This text has just arrived on my phone, from STF.

ITENARY OF FRIDAY'S EVENTS.

4.30 - Pick me up from train station, go to Asda to pick up Charby-FallingDownJuice.
8pm - Party kicks off at their place. Get Drunk
11pm - Head into Town, get drunk, dance like cunts (his words not mine, I like to think that when I'm drunk, I'm a good dancer.)
2pm - Come home with whoever else we can find. Drink. Play games. Get laid, in a kinda hippy style, free love party with lots of bodily fluid exchanged. (I imagine this can be interpreted as, come home, fall over, start game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Pass out, dribbling on the floor.)

I went to see Madagscar today with TY'U.
(I figured he might not be allowed in to see a higher rated film! - Hehehehe Stop being mean!)
It was quite good really, done by the same lot as Shrek, but no where near as good as that.
I'm going to Derby this weekend! STF has a present for me!
Yay!

Why have none of my fellow HP Addicts among my friends read the book yet?!
I was so relieved to realise when I got there that I wasn't the oldest person in the queue like I feared, and in fact I was 6th! Hurrah!
Of course by midnight, the kids had shown up and by the time I got my book there was a good 30 people there.
It took me 3 hours to read it, so I'm glad it wasn't another 7 hour marathon like the last one!
Now I think I'm gonna go read it again!!!!!

HARRY POTTER6!!!
IN ROUGHLY 24 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its not sad at all to be queuing up at midnight tomorrow outside of ASDA is it?
Didn't think so!

"It's going pretty well so far. On my first day I was quite nervous about meeting all the lads and was wondering whether they would all like me, and stuff like that. But all the lads are great. There's a great atmosphere in the changing room and I'm enjoying every minute.”
Bent was especially grateful to Addicks skipper Matt Holland, who was formerly the 21-year-old's captain at Portman Road.
"Matty's been great,” he said. "I hung around with him on the first day and he was showing me a lot and telling me what I can and can't do. He's been brilliant, but to be fair all the lads have been brilliant and they've all helped me settle in well."
Bless!

Welling tonight!
My favouriteist preseason game ever!
Hurray!
Will you be going R?

How funny!
I just told Brother's Mate. (the one that's always chatting me up.) about meeting TY'U on Monday, only the basics like, We met after chatting on MSN and I got wasted and left out all the interesting details.
My God did he go off on one or what?
What I did was stupid, dangerous and reckless, he could have been anyone. I could be familar with a date rape test now.
Blah, blah, blah.
Honestly. No wonder I tell no one anything!
I made sure it was all ok and I'm pretty good at working people out even if it's only online.
I was tempted about telling him that I met Flash, but I think i'd have been hung, drawn and quartered, disembowled with a wooden spoon and then grassed to the folks and how the Christ do I explain how I know him anyway?

*HomerEmailWatch update* No reply yet.

Booooooooo!
I've just checked my "Charby" email and have no reply from Homer yet.

I'll keep you all updated on HomerEmailWatch. (Catchy name dontcha think?)

First things first, I'm adding Tequila to my list of drinks that I will never try again. If I knew the name of the Terry's Chocolate Orange drink I'd add that too.

Secondly.

I was watching the Simpsons on Friday or Thursday and I noted that they gave out Homer Simpson's email address. (Can you see where this is headed already?)
So I took note of it and forgot about it until I found it while looking at my phone and deleting old messages.
So I plan to email Homer right now and see if he replies.
I'm thinking of it as a scientific experiment, but after that I'm going back to curling up on the settee watching the Cricket and dying.

Oh dear oh dear.
We'd been getting on so well, I was shy as I normally am, around new people. But making an effort to be giggly and fun. We found a Scream pub for dinner and then went on a pub crawl of Greenwich, touring nearly 7 bars, and as far as I can recall 9 drinks.
Eventually I steered us into the Cricketeer's Arms.
We had a drink there and then another one and then some lads tumbled in, I took to them immediately, because they were cheeky and full of it, talking the barman into doing tequila shots with them, they reminded me of my lads.
They brought me and TY'U a tequila.
I've never had tequila before and I was doing ok, on the drinks i'd been downing, enough to make a reasonable account of myself.
Salt, shot, lime.
Uuuurgggh! Oh my God. It was foul! The sympathetic barman brought me the water that I begged for.
I went to the bar to buy the next round for me and TY'U.
One of them then provided us both with some thing that contained vodka and some kind of orange shit, it tasted like a Terry's Chocolate Orange.
I can't handle shots to save my life at the best of the time so resorted to water and lemonade after that. TY'U and Random Barman were very sweet checking i'd be ok to get home.
Then TY'U kissed me. And we kissed until I realised this was not what I wanted and begged him to put me on the bus heading home, which he did so, after a lot of kissing.
Now I'm hoping that he was as pissed as me and it's all gonna be good, God only knows I've got enough shit without that.

Hurray!
Today I'm going to meet MSNy type friend!
I'm quite excited and nervous.
He reckons I should be able to spot him easily cos he's very tall (6'3).
How funny! I'm at least a foot smaller than that, I told him I may have to wear stilts to be the same height.
Obviously he knows that I'm not a high heels type person!
I need a name for him, so let's have a competion and i'll leave it up to you guys to decide from the information I've given you in the previous post!
Don't forget that I mainly use initials to talk about people!

I love drunken blogging.
Its such a shame that spelling seems to go out the window though, but it's all good.
What's not good is attacking your brother's terrified mate and forcing him to dance round the living room to "wake me up before you gogo."

1 - I totally love the "recover post" option, admittedly it seemed a lot funnier, 4 driunks ago. and I rthink mmmbop is starting to lose the novelty value. I suspect it may be time to turn to I am the one and only. or go to bed, but that's all the way upstairs and this couch looks mighty comfy.
2 - I have a new MSNy type friend, he supports the mighty addicks too. Yay. what a shame that he is 19, the same afe as the brat, and he's a dick. the Brat. not New MSNy type Friend. its kinda off putting
3 - I'm really bored with my blogger template layout. so far I've been attempting to update with with the thingy that HYde USED,. it didn;t work, so I resorted to drink to see if that would help me undersstand it. If I have a hangover in the morning. I'm blaming Hyde.

so in summary. I'm not a computer geek. and I love the recover post option.

How wicked is the Tony Christie song?
I am incredably fond of a nice bit of cheddar. (Its the reason why, I've just listened to Mmmbop 6 times in a row) and I love the video to it, its set as a cheesy 70's cop show or something and it has Hagrid in it! (ok, Robbie Coltrane Spoilsports!)
And it's made by "Amarillo Productions." And I can't quite remember the other bit but its something to do with "forMaria"
How legend is that?

Sleep like a baby,
my little lady,
Dream till the sunrise creeps into your eyes
Dream till the sunrise
Turns on the day.
In the Avenues and Alleyways while you sleep
there's a whole world coming alive
Abel and his brother,
fighting one another in and out of every dive
The Avenues and Alleyways where the strong and the quick alone can survive
Look around the jungle see the rough and tumble
Listen to a squealer cry
Then a little later in the morning paper
Read about the way he died.
Wake up my pretty
Go to the city
Stay through the daytime
safe in the sunshine
stay till the daytime turns into night.
In the Avenues and Alleyways
Where a mans gotta work out which side he's on
any way he chooses chances are he loses
no one gets to live too long
the avenues and alleyways
Where the soul of a man is easy to buy
everybody's wheeling everybody's stealing
all the low are living high
Every city's got em
can we ever stop em
some of us are gonna try.

