Starting to get a bit annoyed with just sitting in the van helping with maintainence. Especially with London traffic making it so I am late home for the dog.

Still I have tomorrow in the office and maybe Tuesday as well although I think I will probably end up on the road again after that for the week. I dont really get how I am supposed to learn how to do the office stuff if I am only there every so often?! I mean I've been at the job 5 weeks now and only spent a total of 3 days so far in there?

Anyway it's fine. Better than being unemployed!

One Night Stand Guy messaged me and we met up with his dog for agility - annoyingly she was better than mine and has already been promoted to another class.

Mine is also running shit and slow again which makes me sad but what can you do? I'm doing my best to work on her fitness but hard when at work all the time!

Went out last night as it would have been L's birthday. Much drinks. Came home at 4.30 and then went up early for dog and horses. Struggled this morning haha!

I dunno. A guy started chatting to me, was a bit too keen, too young, had a kid, I wasn't interested in him. In the club later another guy - one of my good friends J, I guess we are a bit flirty together when drunk, its never been anything though other than playing but last night.... I felt he was trying to move on past that. You know you kinda get that 6th sense that the situation has changed?
Maybe cos he was so drunk and I was the only single female (who was also straight!) there. Not interested in him.
I don't even know what's wrong with me. I can't get with any of my friends as I know them too well, chatting to strangers fills me with alarm as I can't cope with not knowing the situation.
So am I still in love with Welshy? I don't even know. I can go odd days now without thinking about him.
Am I in love with One Night Stand Guy? No. Attracted to him yes, do I want a relationship with him? No. He's in a unique category of being another one of my male friends, but one of the ones I don't mind doing stuff with where as I can't even picture it with any of the others.
I need help lol!!

Another hardcore week out and about doing things! Watering, deadheading, sweeping, fiddling.
Got to finish at half 11 though on Friday, pretty goddam pleased about that!
Did the horse early which is always good. Dog started agility class, just learning jumps and the introduction of weaving poles, jumps she obviously found easy although I need to get her to realise that its not about doing thing a million miles an hour like flyball!
Went to a same-sex wedding last night - lots of free wine, dancing and fun. Mild wine headache this morning which took a long time to wear away!

Still no sign of my tortoise in the garden and im starting to really worry that i've lost the bugger for good.

He wanted me to come over Monday night, I refused. I'm not at his beck and call and Gravesend is a long way away, I was busy. I've been fairly busy all week, riding, had my redundancy party from the old place, been on site visits again all this week, started agility lessons with the dog.
I don't want to drag her along with me, she's a pain as much as I love her. So I said how about this weekend. I refuse to bring it up with him though and say how about me coming over. I will not beg for it.
I got Friday off - yay! - Did the horse early, went up to London and did the latest exhibit at the NHM and then over to Foyles and bought a couple of books, I took back a couple of bottles of wine from the party and have chilled out reading and drinking.
I've tidied the garden and filled up two more wheely bins - lady next door still moaning about the state of the garden which depressed me a bit.
4 in the space of a fortnight is pretty good going in my book especially when you consider everything else going on!

Not a lot else to report this week. Lets see what next week brings.

Been a busy and hectic week at work - been off doing all the site visits and helping to maintain them - not really sure I do too much in the way of helping - more deadheading and hoping for best and occasionally weeding and watering - fuck me though my sweeping skills are coming in strong here!
Early starts, not good for a person who loves their sleep but its only for another week and there's the strong possibility of Friday off and I can roll with that!!!

I dont want to discuss One Night Stand Guy too much on here - but I'm curious about it all, we speak often, almost every day, he messaged me Wednesday really excited as he'd literally just found out he's been offered the chance to apply for a massive, massive contract.
Is this something that fuckboys do? None of my real, close male friends would be in that position ever but I can't imagine me being one of the first people they turn to, to tell such things.

It's a weird one. I don't want to read too much into it. When we meet and say goodbye I want to hug him like I would all my friends but something holds me back, is it fear that he'd read too much into it himself?
And how do I really feel about him? Yes I'm attracted to him. I won't allow myself to fall for him and i'm pretty clear that he is only out for one thing from me which helps me to remain strong.
He is a nice distraction from Welshy and that's the main thing.

Car got fucked - needs a new door - goodbye to first pay cheque!

Annoyed with the Brat as always and his lack of help around the house and slightly concerned as I put the tortoise into the garden last week and haven't seen him since!! Am sure he's just in the weeds somewhere but.... yeah.... come out of hiding soon!!

Starting agility classes with the dog this week, be something to help keep her fit over the winter I guess!!

So again we need to catch up. My super busy August is over now and I can take stock of what has happened and regroup.
So I went to Mothers Wedding. I went for the shortest amount of time, but the return flight still cost me just under 500 quid.
And the car needed work doing on it for the MOT. Sad times. Goodbye Redundancy Money.
She wasn't as stressed as I feared although she did get up at 1am to start baking the wedding cake.
The wedding/commitment ceremony itself took place in the evening.
His daughter was there, I'd never met her and she clearly was in no mood to speak to me or be my friend. I was told by her that I had to sit at their table so I did and when it became apparent that she wasn't going to talk to me, I turned to the old man sat next to me. Still have no idea who he was to this day.
Introduced myself, put my hand out. He looked at me, at my hand and said nothing.
Wasn't really much I could do about the evening so I got merrily drunk. There was a very good looking guy there (think 90;s surfer look) unfortunately covered in tattoos which reduced him from a clear 9 to a 2 out of 10 at best.
Is it wrong that in my drunken state I may have told this to One Night Stand?
He was at his own wedding (not his to be clear, a wedding of a cousin) He tried to one up me. Did he sleep with someone else or is it put on? I've been told that he's not as successful as he likes to make out. I kinda sense some truth in this but its not really something I can ask him!!!
Anyway, I kinda knew where it was leading and I ended up going to his once I got back from Gatwick, we watched the football, we drank wine. We went upstairs and then watched the 3rd Men in Black film and I left when he was falling asleep on the sofa.
Do I feel bad/ashamed of all this? No. Maybe I should but I know where I stand and he's already become like another one of my boys, except I don't do the things I do with him with the other boys!!!
Dog did flyball this morning and ran well. got some more 4.9's although back to 5.3's when I raced in a team which is slightly annoying!
Back to work tomorrow and time to really settle in on the new job!