Today I was awoken at 7am again for work.
I dislike getting up that early, I may have mentioned this.
I determined to make The Health Food Shop That Must Not Be Named pay.
Yesterday I took my final promotion exam and the woman who set the exam didnt leave me alone in the room with the answers. How can someone pass without that?
I did alright, although I was pissed off with the question about where asprin comes from, we dont sell asprin in any of our shops so how should I know?
I scored a mighty 79% with 84% needed to pass. Its a bit of a pisser cos I've now lost my hundred quid bonus for passing all of it completely first time.
But I can retake the exam if I like later.
But back to today, I was determined the company would pay for their crimes against me.
I was working in another shop an hour or so away but would get clocked in by my shop, they were clocking me in for 9-5.30.
So I showed up to work at 9.30 (There's little they can say as I'm there doing them a favour, as long as I'm not cheeky I can get away with being late like that)
I then claimed I had to get to the dentist for early evening and was worried about being sat in traffic for god knows how long again and missing my appointment.
So they said I could go at 4.30. So thats 90 minutes so far I was getting paid for and doing nothing.
I scraped an extra 10 minutes into the bank run by visiting a bookshop on the way (I figure as well it was a good way of fooling potential muggers who might suspect I was carrying over 2 grands worth of money in a plastic bag.)
So thats 100 minutes add to that a cheeky 10 minute extra break onto my lunch and the bastards are gonna pay me for 110 minutes that I wasnt actually at work.
Silly little things like that help get me through the day.
Shame its all back to normal in my shop tomorrow though.

I'm in the middle of the working week from hell.
I've been doing full time hours in Orpington as well as my own shop. Its not too bad I guess, I was swayed by pound signs dancing the tango in front of me.
And then today was a bad day, not only did I have to get up when it was still dark which is sooo depressing (actually it wouldnt be dark if it wasnt for the fact that I'm hopelessly addicted to Tellytext and have to set my alarm half hour earlier than I should so I can read it all)
And then there was the sudden joy of having a whole hour for lunch rather than my quick 30 minutes that I try to fit into when I have my full days in MY shop and I got a 10 minute tea break! Thats something else I dont get at all in my shop!
I was practically skipping down the high street in my excitement.
And then it was hometime and I got on the bus that happened to get stuck in the traffic jam, so for 45 minutes I sat on the top deck of the 51 trapped outside Sidcup Station, gazing longingly into the house nearest and seeing the man there eating what looked like a tasty steak and chips.
While all I had was half a packet of polos.
Cunt.

Its time for Fridays Fish of the Week! We seem to be staying in one section, namely the Coral Reef section so far and so Todays fish is no exception.
I present for your general blogging pleasure.


The Lionfish.





These guys fascinate me, they "sleep" in odd looking positions, upside down and wedged onto rocks.
They can hunt in Prides like real lions too! They open all those lovely elegant frondy fins and herd their prey item into a corner where they can eat them all with a surprisingly large mouth.
And posh looking as they are they're also some of the most dangerous fish you could meet on the reef.
get stung by one of these buggers and you could face anything from nausea, vomiting, convulsions, or even suffer a coma and die.
Charbs advice? Stick the stung bit into as hot as water as you can stand and then get yourself off to hospital quicksmart. The hot water will act to break down the protein based sting and hopefully nutralise its effects.

Its taken a hell of a lot of planning, but! I think I'm finally starting to get organised on this holiday in the New Year, Me and E have decided to only visit New Zealand rather than try and fit in Oz too and rush about, missing out on things and we've also FINALLY come up with a list of places that we wanna visit.
As can be shown by the badly scanned in maps.
Now all we need are important details, like how we're gonna get about and eat and live and stuff like that.
If it was up to me, I'd just pootle over, and figure it all out on the way. E however is a planning, organised kinda person, so she's busy panicking over whether its worth hiring a car to take us round or exactly where we'll stay and what direction we'll do it all in.
My contribution to all this has been to volunteer to be a navigator and cruise along in her slipstream while she fusses and rushes round trying to find the best way to fly there or the cheapest flights.
I quit work today over it, well I quit for January and the conversation went kinda like.
"Big Boss Lady, do you think I'll get time off in the New Year for 6 weeks?"
BBL "I dont think so, why do you want all the time off?"
Me "Ok then I'll quit in the New Year, I wanna go to New Zealand"
her "Fair 'nuff"
HURRAH!

Pinched from Spins and Flash!
1) My ex is: A friend.
2) I am listening to: Oh Stacy - The Zutons
3) Maybe I should: eat some more ice cream, get an evening job.
4) I love: fun!
5) My best friend: is on the bus going home from my house
6) I don’t understand: People who need to know every little detail about your life
7) I lose: everything!
8) People say: lots of things I dont understand.
9) The meaning of my screen name is: A combination of Charlton and Derby.
10) Love is: a mystery.
11) Somewhere, someone is: saying a prayer thatt we'll find another (been watching An American Tail, the song has stuck!)
12) I will always: be there.
13) Forever seems: scary.
14) I never want to: do grown up things.
15) My cell phone is: rarely off of silent/vibrate.
16) When I wake in the morning: I sit in bed reading telly text for half an hour !
17) I get annoyed when: People assume they know me..
18) Parties are: Something I wish I went to more often.
19) My dog is: a urn of ashes under the stairs.
20) Kisses are the worst when: The guy pulls your hair, or is too enthusiastic with his tongue and slobbers.
21) Today I did: walked to work, bused home, looked at my travel plans and watched us on the telly.
22) Tonight I will: playing on the net until the early hours.
23) Tomorrow I will be: going to work.
24) I really want: to be with my friends.

So my weekend!
I got up to Derby after a day at the Fish, got picked up by MH and she took me to Our Beloved Friary for tea and then we went back to hers for a scary movie and to discuss her career options now she's pretty much been kicked out unless her appeal is successful.
And then Saturday H2 came round with Bump, who now has a real name, but I shall continue to call it Bump.
And I viewed it from a distance after presenting him with a toy mouse teddy.
And then it was time to go into town for our Reunion meal with A, STF, N and N's ex housemate J and Booker.
And then back into Our Beloved Friary, where STF set me a challenge, most people who go drinking with me, know that I compulsively peel the labels from my bottles, I can't help it. So he bet me that I had to go the whole night without doing it, or I'd have to kiss A and N.
Which is a good incentive not to do it, so I was good for the two drinks we had in Our Beloved Friary, and then we headed to The Ram, which is a grotty looking old mans pub.
And there was my downfall, I peeled absent mindedly the label off.
STF quickly noticed it.
"Ha! You lose! N! N! Come here!" He looked over, and then grabbed me for a quick peck and then A was thrust at me. I had half a second to think, Oh no he wont go through with it, I'm safe and then he pounced on me to too!
Which kinda shocked me, A is a little different to the rest, he's as naughty and troublesome as them, but he hangs back a bit. Shy.
So then we went on to The Bless which is your typical studenty rocky/gothy/emo-ey pub and then there was some disagreement about whether I'd fulfilled my forfeit or not. N decided to take matters into his own hands about it and launched himself at me.
And tried to shove his tongue down my throat while I shrieked at him to "gerroff me ya caunt"
Into the Bless, chatted to some guy we'll just use the term FS for, about fish and showed him some of my pictures and then back intowards town for a drink in Seymours, a lot of the people out I hadnt recognised, so I imagine they all had left uni before I became mates with them.
I saw some other guy, a cute blonde and smiled at him.
Into a few other pubs and then we ended up in Walkabout, where STF stole my phone and started texting my new Blog Friend Red Squirrel (And I haven't forgotten my IOU).
And then they put some music on so we started dancing and here's where my night got a little confusing.
I quickly became aware of the fact that FS was eyeing me up. I wasnt too sure about this, I only wanted to dance and drink and not be bothered with people trying to get it on.
He told me to act like I would do normally, so I gravitated towards my usual gang and then he pulled me back and started dancing with me and told me not to listen to anything I might have heard from J.
Which puzzled me and I made a note to lose him in the crowd, which I did too, somehow getting into the middle of a pogoing group dancing to Suspicious Minds.
And then I met the cute Blonde guy again and we danced together and he kissed me on the cheek and then his hands started wandering, which I dont mind to a degree, as long as the hands stay OUT of my clothes. So I had to keep firmly placing them elsewhere.
So we danced and we kissed a bit and then he asked me if I wanted to go to the toilets with him.
Which I decided was probably not a good idea and then promptly lost him in the crowd.
And then I got a tap on my shoulder and there was FS.
I looked round and STF, A, N and Booker were all close by, close enough for me to hide with, so I danced with him but keeping an eye on them as I did so, not close enough to be dancing with SF but not far enough to be distant, if you get what I mean!
And then he said something about how if I wanted to be with them I should be, and shoved me in that direction.
So I did and danced with A, who was looking pretty grumpy at having seen me go off with Blondey and FS, (he's so sweet!)
And then FS pulled me back to him and kissed me, and I was pretty much at the stage where I just thought "Meh, what do I care?" And I kissed him back, but he was rough! He kept pulling my hair, I was almost tempted to pull his and see how he liked it.
And then Blondey came over and scowled and pulled me away, and then some blonde bird that he was with asked him what he was doing, so I ran away again, back into the safety of STF
And my night continued in that form, hiding from both, finding one or the other and dancing with them.
And then STF decided that he'd had enough of watching me get groped and kissed and decided that he was taking me home, so me and N and him jumped in a cab and went back to theirs.
Where I snuggled into an armchair with N and listened to one of those drunken, rambling tales that could be summed up in 3 sentances at the most, only when you're drunk take about 20 minutes to tell.
And while I waited for MH to come collect me STF went to make his bed and then N got all touchy-feely, which while nice, isnt what I expect from my mates so had to put a stop to that to and we just cuddled for ages until I finally got picked up, and after a brief run through of my night with giggles and drunken over exaggeration I went to bed and indulged in some of my favourite drunken texting!
Today I woke early, after about 4 hours sleep and headed back to Our Beloved Friary for dinner with MH, N, STF and meeting I of I and C fame.
And now I'm home and its all go here! Mother has had a row over Nanny with Uncle J which resulted in dramatic tears from here and "I wish you dad was here!" type outbursts.
So I tried to comfort her and now I'm all up to date! Yay!

