I loved St Petersburg. Russia was cold - not as cold as ancipated - but so, so pretty. The architecture especially the churches, the winter palace and the Hermitage.
We explored, got caught in a snowstorm, stumbled over ice. Ate pancakes, swam and made use of the sunas and restaurant where i ate in pitch darkness. I really recommend it to anyone and I'd love to see Moscow now.

Welshy and I broke up, its been on the cards for 2 years. We tried to do it in November. 10 years of friendship, 9 years dating and its over and that's quite scary.
He stayed in a different hotel to the one we booked. I spent the evenings alternating between hysterical sobbing and loudly bellowing out break up songs.
I relied on him to keep me strong for so long and he relied on me, and now its stifling, we don't talk any more.
He will be back upstairs in mums room this week and then away for three with work.
Then who knows. I don't want to lose him at all but today and the silence around each other has been horrid so perhaps best he moves out when he can.

During the day i can make grand plans and tell myself i will be ok. In the evenings i crumble and i wosh i was stronger. I am frightened of life without him - he has been the only person to care about me for a long time and life alone seems strange but i am so glad we don't have kids or a place of our own or any commitments past the animals.

I remind myself that what will come will never be as hard as what i have endured and i cross my fingers that, that is true and i will continue to endure.

Bit later than planned but here's my 2015 roiund up!

It was a meh year. Which the older I've got, the more I realise that's a terrible thing to say. I spent the first two thirds slowly paying off various debts and now I'm working on that credit card. (300 quid paid off out of a 2,800 debt!) so we're getting there slowly, and then can work on the overdraft. I would like it to be quicker but at the same time I've made as many cutbacks as I can although I know that I could do a LOT more such as stop riding but I have to maintain my sanity in this house somehow.

I also travelled this year - again not as much as I'd have liked but I went to the Baltics which were surprisingly pretty. Copenhagen was a bit of a disaster and took a long time to get the compensation back for that. Helsinki was a bit "meh" and very expensive so I probably could have done more if I had money, but I didn't so hey ho.

I got a dog! That was an amazing upside. I have bored everyone on Facebook with endless pup photos and statuses. She makes me laugh daily. She is great company when Welshy is away and encourages me to go out and not sit at home eating or being bored. I have spent a lot of the last 11 days thinking up adventures for her and we've been clocking 9 mile walks!

I have continued riding and I'm definitely better than this time last year. I had a huge confidence knock but I've learnt how to sit rears, hold a bit of a contact, how to wobble my way over 70cm jumps with vague competency, I learnt how to feel if she's lame.

My Nan died. This has led to the usual dramas. URGH. House clearance was slightly awkward. Obviously Mother and Boy were completely useless for this and as always I had to pick up the pieces. I can't wait for it all to be finished!

I've carried on learning a little Spanish - not sure if its improved at all and I've spent the last 11 days teaching myself half-hearted Russian in preparation for my trip at the end of January.

Work is ok. Sometimes boring, sometimes manic, sometimes frustrating. I'm learning lots and sometimes spending my days playing facebook games. I'd like more money but I know more money doesn't exist and I technically got a pay rise when London Living Wage went up.

Me and Welshy are drifting. Are we falling apart? I don't know. Maybe this time next year we won't be together. Maybe we will. I'm not too sure what to say about this or even how to process it in my head, although I'm not falling apart about it as much as I was last year.

My goals for 2016 are as simple. Carry on clearing the credit card and overdraft debts. I'd like to be at least out of the credit card debit by 2017, of course there is the hope that I'll get something once Nan and Granddad's wills are sorted and that would clear both!

The remaining goals from before I turned 30 remain. To have my own home and my own horse. I'd like to reach 30 countries this year travel wise (current total 26).

I'll try and be better with this as well.

So happy new year if you're out there.