Phew!
One of the drawbacks of working at the museum is that I have to work 3 weekends out of 4 (its ok, I've got the ones that Charlton are playing at home off already!)
not that I do much over the weekend anyway, now there's no football, but it sucks knowing you're in work the next day while everyones out and about.
Anyway. After work I found Welshy in Greenwich and we went for a meal and then another internet friend got in touch and we went to meet him at Covent Garden.
And we ended up all going to some random little club, playing some cheese! Whooyeah! At at 3am, I found myself wandering the streets of London with Welshy, still in my work uniform.
I've blogged about my adventures on the Night Bus before, which has left me with a deep horror of getting it again, never mind the fact that it takes just under two hours to get home on.
So we decided to find a hotel room, got totally ripped off at 90 quid for one near Covent Garden (It didnt even have shampoo! I had to wash my hair in the morning with a bar of soap! Just like in the Movies!)
So by about 4am, we were snuggled up for the night, me still clutching my work backpack.
7am and I bombed back home, just in time for the morning brief at work. STILL in my contacts (bear in mind I'm only really supposed to wear them for 7 hours at the most) and still in the uniform that I wore when I left for work the day before.
Yeah! Go me! Classy! Not even time for a change of socks or anything!
I feel quite fine about it all though, not hungover (unlike one certain grumpy Welshman this morning) and I've only just started to succumb to tiredness!
Quality fun night! Although far more money than I was expecting to spend on what I assumed would be a simple tea in a local pub!!

Things that I learnt in my gallery today.
If you put your foot in each flagstone squarely. It should be 38 steps to walk through the "Your Ocean" section, depending on how you walk the route it can reach 39 steps.
If I walked very slowly around the upper deck I can make it last 4 minutes and 37 seconds. If I walked averagely I can walk around it in 3 minutes and 5 seconds. If I walked at my normal speed I can do it in 2 minutes and 12 seconds.
I kept a tally of how many visitors came by different galleries in a 5 minute period. This broke down as follows:
1 - West Street - 36
2 - Passengers - 37
3 - East Street - 18

4 - Cafe - 3

My Gallery - 10

People that then went into Your Ocean 5

Tickets Entrance - 21

Tickets Exit - 23
Left Ticket booth - 3

Right Ticket Booth 8 - equalling 32 people in total

this added up to 164 people (not counting my added bit of who then went where)
So using the power of a calculator I then worked out the mean average, so 164 divided by 10 means rougly 16.4 people went to each to each part of the museum.
How can you only have .4 of a person? what is that? an arm? a leg? How can I have got so bored to have dedicated my day into doing this kinda research?

Welshy came to visit last night!
Yay!
He suggested it on Thursday and I didnt really believe he'd come all this way cos i'd hardly get to see him this weekend and even him texting me all the way down, didnt really sink in until I saw him enter the pub!
I kept acting like a real girl, laughing at him and telling him, he wasnt supposed to be here! He was supposed to be at home! In Wales!
It was a pretty good night actually, before this, I got invited earlier in the week to "Lark in the Park" a picnic organised by one of the guys from work. We'll call him Clumsy. Now i'm always covered in bruises from walking into things or accidently kicking things. But he's possibly the only person I know who's more spacky than me.
I mean, when I met him, he bounded over to meet me, like a little labrador puppy or something and immediately fell over a chair.
So about 14 of us had this nice picnic in the park after work and then some of us headed into The Yacht, which was great, although in a fit of over-generousity I insisted on buying the entire group a drink - and then The Idiot Brothers came in, who i've mentioned here in the past, as the family that treated us like we were infectious, well still do really, when Dad got sick.
Anyway, we see them out and about down the Standard or at the shops round the front occasionally, and I make the point of saying Hello and making them feel awkward, but I dont mind that so much cos I can then walk off feeling all smug and moral for forcing them to acknowledge me. But in the pubs and things I hate meeting them, I get all agitated and literally shake with rage and I know if I met them when I was really hammered, I'd probably confront them and that wouldnt be a smart move, so as soon as Welshy arrived I made him leave the group with me and we went to another pub and the night resumed smoothly.

Anyway. TODAY!! (This is turning into an epic!) I had to go clothes shopping for something that can be combined for both OF's wedding in July and CL's in November. Clothes shopping in itself is always traumatic. (its alright for you guys, you can walk into Debinghams without being accosted by a hundred orange-skinned sheep trying to force you into their chairs so they can attack you with the latest Super-Duper Mascara or tut at the dirt in your broken nails or something equally horrid)
And clothes shopping for events like this is always traumatic, cos it involved boring hours of looking at clothes and the constant "This'd be so much easier if you just gave in and wore a dress or a skirt" and my refusal to wear something flowery. Or black (well apparently black and green are BAD WEDDING COLOURS). Or White. Well white is a bad colour for someone incapable of keeping neat, clean and tidy. And I refuse to buy a pair of trousers, however nice they are, that cost £40 especially when I will only be wearing them twice at most. And I will still need to spend on a top, and new undies, and the accessory shit that HAS to go with it.
Its not that I want to be awkward... I'm just stubborn! After 2 hours Mother admitted defeat, and we went home, although I really need something to wear as jeans and trainers are out! So it'll be this whole debacle over again at some point. I'm dreading it, I really am!

Oooh exciting!
I spent the day down the hill in the Queens House which is an art gallery. I'm not really an arty-farty person, but some of them are absolutely amazing and you can spend hours looking at them and constantly spot new things.
This is one of my favourites. You cant get it as good here, obviously as in the flesh, but there's something about the widow in black and the woman in purple behind her, you almost can feel how soft their clothes are and I love the man who's sitting there silently smoking his pipe. I was making up a little story about how he was an ex-sailor, longing to be back on the open waves.
The other good thing about that post today was that I discovered the research computers. Some internet sites were blocked, but I managed to find my way to the Charlton site to get the new seasons fixtures and i discovered that I can play the crossword, wordsearch and match the pirate game on the museum's website.
so that wasted a good hour or so, while I played rather than patrolled!

So! Let me tell you a little bit about my job, three weeks in!
Although employed by the National Maritime Museum, I seem to spend most of my time here. In the Old Royal Observatory - Home to the Meridian Line (Yawn), the timeball, which is no where near as good as it could be and Harrisons Clocks (Bigger Yawn)
If telescopes and clocks turn you on, this is like being in your very own porn movie.
However if like me, you couldnt care less about them, you spend a lot of your days with a glazed look on your face or running from the on the hour chimes and ticking clocks! Some galleries are pretty good and you spend all day on your feet learning stuff (I now consider myself a minor expert on Horatio Nelson) or staring blankly at a blank wall.
The people are all really nice and I like the fact that I get to sneak home 20 minutes early when I do the relief shift, but its very dull with nothing really to keep my brain turning into mush (I dont seem to be able to find a medium - plenty to keep my brain busy at the shop and fish, but not a lot to do and vice versa here!)
My favourite position has to be on the North Courtyard, where you get an amazing view over onto the city and I can stop and look out on the wildlife, in fact I've already started naming some of the pigeons and indulge in bird spotting, admiring the cheeky little tit birds and very excitedly seeing my first woodpecker and jay!
And of course I get to eat my dinners and share my breaks with the squirrels, deer and ducks!

Welshy's leaving me!
The bastard!
Incidently I gave him the address to this place, so say Hi to him!
He's pissing back off to Wales to get some money together and shit and we're doing grown-up things - which sucks, I swear I mean, I was almost getting excited about the pension plan at work, what the flying duckfuck is that about?
Anyway, hopefully it'll only be for a short while, and I'll be going to visit him on my long weekend in June. So! Lets all hope it goes better than my last attempt at a long distance thing!

I took Welshy to the stables yesterday for a ride!
He did pretty well for a first-timer and I showed myself up completely, with a loss of concentration and crashed my pony into his!
Afterwards, we went with some of his uni friends to the Globe to see Othello, I've not read it before but I knew the vague story outline and got totally engrossed in it, it was awesome and they sold Ye Olde Ben and Jerry's!

Oh and as for the other thing? Loads and loads better and not half as painful now, I really quite enjoy it - not that I didnt before when we tried!

ouch!
As interesting as that was, not quite sure it was worth the wait!

