Been a bit of an up and down week at work.

I tried to do a balance transfer on a new credit card and royally fucked it up. Sigh.

Last night I started to organise all of Welshy's things in preparation for him coming to collect them today. Only 18 months after we split!
Was feeling restless and mopey and that didn't help. Drank some wine and thought fuck it. Booked myself flights to Athens in October.

Such an idiot! I was struggling to find money to buy toothpaste today for Gods sake! Took the horse hacking today with another lady from the yard. We were out for hours! She was so good as well!

Had hoped to catch up with Welshy but he came while I was out and took his stuff and left. I don't blame him for this although I'm hugely disappointed. His brother had driven from Wales specially for it and as we discovered last week, its a hellish thing to do.

Its so hot out there today!

I drove to see TP and TJ, poor TP. The growth has doubled since diagnosis three weeks ago and they're rushing forward with chemo.

She's being so brave bless her but is also so worried about it. I hope I managed to distract her slightly.

Also got chance for quick catch up with H2 which was great but again I wish I could have stayed longer.

I really don't know how Dad managed to do it in the same day. Went up Thursday and drove back Friday and it nearly killed me!


Supposed to have been paragliding yesterday but spent most of 4 hours sat in a field waiting for wind to pick up, gave up at 5pm and went home.

I'm going to see my friend Babbs in a bit for a quick pint as that's what hot Sunday's are made for!

Discussed it a bit more with One Night Stand guy - will need to give him a better nickname if he sticks about.
He'd clearly be up for more casual nothingness. I'm not. Different if anything would come from it but its not gonna happen. Although I kinda feel like i'm cutting my nose off to spite my face, I know that I'd end up getting feelings. (Hell they're kinda there already. -can't be honest here, where can I be?) and then end up getting hurt. Didn't that happen (minus the sex) with BB all them years back?

So we're back mocking each other and acting like nothing has happened. Kinda odd lol. Least I've made a new friend out of it!

TP has been given the sentence of 6 months chemo and then an op. I feel so helpless, they're so far away. 164 miles away to be exact.

I'm going to drive up there with the dog Thursday. Spend the evening with them. Drive home Friday. This is the longest drive - bar the weekend I spent at Welshy's I'll have ever done. (205 miles) at least that I drove up Thursday, drove home Sunday. Bit more of a gap.

Not looking forward to it, looking forward to seeing them. Looking forward to the surprise. Wish it could be longer but need to do the horse and *gulp* potential paragliding Saturday.

Did I tell you about the paragliding? Yeah. Was supposed to do it over the bank holiday. Not enough wind so it was cancelled and I had a one night stand instead.

Seriously guys. That paragraph above. What the flying fuck is going on in my life?
This is such a year of adventure compared to last years broken nothingness. Not even sure i'm any better off money wise but still... ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!

I tried to engage him in conversation twice this week and failed.
Hung out as normal at flyball, it was kinda obvious it was a one night thing but being the idiot I am I had to push it, had to ask him. Said he hand't thought about it all that much since.
Left it at that. At least I know. Still no regrets though, although I think I would have liked to have developed it a bit more. I doubt that'll happen now. Feel a bit cut up about that. So much better to be a blow up doll or a man - less feelings involved.

Busy day today, did horse, washed bedding, cut some of the grass, weeded roses, cleaned house. walked dog AND fitted in two naps!

TP finds out tomorrow what her options are. Will have to remind myself to text her and find out.