Honestly it's ace (I promise to stop making my posts anto Hyde-length propertions, as of the start of next week)

"Yo! You better be ok and not gone up to London today" STF
"I rather hope you've not been in The City." The Sheep
"I've just got off my plane (in Israel), heard about the bombs, so worried for you." MH
"What's going on down there? I've just seen the news?" TP
"Please tell me you're not in the City." The Lizard
"I'm so frightened by it all, God only knows what it must be like for you lot." CL
"If you don't wanna come up to Derby at the end of the month thats fine, but I'll ebay your present if you don't." Cheers STF!!

Funny thing was I wasn't frightened, a little shocked yeah, but I've grown up with the threat of bombs from the IRA as have probably most other Londoners. My uncle M narrowly missed becoming mincemeat from both the Baltic Exchange bombs, (having just left work) and the London Bridge bomb (realised he'd left a paper at his office, went to get it, returned to find the station bombed) both in 1992.
There was all the nail bombs in 1999 by that crazy nutter dude. You become a little oblivious to the "Keep an eye on all unattended packages" signs that you see on London buses, that freaked MH out while she was visiting.
I don't like the City, Its too crowded, noisy and dirty for me, so I've always felt safe this side of the river, where its quieter, greener and more peaceful although we've had our own bombings in the Docklands and in Woolwich.
(I've tried to Google the story that my Mothership has always told me about them difusing a bomb in the Barracks when I was just a few days old and living on Hillreach. I can't find any info, is this just a tall tale or is it true? I do know they bombed a pub there in the 70's.)
I wasn't frightened, I felt and feel safe in my corner of London and set my attention on firstly checking in on Uncle M and then returning to the Cricket, as I get bugged by News24 and the others repeating the same little bit of news every 10 minutes but keeping the Internet running in order to keep updated.
I've told people along in Derby that an attack was inevitable, which has been thought by many other people too but you heard rumours about how a terror alert was foiled in Heathrow and other such stories and you hoped that meant we'd escape.
CCR has put all kinds of dire warnings on me using public transport again but I plan on going to Derby at the end of the month as planned. I'm not sure if i'll be able to use Kings Cross Tube Station as I normally do but we'll work around that.
God only knows how many more bodies are yet to be accounted for.
The latest accounts are of 50 killed and 700 injured with so many more unaccounted for. I extend my sympathies again to those injured and those breaved.
Most people I talk to are of the same mind, they've been through the Blitz, IRA bombing and God only knows what. People have left flowers for the dead and injured and left messages to the terrorists.
“You think you will defeat us? Let me take you by the hand and lead you through the streets of London, I’ll show you something to make you change your mind.”
"Yesterday we fled this great city but today we are walking back into an even stronger, greater city. The people who did this should know they have failed. They have picked the wrong city to pick on.” Underlined. "London will go on.”
E has a friend who is Muslim, living in Peterborough, she text her to check she was ok, and has said about being afraid to go outside in case she is tarred with the same brush.
I sent her a text, joking that I was going to grass her up. But how many other innocent people are now out there worried? I've heard on the news about a mosque in Liverpool being targeted by some nobhead.
I've just seen this on the news too. I'm hoping its a false alarm, God only knows there's going to be a few of them now.
I trust that they'll catch the cunts and bring them to justice, I'd say kill them but I think that'll just make them hero's to the other nutters out there.

I joined an agency yesterday! They were very confident about finding me some part time typing work, so fingers crossed for that one!

A statement from the Mayor

This was a cowardly attack, which has resulted in injury and loss of life. Our thoughts are with everyone who has been injured, or lost loved ones. I want to thank the emergency services for the way they have responded.
Following the al-Qaeda attacks on September 11th in America we conducted a series of exercises in London in order to be prepared for just such an attack. One of the exercises undertaken by the government, my office and the emergency and security services was based on the possibility of multiple explosions on the transport system during the Friday rush hour. The plan that came out of that exercise is being executed today, with remarkable efficiency and courage, and I praise those staff who are involved.
I'd like to thank Londoners for the calm way in which they have responded to this cowardly attack and echo the advice of the Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Ian Blair - do everything possible to assist the police and take the advice of the police about getting home today.
I have no doubt whatsoever that this is a terrorist attack. We did hope in the first few minutes after hearing about the events on the Underground that it might simply be a maintenance tragedy. That was not the case. I have been able to stay in touch through the very excellent communications that were established for the eventuality that I might be out of the city at the time of a terrorist attack and they have worked with remarkable effectiveness. I will be in continual contact until I am back in London.
I want to say one thing specifically to the world today. This was not a terrorist attack against the mighty and the powerful. It was not aimed at Presidents or Prime Ministers. It was aimed at ordinary, working-class Londoners, black and white, Muslim and Christian, Hindu and Jew, young and old. It was an indiscriminate attempt to slaughter, irrespective of any considerations for age, for class, for religion, or whatever.
That isn't an ideology, it isn't even a perverted faith - it is just an indiscriminate attempt at mass murder and we know what the objective is. They seek to divide Londoners. They seek to turn Londoners against each other. I said yesterday to the International Olympic Committee, that the city of London is the greatest in the world, because everybody lives side by side in harmony. Londoners will not be divided by this cowardly attack. They will stand together in solidarity alongside those who have been injured and those who have been bereaved and that is why I'm proud to be the mayor of that city.
Finally, I wish to speak directly to those who came to London today to take life.
I know that you personally do not fear giving up your own life in order to take others - that is why you are so dangerous. But I know you fear that you may fail in your long-term objective to destroy our free society and I can show you why you will fail.
In the days that follow look at our airports, look at our sea ports and look at our railway stations and, even after your cowardly attack, you will see that people from the rest of Britain, people from around the world will arrive in London to become Londoners and to fulfil their dreams and achieve their potential.
They choose to come to London, as so many have come before because they come to be free, they come to live the life they choose, they come to be able to be themselves. They flee you because you tell them how they should live. They don't want that and nothing you do, however many of us you kill, will stop that flight to our city where freedom is strong and where people can live in harmony with one another. Whatever you do, however many you kill, you will fail.

Cheers to everyone who came by to check I was ok.

My uncle was finally allowed to go home and even managed to get to Sevenoaks.

I'd still like to know the whereabouts of R even if he's working somewhere local and hasn't been to "proper" London since 1981.

And I'm very glad that I don't like London and the crowds and the tube and didn't go to Hyde Park like I was planning too before I woke up and saw the rain and went back to bed.

And I hope all those in hospital come home soon.

And that they catch the cunts that did this.

Bombed!
Cunts, spoiling my day!
Being South of the River, I feel quite safe by it all, although some of the pictures I've seen on TV have been disturbing as they're quite close to where I've gone to get my train to Derby and near my job interview, and especially hearing people have been killed and injured by it all.
I'm waiting to hear from my Uncle M. Last we'd heard he was trapped in his office waiting for the police to evacuate him (although that sounds a lot more dramatic that what it actually is - blame my families keeness on adding any availble bit of drama possible to a situation) and organising a naughts and crosses (tic tac toe Americans!) tournament!
I hope everyone else out there is ok.

WE'VE GOT THE OLYMPICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

would anyone like 76 (they're all counted and numbered) GLL notebooks?
My Brat has liberated them and they're looking for a good home.

So it's Bye-bye Konch!
And Hello Gerrard?!
I wish!

Wow!
You're lucky I'm here at all!
I spent yesterday stripping wallpaper.
It was the kinda waterproof stuff so I was chucking a hell of a lot of water at it, the water then dripped down and into the plug socket which started growling at me!
I then decided that I should try and dry it to see if that helped and I swear a blue flash of lightening came out and tried to hit me!
I decided there and then, that my dream of becoming a professional wallpaper stripper could stop and I'll go back to dreaming of becoming a JCB driver!

