So hi! I'm back from NYC! And sweet fucking Jesus is it cold! I blame the city builders, its all very well having straight lines everywhere, but did you not stop to think about the wind tunnel effect?!


I was homeless too! Well effectively homeless! I booked my hotel here, going on the nice pictures of a 4 poster bed and a nice shiney white bathroom, but the reality was awful. I swear it gets used as a crackden when its not being a hotel room, the "bed" consisted of a mattress on the floor, the room had weird stains and half finished plasterwork, and a noisy pipe and the bathroom was brown, full of broken tiles and a drippy tap and there was a BRIDGE across the window into another apartment, just strong enough to carry the weight of a serial killer.



They'd made a vague attempt at making it nicer by putting a portrait of a man/woman/girl from The Ring up. We lay on the bed, exhausted after our flight, trying to convince ourselves for half an hour that it wasnt so bad, we could cope and then I snapped. I can handle grotty, but not a crackden.
So we went to the hostel that we'd past on our way and enquired about a room, yes there was one available and they thought we'd be legally entitled to our money back.

But of course the Crackden leader was unwilling to give it back, trying to swap us to another room, which was unopenable! and then throwing a hissy fit when We demanded our money back. I can throw a hissy fit with the best of them too. And Threatened them with all sorts, threatened to sue and then threw myself into a chair and refused to move until I got my money back.


He reluctantly phoned his boss
"He's not a nice guy, he wont give it back."
Strangely the man on the phone gave it back right away and we were out of there less than an hour after moving in!

So we went up to the hostel only to find that they actually only had dorm beds and in a seperate room. So that was out.
And there we were, Me and Welshy, lost, homeless, tired, hungry and slowly freezing to death. It was kinda fun for the first half hour, convinced as we were that we'd get somewhere easily. I mean in London you cant WALK without falling over a hotel.

Three hours later and somehow we found ourselves in Times Square. It was something close to 4am our time, and I was near to breaking down in tears.
When we stumbled across the Hotel Mela, it was dead posh and that always equals dead expensive.
But like Welshy said. "We can manage tonight and then start again in the morning"
So I went up to them and explained that we were refugees from a crackden and probably a huge herd of cockroaches. and the lovely lady behind the reception went to speak to her manager, and then got us a huge $100 discount, it still made the room $50 dollars a night more expensive than what we'd originally paid for but still a beds a bed and homeless people cant be beggars.
(I think my trembling lower lip and quivering voice helped move her towards our plight.)

So we crashed into bed and prepared ourselves for a fresh attack on the city the next day. We planned to look for other cheap hotels, as this was SLIGHTLY out of my budget and as I was funding Welshy's holiday I didnt see how I could afford both of us to stay in such luxury, but in the end we caved and the nice people let us stay at the cheaper rate.

So we explored the city, Broadway, 5th Avenue, Time Square, and all the little offshoot streets. We went up the Rockefeller building towards sunset and played in the mad room at the top with coloured lights and music and watched the sun go down and all the pretty lights came on.
It was so MOTHERFUCKINGLY cold though! We were prepared for the cold, Christ knows we've been coping with -6's lately but this was awful, nothing could prepare us for that coldness, all day!
The next day we took a trip on subway again down to the Statue of Liberty and spent the day climbing the monument and exploring round there.


It was a fun, like London on acid as Welshy said, but as always when I visit the city I just wanna get out of it after a while, so I got my fix of the big city and then we flew home again!














Stairs to Nowhere - What the fuck is that about?!



















Named after you Hyde-y?