I've won a holiday!

Well Mother did, when we came back from Ireland, we had to get the coach part way and filled in one of those customer service surveys about how to improve their services.
So we did and thought no more of it, then tonight she gets a phonecall from Nat Express saying how we've won a holiday for 4!
So very excited she goes and calls the freephone number and quotes her code down the phone to them.
Now here's the bad part and how our luck is always bad. Apparently its a holiday for 4 and seeing as Mother automatically ticked the option for there is 4 members in our family they now claim we cant have this holiday.
She asked if it was possible for us to bring someone else in, and the horribly embarrassed woman on the phone says no.
So she repeats that we're now in possession of a box of ashes rather than a real Daddy and that shes willing to being that along in order to be the 4th person but the woman still says no.

I'm just gonna pop an email along to customer services now asking exactly why we cant have that holiday.
And I'm off to Derby tomorrow, so I shall see you all when I get home.
Be Good!

My friend H2 has had her baby!
Its a boy, it was actually born on the 2nd of this month at 1.03pm after a whopping 22 hours in labour, and weighed 6lb and 3 and a half ounces, which I am assured is a good weight.
I'm going to see it at the weekend, but they've assured me I dont need to hold it, say good things about it or generally comment at all (but I did buy it a toy mouse!) and whilst there I shall be celebrating 5 years since being dumped in my first halls of residence where my Dad cornered MH in the kitchen, while she was putting away her cornflakes and demanded that she look after me.
Speaking of MH, she's in fear of failing her Disseratation and in doing so, also failing her Masters. Apparently she forgot to properly reference something in it and they're doing her on plagurism, with a big ass meeting in a week or two, but its not looking hopeful.

People let you down, I think I was 8 when I first realised that, that you can't trust them.
When I was eight I first heard my Mother say to her friend that if she'd had the Brat first she'd never have bothered with another child.
I remember that the way I've heard it many, many times in the past. I suppose its why I find it hard to talk to people, but in the years that follow I've seen it, many people I've called friends, family, they do something to let you down, and you realise you can't trust them. And then you get so paranoid you imagine slights, hates and you chalk it up to it being you. Something about you being wrong.
You accept it.

But yet it still gets to you. After Dad died we had hundreds of offers, people promise to look after you, to not abandon you, but they do. His best friend, the one he'd known since he was 6 years old, the one who promised, crying to look after us. We've never heard from them and when we ring them they claim they're busy.

I went to the pub last night down at the Standard and I saw two lads I had known, for about 8 or 9 years. They and their family were pretty good friends of ours , When Dad got sick the first time, they were good to us, they were good to us when we were poor and brought us food parcels.
When he got sick the second time, they distanced themselves but when he got well again they were back to us, as if nothing had happened.
When we found out he was terminally ill. They fully dropped us, they'd not respond to phone calls, they'd pretend to be out when we went round, they crossed the road to avoid us on the street. As if we were fucking infectious.
I could go on for ages about how they "claimed they couldnt cope with the illness" and all that bullshit.
I saw the two lads in the pub last night, I made an effort, cos I'm not rude like them, I was pretty drunk, I waved and smiled hi and the bastards turned their backs on me.
Needless to say I was fucking furious. And the bastards left the pub before I could really work myself into a frenzy.
Funny how people you think you can rely on, seem to let you down.

my drunken Albanian man occured on the night bus home after meeting Flashy and Spins, I may have mentioned it then, on my account of the night.
But basically I passed out on the back seat of the bus and woke up at one point to see some Albanian man trying to get me to go back to his place. I kept shaking my head, but he was intent on getting me back to his place and then I think I passed out again, but I know I never got off the bus and he was gone by the time I got home.

Today we had some spiny crabs added to our ray pool, they're fucking big bastards. One of them is clearly a bit stroppy, one of the rays drifted over to say Hello and he rapped him sharply on the head a couple of times with his claw hand and the ray swam off very cross and with a headache!

which leads us on to Fridays Fish Of The Week!



SeaHorses!
(I'm gonna recylce parts of my SeaHorse talk for this!!)
Obviously everyone knows Seahorses are actually fish, not horses, and that its the Dad that carries the babies, that Mum places in his pouch. Around 200 babies and he looks after them for I suppose about 2-4 weeks depending on the species and then he gives birth and they all swim off happily.
And whats really cute is that they mate for life, and they lead mostly seperate lives during the day but they always spend the night together and then in the morning have a little seahorse dance before going off to do their seahorsey thing.
Sadly however, out of the 33 known species over 20 are already under threat and population number have declined about 25-50% in 5 years alone, and its also thought that 20 million are caught every year for use in the Chinese medicine and the pet trade.
And a final shocking statistic for you is that in 2002 the volume of confiscated dried dead seahorses reached 70 tonnes which works out as about 24.5 million individuals!

So last night!

I went round to visit Welshy last night and sample the delights of his Student Union bar, it was a load cooler than our one was!
There was some sports and societys night going on so it was filled with crazy drunken girls and people in rugby shirts. We compared scars, a bit like that scene from Jaws.
And then I decided to pull my sock off and put my foot on the table to present the scar that The Brat gave me after dropping a bottle of wine on my foot.
so there was lots of drinking, lots of very nice looking sports people about and some impressive projectile Vomiting from an afro-haired man that put the girl from The Exorist to shame, that I was unfortunate enough to witness, after several drinks there, we considered our options.
Getting across London at night isn't something I'm keen on, especially after the crazed Albanian man on the night I met Flash and Spins.
So at closing time we considered my options, luckly the Mothership is away till Monday so I knew I wasn't going to have a panicked phonecall when I wasnt in by midnight.
So we decided to head to the student union Cheesy club night and have a few more drinks and then make a decision.
But it was cheese! So I pointed Welshy in the way of the dancefloor and once I got a few shots down him, he loosened up and impressed with some very flexible and funky dancing.
And then it was the end of the night and 2am, so we retreated to his room to check out the transport for London website and discovered that I could get home via three buses, two of which stopped in god knows where and in my merrily inebriated state it was a bad idea me heading somewhere I didnt know.
Indeed thats normally a bad idea when I'm sober and in daylight! So we made the rational decision for me to stay at Welshys and we curled up top-to-tail on his bed and passed out, well he did, I lay and listened to him snore for a bit.
And then it was 9am and I had to be off and away home to prepare for work, only as I'd gone out in contacts, and I'd taken them out as I'm paranoid about sleeping in them, in case "somehow" they end up at the back of my eyeball.
So cold, mildly ill from the shots I'd drunk I made my way partially blind across London, got changed, popped on here and then went to work!
I'm tired now!

Fuck me, just got in from a night out.
why do I drink shots? I know I always end up feeling bad afterwards.
I have to be in work in one hour 40 minutes!
Yeah!

Full story later!

As you all probably know I'm not a girly kinda girl, my make up routine consists of brush teeth, brush hair go.
I'm very low maintaiance, and lazy.
I loathe shaving, its so fucking boring, and it takes so long, guys come on, imagine the whole shaving face boring routine and then times it by about a hundred, legs, arms and anywhere else that might need a trim up.
I hate it, its boring, so I leave it for as long as possible. Weeks and weeks until I start to resemble a yeti (to be fair though, It seems pointless shaving them in winter when no one sees my legs and if I have a night out planned then I'll do them then as well.)
So I'm always looking for ways to stop them growing and save me the hassle of shaving.
I tried those immac/veet cream things, that go on and then you wipe it off. I didnt have much luck with that, I'd have had less of a workout if I was sandpapering a whole room, so I tried again with some scrapy effort, and that worked kinda well, except it took great chunks of my skin with it, and then burned the rest (damn this sensitive skin)
So that leaves one option, and today I took the plunge and tried to wax them, it was partially sucessful, it didnt hurt as much as I thought it might (although this might be cos I cheated and shaved a few days prior)
However I've been left with a problem, I cant get the wax residue off my leg, I tried soap, I tried shampoo, I even really scraped the bottom of the barrel and used toothpaste (and my bros toothbrush - ssssh!) to try and remove it, but the damn stuff is stuck firm.
So I'm sitting here writing this, with half my jean leg firmly stuck and trapped to my leg.
I'm not looking forward to taking them off tonight, I think my jeans will rip and still remain attached to the wax attached to my leg.

