How do you try and explain to someone who doesnt listen?
Especially when I'm too pissed off to understand it rationally myself.

I'm to be my Dad's carer.
I already do a lot of the things to qualify, I'm at home a lot, I cook, run errands and keep him company during the day.
So I qualify for Carer's Allowance.
However this means that job-hunting's gonna have to change. Unless I get the actual job that I did a degree in, is it really worth it, me applying for Minimum wage jobs when I'm more or less gonna get it for sitting indoors.
And seeing as the fish job is the only thing so far that I've applied to and got more than a letter back saying "No thanks" and the only thing I've applied for that I'm qualified for, I doubt anything will come up anytime soon.
So this makes sense, I get more money than I would just on JSA and my folks could do with the money, when he becomes ill enough Mum will give up work too and the nurses will come.

But all I see it as being trapped. I have to be at home 35 hours a day, which is a 9-4 job 5 days a week, more or less. I'll be here all day with the moodswings and The Fear.
Everyone who reads here, knows how I feel at being at home and I can't help feeling trapped, people here don't see that I do most of the housework, but when I don't do something they're quick enough to call me stupid and selfish, The Brat is always sliding digs in about how I don't have a job and HE does. How HE can drive and I cant and according to him, I'll never pass.

All the time I've been here, I've felt myself dragging down, believing what They tell me, I don't want to be here anymore (well I've never wanted to be here) but I can't leave, so I feel guilty at wanting to leave and being angry at being in this position, and then guilty again at being resentful.

It's getting me down, I'm up all hours and when I sleep I have bad dreams, when I do finally sleep and wake, its hard to find a reason to get out of bed and harder still to stay out of bed once I'm up, I only manage a few hours before being so bored and tired that sleep is a good option.
My eating habits are always poor and they're getting worse too, I can't remember the last time I ate properly.

I've tried to explain to MH about the benefits of me being at home, there's no need for her to know the rest of it.
She don't understand though and I don't have the patience or the want to explain. No doubt she'll go off telling anyone who'll listen that I'm being crap, and I am, but this is better all round for everyone and the reason I came home in the 1st place to help.