So in a week or two, the reason that I'm sticking about will come to pass, well Mothers operation.
And now shock of all shocks, I can start to think about MY future and what I want.
I realise that I'm gonna be here for a bit while she recovers and that, but when October rolls around, I could realistically start looking for a REAL job, in something I enjoy and get paid for and what all that uni lark was about.
Fuckit I can even leave London again *Lets off celebratory firework*
I might end up stopping until The Anniversary, but I will be free to leave, this prison sentence will be over!
And thats what it seems like, I dont regret a minute of coming home, the tears, the boredom, the mindnumbing lonliness and feeling of getting left behind, because I did it for the right reasons.
And soon it will be time for me!
I dont quite know what I'm gonna do when I finally realise that I can be me again. I still have that need to travel and explore, but it is also time to start thinking about a career, God knows I cant put it off much longer!
Yes its a long way off still, but there is a light at the end of this tunnel and its getting closer, day by day!

Oh and remember about March sometime last year I applied for that fishy job in the lab? 22k to look after some fish?
Well I've spotted it up again, same thing, all thats different is the people you apply to and the moneys gone down to 20k.
I thought about applying again and then decided against it, I'm not really down on the whole "animal testing for medical/genetical reasons" and lab work frankly horrifies me.
I'd rather carry on part timing it at the shop and the aquarium and feel good about myself for not killing and tormenting fish.
Pathetic? maybe? but I dont honestly care!!