Last Wednesday, we had a Top, Top Head Office guy come to our shop, it was supposedly to be a routine thing, but we all knew he had an ulterior motive, mainly the magical disappearance of stock somewhere between the delivery truck and the tills.
It basically was a "you're lying about the theft and we're gonna persecute you until we discover which one of our loyal staff are stealing from us"
Which worked well until Druggie Shoplifter No.1 came in, (I so wanna use their real names but fear what might happen if I do
Perhaps we'll go off onto a tangent and I'll make a new section on the Who's who bit describing my nutter customers)
But from now on we'll call him POB, as they are his initials.
Anyhoo! while Mr Suspicious Head Office was down on Wednesday POB came into our shop and his little druggy filled eyes lit up at the sight of the shampoos (normally we have to hide them away as they are the number one target for getting stolen, but cos of the visit everything had to be out)
And he promptly put three in his coat.
Big Boss Lady spotted him out of the corner of her eye as she stood getting chastised by Mr Head Office and went after him.
anyway, this was enough to convince him, that hey, Woolwich, home of the Benefit Cheat, Druggie and Pound shops is perhaps not filled with the kinda people who will look in a shop and leave without stealing.
So we got CCTV installed today, which has fascinated me immensely, no longer will I have to worry about being left alone and attacked by a shoplifter (again) and being found in a pool of blood, by the next customer who will see my mangled body, calmly step over it, and help themselves to some echineacea.
Also and more exciting, when I quizzed the CCTV man, he said I can install an arial and tune in normal TV!
Why didnt we have this during the World cup?!!!

I've decided we need to inject some culture and learning and stuff into this blog.
So from here on in, or until I get bored of running about the aquarium with my new camera phone, prepare for Charby's Friday Fish Of The Week! With a few hopefully unknown facts about fun Fish species.
Yeah!
First one! ! CLOWNFISH!


This is Daddy Nemo! Or more technically a Clarks anemonefish.
Anyway, if you can make out the red on the rock, they're baby Nemos!
Although this set never hatched either.
Anyway, Daddy Nemo does all the hard work of looking after the eggs and stuff, in this pic he's been fanning them with his fin to keep them aearated and then he nibbles dirt of them, really gently so its really sad to see all his work for nothing.
Mummy Clownfish gets to cruise about, chasing off anything that might attack Dad, the eggs or the aneomone.
What else is cool about the clownfish is that they change sex, which is fairly common in the fishy world.
They're all born as males, with a dominant female, a male and in our setup at least, with an Uncle (well I like to call him that anyway)
If the female dies, the dominant male then becomes a female and the uncle gets promoted to dominant male and so on.

So I think I've finally caught up on all the sleep that I've missed out on over the weekend!
Its been a funny old week so far, with a funny, but gory story, although its not funny in a way.
Basically a woman I know at the stables got her thumb bitten off and then spat out by a horse and then the first woman to pick it up then fainted and cracked her head open, gross I know but funny.
Today was my new conservation day and I spent most of it sorting out a Compost heap, I was quite enjoying it, happy as larry, reminding me of long ago days chucking up muck on the muckheap at the stables.
Unfortunately, its been about 6 years since I did that regularly and my hands have gone weak and soft and I'm now finding typing very hard to do so due to the MASSIVE BIG FUCK OFF BLISTERS on my hand.
OUCH.
Yes, just like that.
I've started to think about taking up another job in the evenings to save money for NZ. But yeah, I bet it just stays as thoughts and not bothering!
Oh! And HAPPY 21ST BRAT!

So my weekend?
Hectic! Great fun but very manic!
Thursday was a bit of a bummer seeing as I was trapped in work, and then half way through realised that I'd forgotten to pack my super-duper travelling toothbrush.
So once that little trauma was resolved I headed towards Derby, and met MH and her new little car Davy.
She drove me to the worlds greatest pizza shop and then we had a quick drink (well she had a quick coke) at Our Beloved Friary and then we drove to see STF, heard all about his new girlfriend (apparently he's not going to mess her about "Charlton I've reformed, I'm now just a loveable Rogue" He swore)
Drove back to Chadd where MH is currently residing, after a trip for old times sake to see the magic buzzing streetlight (5 years and still flickering and buzzing) and our old house!
Aaah I miss The House That Was Never Warm!
Then we sat up chatting for ages about all her Man Problems (There's three fighting for her, or three that she's interested in, you can never tell the difference with her)
Next day I woke early and toddled off to see H2, her baby was due on Sunday gone and I was a little worried about her dropping Bump while I was there, I warned her, that if Baby made an appearance, I'd ring an ambulance and do a runner.
Then it was a short toddle to the Eagle Centre and then on the train to Nottingham, where I met the Lizard, who is as cool as ever, so all I was worried about the other weekend is silliness!
She drove me to Sheffield so we could go to the big shopping centre there and eat Ben and Jerrys from the special Ben and Jerrys shop!
Then back home to meet her lovely but mental dog Wilf and then out to the pub before crawling into bed at a stupid hour again!
And again up at a random hour for a train ride home and then I listened to another poor performance by the Addicks before meeting a mates dad to get to Croyden.
(This really is turning into a Hyde-esque sized post)
I've never mentioned my mate K on here, I used to know him about 7 years ago when we were both taking GCSES together, but then drifted apart, anyone on one of my many trips to sign on, He spotted me walking down the street and resolved to dig out my phone number and get in touch.
Which is ace, now the thing about K is that he was a big Wrestling fan when we knew each other and he's still very into it now, and he goes to Wrestling School, when not holding down a responsible bank-city type job in Canary Wharf.
And he wanted me to go see his show, which was fun, and silly and a cool way to spend my Saturday afternoon.
So again I stumbled in at about 1am, which was the earliest night of the weekend.
Sunday I chilled mostly, helped me Mam paint the new Kitchen and then headed towards Greenwich to help E celebrate her 25 successful years on the planet.
Which was funky, lots of people from her work showed up and from my shop and I discovered I'd aquired the nick name "Granville" from Open All Hours. due to my incompetence with the till (although its still not slammed on my fingers)
So another late night there and then finally an early morning to get to work, in which I dealt with the Bad Druggie Shoplifter, radioed Street CCTV to save him after he unwisely chose to pick a fight with a girl. She was kicking his ass!
Later we heard over the radio, that he'd flipped and was running about with a needle in his neck and another in his hand threatening to stab the police.
But yeah, that brings me up to date with my weekend and I'm exhausted!

Oh man, its been a hectic week.
I've taken up a new volunteer position at an ecology park and i've spent today digging up bulrushes and wading in the river and pulling up bindweed.
Tomorrow, straight from work. I am going up to Derby to stay with MH, pop to Saddlers (God I've been more excited about going to that pizza place than anything else!) quick visit to see N and STF, before sleep, in the morning I'm rushing off to see H2 (Bump is ready to drop anyday now and I've warned her that once it does come I refuse to see her until its toilet trained)
Then I'm racing over to Nottingham to see The Lizard who is taking me to Mansfield for a night out, Saturday morning I'm getting the train back down to London cos I need to get to Croyden to see a mates show thingy and then Sunday I'm going on a pub crawl with E round Greenwich for her birthday!
Phew! I'm gonna be knackered!

There's a White Shark in Captivity!

One of the aquarists was telling me today, he got caught a few days ago in (where the hell is this place anyway? California?) and is in the Monterey Bay Aquarium, he's only the 2nd ever white shark to be captive.
And now you too, can sit here like I am right now, patiently waiting for a shark to swim past THIS camera and shrieking with excitement everytime a pissy little blacktip goes past

There has been a pesky sparrowhawk hanging around my parrots for a few days now. She sits down by the cage or on the roof and occasionally launches an attack on them, before being baffled by the wire preventing her from getting a tasty treat.
Of course my birds are equally unconvinced of the strength of the wire and keep running around screaming and panicking when it does launch an attack.
It bothers me it being around, it's already frightened one of the baby quail to death but neither do I want to destroy the bird, so I'm going out to buy a mock-plastic owl to sit on the roof of the cage to see if that encourages her to go away.

And I've scored a new volunteer position, I've quit Wednesday FishDay so from next week I can go volunteer at the ecology park near the Mill Dome, I can learn exciting things like tree coppicing, and weeding and building nest boxes and shit like that.
So it's something else that I can put on the CV as something I can do, rather than just being an unemployable zoologist who can kinda-just-about use a till in a shop!

And it looks like adventures might be heading my way, my drinking buddy Welshy is coming back to London, the Lizard has invited me for a night out in Mansfield. (lets see if it beats last times adventure, where I nearly started a fight with two men - how I LOATHE people groping me while I dance!) plus a weekend in Derby in the start of October to celebrate 5 years since starting the degree (how time flies!)
And another weekend, that I might mention to you guys later, I'm still pretty unsure of it at the moment.
AND a possible week in Scotland with TP and TJ!
Things are looking up!

My boss at the aquarium, always a happy camper bounded over to be as I sat on the craft table.
(50p per badge/jellyfish)
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Nothing, why?"
Get yourself a formal top, youre coming to the event tonight. Free bar, free ice cream, free chocolate fountain."
"I'm there! Just name the time and place"

It was like my wildest dreams all come true!

Shame the drinks were all champagne though, despite my best efforts to learn to like it, I remain revolted by it.

I had to go up to Pimlico today for a course in this promotion effort and take a test.
One I'd not be able to cheat for (hehehe) So I was pretty apprensive about taking it, but I passed, yeah me with a grand score of 87% (pass mark of 85%!)
The trainer taking the course was a prat though, he could tell that I was bored stupid and kept picking on me to answer things. Booo!
I dont like it when my lack of knowledge is exposed to the world. So I think we were both pleasantly shocked when I passed!! One more big exam and then I get my promotion I think, I hope!

And Steve Irwin died yesterday.
Being stung by a stingray is a pretty freaky way to go out. Most incidents where you end up getting stung aint fatal, but I guess it could have brought on a heart attack or something.
I was pretty gutted by this, I was hoping to see him when I went to Australia. You might not be so keen on his style, but he was so animated and in love with everything he did that you'd couldn't fail to get swept along with it all.
I remember seeing him in a show on Komodo dragons, big fuckoff man eating lizards and one attacked and chased him and as soon as he was safely away from it, he came out with the immortal line... "That was close... too close. Lets go back and follow them!"

