Saturday, March 27, 2010

Yeah. The laptops still not fixed as you might have gathered. Looks like everyone else in blogland has no working computers either...
Was gonna tell you all about our amazing drunken trip to Southend, how it looks like we're on the way to Oldham and possible Exeter as well.
Oh and how I went on my first Official Marine Mammal Medic rescue, which ended in an anti-climax when I failed to see the seal at all...
So what am I going to tell you?

Well today we cracked and moved Nanny into a care home, this week, well fortnight really she's really being going downhill, wandering off and stuff. She had been coming home, which is good but she was missing all night recently. Mother is close to cancelling her holiday and the doctor told her under no terms was she to do that as her blood pressure was through the roof and she feared that it might all end in her having another breakdown or a stroke.
Granddad cant cope on his own, No one else will help. His pacemaker is probably buckling under the strain so arrangements have been made to move her into Perrygrove.
Which is a small care home on the estate we used to live at. Its good cos we know people that work there so they can keep us up to date on stuff.
We tell ourselves its for three weeks Respite Care. We (apart from Granddad) all know she wont come out again.
She went mental though. I've seen her walk unfearing and break up a fight between two men and although the last few years she's been quiet, rarely venturing two words this woke something up in her.
"You Bitch, I'll never forgive you for this... You etc."
So we ran, like naughty and guilty schoolchildren abandoning her at the home. The Matron has rung and told us that she's now switched into Nurse Mode (she used to work in a Childrens home and nurse in an OAP ward at the hospital) So thats occupying her mind now, thinking that she works there. But we've been told to stay away for a few days, in case we upset her again.
My Uncle M is on the phone to Mum now abusing her for making this move. But she simply cannot cope anymore. As I have said there are 6 of them and she is the only one to do anything for them. He claims he is going down there to liberate her.

I feel awful, like there's more I could have done, not move out, moved in with the Grandparents, look after them. but that wouldnt stop Nan walking out the house, it wouldnt do me any favours.
So I'll just be here. Being guilty and a bad person for leaving her in the home when we have sworn to them for the last two years that we would NEVER make this move, NEVER split them up.