Its time to fill you guys in on a little secret.
We all know Welshy told me, just before xmas that he fancied me.
And thanks to Red Squirrel *rolls eyes* - last time i tell you anything in private! - we know that I got very drunk one night and stayed over and drunken stuff happened.
anyway, I realised a couple of weeks ago, that he'll be leaving me soon for good as his uni degree will be done and he'll be heading back down to Wales.
Which quite upset me, the silly fuck's been there for me a hell of a lot the last two years and we've shared a lot of stuff, became very close and I think of him as one of my best friends.
And to think that he might not be there any more upset me more than I thought it would do.
So when he asked me out again a couple of weeks ago, I said yes and surprisingly he's making me a happy little camper.

Tomorrow is my last training day at the museum before they let me loose on the unsuspecting public, I have to sit a small test so fingers crossed!

Well a new day at work is always eventful, but i never expected it to be in this way!

The Cutty Sark is the last of its kind and lives in dry dock in Greenwich Town Centre, I've grown up playing around it and always take friends new to Greenwich to see it.
so it was pretty devastating - even if it is only a ship - to wake up with pictures like that on the news!
Still! Here's hoping it'll be repairable, although I worry over the state of it!

Tomorrow I start my new job!
I will be working until September at least as a "Gallery Assistant" in the Museum, which is not too far from my house.
Its not the worlds most thrilling museum but a jobs a job and it could have unexpected perks plus! STF has offered me the chance to go to New Wembley to see the Shrews in the Playoff Final! I have to work three weekends out of four so I'm hoping it'll work out that I'll be off this weekend and I can go with him and A to it!
Yeah!

I went to Liverpool Yesterday to make the most of our last Premiership away-game for the season!
hurrah! Somehow I'd always imagined it to be a lot bigger than it actually was, and I was quite gutted at the result, we'd outplayed them for most of the game, still! I suppose at 2.50 that afternoon I'd have been quite happy with a 2-2 draw!
Apart from the awful weather and the mean Scouse Steward who stole our beachball and then gave it to some wee Scouse Child it was a pretty awesome day out!




And Happy, Happy Joy, Joy, I even got a decent view of most of the game, although The scousers were pretty quiet!

The Hillsborough Memorial.


















Now its time to get out my "Championship Away days" book out and figure out just how to get to Scunthorpe for next season!

Well... After 7 years in the premiership, we're down.
Its been expected all season, but still.
Come whatever I'll be there again in August, and I'll be at liverpool next week, but oh dear oh dear

Employed Charby!
Yeeeehaa!

somehow all my links have gone. Sigh. That'll be a bitch to repair.
MY job interview went ok, I think. I got nervous and babbled on a bit, but we'll see how it goes.
Oh! and there was a classic Stupid Charbs moment on the bus going to the interview.
I was in a world on my own, before noticing that I was getting some strange looks from those getting on and the man sitting next to me, seemed to be providing my chest with a great deal of attention.
I'm only little and have little boobs, so I dont often get people staring at them, least of all when I'm in a suit and all covered up like a good girly.
At least... Thats what I thought and then I happened to glace down and realised that my shirt had popped open.
And everyone was getting a good eyeful.
Still. I made up for the cunt not having the politeness to tell me, by giving him a short sharp "accidental" kick in the ankles as I went to get off.

Operation Ewood started, for me at least at 6am when my alarm first went off... I refused to leave my nice, warm cosy bed for another 20 minutes though!
By 7.45 my Uncle I, Granddad and cousin K were installed on the coach and by 8am we were well on the way!
After two short pit stops, where the travelling coaches took over the service stations we finally arrived in Blackburn at 2.30!
77 travelling coaches! Well 77 was the highest number I saw, got a police escort to the ground!
















As we got off the coach the MOTD cameras appeared and collared my cousin for an interview, which didnt get shown and we entered the stand and prepared for a long climb to the upper tier!...




















the game itself I dont wanna talk about... Pards is still hopeful though! Mathmatically we've still gotta chance of avoiding relegation. I'm starting to look realisitically at it though and at least away games to Derby or Sheff Wednesday would be interesting!
4-1 though and ending the game with 9 men... It made the long journey back home seem twice as long, although my way was livened up by the mooning west ham fans and the lads at the back of my coach chanting "We got free season tickets, we got free season tickets"

So I returned home, depressed about the football, trying to see the optimistic side of relegation and very tired at 11.
Job interview tomorrow! whooo!

Operation Ewood can fuck right off.
So can the premiership.
Championships more fun anyway.
4- fucking -1

Still at least it looks like Leeds are going down, eh flash *giggles*

I'll tell you about the day itself and pics tomorrow, when perhaps I dont feel so depressed.

So Tuesday night STF fulfilled a long term promise in taking me to Gay Meadow, home of his beloved Shrewsbury Town.
I dont think he'll be taking me again in a hurry as they lost 1-0 to their hated rivals Wrexham. and a violent plague on the tall 6 foot person who chose to not stand behind me, or even to my side but in front of my tiny 5'2" frame and I spent most of the match gazing over his shoulder or admiring the back of his head.
You can say what you like about bringing back Terracing but its a bitch for us short-arses!
Driving up there was loads of fun too, STF enjoys his cheese and we sped to the ground with MH and A in tow, singing along to some of the best cheese, like the Bob the Builder theme and "My Dingaling" which always provides me with endless giggles.
And I earned several admiring glances (at least I'm sure thats what they were) from A when I sang along - well slightly ahead - to Ernie!
but yeah! It was great fun, loads like the old days and I was gutted as I always am to come home the next day.
And on Saturday I shall be preparing for my marathon coach trip to the must win destination of Blackburn, I'm expecting it to take at least 4 hours if not loads longer, at least it'll seem longer if we lose!
COME ON YOU ADDICKS!

The end of the season is drawing nearer.... we're still dangerously close to being relegated.
However in the spirit of blind optimism and faith, I'm joining Operation Ewood and getting the coach all the way Oop North on Saturday week.
Fuck how we could have done with all three points yesterday, it was as disappointing as if we had lost, which is why only today I have managed to bring myself to think about it.
Our run in now is pretty tough... Blackburn, Spuds (any chance of letting us win you think Red Squirrel?) and Liverpool.
Although West Ham have it slightly harder and you never know what might happen.
As its getting to the end of the season, I'm attempting to fit as many new grounds and football matches in as possible... last week I went to see Sheff Wednesday play West Brom in their bid for that last play off spot. Tuesday I'm meeting up with STF and possibly MH and A to go to Shrewsbury to watch them play Wrexham and obviously Blackburn on Saturday next!
I'm taking up Glory Hunting, if Wednesday make it to the playoffs then I can go to Wembley, if Shrewsbury make it I can follow them, plus Welling, my local non-league side are in the playoffs to make it into the football conference!
I figure at least one of them is bound to make it to the playoff finals and I can go cheer them on!
Hurrah!

I'm dead jealous of E who after coming back from NZ with me, is today jetting off for a week in LA, and all for the bargain price of 200 quid! Bitch! Its nice to have friends in "high" places. Hehehehehe.
But! There is also good news on the job front! I've been summoned for a job interview at the Maritime Museum, it's only a seasonal job till September, but by then I might be able to be rich enough to go on another holiday! Or have even found another decent Leaving-Home-Hurrah-Type of job!
So Yay and wish me luck!