"I've been a bridesmaid several times, and I can say with great authority that your job will be to dress in a dress someone else chooses for you and stand where they tell you. After your duties are done, you usually are forced to sit at a table facing everyone else in the room while they watch you eat and drink."
Oh dear God. I really dont think I'm the right person to be asked to be a bridesmaid. Still! Here's hoping he was very drunk and didnt mean the offer or I can wiggle out of it.
Our family gatherings are always great fun. We all meet up and go to football together, but other than that we only meet up for family dos like this.
Normally me and my brothers plan of action is to head to the bar and stay there as long as possible and get as drunk as possible in the quickest amount of time, which is probably common to all families!
Only as The Brat was driving I took it upon myself to do his drinking for him, which is fine in a crowded bar and you can get served without drawing too much attention to your drinking.
Unfortunately for me, I got Id'ed as soon as I went to the bar, as I didnt have ID to hand, I had to grab my Aunty G to "prove" I was over 18. So I now stood out.
Possibly going up to the bar 3 times in forty minutes also didnt help my cause, or my mother knocking the glass out of my hand (while I was still reasonably sober although I bet the bar staff didnt think so!)
Ah fuck it. I decided. Ive already made people think I'm an underage drinker, lets totally throw the bottle out and really draw attention to myself.
So by running across the empty dancefloor to request 5,6,7,8 by steps (again, there's no attempt to hide my love of cheese to dance to, I can almost SEE Flashy shuddering!)
And then doing some shameful dirty dancing with my Aunty G to the Grease Megamix. I think I did a pretty good job of drawing attention to myself, and fulfilling my mission of getting hammered.
Oh God I hope they were joking about the bridesmaid thing.

Oh and is it a bad thing that as soon as you walk through the door of your local chinese takaway they've handed your order over to the kitchen. I think I might spend a little too much time in there!

its M and s's engangemen t.
they asked me to be a bridemesaid by prixt. what the fuckiny fuck does a bridesmaid do?
they'll think twice one the drink has kicked in.
im taking my auntys on a pubv crwal.
fuck me. im cool;.

A man pops into the shop.
"Do you sell phone cards?"
"Sorry?!"
"Phone cards, you know, to swipe and top my phone up with?"
"Err, no. Sorry."
"Oh. Ok. Do you know where I can find one?"
"The phone shop maybe? The one just down the road there? Or the one opposite us?"
I walk him to the front door of the shop and point at two of the many many phone shops in Woolwich.
Unfortunately, this coincides with another trip to our shop for The Lurker. Today he is resplendent in a sky blue jumper and mustard cap, which he has fastened to his head with the aid of an elastic band, a matching band is around his ear and he's sporting the latest style of trouserwear, as in dirty grey trackie bottoms, with one leg rolled to above the knee.
"Charby!" He greets me with delight and I cringe. "Hullo." He decides against popping into our shop for the forth time today and carries on.
I point at the shops again.
"Oh! Maybe! I never thought of that!" He beams delightedly at me and walks off and into New Look.

....
A man stinking most suspiciously of fags and weed wanders into our shop and stands in front of the till, swaying slightly.
The Radio crackles into life.
"[health shop that must not be named] this is Street CCTV recieving. Has this man (gives description of the man standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME) entered your store? If so be careful, he's a known thief and can be dangerous if confronted."
"Oh. Ok."
"So just keep an eye alright?"
Whoa, hang on, he's been listening to me talk about him to the CCTV control people, and now you're leaving me o deal with him.
I dont think so buster!
"I think you guys should get down here." I lie. "He's causing trouble."
Actually he's too stoned to do much in the way of movement and he staggers out the shop.

While waiting for my bus, it looks like its gonna kick off between some mouthy girls on one side of the road and two girls about 14, one is at least 8 months pregnant.
"Dont worry." She says confidently. "That whore comes over here and starts I got your back. I might be pregnant, but I can still fight that slag."
I wonder if perhaps the best thing for her is to lose the kid and then save it from a life like that.

Just another typical day in Woolwich! Hometown to all of S.E Londons nutters!

WE won yesterday! Yeeaaahh! And there is a stranger in our midst. The Brat gave up his season ticket last year and C who is our buffer between Scary M and Mr Swindon was gonna bring her kid to sit there, and in our typically disorganised way, left her to sort it as The Brats seat is inbetween mine and E's (only he never sat there.)
Anyhoo, we got to the ground and there was a stranger sat between us and C's kid, apparently has the seat to the right and a few along. Its a mystery!
And then JF turned up in Greenwich and I took her out to the Cutty Sark pub, and we had a nice night out.

But I promised you guys the story of the man who threatened me (Over a penny!) so sit back and make yourselves comfortable.

It was a busy lunch hour and I'd been left alone while the Big Boss Lady had headed out.
Now our shop has a minimum amount to be spent on the card and thats a fiver. This indian man had stuff that came to 4.99 so I pointed out that he couldnt use his card and he'd need to get something else or I'd look after it till he went to the bank, what ever was easist.
"No!" He shouted at me. "Why should I do that? You should be able to do that for me."
"Look, our systems pretty old and feeble. It wont handle it."
"Well change it!"
"I can't!"
"Change the details to be a fiver!"
"I cant do that!"
"Well this is ridiculous! Why are you so niave? Have you no idea how a shop works?!"
"Clearly I do, and I can't change it."
By now the queue behind me has grown and there's tutting and grumbling, I'm not sure at who but suspect its me, but there's nothing I can do and then he starts ranting and raving at me, demanding to speak to my manager who is out and who anyway would say the same thing and then he starts having a go at me, calling me stupid, niave and incompetent and using all these big words in the wrong context and by now I've lost my temper with him.
"Sir. It clearly isnt me who's niave, and if you're gonna use big words, at least use them correctly"
Ooops. Wrong move Charb!
He almost turns purple with rage and then starts shouting and raving about how he only lives a short way away and I should be frightened cos he's gonna go home and get a knife and then be waiting for me when the shop closes.
Seeing as I finish a half hour before the shop does I'm not too perturbed by his threat, anyway if you took all the ones you get in Woolwich seriously then no one would go to work at all.
Although I'll admit I was shaking and wobbly-legged about the whole thing for a while afterwards!

fucking shop lifters!

THe morning girl, caught someone behind the till yesterday and tried to pin him there, while shouting for help.
Obviously he just barged past her, and even though a lot of the the Gymmie type people where there, no one tried to help her.
(I realise I've not told yet about the man who in the middle of a busy queue threatened to stab me and how the customers turned their backs on me, I will tomorrow though!)
Today I spotted one of the druggies, (I'm so tempted to use the real names of the shoplifters but perhaps its not the best idea) trying to take bottles of shampoo from behind the counter.
So I went up to him.
"Hi! Can I help you! Yeah I know exactly what the fuck you're up to and you're not gonna get away with it.
"Shit!" Opens a bottle. "I was just smelling it!"
Yeah sure fuckwit, walk away now.

And The Lurker, who seems to have developed something of a fixation, has recently been revealed as schizophrenic. Hmm.

Also in todays shop adventures, I successfully prevented some chinese twat giving me about 200 quids worth of forged twenties (or maybe I jumped to conclusions, but as if I'm just gonna change that up for him, what do I look like a fucking bank?)

Yeah!

I love the start of the football season, all those hopes and dreams, the first wearing of the brand new shirt, the sight of old mates, reclaiming your old favoured seat, seeing the sights, hearing the sounds, the smell of frying onions and chip shop chips.
Only... its supposed to be August sunshine on a Saturday afternoon, not a wet Wednesday afternoon and its supposed to be easy opposition not fucking Man United.
The first half seemed ok, we challenged them and it seemed pretty even.
Once the first goal went in though early in the second half.
They are a bunch of cunts though! I saw that Evra and his constant foul-throwing and when he bear hugged Lukey Young to pieces and Rio throw the ball at the back of Hermann's head.

Pah, maybe on saturday we can beat the might that is Bolton!

I met Curbs today! He's my new best friend!

He was slumming it doing a book signing in Woolwich so I rushed over after work and stood in the queue!

He laughed at me too! Boo!

Well when I told him how to spell my real name!

And then I asked him how his holiday was, He was supposed to be going to New Zealand and he told me he was going in September.
So I told him off and said I was gonna use him for holiday advice and he laughed at me again, and wished me a good holiday!
So we're now best mates! Hurrah!

fucking football.

Today on my way into work I was sat next to all the kids collecting their Alevel results (For those of you who dont know, Alevels are the exams needed to get into uni)
Its kinda scary to think that these kids collecting them now, had only just started school when I got mine.

I remember my Alevel results day very clearly, down to what I was wearing at the time.

I knew that I'd failed my Biology Exam, as I've mentioned before School wasnt the happiest time for me. And with teachers openly mocking my misery and classmates doing their very best to make me feel like shit it was hard to concentrate on anything.
In a fit of madness I decided to retake all 6 biology modules in two days, along with the final exam. Of course by the end of it I was almost ready to collapse with the stress and the knowledge that it had done no good whatsoever.
The days that I took my two English Lit exams were almost as memorable, on the first attempt my brother managed to get himself mugged, so I was worried about him and didnt go as good in that exam as I know I could have.
The second exam I ate 4 packets of sugar-free polos, they have a little warning on them, about how the mass consumption can cause a laxative effect, I've tested it again since then and I wish I'd read those warnings before hand, although whether it'd have stopped me or not from doing it is another matter...
Its kinda hard to concentrate on John Donne at the best of times, let alone when you're convinced that any minute now your bowels will open, and never ever close again.

