In a way its like he's away - which technically he is.
There's been a couple of moments which ache my heart. Like now. It's now been nearly 36 hours since we spoke and this is normal I tell myself but this is the longest we've gone for 10 years without communicating. I guess this is an unwanted record that keeps on growing. I rarely speak to my other friends weekly - I consider it keeping in good contact if I do it fortnightly!

I'm slowly starting to tell my friends, although less than three or four know at the moment. Its still I guess a bit of a hard thing to admit.
We spoke before he went away. I pushed him away a lot, always worrying that he would let me down, trying to protect myself from getting hurt (did a bad job there) being flippant, making him do all the running when it came to him visiting me because I was so insecure. (probably not much better now tbf) of course that hurt him. What i'm trying to say I guess is that I realise neither of us are blameless. We're not the people we were 10 years ago, not even 3 years ago. I still remain hopeful that the contact will stay however.

I'm just going to throw out here now that TMWMitW wrote a song a while back, he now suspects that this song was stolen and recorded by someone rather famous. Legal advice is being consulted. We'll see what happens there.

Still no news in regards to my inheritance.

Sunday was awkward. We didn't really speak. Monday he told me he was going back to Wales and he did and returned last night.
I ended up weeping to my boss at work about it on Monday but now the shock and pain has died away a little and perhaps he is right that it is for the best.

He is back now and today we walked the dog in Greenwich Park and he talked about how his brother is coming to collect some of his things.
Although things he doesn't use often. I guess he is slowly going to move himself back up there, although I'd love him to stay here, I realise that might not be possible.

So we endure, we start planning a new life away from him. I've booked a week off at Easter and am toying with the idea of taking the dog to Hampshire for the week if I can get a cheap enough deal. I could see CL there too, it has been years since I saw her last.

They are in the process of selling Nan and Granddad's stocks and shares. We have cleared their house now. I hope that when that's done, the inheritance can be sorted and we can move on from there.

Mother seems to think it could be done by the end of the month. I'm anticipating April.

I'm planning my first ever solo holiday - it will be a treat for when I clear 700 pounds worth of credit card debit or when I get my share of the inheritance. It wouldn't be far or long. Just a long weekend in Europe somewhere.
Everyone has to start somewhere and when I have enough courage about going away alone then I can try long haul. To the places I've always wanted to go but Welshy hasn't been keen. Canada. Australia. We'll see what happens. Obviously I need money first.

I've been trying to do some research into what to do with it. I'm hoping for 25k once all is said and done. Unfortunately that's not enough for a home of my own in London or even the outskirts of NW Kent which is local.

I'm considering the idea of buying a place up in Derbyshire and renting it out. At least I can then have some additional income and should I become unemployed for any reason again I can sell it.

We'll see.... knowing the way my luck goes. I'll be lucky to get 25p and be here this time next year attempting to get out of my debts still...