Why do they stick cartoon shows on this late? Kids I hope are in bed, so they don't need to see them.
I figure they should stop with the crap cartoons* at this time and put decent ones on, from when we were kids, like Mysterious cities of gold, and Trap Door and Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors.
Catch the drunks coming in and you'll have them hooked for hours.

* Of course we make allowances for the awesomeness that is SpongeBob Squarepants

Bloody Hell! How exciting was that cricket?

3 comebacks in one game! I have no fingernails left!

Shame Freddie and Pieterson and in fact most of the front order seemed to cock it up and it was left to the Collingwood and Jones to start repairing the damage and the tail enders to fix things!

Can't wait for the Ashes in two weeks!

What I learnt yesterday:
Cocktails may have exciting names and come in funky colours but they are surely the Devil's own drink.
Especially those that contain rum.

Bah.
Worst test ever. It went wrong as soon as I got in the car and the examiner told me there was nothing to get nervous at!

I didnt realise my shaking was that obvious!
He kept making me stop and take deep breaths to try and calm down after I'd stalled it for the 2nd time, he couldn't believe that this was my 9th test (counting the puncture) and I couldn't believe that I was such a wreck considering that my pre-test drive had been faultless.

Oh Well, there's always another one!

Guess what day today is?!
I've purposefully kept it quiet so not to get over-stressed about it.
Knowing my luck though I'll find the only elephant living in London and he'll come and squash me and my car!
Wish me luck! I'll come tell you how I managed to fail this time in a few hours!

I'm still loving Blogger's new toy. This is a surprisingly accurate artists representation of me, except I don't normally have wings, or a hole in my side.

Hey! I like Bloggers new toy! This is Our Beloved Friary in Derby!

One year ago today, I had been taken back from Derby, and dragged out of bed to be told this.

So how has my life changed since? It's been hard knowing plans that I'd made were on hold, indefinately.
I've found out who my real friends are and made some new ones that I'm pretty sure I can rely on.
Been hard knowing and seeing that Mum's not coping, she willingly admits to me that she spends more time at work if she can cos she don't or can't deal with it.
Been hard being the family scapegoat and one to take their stress out on but I know I've done the right thing.
So considering they gave us 9 months or a year to begin with how much longer is he going to hang on for? That's the big question really.

It's raining!!!!!!
HURRAYY!!

and My carer's money will start next week!

I'll be rich! Rich! Rich!

Fixtures! Fixtures! Fixtures!
Hurrah!
The new season seems so much closer now!

Where the hell has this sudden fascination with my arse come from?
Honestly, its not that nice.
R - the restraining order is in the post.
I had a lovely day and Dad felt up to venturing further afield so we went to Whitstable as well, which is why I probably didn't see you as well.
I feel obliged to tell you that I don't do revealing bikini's especially that of the seee-through variety.
Flash - good looking guys are allowed to oogle, but not ones old enough to be your father.
However I'm now burnt.
BUUUUURRRNNNNTTT!!!
Burnt I tells ya!
*shakes fist at sun*

How I loathe the heat, I hate feeling all sweaty and tired, I hate the fact that blokes turn into raving nobheads when you venture out, all eye-ing you up or shouting comments out as you walk by.
Ok you get good points like pub gardens and the occasional decent looking guy but most scantily clad men have EEEnormous pot bellies and hairy chested (Ok, I'm shallow, I prefer blokes all smooth!)
Tomorrow, as long as the weather is still nice and Dad's feeling good enough we're going to the seaside. Possibly to Herne Bay where I ended up after walking out of the Vole place while doing the I.S, which is a nice enough place and near to my uncle and Aunt who I stayed with.
Am I going paddling? Yes.
Will we be playing in the penny arcades? Yes.
Eating Rock and Fish 'n' chips? Oh God yes!

Ha!
Once again I have proved that my family is Unlucky.
Everything happens to us.
I return home from a dreadful driving lesson, where I am ready to chuck the whole thing in and resign myself to a lifetime of public transport and am greeted by The Brat.
"Mum and Dad are back from Radiotherapy, but now they've gone to the QE."
"Why?"
"They needed A&E."
"Oh. Ok. Why?"
"Some Land-rover Nobhead wrote the car off while they were in it."
"Fair enough. Cup of tea?"
I'm waiting to see exactly what the damage is now. And looking for my bastarding Driving info or I'll never know when the next test is.

22.23. I forgot to update. My folks are fine, apart from a bit of whiplash and shock, the car that they were travelling in was updated, luckily it wasn't our car, but the one that is used to take them up to the hospital.

Bloody trains! If only I could drive!
Found out that there was no trains back down to London so had to travel to Birmingham first, I think I've spent about 5 hours travelling on over-crowded trains with no air conditioning.
Did you all have good weekends? I did! Oh God how I miss my Derby friends.
JF picked me up and we collected essential food supplies for a weekend, like cocktail sausages and onions, sushi and cookies, 50 cookies of varying flavours to be precise!

So we reached The Sheep's house, where I was going to be staying, it faces my old house! I miss it!
We started tucking into our feast when I remembered I was meant to be meeting H2 in Varsity in half hour so off we trotted, and then over to Our Beloved Friary, (I hugged the walls, I missed it - The bouncer laughed at me, I'd only had 2 drinks!) for dinner.

Then a few games of pool and over to the pub garden in Varsity, where we commandeered a table and I regalled them by telling them about stupid kids who don't know the words to "Ernie" and then sang 2 Little Boys and Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree to them, then around half 10 STF (resplendant in his pink shirt!!) and R came and met us.
"Oh my God! Charlton has boobs!"
Bloody men, just cos I was in a strappy top instead of my usual t-shirt/football shirt collection!
Few drinks in there then off to a new bar where STF fancies one of the barmaids.
Off to the club night in Walkabout after that, dancing and drinking, before leaving there at 2am, STF stole my hair bobble and I chased him down the road, before losing him after I fell arse-over-tit.
Eventually coming home at 3.30am, and decided to watch The Incredibles, but I was far too hyped up for anything peaceful like that and discovered some of that black duct tape stuff and tied The Sheep's hands and feet together and then gagged him.

Finally crawled into bed about 6am (leaving The Sheep STILL tied up, hehehehehe) and woke up again at 12, where we went for a pub lunch/breakfast type thing and going into town with STF to help him buy a present for his Mum and then chilling in a park, listening to music and sticking daisies in his hair.
Then he and The Sheep decided to aim the daisies to try and hit the small of my back.
"Charlton, you know if you made an effort, I'd let you sleep with me, you'd make a good girl, not only do you have boobs, but you got a nice arse too."
"Mate, not if you were the last bloke on Earth."
" Well you say that now..."
We (well I) then started teasing STF again about his pink shirt and how he's looking forward to seeing Will Young in concert and how I wanted to borrow the Tribie that he'd brought the last time I was up.
Back into town cos STF wanted a new camp shirt, although he declined the one I found him (hot pink with a little rainbow on the breast pocket)
But he did like the camp blue and white striped one, and then pulled a button off it, which I then used my "Womanly wiles" as The Sheep called it to get a discount on the shirt.
I managed to make a fool of myself as usual and discovered that they and A and N had made a list of my top 5 moments (its nice to be missed), the winner had been me getting tricked into kissing N and R but I managed to top that in what could be a classic comedy moment.
"But honestly Charlton, you really are clumsy"
"No I'm not!"
CRASH! I walked into one of those Sunglasses stand things. I may never live it down.
Back to STF's place and we started drinking while watching the Simpsons before heading out on the town again.
Off to some of the usual haunts and back into Walkabout, where they all teased me about the nude art posing thing and then stopped me pulling a guy named Russ and then I started to share my lollies with N and STF only N bit his all off and crunched it. STF bit his into pieces and I ended up picking bits of the lolly out of his mouth to eat and then share those bits with him (I've just read that back. Did I really do that? I'm afraid I did.)
A got pissed (No shock!!) and I decided he was staying with us, so I kinda guided him back to where we were staying, for a slim skinny guy, he wasn't half pushing me around while I was trying to walk in a straight like.
Sat on The Sheep's couch and had one of those heart-to-heart talks, you know:
"I love you."
"No I love you, Let's get another drink" Before I pushed him into the spare room and passing out myself.

