A very belated round up.

Another milestone of remembering that awful day in the hospice, now 18 years ago and quite scary to think that I could soon have outlived him.

Christmas was ok as it always is, I went to J's families for Christmas eve, and on Christmas day I took the dogs to Dungeness for a run around.

J and I had a year anniversary. I still struggle a little with it sometimes, the change from drinking friends to dating, but I'm happier than I've been in a very long time. He's sweet, gentle and thoughtful and I'm loving all the adventures. Its been so long, just existing and not actually living.

We went to see a fireworks display at Leeds Castle, met up with JA and his GF and went to the Bubble Experience which was brilliant fun.

On Thursday I take him to his Christmas present, which is an evening watching snooker. On Friday we're going to some balloon immersive experience thingy. Then I'm out at the first flyball competition of the year.

I've planned a secret holiday for us to go to Edinburgh for his B'day, booked two fun bars and hoping to get tickets to a Celtic game.

The Brat is back with his GF and talking about how he shouldn't really be paying rent etc here when he's not lived here pretty much all year.