Yeah, I know I said things might take a break but I just wanted to share this with you.
This came from the Charlton Programme today (a forgetable 0-0 draw against Reading, two points lost in our battle to avoid relegation. Grr)
ANYWAY!
I was leafing through the Programme before the game as usual and my Granddad points this out to me. (You have to click the imageshack linky)
"That's my Granddad that is!"
How cool is that? I can trace my Charlton Supporting pedigree all the way back to 1915, according to this picture date. Thats 6 generations!
No ones really sure what this pictures about or where they were going in it. An Away game perhaps?
Anyway, the reason this is in the paper is that some of these people, are known to be Charlton Directors (well the guy in the top hat anyway) and helped raise funds to have us put into the football league in 1921.
But enough of the history lesson, my Great, Great Granddad is the guy in the 2nd row just to the right and above the man with an accordian.
He has a pipe in his hand and wearing a very posh looking watch and chain thingy about his waist.
I must ask about him before I forget and he forgets himself.
http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/5853/file0001kt3.jpg

I've been keeping this Blog now for three years! Can you imagine that?
I've always wanted to keep a journal or diary of some sort, but all the ones I wrote on paper got found, by parents or evil little brothers who still leaf through my drawers and look in my notebooks.
So after Dad had his first Cancer op and the life insurance paid out, they brought me a laptop to help me with my uni work and it was awesome, with just a wee password. I could write my little stories, and keep a diary and then I stumbled across the now defunct CASINO AVENUE and I was hooked and I attempted to keep one of my own, and that lasted two months, perhaps, on and off. And then I decided to start brand new and keep it going.
And I did! And I cringe a little at the early entries in here, but I'm dead proud of them and I wouldnt edit them or change them at all.
It was important at first to post everyday, and it was easy to do that, there was always something going on, something interesting, something I wanted to be able to remember.
And I came home from uni and my world fell apart again, and I came back to uni and I poured everything into here, and I re-read my posts from then and I remember exactly how terrified I was of everything, how I'd cry myself to sleep, how my Lads, bless them, tried to help in their own way, not sure getting me drunk most nights was the best way to deal with it, cos it certainly affected my studies!
And I came home and I still used this to try and organise my feelings and thoughts, I might not have mentioned it, but each post I can tell exactly at which stage of his life Dad was at and what he was able to do.
And suddenly this place lost its importance, a lot of things did, I guess that's natural and it became less and less important that I blogged about what I did each day, it didnt seem important and it was boring, how can you record each day when your life is ruled by Neighbours and Diagnosis Murder?
Somehow I fell out of practise. Not only of doing this but commenting on my BlogFriends posts, and its still not important that I get back to it.
Perhaps I should quit it altogether, but I love my blog like a proud parent, I love how its recorded how I've changed over the last three years.
So what I think I'm trying to say is that I'm not going to be updating as regularly (and its been a long time since it was everyday) as I used to be, only when something extremely dramatic happens, or unless my life changes in a way to make it more interesting to write about.

I scored a free ticket today to see WICKED. Its only the second musical I've seen and I really loved this.
Its basically a prequal to The Wizard of Oz (with Harry Potter's Professor Sprout!) and deals with themes like racism and our perception of good vs bad and media spin!
And we get to see the history of all the witches, the flying monkeys (fly my Pretties! Fly!) and the Dorothys pals, the Tinman, Scarecrow, and the Lion!
I read the book before going to see this and I wish I hadn't. Normally I'm a big fan of books being better than films/musicals but I think the play and book are written by different people, and this was definately the better version!
So at the end of Charbs's little Theatre review, Ireckon you should all go and see this, if only to try and work out how she gets to be green! Is it Make up? Is it lights?
ooooh!

It was only ten o clock but already the man in front of me smelled like a brewery.
Luckily my name was called and I went to the desk to speak to the woman about signing on again.
She glanced at my details and asked why I had exactly left The Health Food Shop That Shall Never Be Named.
I took a breath and tried to explain to her, about the holiday I had been refused even though I still was owed 4 weeks worth, about the druggies and shoplifters, about the ones that had assualted me or other members of staff, of the working conditions, no heating, no air conditioning, not being allowed to take a cold or warm drink onto the shop floor, about how I was left for vast periods on my own.
She looked bored and said my information would go to a panel and they would decide whether I was entitled to any money or not.
She asked why I had chosen to do a career that was hard to find work for and why I hadn't applied for any jobs in that field since leaving uni, and I tried to explain that it hadn't been that simple, about Dad and how I'd had to care for him, how Mother had been in that car accident, totally writing the car off and needing a hysterectomy and not being allowed to go back to work for fear she might have a stroke.
And then I looked at her, and she was sitting back in her chair with her arms folded and the look on her face that said "You're telling me a lot of bullshit and I know it, cos you're just like all the rest of them, dole scum, not willing to work."
So I shut up and shrugged and filled out the rest of the forms in silence biting on my tongue the urge to tell her she'd spelt "relocate" wrong on the form that she was filling in on my behalf.

Its a bit of a shocker hard it actually is in London, to find a pub with a telly and for it to have sky sports on.
walking about for three hours before admitting defeat is not my idea of fun. It was raining as well! At least from what everyones been saying it wasnt worth watching!
So what have I been up too? Not a lot. Spending about 40 quid that I dont really have in order to develop all 130 holiday pics. Job hunting... oooh remember the crazy lady in the Health Food Shop that Shall Forever Remain Nameless that I used to work in on Sundays? The one who seemed to be convinced that I could work without a lunchbreak and that a packet of seeds from the shop would be a fulfilling snack?
She offered me a job. I turned it down. I have no wish to be at the mercies of a madwoman. Applied for a few more things including a job for the summer on an uninhabited Island off of Ireland (try getting that out after you've had a drink or 6!) where you get to pee in a chemical loo, live without electricity and only get a shower once a week when the mailboat comes to take you to the mainland. (Well I thought it sounded exciting! Like a real Castaway!)
Anyway that turned me down due to lack of experience. Bastards.
I've applied for a few different temporary office jobs and also on Wednesday I go back on the good old Jobseekers. Whooo.
And I need to find 450 quid for my season ticket before the end of April.
Yeah! Any donations? You know where to come!

Skydiving pics are here!
They're here!
HERE!!!
Look at the FEAR!









Freefall!


















A different view from Rotorua!


















Yay! I lived to tell the tale and want to do it again!

I even forgive him for being a tease!

Wheeee!!!
We won!

Perhaps our chances of staying up are not so bad after all!

have a kea as I'm excited!

Hi! I'm back!
Did ya miss me? Huh? Huh?
Big thanks to BlogSitter for his "eventual" updating of my blog.
Man I loved NZ It was well worth the wait!
LA airport is a bit of a bitch though, next time I go its Hong Kong all the way!
After a 10 hour flight, the last thing you wanna do is have to queue up at immigration, surrounded by big scary men with machine guns, have a hell of a lot of fingerprints taken and a reading of your eyes, collect your suitcases, recheck them in and then go straight onto the next plane.
No thats totally put me off visiting LA for the near future!
Anyway I'm back in the good old UK, where marmite tastes like it ought to and I recognise nearly all the trees and I know the names of all the birds and places and do you know what the funniest thing of all was?
I missed the history.
In Wanganui we were treated to a "Historic Site" All the signs proudly announced this Historic Site and we eagerly looked for it.
And it turned out to be a pile of 150 year old bricks.
I'm a history snob I know! But you just take seeing all the old places here for granted! So for all these reasons and the fact that I dont actually like the hot weather I could never emigrate to NZ.
But! I'm back! From outer space! With the same look upon my face!
And what seemed like living the dream before hand, in quitting work to travel now seems like a bad move, remember the 10 months of living on the dole? Well it looks like it might be back.
Which is a bit of a fucker.
But! I shall remain hopeful and I dont even need to look for a job that keeps me in London anymore.
And! Whats best of all for you guys is I now have lots of time to post my holiday pictures and you guys are forced to look at them!
So! I present for your viewing pleasure, my set of bungy pics from the Queenstown site.
Please note the look of manic fear on the face!

And another! Teach me to go on holiday :)



I'm gonna bore you all to tears now with the tale of my skydive!!

We got to Rotorua on Monday fully intending to do our skydive the next day, I was so scared and couldnt sleep or eat breakfast, when we woke it was cloudy but we went off to the airfield anyway, filled in "our incase of death forms" chose our height and then got told that it was far too cloudy to jump so we should go home again and try again that afternoon.

That afternoon it rained... so no jump that day. The next day, after another sleepless and breakfastless night it was another cloudy day so we phoned in advance and we're told to try in the afternoon, so we made alternate plans and then phoned in the afternoon. No jump today at all, try again tomorrow, they said. Only problem was, that was the day we were supposed to catch a coach at 8am to get back to Auckland, so we re-arranged our travel and decided to stick about, thinking we'd be so pissed off if it turned to be a sunny day, and indeed how pissed we'd be if it turned into a cloudy day as this was our last attempt at a jump after our one in Franz Josef was cancelled. so not feeling very confident we actually managed to sleep!