So on the day itself I wasnt too convinced on my ability to pass them, but being the stupidly hopeful optimist that I am, remained that something might have happened and I'd have got through.

Of course I failed them miserably and to this day am the proud owner of a U in biology and an E (worst grade possible) in English Lit, I think only my outstanding (hahahahahaha) coursework pulled me through that.
So I cried, and the head of the 6th form centre, tried to tell me it didnt matter, that I could retake them in a year or so, which made me worse, I was already so miserable and so close to doing something drastic at home that I still remain convinced that another year at home and I'd have made a serious attempt on my life.
She suggested that I rang Derby which was my chosen choice anyway and see what they said.

So crying and sobbing I rang John Cassella, who will always remain a hero after his organisation of my Graduation, who suggested I take the HND route into zoology.
Which I did, and it was the best thing I ever did!
So you see, even cocking up your alevels dont mean the end of the world!

So it was a fairly nice birthday, pretty quiet which was what I wanted.
My grandparents gave me a hundred quid too, which The Brat matched to put aside for my trip, which is ace.
Today I also got a card from Dad's Mum.
Apart from one attention-seeking phone call a week or so ago, we've not heard anything from that side of tha family, but who cares? Amused to see that the card was posted and not actually brought round to me but that's not my problem.

So what did I do on my birthday?

Well in a fit of madness (and possibly slightly drunkenness) I applied for a two week volunteer position in Bristol, working with young foals.
The woman emailed me back today and seemed pretty keen on having me, so if I can get my two weeks holiday sorted from the shop I guess that's what I'll be doing!!!
I'm pretty chuffed about it really, I miss hanging round the stables, and I've never really spent that much time around young foals.
And these will be reaching the age of teenagerdom, all lanky legs and spotty and wanting to be stroppy and stay out late and smoke at bus stops.
So they'll be pretty cute.
And as I'll be in the back of beyond, spending money will be virtually impossible (unless these foals talk me into buying them fags from the local cornershop), accomodation and food is all thrown in, so it'll be like a holiday!
Only with baby horses! And it'll look great on the CV and did I mention the cute little baby horses?
So hopefully I'll be able to arrange time away from work and the Aquarium and go play!

Happy Birthday Charby!!!!!

How can I have not blooged for nearly a week?!
And there has been excitement of such, that I can't possibly begin to tell you!

Ok thats a lie, but it got you interested didnt it?!

So what has been going on?

Well not a lot, I'm still scolding The Mothership for trying to do housework. The Brat is still avoiding it.

Oooh oooh! But the men who came in the other week and knocked me over came back into our shop on Tuesday, He looked at me, I looked at him, smiled sweetly and rang the buzzer, he walked out minus his attempted stolen items.
I think that counts as 1-1 to both of us!
Today, while listening to the walkie-talkie that connects us to the CCTV street team, I was visted by the Community Police type people who told us that they've arrested the dudes, after they came in Wednesday and stold more stock, and they might be bringing it back to us.
So 2-1 to us! We win, thank you very much!

I've also been getting more and more hyped about this holiday thing, although I can see it taking a large portion of my savings, if not all of them.
Still if you're gonna blow them, you might as well blow it on something good!

And my season Ticket has arrived! Hurrah! Now the start of the football season is nearly, almost here! All those games I can look forward to seeing us lose! Yay!

Yehaaaa!!!

Guess who's going on a tour of the Land Down Under in Feb next year?

I've finally got dates settled, now all thats needed is to organise places to stay, places to visit and flights!!

I'm hoping for a month in New Zealand and two weeks touring Australia starting on the 27th Jan - through to the 10th of March!

I'm gonna meet Skippy and Steve Irwin and Crocodile Dundee and see where they filmed LOTR!

Upon departing my room this morning...

"MOTHER! What are you doing?!"
"Well the bathrooms dirty..."
"No! Bad parent! Go sit down, I'll do it."
....

"Mam! What are you doing out here?!"
"I wanted some Cheese on Toast."
"You're not allowed to bend over, go sit!"

.....

"What the hell are you carrying?"
"Just some small washing"
"Drop it this instant! I'll do it!"

Hmm. Something tells me she's going to be a bad patient

Mums home! yeah!

So there I was getting all excited about the Pre season Friendly!
And we go and lose! To Welling! They aint even a real team!

Blinding own goal though!

so mum's operation went ok, and I've been toddling up and down from the hospital and working, but the Brat has still not been up.
Ho hum, its all good, the worst is over now!

So! The Mothership has gone into hospital today for her hysterectomy (sp?).
And Guess who now becomes Offical Next Of Kin?
Just think of all the things I could sign her up for. Voicebox? Yeah whip it out while you're there she dont need that. Two legs? Bah thats just greedy!
Of course, the downside to this is she's out of action for the week and probably the remainder of the summer.
And The Brat, being unable to cope with this, has reverted as he always does to Incredible levels of Brattishness.
He has already informed me, that he doesnt not plan to do any of the housework or help when she comes out.
It was all we could do to convince him to take us to the QE, and he just dumped us at the hospital, and didnt come in or come to pick me up.
Unless he goes through a change of heart, I imagine the next time Mum will see him will be after I bully and hassle him into agreeing to come pick her up.
Brothers! Sheesh! Are they always this lazy and self-centred?

I've been looking after some duck eggs!!
A couple are duds but two look like they have little duck embryos in them, with little duck feet pressing against the shell as they move and ful of icky looking pumping veins.
I showed them to my brother, he was not impressed.

"They aint ducks! They're fucking aliens!"

I get assaulted at work!
Honestly!

There was these two guys who walked in bold as anything while I was serving on the till and picked up these boxes of protein drink and then walked out with them! I was watching them and although the other bloke left the shop before I could stop him, I was determined not to let the other guy get away.
"Oi! Drop those!" And me - being the smart idiot that I am tried to pull his arm away and grab back the box.
Unfortunately, while he wasnt much taller than me, his arm was roughly the same thickness as my thigh. So when he told me to fucking let go and elbowed me in the stomach there wasnt a lot I could do and I fell backwards landing on my arse.
I now have a nice bruise and am so fucking annoyed that I didnt have the presence of mind to kick him or try and trip him or something while I was on the ground.
And then!! My manager told me off for tackling him, apparently all we're allowed to do is ask "politely" that they put the items down.
Ha! told off for not tackling shoplifters and all I get is a telling off and several bruises when I do try!

2 Random phone calls yesterday..

The first was my Nan as in Dad's Mum, this is the first time she'd got in contact since the funeral, ignoring us since then, actually its the first time we've heard from any of their side of the family.
Like I've mentioned in the past, we've never had much dealings with them so not to hear from them hasn't really been a great upset.
This phone call was a pure cry for attention from her. Like when Dad got put into the hospice and she greeted us with. "Hi I'm dying from Angina."
Ho hum, she pretended to not know who I was, or why she'd called me. And then told me she's going to have a triple heart bypass for her angina. I know people do have ops like that for their angina, but I also know that her's is not that serious enough for it.
(Wont I feel bad if she's actually having one?! Actually then again we probably wont actually get told about it from any of them)

The second one was at 4am this morning, when I'd just gone to bed. Now there's only two people who even consider that calling me at that time in the morning a good idea.
"Hullo N."
"Charlton! I've just got back from Nottingham!.... ramble about a lampost..... When are you coming up again?.... operation? Bah thats nothing... two days and she's back to normal..."
And then the fucker made me play guess the tv show theme tune till half past 5 in the morning.
I'd consider turning my phone off but I need the alarm on it every morning and hanging up just isnt an option when he'll keep calling me back or ring my house phone.
Booo!

So in a week or two, the reason that I'm sticking about will come to pass, well Mothers operation.
And now shock of all shocks, I can start to think about MY future and what I want.
I realise that I'm gonna be here for a bit while she recovers and that, but when October rolls around, I could realistically start looking for a REAL job, in something I enjoy and get paid for and what all that uni lark was about.
Fuckit I can even leave London again *Lets off celebratory firework*
I might end up stopping until The Anniversary, but I will be free to leave, this prison sentence will be over!
And thats what it seems like, I dont regret a minute of coming home, the tears, the boredom, the mindnumbing lonliness and feeling of getting left behind, because I did it for the right reasons.
And soon it will be time for me!
I dont quite know what I'm gonna do when I finally realise that I can be me again. I still have that need to travel and explore, but it is also time to start thinking about a career, God knows I cant put it off much longer!
Yes its a long way off still, but there is a light at the end of this tunnel and its getting closer, day by day!

Oh and remember about March sometime last year I applied for that fishy job in the lab? 22k to look after some fish?
Well I've spotted it up again, same thing, all thats different is the people you apply to and the moneys gone down to 20k.
I thought about applying again and then decided against it, I'm not really down on the whole "animal testing for medical/genetical reasons" and lab work frankly horrifies me.
I'd rather carry on part timing it at the shop and the aquarium and feel good about myself for not killing and tormenting fish.
Pathetic? maybe? but I dont honestly care!!

I had the best customer ever, ever, ever today! EVER!

He was making a complaint about the lack of air con, on this the hottest day of the year so far, (we were heaving heavy boxes about as part of delivery day). My supervisor was in no mood to pander to him and let him know exactly what kind of cheapass cunting company we work for, and that we also wasnt supposed to drink on the shop floor and weren't entitled to free water.
So he asked us if we wanted him to pop over the road to visit one of Mr Whippys little vans to get 99's.
When we politely refused he disappeared, only to return 20 minutes later with tubs of M&S ice cream for us all!
What a legend! I was skipping amongst the Vit C display filled with joy at the thought of the ice cream to come!