Waking up late on Sunday Morning and headed straight off for my epic train trip and I'm just chilling from that now.
My God what a long blog! Taken me over an Hour to type it all out.
Hope you all had good weekends too!

Good Things.

This time tomorrow I'll be in Derby embarking on a weekend of being unsober. Seeing some very good friends and in fact I'll be eating my tea in Varsity safe in the knowledge that at some point that night and possibly again over the next two days I'll be paying a visit to Our Beloved Friary.

Dad.
The radiotherapy (touch wood) seems to be working, he is no longer in any pain, apart from a few twinges and apart from the constant calls for cranberry juice, is a happy little camper. A few weeks ago I thought that he was on the way out but he's regained a lot of strength and although he won't get better he might last another month or two yet.
So hopefully there'll be no more numb fingers, where someone needs to cut his dinner for him and no more sitting there practically in tears from the pain.
(I suggested that this improvement meant that he could walk the 12 steps to the kitchen to get his own juice but he claims he's not that well yet)

Have a good weekend all!

Guess who pops up 7th in a Yahoo search for "wayne rooney & micheal owen having sex"? So proud, so very, proud.

The Spotty one's buggered off I see.
Just have to wait how he does at the Toon.
Why haven't we signed anymore players? Grr! I want someone new!
Is there some kind of sell-on clause on his Chelsea contract? A bit more money out of him would be nice!

Do you know today Curbs has been at Charlton for 10% of its entire history? There have been 88 appointments by next years 20 premiership teams in the time he's being in charge at The Valley!
If you do nothing else today my little football-loving readers, go to this and laugh at the cheesy picture.
Or here and giggle at the facts that they have somehow managed to link to Charlton and Curbs.

*major venting of steam*

Fucking, tramping cunt!
Stop with the snidey digs! Stop it now! You think I chose for this situation? Fucking stop it! Enough with it!
You said you'd support me and you haven't. And I'm fucking sick of it and very close to blowing you off completely.
I'll write you your fucking goddam cheque and enough's enough.
I'm sick and tired of it and I'd rather be friendless than have someone like you, you don't think I get enough stick from The Brat about it?
I came to Cardiff remember? Not just for the football but to see you and you hardly spoke two words to me.
I had a good time nonetheless but I'm fucking sick of it.
I don't like the fact that you came online just to tell me to post you a cheque and then said you had to go cos some people had work in the morning and not dossing about at home.
If you'd waited 5 minutes I'd have told you that I've been helping the builder, and got some typing just so I could give the money to my folks so they can pay the Leccy bill.
But enough's enough and I'm willing to write you out my life, which is a horrible thing as I don't want to lose any of my friends.

They're stealing my Jobseekers!
I was getting excited about the possible idea of two different sets of £40 a month but now they've reduced my Jobseekers to £24 and by the looks of this letter that I've been given I'll be getting £70 a week, with Carer's, which is still pretty impressive considering I was getting £80 a fortnight before.
I'll still be rich! Hurrah!

How funny.
I just been speaking to the BB, we've not spoken for... oooh about a month now.
Dunno why, both thought the other was mad at the other.
He's a strange boy and I swear he's living in his own little world. The guy spoke about three lines to me before asking about my modelling for GT that I've not done yet, keeps getting put off for various reasons, neither of is can fix on a real date.
And then asks if he can get a copy of the pic after its done.
We'll ignore the fact that he's been seeing another girl since I left, which is a joke relationship in itself.
Then for the next hour starts flattering my ego, which is cool, cos it's been needed raising for ages but I'm not fooled by what he's after.
Here's a nice hint men.
Don't be so bloody obvious!!

Guess who's going to Derby this weekend!
Whooo!
It's R's leaving party - He's off to the Caymans. (Grrrr razzlefazzle somepeoplehavealltheluck noises)
So away I go to party!

So the Carer's Allowance has come through.
Well I've qualified but have to wait a few more weeks until I know how much I'll be getting, Dad seems quite excited by the idea and there have been lots of calls along the lines of:
"Slave! I want a drink!"
"Slave! Dinner please?"
"Slave turn the tv channel over! It's time for Neighbours"
At the moment its still amusing me, I'm sure it won't take long though for the novelty value to wear off at being called downstairs just to get him a drink of cranberry juice (The guy's addicted).

i declare this post to be an Indepentdant Nation.
Now stop violatinfg my airspace or i'll sue!

This post is vroubght to you by the help of Alcohol!
huaaray!
it seemed funny earlier anywats.

I suppose if you're out of London you've not heard about the Peregrine Falcons that have been nesting here.
The Falcons are one of the rarest birds of prey here and are listed on Schedule 1 of the Wildlife & Countryside Act 1981, which gives special protection at all times. This means its an offence to take, injure or kill a peregrine or to take, damage or destroy its nest, eggs or young. It is also an offence to intentionally disturb the birds at or close to their nest during the breeding season, with a potential 6 month prison sentence.
So now that you've had a zoology lesson, you can be fascinated to learn that they've nested in a tower block in London.
And.... You can see the birds and their chicks here, and then clicking the webcam link (needs real player or something similar)
(I'm so impressed that I managed to remember that vague bit of information from my Wildlife Conservation lectures! I guess uni wasnt wasted after all!)

Happy Birthday Charlton Athletic!

It's fun to stay at the YMCA! (Feel free to join in with appropriate actions!)

I've been helping the builder today, carrying out the essential tasks like sweeping away the sawdust.
He even let me wear his toolbelt, sadly it was too big for me and fell straight down, and he didn't have a hard hat but I've still felt like a member of The Village People.
I got to learn all sorts of exciting things, like the difference between a Phillips screwdriver and ummm... the other one.
I got to learn how to use a drill, which I've always been kept well away from in the past and I think he thinks the same from admiring the screws I put it.
I learnt that Insulation is itchy too. I itch now.
I got sent down though, when my lack of upper arm strength rendered me useless for holding up the insulation.

I'm going to the dentist!
I'm quite proud of this as it's only taken me 6 months to re-register and I've still not got round to going to the Docs yet to re-register there.
I like the dentist, admittedly it's been a few years since I was last there, but I remain confident that he'll give me the usual sticker for being good and cleaning my teeth.
The only part of the dentist I don't like is going down (hehehehehehehehehe) in the chair as it is lowered, I always feel that I might slide down the seat and land on my head.

(updated 14.55. The bastard never gave me a sticker and he made my teeth bleed! But on the plus side I had an X-ray taken due to having impressive and famous teeth [They were featured in a medical Dentist-y journal] And X-rays are always fun on the hope that they'll somehow give me radioactive powers)

I have a new friend!

I also have a new book and!
I managed to carry Cheryl's parcel around with me all day and now I've realised I gotta go out again and post it......
But I think I'll have an ice-cream first

How do you try and explain to someone who doesnt listen?
Especially when I'm too pissed off to understand it rationally myself.