And to our joy and fright we woke up to find not a cloud in the sky and a quick phone call confirmed that he jump was on!!!

so at 9am our time we were picked up by Kelly the Pilot and driven back out to the airfield, I decided to risk going higher after being so scared and having to wait around so long, so instead of doing the 9,000 foot jump I was gonna attempt the 12,000 feet one!!

I met Matt who was going to be my jumpmaster and Eric who was Emma's. "Dont worry." Matt Told me confidently after I told him how scared I was "This is my first jump too." Oh dear!!!!

So we were strapped up in our jump suits and harnesses and I asked Eric what the little baggy was that we was wearing.

" Oh thats the spare Parachute." I glanced at Emma worriedly and he smiled and then reassured us that it was just a life jacket. Kelly brought our plane down to land and He waved Emma on to the plane. I followed, looking for Matt who seemed to have disappeared..

So I climbed onto the Aeroplane, meeting Phil who was gonna be taking my pictures as we fell. Matt jumped on board and away we went. Matt instantly starting winding me up, making me look at how high we were out the window and the little dial on his wrist showing how many thousand feet we were up. I couldnt look out the window and was gazing up at the roof and he suddenly just pounced on me and i nearly jumped so high that I fell out the top of the aircraft!

" I wanna swap with you!" I told Emma, but it was too late, suddenly we were at 10,000 feet and I had to sit on Matts lap while he attached himself to me. He quickly went over the falling out procedure and then it was time to go! I started to protest, but he hustled me out the door and I was hanging there, still trying to convince him that I didnt want to jump when suddenly away we fell!!!

It was so scry for about 3 seconds, I cant even remember what happened, and then suddenly Phil was in front on me taking our picture and even though we was falling, it stopped being so scary! We fell to about 3,000 feet and then Phil dived away and Matt opened the chute and I was so relieved! And then the bugger decided to wind me up again.

"Lets go over here!" he said cheerily steerting our chute away from the landing site and towards the lake. And then he put the chute into a spin and we were hurtling to the ground and I screamed again and he told me the chute had failed!!! And then he righted it and started laughing at me, and I told him as soon as we got to the ground I was gonna hit him and he promised to behave!

The whole parachute bit was so awesome, you lose all perspective about how high you are and just have the most amazing views while they spin and go round corners nad whatever. And then we landed and I just wanted to go up again, higher this time!!!

But we had to hurry back to get our Coach and thats the essay!!

of our parachute jump!!!

pictures are being posted back to england as we speak!!

Another block of text from charbs!


Hi! (dunno if you got this email or not.. complying with instructions!!)currently in the glacier area, where tomorrow I plan on spending a day up a Glacier exploring all the ice caves and crevaces and stuff, have just spent two days in Queenstown, which is an absolutely awesome place, been white watr rafting, which is great and been luging on these things that were like a cross between a go-kart and a sledge!! I do have White water rafting pics to upload for you all, and I signed myself up to do the original bungy which is 43m high (smallest jump I've done so far!!) on the 1st when we get back down there. But it looks cool cos you get to be dunked head first in water!Also took a day trip to Milford Sound, which is possibly one of the most beautfiul places (and drives ever!) we got to go through rainforest and admire all these snowy mountains and see more LOTR scene locations and play with a Kea, which is about the worlds naughtiest parrot, they're about the size of a macaw but very fat and chunky, and very, very, very cheeky and playful (they're the ones you see on wildlife programmes, stripping cars of all their rubber and windscreen wipers)We took a cruise out of the bay and saw some dusky Dolhpins in the distance, very playful!I am also busy planning possibly the ultimate leap ever!!! but Its looking unlikey at the moment due to weather so I wont say any more.... After the two days we're spending here, and the day back in Queenstown, we're flying back to my friends in Wanganui, and then exploring the rest of the North Island.Cant believe our trips nearly over! I've loved every moment of it, seems like we've been here forever at times and then that we've hardly been here.

Blogsitter says:

Sorry for the delay. Blogger decided that all old accounts needed upgrading to the new one, but as this blog is owned by Charbs and she's not here it became rather complicated. Anyway, here's what she's sent me since.

Charbs says:

Hiya!!!!

Cant remember if I emailed you all from Waitomo so I'll giveyou a quick update on all our adventures since leaving Auckland!

waitomo is a tiny little one street town, famous for nothing but its caves and glowworms, we got to sit in rubber rngs and leap off of waterfalls and into freezing cold water to float along looking at all the glow worm lights, they are amazingly pretty.

On the next day we were there, we went under ground again, this time abseiling our waydown, I really loved this and had a great time, and it was proper caving as well after that, we were crawling on our hands and knees under tiny rock holes and scrambling up huge gushing waterfalls and getting shouted at (heheh) for still not knowing left from right!

The group we did this with were all french people, but mad as anything and great fun, they led us in a conga line, waist deep in freezing cold water while our Kiwi caving guides, just looked on bemused!

After that they decided we needed to go celebrate our underground adventures and took me, Emma and Dan our guide to the pub, where we drank lots and ended up going back to their place at 11.30 so they could cook us roast beef!

After Waitomo, we caught the coach to Wanganui, (Wendy Waldegrave if you remember her bob! ) which is where an old friend of mine now lives, I've not seen her for 7 years but she's still the same as ever, and even still has our pictures up on the wall. The last time we saw her daughter she was 6 and now is 14 and really tall.

Shes still mad about horses, that we introduced her too!! and she took us all out to see her comepete in a 1 day event, and we ended up being brought into judge a fence, on the cross country course to make sure no one refused it or fell off and Becky came 4th in that event so a good day all round!

We then headed into Wendys school where she teaches to listen to a Maori initiation ceromony for all the year 7s and new starters, which was really interesting!

On sunday she took us to a place called Taihapi, where we did a 100km flying fox with Becks, which is like a zip wire over all the trees and cliff tops, while strapped into a hammock, we floew along like asuperman!

We also did a 80ft (or metre - whatever's tallest) bungee jump, I got scared at the top again and made the people turn me about so I can jump off backwards, dunno why I find that less scary!Bungying is the craziest thign ever, unlike the sky tower jump we only had the one rope about our ankles and we free-fell for what seemed ages before being bounced back up again.

The worst part is hanging about(!) waiting to be rescued, cos the adrenaline takes over and your legs start to shake and you feell like you might slip out of the ankle harness!!

Sunday We got to Wellington, which I have to say I dont like as much as Auckland, I'm not even sure why but its not as fun, anyway we were only there for 2 nights so we throughly explored the city, discovered the local spirit of choice midori (melon liquor) which is dead nice with cranberry! and went on a movie tour, where we got to sit in Lord of the ring and King Kong sets, which was very neat!

today so far we've taken the ferry across to the South Island where we're currently in a place caleld Nelson and tomorrow move on to a place called Kaikoura, and then to Dundedin, both of these places are supposed to be the best places in New Zealand to spot wildlife, so we're going whale watching, albatross spotting and sea kayaking to see fur seals and find a rare penguin colony, so really looking forward to that!

Kaikoura was an absolutely amazing place, we got to go and view sperm whales diving and chilling out on the surface and went sea kayaking with a guy, who looked a little like a seal himself and did very good seal impressions!! It was great and we got to get a lot closer than yu would from the shore or from a boat and even got to see a tiny blue or fairy penguin cruising in the water.We also went Albatross spotting in really rough seas, you dont actually appreciate how big thoser birds are until you see them in comparision with another gull!

We even made friends with a tiny piglet next door (Piggles!)

Next stop after that was Christchurch, its a very old fashioned english town and we staye here for one night taking it sedately after our last few weeks of non stop activities, and rode the tram and cable cars.We're now spending our final night in Dunedin (based loosely on Edinburgh, but with steeper hills and nicer weather!!) Again we've been taking it sedately, been on a wildlife cruise today, and saw super rare yellow eyed penguins and toured a brewery and cadbury world, both places with free samples!!!

Tomorrow we move on again to Queenstown, where we're spending the day white water rafting so cant wait for that one!!


Blogsitter says:

I'd imagine it was more a 100m flying fox thing. 100km would've taken them about 5 hours :)

And she's right, Kaikoura is amazing and so is Queenstown for that matter!

Another email from the charbs!