And Oh dear Shaun!!

Things that have irritated me today.

1 - the nonce in the shop who after he had enquired about my family and found out that Dad had kicked the bucket, had the guts and balls to inquire if I missed him and then to ask me if I considered seeing a psychic. Cuntbag.
2 - Having a cold (yes a fucking cold) in the middle of summer.
3 - Being told that I am at work every day this week, meaning no aquarium and heaving boxes around on Wednesday - which is predicted to be a record breaker in the heat ness stakes.
4 - Having a miserable supervisor who hardly spoke a word to me all day and sat in the back leaving me to cope on my own virtually all day.

Sigh.

Walking home from the Aquarium. I passed a car, a posh rover effort on a tow truck.
There was a 6 foot feathery wing sticking out the sunroof.
Another big wing slammed into the broken wingscreen.
And as I walked past it, what looked like to be a head, sliced completely off of the neck and half straight down again into the dashboard.
At first I truely thought it was some horrific accident and then sense came to me, as if they'd bung a body onto the tow truck?
Where were the ambulances?
And the guy in a suit on the phone to the AA seemed a little puzzled.

"Yeah. I mean there these Wings! Just like hanging out of the car."

I wonder if an angel really go joy riding?

I had to be at work (in the shop) by half 8 this morning!!

What the hell's that all about?

Jimmy Floyd!!!

Who'd ever, ever ever have imagined that?!

Sometimes in the Shop I play "guess the sex"

My score today was 0. Everyone who I thought was male turned out to be female.

So Pirates of the Carribbean?

Very funny, not as good as the first but still and Kiera Knightley dressed up as a man? She's very sexy.
Orlando Bloom though and Johnny Depp! Wheeeee!

I have duck eggs! 4 to be precise! I'm hatching them, in an incubator, so fingers crossed that when I candle them in 5 days time we'll see little duck embryos in there and they'll all hatch in a month!!

I have quails!
They're so cute and gobble like turkeys, they're pretty tame too and I've been petting them most of the day.
Getting them was a bit of an adventure, had to travel down to Ashford and we got to the village ok but was then told to look out for "A Big Sign for the Darling Buds of May" Well we travelled all over that village and repeatedly rang up asking for help and eventually after circuling the village several times we found it.
It wasn't that big a sign so boo to them!
The farm was great though! It had raindeer! And goats! And piglets! And Ducks! And geese! I love farms.
So I'm now the proud owner of Quentin and Quaver (I love alliteration in names!) quail.
I'll put a pic up on here shortly when they've settled in, they're quite young so look a bit scrawny and have no feathers on their back but that'll all grow back. I'm considering making them little wooly jackets to wear until the feathers grow.
They make the coolest noise too! They sound like robot turkeys!

However when we came back Satan Cockatiel was in a right state. One side of his face was covered in blood, a mask all over his face.
One of the budgies had blood on his beak so I'm not sure if he attacked him or whether he caught himself on something.
But the budgies have laid eggs so maybe he stuck his beak somewhere he shouldnt have and they were defending their eggs.
I had to catch the bird and try and clean him up with some damp cotton buds, so I'll keep him indoors for a week till he recovers and some of the blood scabs fall off or something.

So thanks all for your lovely kind words!

Today was not my best day at the aquarium. While taking a group of 6 year olds round a fish inconviently decided to die in front of me.
Bastard thing.
I managed to pass it off by telling them it was going to the Fishy Hospital to be made better, so unless those 6 year olds are reading this now, I think I've got away with it!

Secondly while doing my first ever "Amazing Life of the Coral Reef" Talk, I managed to completely forget to mention the coral.
I cant believe that, however I did mention everything else with a few giggles.

Tomorrow Mother is taking me to Ashford to get my quail! And possibly to see Pirates 2 so I can drool over certain Misters Bloom and Depp!

Oh and play my game!

6 months ago.

Sometimes it seems like a lifetime ago, sometimes just like something that happened a week ago.
Sometimes customers ask about me, ask what I did to end up in the shop or ask about my folks and I tell them. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything.
And they tell me that they're sorry and you smile at them and thank them politely but inside you feel like shaking them and screaming in their face.
They're not sorry! How can they be? They have no idea about any of it. They have no idea who we are, its just names to them. They dont know him, they dont know us. About what we went through, the things we never speak of, not to each other, not to our closest friends and family, stuff that I've never even put in here but yet is always in the back of my mind. You wonder how much you can talk about before they mentally drown you out or start avoiding you.
And They don't know what we go through now.
How Mum is odder than ever, how she panics when either of us is even ten minutes late home. About how her Brothers are all bullying her to do more with Nanny and Granddad, how we should sell our house and move in with them and care for them so they don't have the burden of it all.
Did I ever tell you guys about how my Uncle J suggested that to my Mum just a few days after the funeral?
So far she's resisting but how long?
About how she greeted pretty much virtual strangers on holiday with "Hi I'm.... and I'm a widow.." Thats not coping surely?
About how she's already putting the pressure on me to not move back out, or to take her with her.
About how much she relies on me. "Her Rock." I dont want to be anyones rock anymore.
And the customers tell me how selfless I am. How much of a big heart I must have and you feel like screaming at them. "No! I'm not! All I did was what was right. What everyone expected of me."
And I think of now and how its affected me. How I find it hard to sit still for a few minutes, with out the need to do something, to occupy myself in some way, but yet how I can't concentrate on anything.
How I lie awake for ages after I finally give in and go to bed, and how you miss him so much it physically hurts.
and of then, and how much I hated and resented being trapped with them, in that situation, when being at home was the very last thing I ever wanted to be.
And how much I'd give anything, do anything to have him back with us, even in that awful state he was in the last month, and that's not being selfless at all.

I have a webcam!
Wheee look at it all webby and cammy!
I dont really know what to do with it now, it took me a while to get it going, after pulling out the wire to the internet while plugging it in.
Now I have an eye and a green light staring at me, what if its on already? what if someone is staring at me?

Maybe I'll need to get it a cover for when I'm not actually using it.

Football!

Fucking Hell!

Having very little else to write about recently, I thought I'd show you some pics my friends took of some of the fish at the aquarium.
This dude here is Albert, I named him that mainly cos I think he looks like a grumpy old man, and Albert seems like a grumpy old mans name!
Octopuses are great fun, when he comes out, most of the time he sleeps all day.
He's good at escaping too, the aquarists have so much security around his tank and he still manages to get out of it!




Percy is our Pufferfish
Hes dead sweet and takes food from our hand, which we're not actually supposed to do, but I can trust you guys to keep it secret!
Apparently unlike in Finding Nemo Pufferfish can only inflate themselves so many times and then cant deflate which leaves them easy targets for predators.


Our clownfish eggs never hatched though, I guess they didnt want to be raised in a single parent family

I went to the Tower of London today!

Its one of the few "main" London attractions that I've never been too.

And I rode up on a boat and now I know how the word wharf originates and all about the sites and things, I know the pub where Captain Kidd was arrested and the house where Nelson lived and the Pub thats made out of parts of the Mayflower!
Yeah! It was like a history lesson only fun!

The tower was ace, we got shown round by one of the Yeomen Warders (Beefeaters) they all live in the Tower grounds! Imagine that? And at night they get locked in the castle and can only get in and out by using a secret code word and have their own doctor on the premises and play football on their "village green" which in olden days was where Anne Boleyn got the chop. How cool is that?
Apparently you can only be a beefeater if you've been in the army 22 years, reached a certain rank and something else though, so unless I marry one of them I dont think I'll be living there!
And I saw the famous ravens and the Crown Jewels, which would be ok, I guess if you like that sorta thing, I just thought it was a lot of glittery tackiness!

An Ace day though!

best bit about this promotion effort?

I get to spend time supposedly doing the work for it in work!
This generally means I spend time gazing into space and doodling on my notebook and getting paid for not being on the shop floor or behind the till!!!

Despite not having a clue about anything at work and STILL fucking stuff up with the till I've been offered a promotion!
Oh yes! I can become a "Product Advisor" instead of just a humble "sales associate"!
And what will my new fancy title mean?
Well If I take the exam within a month and pass, I can have a one off pay bonus, I'm not sure how much of though, probably not a great deal, and its still a fancy title for "shop assistant!"

My clownfish - well they aint mine exactly but heyho - are having babies!
There's a mass of teeny red eggs next to their anemone home!
The dads well cool, I kept hopping off from my appointed task of the half hour to go investigate them.
He waves his little fin over them and sometimes dusts them with his tail fin to ensure a floew of clean fresh water over them and carefully mouths them to remove any sea-dust on them!
He's such a good parent already!
The same cant be said of the mother, her job is to protect them (Dad and eggs) from attack and chase away any bigger fish that could cause a threat.
I think being a potential parent has caused her a bit of a breakdown, she keeps hiding in the coral away from her family.
However if Disney has taught me anything, its that Clownfish fathers make great single parents.

Hopefully (this is the second time in as many months) the eggs will have hatched this time next week as the previous batch were duds.
Hurrah!

what a game!
And what a typically awesome (note the sarcasm) performance from Poll the Arsehole!
Go Aussies!

gotta love this link! I wanna toy poo!

I have a habit of greeting my friends with the term stinky. Upon hindsight, perhaps its not the best term to adress my boss at the aquarium first thing in the morning.