I'm to be my Dad's carer.
I already do a lot of the things to qualify, I'm at home a lot, I cook, run errands and keep him company during the day.
So I qualify for Carer's Allowance.
However this means that job-hunting's gonna have to change. Unless I get the actual job that I did a degree in, is it really worth it, me applying for Minimum wage jobs when I'm more or less gonna get it for sitting indoors.
And seeing as the fish job is the only thing so far that I've applied to and got more than a letter back saying "No thanks" and the only thing I've applied for that I'm qualified for, I doubt anything will come up anytime soon.
So this makes sense, I get more money than I would just on JSA and my folks could do with the money, when he becomes ill enough Mum will give up work too and the nurses will come.

But all I see it as being trapped. I have to be at home 35 hours a day, which is a 9-4 job 5 days a week, more or less. I'll be here all day with the moodswings and The Fear.
Everyone who reads here, knows how I feel at being at home and I can't help feeling trapped, people here don't see that I do most of the housework, but when I don't do something they're quick enough to call me stupid and selfish, The Brat is always sliding digs in about how I don't have a job and HE does. How HE can drive and I cant and according to him, I'll never pass.

All the time I've been here, I've felt myself dragging down, believing what They tell me, I don't want to be here anymore (well I've never wanted to be here) but I can't leave, so I feel guilty at wanting to leave and being angry at being in this position, and then guilty again at being resentful.

It's getting me down, I'm up all hours and when I sleep I have bad dreams, when I do finally sleep and wake, its hard to find a reason to get out of bed and harder still to stay out of bed once I'm up, I only manage a few hours before being so bored and tired that sleep is a good option.
My eating habits are always poor and they're getting worse too, I can't remember the last time I ate properly.

I've tried to explain to MH about the benefits of me being at home, there's no need for her to know the rest of it.
She don't understand though and I don't have the patience or the want to explain. No doubt she'll go off telling anyone who'll listen that I'm being crap, and I am, but this is better all round for everyone and the reason I came home in the 1st place to help.

Dad was well gutted by the radiotherapy.
"I thought it'd be like the movies! You know where a big red laserbeam comes out and zaps you?
Didn't happen! Gutted. I just sat there for a bit and then they said it was done!"

Radiotherapy starts this week!
Bring it on!
Other things too, realisations more to the point, driving me insane.
Nothing seems as much fun as it was before, and what's the point if its not fun?
Yes, I'm in huge self-pity mode and that's no fun either, cos I feel angry and then guilty that I'm angry and it sucks.
I've been looking for a quote from Macbeth for ages and I've finally come across it, at first I thought I was thinking of the "Out, out Damned Spot!" Speech but I found it today.

"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player That struts and frets his hour upon the stage And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing." Macbeth. Act V. Scene V.

Cheryl!
It looks like you are our Winner!
I'm guessing that number 1000 has passed us by and wishes to remain anonymous or doesn't care about the prize (Dunno why though!? LOL!)
You can't pick your prize! Otherwise that'd spoil the whole point of a "mystery prize!"
If you want the prize, send us an email with your address on it and I'll post it. (Just remember that it is a "crap mystery prize")
......
Next prize given out at 5,000 posts!

Who was number 1000?
I have details! (I finally figured out how to work this sitemeter thing! It tells me how people have found me and stuff, pretty neat huh?)
They popped by at 8.22.18am, are on a WinXP system, using Internet Explorer 6.0 (I feel like a private dectective!) and didn't stop very long, which makes me suspect they were a random-blog hopper.

Hurray!
Some point soon. I'm gonna reach 1000 page views, up to 990 now!
we should celebrate this in some way.
So... maybe we should have a competition.
The person to reach 1000 can win a prize, if they like.
But I'll want proof, and so take a screen shot of it. (using Prt Sc SysRq - I just found the joy of this button!!) Save the picture and email it to me, so I know no one's cheating!
And if you like, you can win a mystery (crap) prize!
Hurray! Prizes!
(Oh yeah, if you've not noticed, the visitor number is at the bottom of the page, so scroll down.
Go on I dare ya, Scroll away!

5 more signings??!!!

Look Richard Murray, says so himself and anything he says has gotta be right, right?

"We are looking to sign five senior players, starting with Darren," said the Addicks chairman."

"I'll expect there will be one more signing next week, and another one the week after that and so on for the next four weeks, then Alan and I can relax a little bit"

What's the odds that one of those is a goalie? And what is it about Curbs thing about signing goalies?

Hurray! 1st signing of the season!
Bring on the 20 a season striker, the two decent central defenders and someone to replace Kev "Let's score one goal and then go out injured for six months" Lisbie.

So this radiotherapy lark?
Basically it'll involve I think a week and a half of daily doses, which as a pallative treatment, which won't cure it, but is meant to try and shrink it and reduce the pain that Dad gets when his arm feels numb from the cancer touching nerves.
So Dad's gonna get these daily doses, zapped into him, and it sadly enough won't lead to him coming over all Radioactive and Incredible Hulk-like.
Neither will there be any interesting side-effects like hair-loss, only tiredness and as The Brat said, "who's gonna know the difference then?"

If you're a statistics freak, we've been told that, there will be a 75% chance of this working and a 45% percent chance of side-effects.

So there you go, we also have thrilling booklets entitled "living at home when your cancer is advanced" (Or living at home when your cancers about to kill you off), this comes with a equally riveting sequel, "Caring at home when your cancer is advanced" (Possibly the saddest and most depressing thing I've ever forced myself to read)
And another about Financial help from the Macmillan Cancer people. (The Mothership already has plans about getting a new tumble dryer from them as our ones dying a slow and painful death)
(Look at that! A post that goes from radiotherapy, to dying to new tumble-dryers, It's all linked in a big circle!)

Ok Newbie. We've let you off so far but we need more info.
I've only got a small (I like to think of it as exclusive) readership, this is done more for fun than any attention-seeking ways, but I feel like I know most of my commenters, as they are all fellow bloggers.
As you are not, I need more info cos I am an insanely curious female.

So..... It's lets pick on Anonymous day!
I need the following info.

1 - A/s/l?
2 - Where did you find me?
3 - Charlton-supporting background?
4 - How long have you been reading before deciding to take the plunge and comment?

Umm I think that's all the info that'll keep me going for now, if you want to make up a fun nickname, rather than Anonymous feel free. Oh and feel free to gimmie more info and keep on commenting.

(I guess this bullying will terrify any other anonymous readers from commenting ever. - poo.).

Oh yeah! Guess what I found while rummaging through a cupboard! Only My Little Pony - The Movie AND if that wasn't exciting enough Thundercats The Movie too! Oh hell yeah!

A warning....
Tomorrow/today Dad goes for a course of radiotherapy...
Expect random whitterings and nonsense.

Pink on guys?
I look at pink on guys and think "GAY"
What do you lot reckon?
I present for your viewing pleasure. Pink shirts = gay.