She even uses a capital letter once or twice :-P

wanganui update....

boo, Wendys laptop is on dial up so its dead slow and stuff and wont let me up load pictures of my abseil for you all.But I shall fill you quickly in on my adventures since the last email, we'd gone and done an amazing abseil and caving, scrambling up waterfalls and ducking under low caves and then we ended up getting invited to the pub to celebrate surviving!So me and E and our guide Dan appeared in the pub and we started drinking and it turned into a great night.The French were really random and odd, and after I brought all 9 of them a drink, they decided we had to go back to their place in order to have a real tea (so far we've been living on cheap pub meals and carrotcake) so at half 11, we were taken back and then cooked a really nice piece of beef, and some pasta and then they all proceeded to try and teach me how to drink wine (i loathe it) cos they were insulted that I think it tastes like vinegar and they were very amused that I was downing it in a shot, as it was the only way I could drink it.It was a real random night and completely awesome.

After a 5 hour coaxh ride tthrough mountainsides we came to my friends house, now I/ve not seen Wendy for 7 years and the last time I saw her daughter she was about 6, nows shes a tall blonde and drop dead gorgeous, and a really cool person.She had only been here a little while before she was on her hands and knees rooting around in mud to fix the pool and showing up pictures of her first wild pig, that shed shot, skinned and gutted.
She's really wonderwoman!!
Today, we went to admire her in a ODE (one day event), I feel kinda proud about this as we took her for her first rides as a kid and now she's really good.And of course we all love being around horses, so we were having a whale of a time, watching her compete.We even ended up being line judges, over a square oxer, which basically means we just sit there and watch making sure that no one refuses, which is a minus point or falls off.
It was great!
This weekend we're doing another bungee jump and a jet boat ride across the river.


Blogsitter says:

If the definition of Wonder Woman is now someone who can skin and gut a pig, and not a very fit brunette is tight hotpants, then I'm beginning to suspect that the tramp I drive past every Monday morning is in fact Superman after the work stopped coming in....

I'm questioning the reason as to why I'm blogsitting when it appears Charbs is happy enough to update one of her forums herself a day in advance *rolls eyes*

You lazy tyke - do it yourself! :-P

Emails galore (well, two anyway)!

Email 1:

Hello!
This is the first of my roving reports from New Zealand!We're currently in Auckland, after a horrible long plane flight and being terrified by the over the top security in LA!Auckland is realy, cool, and a little odd, it looks posh and then we keep finding all the old shabby areas and sex shops!!!The traffic lights are a bit scary too! Cars seem to ignore them!As we came down to land at the airport, we got our first glimpse of the Sky Tower, its asoluteluy huge! You can see it for miles around and we were terrfied, as oyu can problably tell from the photos!

http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/5620/karranoj8.jpg
http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/2391/karrn1nh3.jpg

I'd never been so scared in my life and the poor woman that I was clinging too, kept telling me to trust her and fall!!In the end i had to tell, her I cant jump looking downwards so she swaped me about so I could fall looking up instead of at the little bullseye target we were meant to land on!We've also been over to a little place called Devonport and ad a picnic by the beach!I've forgotten to pack my usb port so until i find one or buy one, you'll ave to do without photoe\s!!Everyone is dead friendly, we'd onl been here 10 minutes and had been invited to stay with some couple in New plymouth!Its boiling hot here, not burnt yet though!

Next stop Waitomo!


Email 2:

HEy!!!I'm currently in the back of beyond AKA waitomo, its really a one street town, made famous by nothing but the caves and glow worms.We're supposed to be staying her for 4 days but the locals, all look like they belong in the 17th century gold prospecting and look at us funny so we're running away to my friend Wendy a day early.However we're having a great time here, we've been jumping about in underground caves leaping down waterfalls and getting soaking cold and freezing.tomrrow we're going abseiling down a 30 foot rock formation thing, so hopefuly will have some photos from that to show y uall!(as you can see, I've still not mastered this crappy kiwi keyboard!!!)We've been horse riding today, along the mountains which was really cool (On a horse called Nugget Mum!!!) and even got involved in an inpromtu sheep rescue!Right time to go and sample the delights of Waitomos one bar and hope we dont get looked at funny when we wanna play pool!


Blogsitter says:

Charbs needs typing lessons.

And spelling lessons.

Also, no doubt you've all figured out her secret by now so I may just keep my nads when she gets back :)

Well it's been about 3 days since she took off, so I imagine she's landed in NZ by now.

Don't hold out much hope on regular updates though, the concept of charbs using an internet cafe is slightly disturbing. This, after all, is someone who kicks her network cable out at least once a night :)

Anyway, I've been told I'm a dead person if I reveal her little secret, but seeing as I figured it out from her posts on here I'm guessing it's not that hard. Read her posts in December and then imagine what's the worst thing she could've done by xmas?

Yup, she did. :)

Beta? Beta? What the fucks a beta?

You better take good care of my blog, or you'll be for it when I come back home!

Welshy took me out for a "surprise" last night, to celebrate my leaving and he took me here!
A bar made of ice!!!
How cool is cool? The walls, the bar, the seats, the glasses our vodka cocktails came in were all made of ice and as you can see, we got to sport funky and snuggily warm silver ponchos!
Tomorrow I fly off at some godforsaken time in the morning!
Be good all (especially YOU Blogsitter!)

Blogsitter here! I've had to create a new account seeing as Charbs isn't using beta yet *rolls eyes*

Now, what happened before christmas was.....

*spots charbs*

*runs*

Not long to go now!
I picked up my foreign money! Its got see-through bits on it and birdies!
I had my last ever shift in the Health Food Shop that Must Not Be named!
It was quite sad really, that shop gave me back my sanity and as sad as it was, I liked going in there everyday to remonstrate with awkward fuckwit customers, laugh with the regulars and torment the Morning Girl and of course the money was handy as well!
So! Unemployment (again!) here we come!

So its time for the results of Blog Idol!

And its been a close, close thing!
But here we go!


* dramatic drumroll*

in 3rd place is Cody.


*dramatic pause*




We have a problem... in first place is a tie.

Between Flash and Red Squirrel.

So I'm gonna have to make an exectutive decision. And I'm gonna have to base it on recent blogging, and Red Squirrel has blogged far more that Flashy in recent weeks.
...
...
...

So, the winner of Blog Idol '07 and my new blog-sitter is Red Squirrel!
* cue tickertape falling, and "Simply the Best" playing.

And keep my secret safe bitch!

I was in Derby at the weekend!
It was fantastic, the first time since I left (2 years ago now!!!) that all three of us had been together!
We've all seen each other, well Summer 05 was the last time I saw CL, (i should link to these events, but we all know im lazy!) and Just about this time last year was the last time MH saw her.
So it was great for us all to be under the one roof and we took ourselves on a reunion tour of our best parts of Derby, no trip to Our Beloved Friary though!
We saw our house and crept up to it in the dark and took pictures outside it and then vowed to go back in the day time and ask who ever lived there if we could go in - and then it turned out when we got there in the day time that it was empty! Our poor house! Alone and unloved!
And we went to Asda at midnight like we used to do and raced our trollies about and pressed the little moo-ing cow!
And we met Bump again (eyes getting better!) and laughed and it was like old times, forgetting the bitching, the coldness of our house, how stressed we all were and having a giggle!
And we met the lads, and discussed CL's upcoming marriage to UDOBF and her possible plans to move back to Derby and my travelling and how I'd move back to Derby, if the right job came up.
Great times, and I can't believe its been so long and yet hardly any time at all!

I made a new friend today!
He was really tame, if a little cheeky and sat on me for ages, hunting out the brazil nuts me and Welshy had taken to Greenwich Park to feed the squirrels (who all seemed in hiding)
I even turned it upside down to see what it'd do and he just sat there all trusting like.
Dead cute, I wanted to take it home, but decided against it.
One more chance for voting.... Red Squirrel is in the lead!

"Hi Charby

Just confirming your booking on 31 January at 3.30pm for two people.

Your credit card will not be charged at this point, we use the details to secure the booking. We will charge you when you arrive for your jump.

Looking forward to "chucking" you off the tower!!"

Oh God, I'm suddenly not sure I wanna spend my first day in NZ falling from a 630ft tall tower!

(dont forget to vote on the post below!)