It was odd being in Derby this time. I remember when I knew the name of every station even the ones that I didnt stop at on the way up and now I can't remember if Wellingborough comes before or after Market Harbourgh.
And things there have changed.
Its not the 5 of us any more. R has moved to St Lucia, A is working in Southhampton at the moment and STF was in Germany, although he did come home for this weekend and we went out.
Places I know have changed, and I'm no longer part of that inner circle, there's all kinds of adventures and plans that I'm not part of any more.
I guess its all to be expected really. I'm not living there. I'm not sure if I'll ever go back to live there again and I still want things to be the way they were.
Odd to seeing H2 so pregnant. Hearing that the day before I came up CL's UDOBF had proposed and they're thinking of getting married in April 2008.
Hearing MH talk about her continuing hunt for the perfect man and how she at 25 feels the need to settle down and do housewifey things and that she's sick of the student lifestyle.
I know I'm not ready, not willing for that, I feel sometimes that I was robbed of being careless and not worrying about it all.
I know I'm not the same person I was when I left Derby, I can't barely remember the person that I was 5 years ago when I moved up there.
So why should I want things to stay the same so much?

I had a great time nonetheless, I stayed with N and like I said STF popped home and we went out on a tame (for their standards) night out, where I got shamefully hammered and then overly fascinated with the fact that I could see double when we came home and how many times I needed to tell them I didnt like Indian food when they were shoving it under my nose.
And then they passed out and I curled up in the corner of the bed and got busy with some of my other favourite drunken past times when I can't get near a computer of drunken texting.
I'm still trying to remember what and who I texted though!
And then on Saturday I met MH and I felt sick at the thought of meeting her, I dreaded the invevitable and vile questions of "how are you coping?"
Why can't it be like the lads who greeted me with "Alright Charlton? Get t'bar and getter round in!"
But I lived and we came back to H2's house and played with her cats and played endless games of "I remember such and such an incident"
And then we went to Asda mainly cos I wanted to remember those funny trips up there, when I'd go straight to the items I needed and not waste time going up and down the aisles like they did and it was kinda like old times, especially cos they had an aisle devoted to the World cup and football stuff and showing the Portugal game, (Oh I remember how they did the same during Portugal 2004 and I'd sit in a chair there and watch a DVD of Englands 50 greatest goals while they did endless girly things)
I miss those days where everything now seems careless and carefree. You can forget the bad stuff like how our house was always cold and the Co2 leak we had and how the lad we originally stayed with stunk and made a horrible atmosphere.
So we went for this meal for H2s birthday and of course MH flirted stupidly (I can see it now and how I still sit back and wait for her to get it on with them before I go over and make friends, the way I used to see myself as the hanger-on, the not really in the way but not really wanted by either of them to be there.)
So I drank loads again, combatting my fierce hangover.

Today I met up with The Lizard and it was nice and we went for dinner and a trip to sainsburys (Where me and Mum and Dad had our first ever meal in Derby! And where I took LF once and he offered to buy me flowers and I laughed at the idea that someone would want to buy me flowers and what the hell I'd do with them)
And again it was nice, and nostalgic and I'm all caught up in wanting things to be like they were but knowing that it can't be exactly how it was.
There wont be a red taxi waiting for me at St Pancras every other weekend and there wont be my Dad standing on the platform, waiting to greet me with a huge grin and likeways there isn't the commute up to my house and up those hills every other Sunday.
And a whole weekend without a trip to Our Beloved Friary! Now there's a good reason for another trip!

I ache for things to be like that, and I think I'm also very tired, mentally and physically.

Do you ever get the feeling that sometimes you just can't cope with everything your friends place upon your shoulders?
That you feel like breaking down in tears and crying "no! Enough! I can't do this anymore, I can't be that rock for you, when you're not there for me"
I saw scars on N's arms, deep, ugly red scars and asked him and felt them.
He cuts himself and I feel so bad and so want to help and yet I can't bear the thought of shouldering another burden, I carry too many other peoples burdens.

Why can't things just stay the same?

Yay! My work uniform for the shop has finally arrived, admittedly its the winter shirt but yay!
No more patching this one up everytime I wash it!
Off to Derby for the weekend! See ya!

One of the cleaners at the aquarium brought in his babies today.
They were gorgeous! So cute! And ever so friendly.
Admittedly I was a little worried when he pulled a wriggling bag out of his rucksack but when he produced a handful of baby two-month-old boa constrictors, I fell in love!
They were tiddly! And so cute! I was on the verge of bringone one home and then remembered the birds, and The Brat's phobia of anything that has no legs, and the fact that they grow to 18feet and I reluctantly handed them back.
Boo!

I fucking hate this heat!

Its bad enough in our shop that our air con is permanently switched to hot, although there is an occasional *poof* of air, which has the same strength of someone breathing on you.
We asked Head Office about getting it fixed and they responded by saying it might take 6-8 weeks to get someone out to look at it. Thanks guys, the summer will be over by then.

Incidentally someone complained to Head Office about us drinking on the shop floor, so as I do 5 hour shifts I don’t get a break and am permanently on the shop floor. Often on my own if the Big Boss Woman is doing the paperwork and on lunch and my supervisor spends a lot of time on the phone out the back, having a fag or trundling along the high street.
So I suffer and a Charbs can’t work in this heat and my patience for the Idiot customers is low and I end the day feeling sick and dreading my next shift.
I worked 7 hours on Thursday with no break for a drink or dinner and felt really rough!
So anyway, I’m fighting the power by having my sneaky bottle of water under the till and standing by the doorway whenever I get a chance hoping to find a bit of wind.

The machinery has other ideas, today they came into work and found that the freezers have been over working, and that they’d died and everything had defrosted.
There is only two tills in our shop and one of them has blown up – with purple smoke!!
So once we’d cleared the floors of gravy. We continued our day moaning about the heat and then it suddenly went from brilliant heat to thunderstorms, hailstones and torrential rain!
And we flooded! Ever seen those cartoons where a character opens the door and a huge wave of water rushes out soaking him?
Well it was like that!With the odd box or packet of papaya floating past!
Loads of stock ruined!
And the computer and ticker that records everything got wet too!
All the time dealing with the waterfall above our heads We mopped up the best we could and then rang Head Office. And remember this is the company that refuses to give us CCTV, claiming its not cost-effective – (fuck our safety or whatever!) Told us that they might send some one round on Friday, and until then we’re too do the best we can and carry on as normal*

So if you happen to be in Woolwich High Street tomorrow and pop your head in and see members of staff, lying dead and electrocuted on the floor and bottles of Evening Primrose Oil floating about you’ll know what happened.


* of course I’m hoping that we’re closed for Thursday so that I can watch the England game in peace!!!

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Its the world Cup! Hurrah! Go out and miss the key clash of Mexico/Iran? You're having a laugh?
(How boring was the Portugal/Angola match though?)
And Englands got off to a winning start, although I still remain convinced (and even more so after yesterday) that we're facing another q/f exit!
And if anyone can think of a better way to spend their day apart from drinking in Greenwich, watching the Sweden match outside in the Sun by the Trafalgar and getting the worlds nicest Apple Pie at the Yacht over looking the river?

The only problem I have is that its too fucking hot! I'm hiding indoors from it and my poor birdies are sweltering! I put in a bath for them, they paddle in it and have water fights, they're so funny!

Today was Granddad's birthday so we all (minus D) arrived at the Anchor In Hope on the other side of Shooters Hill, and watched the Holland game and laughed and joked.
It was fun! And an idea was suggested by M that we all go off to Cuba for Christmas and New Year! We'll see how that one plays out, it'd be a quality holiday!

And next weekend I'm going up to Derby, bit sad really cos STF will be in Germany doing his World Cup thing and I think most of the lads will be busy doing stuff, so although I'm staying at N's I'm not really sure if there will be any decent nights out with them all, but its H2's birthday and MH will be there and I'm going to meet The Lizard so it should be a fun weekend anyway!

Wheee!

Hello there! Have you missed me? I've tried to blog honest!
But Blogger has been a Queen Bitch all week!
Any one else had this problem?
The World Cup is here! Yeehaaa!

ANNNNDDD I've been asked to stay on at the aquarium for another three months!
I absolutely love working there its the highlight of my week, and I'd like to be considered for a perm job there if one came up.
However, there is one part I dislike and thats the public talks, I guess you need to be a certain kind of person to be able to handle talking over hundreds of kids/tourists who aint listening to a word you say, or to give a talk to just one or two people and see your crowd dwindle off as they go onto to see other exhibits.
I'm not that kinda person, maybe its something that will come in time, all the people that work there are doing it everyday and I just have to put myself through it once or twice a week.
but I dislike all the crowds and the kids under my feet all day and the repedative screaming at them NOT TO FUCKING SPLASH THE WATER IN THE RAY TOUCHPOOL!
So I'd like to get into the quarintine department I think and I'd like to find out how to go about that, its so much more hands on with the fish and best of all its all behind the scenes so I can stay there and not have to deal with the public.
Only thing is they're obviously very picky about who they pick and you need a gazillion years of experience with fish beforehand.
So we'll make discreet enquiries and if not maybe we'll sign up for another three months, like I said, I do really enjoy working there.

This is chief Journalist Charby McCharb reporting to you live from her computer!
*NOW UPDATED*

Uncunformed reports indicate that a shot has gone off in the house next door but one, and indeed a gun has been carried out!
The police were called about half hour ago, after people broke in and set on the house, we're not sure of the full details and we are all aware of the not so pure background of the people next door but one.
Is this a vendetta attack? A robbery that went wrong?
Who knows? An Eyewitness by the name of Charbs McCharby can say is that they heard a lot of shouting and then the father of the house in the street with blood running down him.
Paramedics, dog handlers, SWAT teams, (ok maybe not, but definately Special Operations) and normal police were quickly on the scene.
We'll try to get back to this story with more rumour and hearsay later tonight!
For now I'm heading back off to my familar position on the Woolwich Front Line!
Over and Out!