STF says:
i've got a pink shirt
I saw the coke band! says:
thats GAY
STF says:
yes it is
I saw the coke band! says:
so why do you have a pink shirt?
I saw the coke band! says:
have u finally come out?
STF says:
coz its awesome and only a guy truely confident in his hetrosexuality could pass one off
I saw the coke band! says:
pink can never be awesome
I saw the coke band! says:
girly and gay yes not awesome
STF says:
its awesome on me. i wore it last night and i pulled, and coz i'm mingn i wore it again tonight and caroline told me it was very nice, and for a pink shirt, not gay at all
I saw the coke band! says:
o...kay
STF says:
right, i'm gonna have a wank
I saw the coke band! says:
Thanks for sharing. speak 2u later-gator

Cardiff's Millennium Stadium is far more impressive in the real life than on the telly.
Well worth the 7am alarm (I swear that's probably the earliest I've been up since I went to Kew).
Even managed to get to Cardiff at midday and joined in the festivities, the singing, the dancing, the cringing at nob-head air-horns. (Ban them all now I say), the waving of the flags, the meeting of random strangers.
Making my way to the game, I borrowed an away shirt to fit in.
" 'ere luv, gis a kiss for luck like." From some random boozed-up stranger, who then proceeded to mug some kid to take a photo on his camera-phone and then hand it back to the rather baffled little boy.
Into the ground and being overwhelmed by the amount of blue and white stripes everywhere, and to my utter delight seeing the guys from that coke "real fans" advert! Legends one and all!
So excited to finally see Wednesday win! Makes up for all the dreadful and vile Away games I went to the other season.
Finally got in at 11pm and straight to sleep.
Not a patch on our own Playoff game. (Kinsella AND Mendonca were featured in the programme under a bit about past playoffs!) But the pure emotion that's shown in them games make them something never to be forgotten, even if you're a neutral.
And West Ham got promoted today! Awesome! My Godfather's a Hammer and means the banter and abuse that I thought had gone now Pal-arse have been relegated will continue! With a new Protagonist!
Yay!

Did you see Luke?
What a legend! Like I said to STF, he's Gary Neville's natural replacement!
Off to Cardiff tomorrow, I hope that after two years of going to the odd Wednesday game that I'll finally get to see a win!

It's Bambi!" I shriek!
"Two Bambi's." E agreed.
There's actually a lot more than that in Greenwich Park.
We had a lot to celebrate. Not only was it the Hottest day of the year, but E has a new job and I am celebrating 13 weeks of unemployment.
So a Pub Crawl seemed the perfect way to celebrate the day.
We started in the Cutty Sark, moving on to The Yacht, before finding a Scream Pub and my Trusty Yellow Card came into it's own again, which is why we decided to stay there.
We decided to moderate our Alcohol intake by alternating the drinks with Ice-cream.
5 drinks later, (and two ice creams). We're feeling mildly pissed (I blame the hot weather) and Greenwich Park seemed the way forward, so armed with Ice-cream we climbed the hill and found ourselves barefoot in the Deer Enclosure.
"Dare you to climb over?"
E considered the three fences but declined politely.
"So where's the deer hiding?" I demanded and E pointed them out to me, in the corner in the shade.
"Oh Look Bambi's moving!" I called.
A few minutes later.
"6 Bambi's!" I crowed, looking at the Fallow Deer.
"Actually there's 5." E corrected.
"Bollocks. Look, two over there, two there, and one standing that makes 6."
"In what fucked up world does 2+2+1=6?"
"It does.... Oh shit wait. You're right."
We decided to reconvene at the duck pond and then walk back to The Standard and the Chippie.

Ok. Lets deal with things in priority first.

1 - Liverpool!! I was having a big text war with LF about them having fucked it up and then when they came back I claimed that I had supported them all along and he hadn't and I had faith and they weren't even my team. He's gone now. I won! I rule! Go me! Whoo-hoo! I shall now proceed to get drunk to celebrate.

2 - Flash. You have been accused of being girly by my new anonymous charlton supporting friend. How do you plead?

3 - Glad you're ok Cheryl, come back soon! I miss MSN chats!

4 - Spotty P*rk*r to Everton? Hmmm. I dunno how I feel on that. I still maintain that Parker should rot in the Chelsea reserves for the remainder of his career, or come home, after having made a grovelling apology. I'll always look out for him and his career and feel sick at having being screwed over by him but I don't give a shit anymore.

5 - I have tickets for the Wednesday playoff final! Whoo day trip to Cardiff for me!
*mental note for later* buy train tickets. no good buying them now, you may end up with ones for Whitby.

6 - No one, seems to have pulled off any practical jokes. Are you all boring farts? Come on people!

yoo-hoo!

Things are slacking off here a bit aint they?

It's hard to think of interesting things to post when you're not doing anything, (Am applying for a new job though, a data entry type thing in Guys Hospital, which is where Dad went for his lung operation and is on the telly! So look out for me if I get it! hehehehe!)

So I think i'll turn things over to you, my two, three loyal readers.

Best Practical joke ever?

I want you to tell me about the best you've ever pulled off and to get you started here's my best two.

Probably one of the worst I've ever done is taping my brothers eyelids open, after he'd passed out after a night out. It looked freaky as shit when he was sleeping through it all with open eyes and then terrified him when he "woke" and found he couldn't blink.

Another time, when I was in my uni house, I covered the front door and windows in that police tape that they bung up when there's been an incident and then locked all the doors and turned all the lights off and waited for my housemates to come home and shit themselves about something having happened to me.

All pretty tame and boring really, so amuse me and shame me by telling me about yours?

A joke to brighten up your Mondays!

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death they are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".

"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".

So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with
moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon double smoked bacon... every imaginable
kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".

"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don't forget".

"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smeell of bacon...ees
no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"

"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree............

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees.....

Ees, a Ham Bush"

Go Luke!

gggrrrrr.
Never EVER let bastard little brothers play on the net.
I've just had to reboot everything, and everythings lost.
All my pictures, my files, my CV that took me two days to create, all my internet favourites and job pages.
I could cry.
Bastard stoopid Brothers.

Yay!
We suspected that Dad may have a tumour in his shoulder from all the pain he's been getting from that but it turns out to be a blood clot, so easily treatable.
The bone tumours, have not grown at all and the lung/liver/adrenal gland ones have only grown slightly, small enough to practically ignore, well you know what I mean.
So its another three months of carrying on as we are and see again soon!
Its like good news for a change!

Urk.
Horrible, horrible vivid dreams last night, actually all my dreams are pretty vivid and I remember about 90% of them when I wake, sometimes whilst in the dreams I have the power to think, yes, this is a dream and change it to something else.
Particularly good for my normal reaccurring dream when mysterious things are chasing me, and I manage to realise its a dream and then change it so I confront the mysterious chasers.
These dreams last night still feel very real, several hours after waking.

Two dreams were very similar, I don't know if any of you out there read Stephen King, but two books of his I reccommend you read are The Stand and 'Salem's Lot. (IT is also really good)
But I was a character in both of these books, in one, its about a kinda flu that destroys 95% of the populations. I was one of those suffering from the 'flu and knowing it was the flu and knowing it was a dream and not being able to do anything about it. Horrible. I woke up sweating, which didnt help convince me I didn't have Captain Trips!!
I fell asleep almost immediately after that and was into 'Salem's Lot and Blackheath, or more specifically My old house on the estate was under attack from Vampires, Jim and Dot from Eastenders were in it, sorta reminding me of that scene in Titanic, when the boats sinking and they're lying on the bed? know what I mean?) Twice I nearly woke from this dream and manage to control it but I couldn't.

Another dream was strange. Me and E and possibly The Brat were at the seaside and a dark shape drifted by.
It turned out in my dream to be some mutant amphibious fish monster. In my dream, it was a called a Butterfly fish but looked nothing like one of these.
It was sort of flat, like a ray but with pointed sharp teeth that sucked all the blood from a person, it flew through the air using wings shaped just like a butterfly. It would hide on buildings waiting for people to leave and then leap on them covering their heads and sucking all the blood from you. I managed to wake from this dream, again almost convinced it was real.

