Final post on the E2.0 debacle. Guess who was driving home through Longfield Sunday Morning and spotted him walking out of another womans house with her?

Benefit of doubt, she resembled his description of his sister, although I don't remember where she lives, but we're not in mood to be nice!

Unfortunately couldn't stop, but deffo him and I'm pretty sure he'd have recognised the car!

Other news WC fever is in full swing and cocktails aplenty being drunk with the boys! 

 Is it really, really bad that I keep vaguely thinking of meeting up with BB for rebound sex? I feel so down and fed up with it all and he always knows the right things to say - albeit crudely and in a cringemaking way. To know that he's spent 20 years still thinking about those strange nights where I'd come to him crying and drunk and he'd hold me and teach me how to give blowjobs and try in his own strange way to comfort me, that he still thinks about that quick pitstop I made at his last June. 

In some ways I know its all noise to make me do what he wants, and in other ways I know him and I know somehow I'm like his fantasy girl and its not just him saying what he thinks I want to hear.

I want someone to make me feel loved again, I want someone to feel close too. I am glad perversely that E2.0 fucked off before I fell properly for him, but shit I did get attached and the thought of being alone again isn't much fun, nor is the idea of getting back on the online dating merry-go-round.

I just wish there was a reason behind this, meeting another girl, whatever, just so I could draw a line as I still feel vaguely like there will be a reason, that all will be explained. Its nearly three weeks. I need to grow up and maybe rebound sex is the way forward. He knows i'd be using him for that. He's happy to take whatever crumbs I throw at him. Thats not fair on him either though. 

 In a new low, even for me, I did go around Wednesday night after Dog School. He wasn't in. No car on drive, so I swung it around and headed home. I brooded all day yesterday, fucked off agility training and went there again. Car was there but no lights on. I knocked, just in case.

No answer. I sat in my car for an hour  (why, Charbs, why?) and then gave up and went home. Not proud as his Ring doorbell would tell him that, whereever he was.

Its not about wanting my gin back anymore. Its about not wanting to have yet another person treat me like shit...

And on a semi-related note, the Mothership came into land last night and I had to collect her at 2.30 this morning.

Yay me. 

 Oh my! I've been ghosted!

So things were going well enough with E2.0. Sex was a bit paint by numbers, but it was ok. He was kind, generous with his time and money, whispered the L word occasionally, was affectionate in private and in public, holding my hand, little head kisses etc. Met the dogs a couple of times, expressed an interest in coming to see them compete.

But cons were that he was a bit rubbish about replying - he always did reply, but a couple of hours later. I found it annoying but no big deal, he was after all a lot busier at work than me and then would go to the gym straight from work.

I longed for more adventures rather than just watching netflix but I'm still not in a financial position for adventures so accepted it.

I went around Friday 28th and no sign of any change in him, he said he'd see me later when I left Saturday. I got annoyed as he was being poor at replying and left it to him to get in touch.

Tuesday he sent me a generic "how's your day" text, I replied, we had a bit of banter. Nothing after that. Friday I was super pissed and sent him a "we need a chat" text, because we needed to discuss his aforementioned cons and why he hadn't replied to me lately, it had been 4 months and perhaps time to meet friends etc? I didnt mention any of the topics and I didnt get a reply until Friday evening, when he suggested Sunday.

I was super miffed at this, replied along the lines, that if he had other priorities that was fine, but I didnt really want to spend my weekend stressing.

He ignored me.

Sunday Morning I texted him to ask what time he wanted to meet - no response - I sent him a further message in the evening telling him he was being incredibly childish and hurtful after such a time to ghost me.

He ignored me.

So Monday morning I messaged him, saying that I didnt know what had changed but thanking him for the fun four months and to please drop my gin off next time he was working locally.

No reply.

I had almost convinced myself that perhaps some trauma had befallen him and I should at least do a drive by to check that he was ok and at home, even if I didn't stop when in the evening I noticed he was online Whats App.

So I guess i've been ghosted?

Its Wednesday now and I'm so pissed about the whole thing, I'm so tempted to drive there tonight and get my gin and an apology and the only thing stopping me is that I'm not a bloody child like he apparently is. 
Very tempting though......