*update*

Apparently they pulled a gun on C coming down the stairs, but it didnt work or something? Anyway, the Father is now back at home and the boys are all here, and they've found the clothes or something, I'll fill more details in as they come through! Wheee!

Project bird cage is finished!

I've installed them all in now and they look terrified poor things, its all the outside noises and natural light and not being able to hear the telly I guess!

Pictures forthcoming with Blogger stops being a bitch!

Hi!
I'm back! And fuck me am I burnt! I thought Ireland was supposed to be a rainy country?
I had a great time and one without any of my usual disasters hehehe!
Here's my caravan!










And here's me and my new bestest horsey buddy Tommy!

Going on Holidays today!

Yay! Be good all! Be back saturday!

Ian Dowie!!!!!

It was like the worlds worst kept secret ever, ever, ever!
Although I was still hoping Scolari might be unveiled! (hey a girl can dream!).

The main problem I have with this is that Dowie looks suspiciously like Sloth and I was always scared of Sloth.
I mean it guys! I still have problems watching the Goonies!
But I'll guess I'll reserve judgement on Dowie until the season kicks off (got new ticket today -whooo!)

And honestly! What kinda saddo is Jordan? What was that attention seeking all about with the writ?









Sloth from the Goonies.




Ian Dowie.

The Brat scratched his head and stared.

"So I left the house about three hours ago and there was five birds."
"Yup!" I agreed.
"Now there's 10."
"Again technically true."
"What the hell are they in the corner?"
"Mini-peepers!"
"What?"
"Chickens! Well baby chickens. Aint they cute?"
"They're hideous!"
"Why do we have chickens?"
"Well technically I'm only looking after these two, they're going home on Thursday."
"Are the parrots going home too?"
"Well not really, see I saw them in a pet shop and thought they looked fun."
One parrot skidded around at 20 million miles an hour upside down on top of the cage like a bat.
"Well..."
"And I was only gonna get the one see, and then I thought it'd be a bit mean to get one, so thought I'd get the pair and then the woman pretty much begged on her hands and knees for me to take the third and she reduced the price on it too, so I've kinda got a foot and tail for free!"
"So how much was it?"
*mumble* *hundred quid for three *mumble*
He scratches his head again. "Well as long as I dont have to go near them."







The Mini-peepers! They're so ugly they're cute! And they make more noise than all my lot put together!









New Parrots!

So perhaps now I've re-read my weekends posting I owe a little bit of an explaination.
I still reckon I was completely sober all weekend, obviously though, my fingers get a bit drunk, a bit quicker than the rest of me!

So Friday I show up at the aquarium and promptly get invited on a night out. I only possess my work shirt for there, and nice as it is, I can't see it going down well in a pub, especially as its adorned with a large sewn on shark and several badges that I make when I get bored at the craft table.
But luckily K from Swansea, lends me a nice black top and away we go to The Horse Bar somewhere on Westminster Bridge Road.
So yay! We settle down for some serious drinking with other members of the Education Department and The Hallowed Aquarists, responsible for all fishcare and who (bastards that they are) get to hide behind the scenes and never deal with the public (obviously I'm after a position down there, even if would spend all day stinking of fish)
I've not been proper drinking since I met Flash and Spins so I'm well excited. (plus some of the aquarists are very cute!)
Anyway I think I aquitted myself well, nine double archers and lemonades's later and I've outlasted many of the aquarists and a few of the education dept too!
K from Swansea, then decided to show me how she has double jointed shoulder blades, so I demonstrate my famous-hand-that-can-revolve-around-360 degrees trick.
I'm rewarded by a box of purloined matches from the bar.
I demonstrate the trick several times over and my pockets fill up with matchboxes. Then one of the aquarists pinched a box for their fags!
Oh the horror! How dare she?! They're MY presents!
So I instantly fill my pockets up and what to do with the others? Well sticking them down my bra seemed the only sensible place to keep them safe.
Somewhere else along this point, I challenge B from OZtralia in a "show-me-yours-and-i'll-show-you-mine" thing.
Only I claim forfeit cos he had a really hairy chest, which I dislike so I claimed I was too revolted to show mine - incidently aquarists are really boring people! I listened to one discuss his favourite terrapin for 20 minutes and another talk about the problems of feeding the sharks.
So yeah, ho-hum, then I realised that I didnt wanna get trapped in London again and scuttled back of to Waterloo Station, scattering boxes of matches on my way!

Saturday was my mums best mates daughters 16th (follow that?) and we get invited round to a BBQ.
My "excuse" for my behavour was that I was drinking WKD and all the caffine sent me hyper, cos her oldest brothers mate, showed up, with what was possibly the coolest hat I've ever seen since my awesome Wormy Hat!
After Extensive googling, I believe it was this.
Possibly bouncing up to a guy I'd never met, waving a burger at him and promptly stealing his hat might have shall we say, spooked him a bit. He disappeared with the hat and I didnt get to see him again until I had consumed all the WKD and was working my way through a bottle of vodka that I was mixing in a pint glass with orange juice and lemonade.
Looking back perhaps he wasnt eyeing me up, perhaps it was just fear.
Anyway, I launched another attack on the hat, which he tried to hide from me.
Pppfftt I grew up with The Brat, I dug him in the back of the knee and he yelped and let go of the hat, which I ran away with again.
He promptly persued me upstairs into their bathroom, and I tried to offer a fair exhange for the hat, including some of my Aquarium badges, my trainers and my glasses, which I thought was a fair trade.
Trying to hold a door shut by leaning on it isnt something I can do well, especially in just socks, so I was sliding over the floor, they took advantage of this and burst into the bathroom.
I then tried to make an escape out of the bathroom window, only well I'm not sure how but I kinda dented the hat getting stuck, whilst hanging out the window.
Shortly after this my Mother decided it was time we left.

wee! I think i pulled someone wiyh a great, hat, then i btrok the hat cliumbing out a window. so you know fuck him!

Weee!

So yyeah, a good place to hide matches are in your bra.

Continuing this weeks theme of short posts!

Guess how many people I did my second ever talk in front of!

(Answer in the comment box!)

I've been playing with a pneumatic drill! Yeeha! Its as much fun as you'd think it'd be

If anyone tells you that I sat back and watched over sixty pounds worth of stuff get nicked from our shop you'd be wrong - cos in fact it totaled 58 pounds and forty pence.

Yesterday I had to do my first public talk to the public (well dur!) at the aquarium! It was a bit scary, getting in there and finding out I'd been nominated to do a talk.
It went pretty badly I think, I forgot lots of stuff, giggled nervously through it and had problems with the microphone - still here's hoping the next one goes a bit better!

So the 19th of May dawned, the woman dressed and then dressed her daughter and they made their way on the bus to Woolwich Town Hall where the registery office is.
She had no doubts at all that he would be waiting for her and all their friends too, and they were there hungover and tired but she was overjoyed, although hating to be the centre of attention.
The ceremony at 11 am was short and brief and they then all rode on the bus back to the pub that they had hired out for the party.
His best man and Godfather to the little girl, still drunk from the night before, fascinated by the little toy, ball that belonged to the baby, inside was a duck that refused to turn over despite all the shaking and damage that they could cause to it as they rolled it up and down the bus.
The womans father had put money behind the till and they partied to celebrate the start of their new lives together as a family.
Cousins of the man had a whip round to collect money to help start them off and raised about 200 quid and then did a runner with it, but this wasnt found out till many, many years later.
And then it was closing time for the pub, and time for the FA Cup Final (Everton - Watford) so the party trooped back off to their house but they all passed out before the game even started and the baby and the woman were the only two awake for it.


HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MUM (AND DAD TOO I GUESS)!!!!!!!

Once about 23 years ago, a young girl, just nearing the end of her teens was dragged to a shabby, run down pub in Lewisham.
"You gotta come out!" Her sister urged. "Come and meet G, you'll like him, and his mates, he's just got back from a trip to Corfu!"
So she allowed herself to dragged to the pub.
"I'll go and get him!" The sister urged and feeling like a fool, she nodded and waited outside.
There was a commotion near the door and out fell the man with the bluest, twinkliest eyes ever and she instantly fell in love.
"L this is G" Her sister made the introduction and this girl started a hesitant conversation with him, finding him easy to talk to and lots of fun.
He invited her to the pictures to see "Porkys" and despite him threatening to walk out on her with her loud and embarrassing laughter, they had another wonderful time.
They dated for a few months, they were very different people, he very laidback and found fun in most situations, her more volatile and ready to fly of the handle over anything, much like the rest of her family.
One day after a furious row in the pub over a silly trival incident she stormed off barefoot and made her way up Blackheath Hill and onto the Heath to walk home and he ran all the way up the hill after her.
One day her parents had to go to court about a custody battle over her cousin, who had been living with them for some time.
She invited him round and cooked her first meal for him, of egg and chips and it was a night of firsts in many more ways than one.
Shortly after this night, the girl found out she was pregnant.
Her family took the news badly, her father refused to speak to her for months, one of her brothers lashed out physically and broke a chair over her back, the man offered to marry her but she refused.
"No! I want to get married because I want to, not because I have too!"
But he wanted to marry her anyway, not just cos both their families said so, but because he loved her just as she loved him.
They set up home together and shortly the woman gave birth to a girl, he redoubled his proposals to her but she kept refusing.
Then one day when the little girl was three months short of her 1st birthday he asked again, in the car park of sainsburys in Woolwich and this time she agreed and the date was set......

To be continued