In the last dream before I woke, I was staying at a house, somewhat like my Nanny's but only had two rooms and one floor, I was sharing a bed with 3 or 4 of my friends but I couldn't tell who it was. The only other furniture in the room was a piano near the bed.
The door opened and The LF came in, I smiled Hello, but he ignored me and I thought he was still mad at me and he stayed to play on the piano, he don't know any tunes or anything, it was just random key pressing.
Then he stopped and the piano began to play itself, and I was frightened and pretended to be asleep and then he looked over at a corner of the room and I followed his gaze and the new Bird presenter from Blue Peter was there and I knew she was dead and I was terrified.
I spoke to LF about it later as if in real life , he believes in spirits and see's things.
He told me that she only wanted to get our attention to ask for a drink of water.

And then my alarm went off and I woke.

Bizarre or what?

This post is brough to you by Utter-Ramblings.Co.uk and I-am-a-stupid-paranoid-worrywart.LTD

2 years ago today was the Arsenal/Saints FA cup game.
I'll not forget the adventures of THAT weekend, but I'll celebrate it at the weekend and maybe mourn it too.
In fact the next two weekends are something that needs to be remembered, forever, as it taught me possibly the greatest lesson anyone can learn.

But in other news today is the day when we get the results of all the various tests that's been going on up the hospital the last fortnight.
I'd like to to be good news, but I don't think so.
In fact if I'm totally honest, I reckon there's probably only another month or two left in it.
Really, really hope I'm wrong.

Hurray!
Owls made playoffs!
So on the scrounge for tickets and a trip to Cardiff now!

Now that some of my excitement about my weekend adventures has abated, I shall tell my tale of Two Bloggers, 1 yellow Card and a night out!
As I probably told Flash several times, I was very excited about our adventure and terrified at the same time. In fact I hardly slept the night before and felt too ill to eat much.

So I made my way up to Euston, when the thought struck me that I didn't really remember what Flash looked like and he probably didn't remember what I looked like.
(I had thought about trotting up in footy shirt, so I'd stick out like a beacon, but then having considered possible dress codes in pubs decided against it and my comfy trainers (Hope you feel honoured that I dressed up for you!!)
So I reached Euston at 7.05 and then had another sudden panic about someone else having read my blog, then trying to pass themselves of as Flash and abducting me!
But luckily, the one and only Flash found me, and then took me to a bar, for as I told him, I get lost in my own house and I rarely go up to London.

It was a Scream pub, reminding me fondly of Our Beloved Friary back in Derby and it was even more exciting when I realised that it was their £1 a pint night so we took total advantage.
We found ourselves a comfy settee to sit and chat on and I was still very shy and nervous, but the more we drank, the quicker it went away!!

It was so strange hearing the real names for people such as Dream Girl and Reckless and talking about my friends but using their real names instead of the initals, then seeing pictures of different characters in his blog and I kept giggling to myself at the thought that I was actually talking to a blogger!

It was great fun and a little bizarre being that in someways it was like talking to a stranger but yet a stranger you knew very well, and I got to quiz him on things that I'd always wondered about, such as how he came up with his name when he changed it, and I'd told him how I decided that he'd changed his name to "Nigellus" which was the most interesting name I could come up with using his inital!

Later we decided to check out train times back up to Crapsville, and then decided to head to Oxford street where I had supposed to be meeting E but by the time we reached it, she had left so we trundled into another pub. (The Tottenham) I think, near Tottenham Court Tube. (where I ended up after I got lost after my fishy job interview). That was kinda disappointing seeing as we'd thought up a exciting and probably implausiable story to explain just how I knew Flash without it seeming like he'd picked me up out of a chatroom and without giving away evidence of this blog

I was just a little drunk(!) by then and was getting very excited in there about him drinking Vodka and Cranberry just like he says on his blog (I had been very disappointed earlier in The Scream bar that he was drinking Carling!)

I think we only stopped in there for one drink and then headed back to Charing Cross, when we reached that place. I decided that he should come over to Blackheath as I was having far too much fun to want to go home yet, and I felt very guilty when I realised he'd missed his train!

So we got back to Blackheath and went straight in the pub next door to the train station. (Is it the Railway? I swear I go past that nearly every day and I can never for the life of me remember what it's called!)

Another drink in there and I was pretty wasted by then and very, very worried about how Flash would get home again and if he'd have to sleep on the train station floor or something, so I suggested finding the Holiday Inn on the Pennisula but he kept declining.

Ran over the road to get chips and Saveloy and then onto the 89 home, stopping off at the garage so he could get some fags and then he walked me home and I showed off my scaffolding proudly!

A lot of hugs later and we said goodnight, where upon I must have sent several drunken texts cos there was a hell of a lot of (equally drunken) replies on my phone when I woke, several from STF and The Sheep, as well as some from Flash telling me not to worry, before I passed out upstairs, waking up just in time for the Preston/Derby Playoff game.

I had a great time, once the alcohol kicked in and I got over my inital nerves, just as he comes across in his Blog, he's great fun and a good laugh and I'll definately have to take him up on his offer to visit Crapsville at some point!

David James?
Up Front?
How funny would it be if he'd accidently handballed it?

Sha-la-la-la! (dush dush)
Sha-la-la-la!
We sent the Palace down!

Hehehehe. I have football to go to Cheryl.... but maybe I'll give you details of what happened after...
Here are some hints, that may or may not be true to bring your curiosity up to boil....

"Let's go break into London Zoo and swim with the penguins...."
"Oooooh! A Scream pub! Cheap drinks!"
"Let's light those fireworks now!"
"Charlton Vs Palace then?......"
"Are you trying to get me drunk Charby?"
"Come to Blackheath! I'll show you the sights!"
"Goats.... What the fuck is that all about then?"
"I've missed my train! I'm trapped in London!"
"saveloys ROCK man!"
"This place has Lollipops!"
"Thierry Henry (Footballer!) keeps following me to the loo!"
"Lightsaber fight!"

I met a blogger!!!

And we got drunk

And he is luvverly And his name Is Flashy.

Went to see the reserves to night get turned over by Man U
First time Ive seen them and took some kids along to witness, well they were so bored I was entertaining them but singing through my vast knowledge of kiddie tv programmes and fascinating them by knowing the entire lyrics to "Ernie The Fastest Milkman in the West!"
They'd never heard it! DEPRIVED!
Spent the second half planning what to do with my Visitor!
So far Ive got as far as knowing that there's 14 pubs in the nearby area (sometime being a cabbies daughter has its advantages, even if I do get hopelessly lost everywhere I go.)
Flash I hope you've got an A-Z or something!
I'm trying to think of other cool things to do or chill out but I'm not sure! I hope you're thinking of ideas too!

How funny would it be if Tony Christie finally found his way to Amarillo only to find that Marie had moved to San Jose?

I've spoken to a real live Blogger!
Its such a relief to realise that this isnt all just part of my bizarre imagination and a fantasy made up by my computer! (At least I already knew Cheryl was out there!)
There are actual real live people out there that Blog and I'm going to meet one, How exciting!
----
I was talking to the builder today, he asked me if I wanted to help and go on the top of the roof as "you've not been up have you?"
"Eeerrr... No!" I lied not wanting to admit to my drunken dare of climbing the scaffolding.
So I've been putting windows in the loft this afternoon and admiring it all.

Hehe!
Guess who I (hopefully) might be meeting?!
Guess! Guess! Guess!
A shiny new penny for whoever guesses correctly!

Whooops!
Might have cocked up here gang!
Sent off applications for the two London Wildlife Trust jobs, only I added my CV as well, just been emailed back that CVs will not be looked at.
Is that code for "Fuckoff Idiot, if you can't be bothered to read that CVs will not be looked at you're not even gonna be considered."?