So we had three entries in Blog Idol and here they are.
Judge them on the comments left, not on your personal favourite.

Red Squirrel left us with this tempting teaser...
Vote for me and once she's gone I can tell you all about the bad thing she did before christmas! :)

Although if he does, I will castrate him so the choice is his...

Cody gave us this intreging idea...

Pick me, because you have no idea who I am, or what I would do. 20 words or less.

I debated long and hard about whether to add Flashy cos he went well over the rules of the game but his excellent essay goes as follows.

Alright everybody, don't panic! I have returned to take on the challenge of being the charby-blog-sitter. Even though I didn't get an end of year mention.Logically, I would be a fine choice. I have previously handed over the keys of my blog to young Charbs, I can keep up to date with the whole football side of things & on the day you go I will turn 37 & obviously become mature & responsible enough to take on such a serious charge.C'est voila!

So those are the options, now you have till WEDNESDAY to pick a winner and you're not allowed to vote for yourself, you three! You'd have to vote for another participant!

Ok... Go!

Last night was my last ever day at the aquarium! Well depending on what happens when I get home from NZ.
If I end up unemployed or part time working again, then I'll carry on volunteering, if i come back and fall into a full time place then I'll never be there again!
It was really sad, I got a bit choked up at times, and then they all presented me with a card and present! A book about Sharks of the world! I love sharks so I was really over the moon with it, especially cos I thought they'd not bother doing anything for me!
And today was the last football match I'll attend until the 17th of March! And the bastards couldnt even win for me! Doomed I tells ya! doomed!
Tomorrow as well as being the last day at the Blackheath Shop also sees the start of voting for My Blog Sitter, you will have to choose between Red Squirrel, Cody Bones and Flash!
So choose wisely!

Well... guess it was kinda inevitable

Fucking hell!
Sometimes I think I have walked under a ladder or something!
Lets see, already this week we've had Dad's anniversary, his birthday yesterday and also, yesterday I discovered THIS, about a guy I knew up in Derby called Chris.
And today my Granddad decided to intervene in a fight where a gang of schoolkids were beating up another little kid and got a kicking for his troubles!
Honestly! I'd like a nice calm boring week for once!

I meant to post this yesterday.
I never really understood the "I think about someone everyday" or the "I miss them so much it hurts" before, but it is true and I miss and think about him desperately.
I felt sick all day thinking about and counting down till the official time of death (3.23) but luckily B&B from Stockport came down so I didnt have to clockwatch.

And I was going to tell you all about the day itself.

I was going to work that day, in the morning, do 5 hours, and pick E up and take her to the hospice, so she could say her goodbyes.
Apparently the Hospice had rang at some point during the night, to tell Mum that he'd had a rough night, and just as we were about to step out the house at 8am they rang again.
"We should get down there." They said. "This could be the beginning of the end."
She ran upstairs to wake The Brat and we drove to the Hospice, parking carelessly.
His breathing was harsh and rough again, gurgling.
Mum rang I's partner G to come down, sit with us.
He woke and he couldnt talk, there was mucus or something blocking his throat.
We put films on, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Shrek, and The Brat slept, and we waited.
They gave him an injection to try and help him, and I asked him if it made it easier and he shook his head.
I remember... I remember him saying all the time, towards the end that he was scared. The day before... "I'm scared, but this isn't going to beat me, I'm still fighting it."
And thats what sticks the most that day. I tried to talk to him, normally, but I didnt know what to say, you couldnt tell if he was sane or whether he'd gone into one of his hallucinations.
I hope to god he was insane.
The thought of him being scared, and sane and not having any way to express that is one that haunts me.
And... all through this, ever since he was diagnosed as terminally ill, I knew in my heart, I didnt want to be there for the end. I'd do anything else, everything else I could, but I COULD not watch my Dad's last moments on Earth. Could not be there for the last breath he drew.
but I also knew, that if they needed me there, I would be there.
So we waited, and sometimes he slept, peacefully and sometimes he was awake.
And I was texting E to say not to come up to the Hospice, that this was the last thing Dad had wanted, for people to see him like this, I tried to shield her from it, I hardly let her in the house when he was going crazy.
And The Brat drove me home to get changed out of my work uniform, and he decided to go into work.
I dont know why. I suppose, we'd been told it could last for hours this bit.
So he drove me back to the Hospice and I got out the car and he left again.
And G caught me and took me into the day room bit. The Cunting Builder was supposed to be bring the Pastor guy up, that we'd met before, the one we wanted to take the service.
And they were in the room with Mum and Dad and I couldnt stand the thought of listening to anything "Churchy"
So we waited in the day room.
And then the Cunting Builder and the Pastor came, and I'll tell you now, what happened, the way it was, the way My Mum described it to me.
"We were talking and I noticed that he was asleep and the sleep aponea was kicking in again.
So I asked them to go get Eddie (his special nurse) and I knew he was going, and everytime he was stopping I spoke to him. "Come on Graham, keep breathing" and the gaps between got bigger and bigger and I said "Its ok Graham, go to sleep now." And he died then.
Eddie came and confirmed it and I asked them to go get you"
And I walked down the corridor, feeling sick, not wanting to see him die, not knowing yet, but feeling this was what all those months and the year had all been about. This, my proper challenge, to look after them all and not wanting to go into that room.
And I came into the room and I sat in her lap and I stroked his hair, and there was a sigh. I think it was the gas leaving his body, or something.
And I asked her, how we knew when.. when it happened?"
And she looked at me and then at G and told me that it had just happened and asked her to get The Brat, but not tell him.
And I was glad, so glad that I almost felt sick with it, glad that I had been spared the final part. And bad that I was so glad.
And the Cunting Builder came in with the Pastor, who asked if we wanted to hear something from the Bible, I dont know what he said, something about being glad that he had lived.
And I looked at the clock and out the window, there was a magpie, I remember thinking "one for sorrow"
We sat there with him for the twenty minutes that it took for The Brat to come back.
And he flung himself into a chair, and said what I had just said. "When will it be?"
Mum told him, and He leapt up, sobbing, threw his arms around Dad and ran from the room.
Eddie returned and asked if we were ok and ready to fill in the forms.
He led us into a room and told us all the stuff we needed to know, gave us advice about services, about how to register a body.
That he'd wash him and move him into the Chapel of Rest and we could go see him there any time if we wanted.
We never did.
I think his Mum did though.
And my Mum wept a little and I sat there dry-eyed and unable to grasp it, sometimes I think I'm still unable to grasp that I'll never see my Dad again.
I miss him so much. I wish he was here whole and well and laughing with me about our poor football season, and helping me with the birds or playfighting with me.

