding is down to Fridays and Sundays now. Two Pretty good sessions.
Crashed car today (all is fine) was attempting to pull out to turn right on busy road, edged when safe halfway across lefthand lane, was looking at right hand side judging when I could move on, quick glance left, saw white car slowing to stop. Edged forward to the safe box in the middle of the road between two Islands to see if I could move on.
SCRAPE! Goes the car, some cunt had decided that he couldn't wait for me and had tried to drive around me and was in my safe spot.
No damage to his car I think, mine is missing some paintwork on the bonnet but thats all. Was very shocked, drove terribly all the way home, will have to see if I can patch that up before Mother comes home

Mother is her usual wonderful self. Telling me that they now have a combined income of e2K out there, which is fucking loads for Spain.
Moaning how she has no money herself but yet she is diving all the time, going to the bars with him while he works most nights, they have a cleaner ffs.
I get home about 10.30 on Fridays and then spend most of my Saturdays running around doing all the errands she sends me messages for Saturday, and then trying to tidy the house a bit after the boy hasn't bothered all week.

She comes home 2nd week of September to talk about what will happen to the house, vague talks of selling it, giving us some money each for a deposit, vague talks of seeing if she can access all of Dad's pension at once and giving us some of it for a deposit, using the rest to do up the house and then look for someone to rent it.
Would be nice if that could happen! Won't hold my breath!!

I got offered the job hurrah! I start on Friday!

Went to Spain last week, spent some time in Bilbao and San Sebastian before heading back to Bumpkinville for the main event, their yearly fiesta.
Was crazy, wine and fanta showers, dancing in garages, foam cannons, giants, fireworks, eating meals with ridiculously rich people in garages, eating beans, a bulb of garlic and drinking champagne, marching bands and a tribute Queen concert sung in Spanish that was really good.
We left for a 17 hr trip home on 3 hours sleep then I woke up early the next day and took P and her mum and L to E's and we went to the Butterfly Project which I was too tired to enjoy really. Yesterday car was MOT-ed. Two new tires needed :-( only 300 left in my account... time to work on extending the overdraft as that won't last until payday, not that I know when payday is!!
Had a decent sleep today so I feel normal at last and I joined a website for language exchanges so I can practise Spic a bit more via Skype. So far I've had 38 replies since 9pm last night!!!!

Drove to Bedford and back on my own for a rather random second interview. I do love the location, pretty lakeside. I sat by it for half hour before going in and I could feel it soothing my mind.
E has offered a temporary bed should I need it, she is only 30 mins away apparently near Watford now, so I can give it a month to see how its getting on and that should clear a large chunk of my overdraft so we'll go from there.
Told them I'd only do it for 20-21k which looks like being plenty and also voiced my concerns over working ridiculous hours. I understand that in compliance you do need to perhaps stay till 5.30/6.00pm but till 7 is stupid and stops any work/life balance, especially with a potential long old commute at the end of my day!
Welshy is back on Monday, he elected to stay in Germany for the WC final, bit sad about that but I'd do the same in his situation!
I got housing benefit! Hurrah! Such a sponger, still waiting and hoping that they'll send me backdated stuff cos that'll clear mr overdraft too!
Things are looking up!

Just watched Germany beat Brazil 7-1. I already believe this to be the best World Cup I've ever seen but this score line is just beyond anything I've ever seen in any game of football ever.