The most awesome thought...
If Derby AND Wednesday make playoffs... Imagine if I could con people into getting me tickets so I can go to both games?
Man I'm knackered, spent the day yesterday at the stables and last night got woken up at 4am by a text from N.
It was obviously a well thought out text, it even had punctuation - well a full stop.
What did it say?
"Wee head."
Just that. Wee head.
His next text explained that he was awaiting a visit from the sandman. Which amused me and I asked if it was Brian, the 42 year old Transsexual from Wales.
He replied that no it was the trainee Sandman, Debbie, 19 from Melton Mowbray and that equal opportunities and nonsexual discrimination had finally caught up with Fairyland.
*shakes head in disgust*
I know too many weird people.

So. Job Update No. - who cares?

1 - Looking good a asisstants job to work with racehorses - 22k - oh wait... they want a driving license - Bollocks to them!
2 - A stag beetle job - no details on London Wildlife website so off we toddle for details via email.
3 - Volunteer support officer for same charity, 2 days a week 19k - Apply we did.
4 - MH who is being a complete pain in the ass for other reasons is trying to help and sent email details of a barperson needed in The Welcome Inn in Eltham, I don't really want to work in a bar and DEFINATELY not in Eltham, call me paranoid but some memories dont fade that easily, but she wouldn't listen and would point out that beggars cant be choosers (500 overdrawn AGAIN! How is that possible??)
So we'll see.

Screwed!
I wanted Ipswich to go up in 2nd place and Derby through playoffs.
That meant two funky away trips and two pissups.
But now?
Do I attach my support to Derby, as I lived there? Or Ipswich in honour of ITF? Or West Ham as I have a Godfather who supports them, and they are the only London team in it?
Decisions, decisions!

(edited for Cheryl - Who still needs to explain Baseball & American Football to me!)
If you finish in 3,4,5 or 6th place in the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th divsions, you go into a play off where they have a mini-league and play each other home and away.
The two teams that win over the two leagues go into a final, whoever wins gets promoted, in this case to the top division.
Derby, Ipswich, West Ham and Preston got into the playoff places this season, so I don't know who I want to go up.

I'm gonna do IT!
Oh yes, sometime after the 20th May once GT gets his project in, then I have plenty of time to change my mind if I want.
It's gonna be a nice, tasteful (I know GT, not so sure it will be!!) shot.
With double images!
So two naked Charbys!
hehehehehehe!

Cheated...
Never, ever a penalty.
We Wuz Robbed!
Did Spotty Parker qualify for a champions medal?
I turned it over as soon as the final whistle went, but I saw him sitting in the crowd, cunt that he is.

Hurray!
My brothers chavvy mate has still not picked up on the idea that I don't want anything to do with him and wants me to go out with him this weekend.
Eeeewww.
PISS OFF LOSER!
How many more times do I need to make myself clear?

Wow!
All the exciting things happening in my life lately!
1 - The BIG and MORBID discussion of whether Dad should go into a hospice towards the end. Answer instantly - NO.
2 - Granddad maybe getting a pacemaker fitted. Wheee! More stress.
3 - I have a Big and Important meeting in 3 weeks at The StinkyAss Centre (jobcentre) to explain exactly why I haven't got a job yet and to be told off for not having one.
4 - My brothers mate, is always trying to chat me up, its a bit funny and a little freaky, I don't appreciate getting chatted up by nobhead 19 year old chavvys. He's had a bit of a hardlife so I talk to him cos I feel sorry for him. The otherday I mentioned wanting to see HitchHikers Guide to The Galaxy, although I probably would have waited till it came out on SKY or DVD.
"great! I want to see it too! Let's go!""
"Erm..." *panicked thought*
"How bout Tuesday?"
"Err... ok."
Anyway.. Ended up not going and going last night.
He told me the film was on at 8 so away we went. (I talked E into coming as backup).. There was a film on at 7.10 which we'd missed and another at 9.40.
*deeply suspicious*
Grr. Wasting money that I didn't have on bus fare and a few drinks, why tell me the film was on at one time when it wasnt?


Yup, it's all go here for a change!

Guess what?!
I didn't vote!
Yah boo sucks to the lot of you!
It's your fault you didnt get elected, you shoulda come found me, I'd have made all the difference you know!

Its election day!!!
(also last day for cheap discounts while renewing the season ticket, if you haven't already!)

So who you gonna vote for?!
Me?
I'm undecided.
When it was the local elections in Derby, I was swamped by leaflets, from every kinda party going. So I stuck them all up on the porch door, it looked pretty funky, UKIP, next to Labour, Lib Dem next to BNP. I even did a Vote (real nickname) poster on the computer (which obviously had pride of place.)
Here I have nothing, I'm suspicious of these polling card things that came through the post, how do I know the places where I lived in Derby never got them too.

I wouldn't even know who the candidates here were unless I hadn't been reading Casino Avenue,
I was kinda looking forward to door-knockers and being stopped on the street to have people ask me who I was gonna vote for.
I refuse to just randomly tick boxes (MH is voting Lib Dem but when I asked her on the reasons why, the only one she came up with was the student loan one, she knew nothing of their other policies)
I refuse to go hunting online for information, and no one else seems to know anything.

So am I going to vote?
I don't know, I'm kinda apethetic about the whole thing, in the kinda "Why bother, they're all as bad as each other" kinda thing.
Then I think of the people that fought for women to have the vote and the people that don't get the chance and I feel that I should.
But if they can't be bothered to find me, why should I make the effort for them? If they wanted my vote that badly they shoulda come out and found me.
So! Political Parties out there.
You got a few hours to give me a reason!
Tick...
Tick...
Tick...
GO!...

Oh my christ.
That Crazy Frog thing has a single!
I loathe that frog.
It's enough to make you want to go out and single-handedly rid the world of every single frog, whether its a tree frog, a nice friendly frog in the pond or a crazy one.
I'd run a competition to destroy frogkind in the most amusing way.
Mind you that little canary one (sweetie?) is really cute and I'm starting to warm to the dragon/loch ness monster thing. Although I could never have them as a ringtone and anyone that does deserves a slap with 2 pounds worth of cheese.
I'll happily sit through an advert with them, but the frog?
EXXX-TERR-MINATE!

I'm loving the fact that i'm getting all kinds of freaky referrals since mentioning "nude modelling"
(hehehe did you see what I did there? Mentioning it again?)
Been talking it over with CL who said that she'd probably do it, when I explained to her about GT and everything. (Then again, she is called CL for a reason!!)
MH would definately NOT do it and is possibly thinking all kinds of crap about me when I told her I was considering it.. She probably thinks of me as a slapper or something now.
I'm still stuck whether to do it or not.. Yeah it'd make a great story to tell people. (not that I'm sure its something I'd make public to my friends, cos lets face it all the blokes would hassle me for a copy of the picture.)
But then what if the pics got out? Much like this blog I'd die a slow and painful death if anyone found out of its existance.
Definately needs thinking about, might suggest to GT about me getting some kinda bonus to it!

Christ, what am I supposed to say?
Why do I get myself into these situations?

I've been asked to do nude modelling!
For GT's I.S.
Urm.
I have that "English heritage look" apparently (Which makes me think of old houses!!)
I trust him enough not to put them on the web or show them off or anything like that.
But still people would have to see it and I'm the kinda person who's too shy to go topless on the beach or anything like that.
I dunno.
Shit. I'd need a bottle of vodka or something beforehand.

Wow!
Look we do win things!

Hey!
Wasn't Anderson ok?
See things can't be that bad...
At least we aint Palace!
I'm gonna become a Glory Hunter!
Yes! I'm gonna cheer on Wednesday in their quest for Playoff Glory!