Its funny the things you remember.
I remember everything about the day before and the day he got put into the hospice and I remember the day he died and I remember the funeral, but everything inbetween those days is kinda blurred.
I tried to write them down once. I didn't, couldnt bear the thought of forgetting everything that happened. But I couldnt.
Not because it made me sad, because it did, but I couldnt quite place the right days and right incidents together.
But I remember the day he went into the hospice. Today. One year ago.
I remember the night before I had to sleep in their room, cos he was frightened and Mum was frightened, needed me there to help her. To reassure him, from the Terminal Terrors.
I remember going to work today, then, absolutely exhausted with no sleep and going to bed very early.
And then I remember the phonecall. Our house, now having 3 floors has those groovy phone things where you can call to the next floor.
"come up here a minute" Mum said. "Listen to Dad"
And I listened to him sleep, sleeping like a dog does, with his eyes partially open.
And I heard the noise, the gargling and rattling in his chest. The Lung had finally collapsed with the pressure of the Tumour inside it.
I looked at him, and looked at her and shook my head.
"It dont sound good."
She agreed with me. " I asked J and T (her best mates) to come round. Her kids had a lot of chest infections, maybe she'll know what it is"
So we waited and we rang the local doctors and I helped Mum prop him up a bit.
J and T came round. And I marvelled and was insanely jealous that the Brat can sleep through all this, cos thats all I wanted. I wanted to be asleep and not listen to my Dad dying.
The Doctor came and I sat in the room with Mum while he examined Dad and J and T had fags and tea downstairs.
He listened to Dad for a bit and tried to talk to him, Dad was barely coherant.
He came out with it bluntly. I dont suppose there is no other way.
"He's dying. It may be six days from now, it may be 6 hours, but you need to prepare for the worst."
We got Dad up, He breathed easier then, and we took him downstairs to sit up T had to carry/Bump him down and Dad complained. His skin was so stretched, so thin that almost all contact hurt him.
And it was nearly 4am and I was falling asleep on the sofa and I didnt wanna go to sleep, was frightened of waking up again and being told he had died but Mum forced me, she virtually dragged me up the stairs, promising to get me up when Dad's special Nurse, the one trained to deal in terminal cases came again at 7, but I didnt wake up.
I woke and it was 9 and he had came and gone and arranged a room in the hospice, The Brat had woken, and cried downstairs and there was people in my house. My Dad's so-called Best Mate. The man he'd known since he was 7 years old, the one who promised Dad over and over to look after us, who stood on the funeral podium and promised again. The one who has never spoken to us since. He was there and my Aunty G.
And Dad was sometimes sane, sometimes not.
Mum had made a sign, cos he didnt know where he was. Telling him he was in the living room with her.
"Where am I (insert her real name) I'm so.." And he'd struggle to find the right word and eventually found it again, we'd played a few nights ago, the kiddies board game Frustration and that was the word he used.
"I''m so Frustration."
So she made the sign and he glanced at it every now and then and remembered where he was and it made him happy.
I sat downstairs, not knowing what to do, what to say, glad I wasnt in work.
I remember him looking at me and trying to place me and I smiled and he remembered me and relaxed.
And then his mate went outside for a fag, he was on the verge of tears, struggling to hold it together.
And Dad had developed this strange way of talking, it didnt sound like him, I dont know if the cancer got into his vocal cords or what. Almost Childish.
"Big G, Big G!" See Dads mate was named after his Dad, and his son is named after him too. Big G, Middle G and Little G. Always.
And he got confused about which one and called the wrong one and Dads mate came running, wiping away the tears.
And then the Amublance came and Dad told them off, telling him that they were due at 7, confused between this and the nurse.
They told him that they had to stop for breakfast first and he told me to make them Toast.
So he rode to the hospice in style and we followed.
And we got him settled and he played in one of those LazyBoy chair things. And we called his Brother to come round and his Mum, again more people that we've not heard from since the funeral, although in their case its not entirely surprising.
And his Brother came, and Dad was in and out of sanity and looked and recognised him and He left, ran out the room crying and I dont remember where my Mum and Brat were. Maybe the Brat was in the room with me and Mum talking to the doctors.
Eddie. Eddie was my Dads own special nurse in there, a lovely kind man.
So I looked at My Nan and asked if she was ok and she nodded and I left her with Dad and The Brat and went to take care of My Uncle, who was crying and chain-smoking and all sorts and I felt like crying but I had to take care of him.
And My Bro went to work cos he couldnt face being there and I stayed the whole day and we ate KFC and people came round. My Aunty G was staying the night, to give Mum a real nights sleep and we lived at the hospice, and everyone who needed to see Dad came and got to see them and I'm glad of that.
And I remember the day they called us in as well, but perhaps thats a story for tomorrow, or Saturday.
I dont know, I know i miss him intensely though.

So its time for my end of year post!

Obviously the main event of my year was Dad dying. Perhaps I'll post more about that next week on the anniversary itself. but needless to say its something that has had a bearing on everything I do every day.
The best events have been my holidays, Iceland is an amazingly beautiful country and its somewhere I've wanted to go for many a year, maybe I'll wait though until they stop whaling again before I go.
Ireland too was beautiful, but totally different to Iceland.
Planning my great adventure to New Zealand too, is a huge highlight.
Incidently I need someone to be in charge of my blog while I'm away... so I'll be holding a competition to find my perfect blog-sitter! The Winner will not only get to post here at will, but will be given special emails with pictures and stuff about my adventures to keep every one else updated!
It'll be like Blog Idol!
You guys have a week to post in this comment section here! With a 20 word comment on why YOU should be the lucky winner of all my embarrassing holiday photos and get the choice of which ones to post and what to put in the blog from my emails and obviously you get to get to keep this place clean, dust occasionally that kinda thing...
Then, the comments will be posted on here and you get to vote for who you think the winner should be!
Sounds complicate? Hopefully not!

Anyway! Other Highlights this year have included the meeting of two other BlogFriends, the Awesomely cool Spinny and the always funny Red Squirrel!
i'd like to put that the football has had a highlight too, but after losing Curbs and the fiasco with Dowie and Reed and our dreadful position at the bottom of the league its hard to see a positive there, but hopefully Pards can sort it out!
So thats my post of the year and all thats left to do is to Wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR and beg you all to think of me, who's working hard on NYE and on New Years Day itself!

29 days till I go away!
Shit! Maybe I better sort out accomdation and insurance and boring stuff soon!

Fucking hell Poll!
You robbed us of all 3 points.
Bastarding Cuntbag.

Happy Chrimbo all!

I did a bad thing..

Isn't it a shitter knowing somethings bad for you and yet doing it anyway and then the endless guilt feelings about it?

Oh dear.
Why do people come to me in the shop, asking for advice and then refuse to take it?

Monday I had a woman come to me asking about stuff to keep her bones strong.
so I showed her the calcium supplments and advised her to take one of the ones that contain added stuff like the Vit D and Magnesium.
"And thats the one?" She asked.
I nodded.
"Really?"
"Really, really." I assured her.
It took several minutes before I had convinced her I knew best.
She paid for her items, looked at them in the bag suspiciously and then I lost her in the queue of people I was serving.
Bad mistake.
She returned full of indignation and waving an iron supplment and some gingseng
"Look! Iron! Iron will make my bones strong! Why didnt you reccomend this to me?"
She made me refund her calcium and get the other two supplments instead.

I also had a man come to me wanting help with his sperm, So I said how bout Zinc cos of that being in your sperm and he said that he'd had something else before.
I elimated our line of herbal aphrodisiacs and drew a blank, and then he returned with folic acid.
"This! This is what I had before!"
I shook my head. "Thats no good for sperm, its for like pregnant women and the developing embryo"
"Really?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
I sighed, pointed out that not only do I get sent on random courses about the rubbish that I sell, I have a degree in biology.
He still refused to believe me. So i got the book out and looked it up for him and then checked it with The Big Boss Woman.
He took the zinc and folic acid and walked to consult with his friend and then returned with, yes you guessed it, the folic acid.
"I want this."
"But its not gonna help!"
"I want it."
Honestly, why do you bother asking for help, if you're not gonna take my advice!

Lets talk about the football.

Lets talk about how tonight was so cold, even with 4 layers of clothes on.
About how we lost to Fucking Wycombe wanderers, who to be fair had more bottle about them than any of us.
About how we had a possible penalty turned down.
About how We have no midfield, constantly hoofing the ball down the pitch and hoping for the best is not good.
Dennis Romm, stop running on the inside and go down the motherfucking wing.
About how We booed them all off the field and sang about wanting Pards to take over, or "Premiership, we're having a laugh" or "You're not fit to wear the shirt"
Cos none of them were tonight.
We were fucking poor.
Poor.
I'm not daft enough to put all the blame on Dowie and Reed (As much as I'd like to blame Dowie!)
The rot had set in long before Curbs left.
Now we have that tactical genius Reed, who if he is a tactical genius, I am the Prime Minister.
Gaaah!

So lets try and catch up on my weekend!
So Thursday was the night of the party on the boat and then Friday I talked Welshy into coming to the Natural History Museum with me so I could look at a pickled Giant Squid.
It was a little awkward at first, considering the relevations of the other weekend but we quickly moved past that, played happily with the interactive displays and then went to his union where we got hammered and I decided to stay at his place rather than worry about the hour and a bit that it takes to get home, via tubes and trains and DLRs and buses.
Really you'd think he'd be more considerate and move closer!
Saturday I had to wake early and head home as the mighty Addicks were playing in the morning Kickoff against Liverpool, I soon wish I hadnt bothered.
Rubbish!
Then I had to rescue a sick Budgie and head back into the city to meet my good BlogFriend Red Squirrel who also got the dubious pleasure of meeting Welshy.
Today I had to work in the Blackheath Health Store That Shall Never Be Named.
I really am annoyed with this store, they asked me to cover 3 weeks cos they were short staffed, which I have done so, now last week, there was 3 of us, which mightily pissed me off, cos its hard enough finding enough to do with just 2 of us on a Sunday.
But I was happy with the thought that I dont need to go in there again, at least thats what I thought until I had to go into the office and discovered that they've put me down to work this weekend.
From 8-6.
On Christmas Eve.
Without checking with me, or my home store or anything.
So I'm mightily pissed off cos they still never mentioned anything, but I need the money for going away, so I dunno what to do.
And after that was my works Xmas do! Which I've just got back from!
The Morning Girl is a Pool Shark!
It was a pretty good night really!

After a rubbishy sleepless night (not surprising I guess after yesterday!- No news on the girl either.)
I headed into the City for 's works Xmas Do.
We partied on a river boat, sailing down to my part of London and back up again. Its kinda awkward going out with them, cos they are a bit clique-y and despite all efforts, I am always singled out and retreat into my own little world.
but the city at night all lit up is amazing!

Was gonna write a post about how I met up with H2 and Bump in London today.

But at 12 in the afternoon I saw a girl fall under one of the tube trains, dunno if she jumped, fell or what, but I'll never forget her scream.
Dunno what happened to her, they were talking to her when they evacuated the station.
Awful stuff, I've always made sure to stand well back when the trains are appraching and will be doubly careful in future

"Aw Bollock off you saddo!"


*Flashback scene starts*

It started as an averagely boring Monday Afternoon, I came into work, was thrilled to see that the damage to my little BlueTack Elephant had been repaired and he had been joined sometime over the weekend by a Bluetack Snail and a BlueTack Snowman.
The BlueTack Snail is actually bigger than both Elephant and Snowman, but hey! In Bluetack World perhaps Snails are bigger than elephants!
Someone asked me to get them a protein shake mix from the stockroom, as I returned to the till aread my Aunty G banged on the glass and waved at me accompanied by one of her Nutters (She works for the council Mental Health Team)
I grinned, waved back, served the gentleman and then turned to see if I could see where she'd gone out the window.
And then I saw him, Poor Hoppy, this kid on a crutch was making his way across from Poundland to our store Hopping with all the speed he could muster.
Closely following him was Afro.
Hoppy clearly already had been hit by Afro and as I looked Afro threw a traffic cone at Hoppy, which just missed him and smacked into our Window.
Hoppy fell up the step and into our store colliding his crutch with our sample table.
"Jesus Christ!" Cried my supervisor!
"Help me!" Cried Hoppy!
The Morning Girl instantly garbled a report down the Walkie Talkie to Street CCTV, and I pulled the doors too and locked us in and Afro out.
Hoppy feels safer now he's in the store and starts mouthing off to Afro who is standing outside waiting for him to leave.
The Morning Girl and my Supervisor are making a series of panicked calls to the CCTV headquarters and trying to find the keys, not remembering that I'm clinging onto the door, attempting to lock it and Afro is still lurking calling people on his phone and is joined by some chavvy bint
(Oh My god, look he's getting reinforcements! Where are the Coppers?! Its like a fucking Vigilante squad out there!) The Morning Girl is nothing if not dramatic!
When the coppers show up its in their proper wagon thingy, from what they were garbling about, it sounds like they were expecting murder to be committed in our shop.
They arrest Afro, take Hoppy into our Staffroom and we point out the Chavvy Girl who's been joined by some other bint who they chase off and THEN to make matters more dramatic the fire alarm decides to use this opportunity to go off.
Which then results in a five minute drama by them pair as they try to figure out how to turn it off, I serve the few customers who got locked into our shop, make a sign that we're closed for the foreseeable future - not that anyone reads it and they continue to demand entrance into the store for their multivits.
I guess they assumed we'd invited the Police round for a teaparty or something!
And then a girl from Savers comes round, alerted no doubt by the panicked witterings of them pair to check we're alive!
Finally Hoppy is taken away by the Coppers, the fire alarm is switched off and they decide that fags and cups of tea are needed to restore their shattered nerves.
So we sit in the staffroom, while they smoke lots of fags and I drink Hot Chocolate and they muse over who Afro was phoning and what will happen about them girls.
"Thing is Charbs," My supervisor muses. "You gave them your name and address, they might want you if it goes to Court."
"What if he was phoning for reinforcements and they'll be waiting for us after work?" Thrills the Mornings Girl.
"You finish in a few minutes anyway." I point out "And dontcha think you're being a little dramatic?"
But the idea has caught on and both are convinced they're never safe to walk home or be in the store alone again.
So 5pm rolls round and I prepare to go home.
"How you getting Back Charbs? Anyone coming to get you?"
I laugh and say that if I did what they did, I'd be laughed at by my family and forever have the tag of sissy on me.
""I really dont like you going home alone." My supervisor worries.
"Aww Bollock off, you Saddo." I laugh. "As if anyone will be that sad out there!"

At least working in Woolwich is never boring and best of all, the interruption and retelling of everyones thoughts on the matter and how they lived through the event, means that magically an hour and a half of my day vanished!

I wanted the morning girl at work to like me again. She went off me a week or so ago, when in a fit of boredom I launched myself at her screaming at her to catch me and then wrestled her to the ground.
So I made her a little blue-tack elephant as a gesture of friendship.
She put it on top of the till.
Imagine my sadness when I saw that the little elephant had been crushed by a thumbprint. Possibly by evil Blue-tack hunters who wanted the little elephants blue-tack ivory tusks

Poor old Bump is not not well.

If you remember Bump was H2's baby, that she had in late October and I went to see last time I was up in Derby.
Apparently he's been diagnosed with Glaucoma, which H2 had as a child and left her blind in one eye, so the poor thing had to have a quick operation up in Derby to check him out properly and then got taken down to Moorfields Eye Hospital down here, for a quick op, when I was in Scotland.
Now the specialists want to take him to Great Ormand Street here, as its more designed for babies and stuff as he was underweight for the minimum operation in Moorfields, so in the new year he has to come for an op, which hopefully has a has a 70% chance of working the first time and an 80% chance of working the 2nd time.
So they go back into the new year. They'll check him again under general anesthetic and operate again if necessary, hopefully it won't be. Poor Bump! Fingers crossed for him!

We're not bottom, we're not bottom, we're not bottom any more!

Yes! The Once Mighty Addicks are now 2nd from bottom, a couple more points and we're clear from relegation!

Altogether now!

"We're not going down, we're not going down, we're not going down!"

I went out last night with Welshy and we hit Weatherspoons in Greenwich and proceeded to get hideously drunk on Cocktails.
And then he hit me with his bombshell.

Well its not really. See I've always been aware of the fact that he fancies me, and I've always done my best to let him know that I dont think of him in THAT way. And we muddle along happily in our own little way, I dont bring it up to save us both from embarrassment, and he's too shy a guy to actually make a move.
And then I was saying something, and then he said I was really unappreciated at home, from the things I've let slip to him, and I laughed it off and then he suddenly confessed, that he loves me and has done since the second time we met, and I was totally taken aback by this, cos this breaks all the unspoken rules of our friendship.
And he came out with all this stuff about how he just longed to be close enough to be trusted with some of my secrets, some of the stuff that I dont tell anyone, like the real reason behind my panic attacks.
And how it was the best moment of his life when he woke up and found me snoozing in his bed the night I had to stop over and how "holding your hand walking down the street would be bliss" and all the rest of this bollocks.
Seriously though I was fairly touched by it all, even if he is a crazy nutter, and was heavily influenced by our "Straw-pedeoing" and many, many cocktails so all the shit is just words, but still! Bless!
And then I had to let him down gently, how he's my friend and I can't think of him in any way other than as a best mate, and like I said, we've known about this and its just bubbled away under the surface but I think the drink forced it out of him and he needed to hear confirmation again.
I can't see it making our friendship any different, he knew that I knew he liked me and I knew that he knew that I dont feel things for him.
But I still feel bad and a little sad for him.

Lets talk about the day from hell.
I knew it was going to be bad when I woke up at half 6 and decided to watch the cricket, considering I went to bed at half 4, this may not be a smart move.
I was working in the Blackheath Store for an hour from 9, which didnt make me happy but I need the money.
I got there too early so went to StarBucks to get a hot Chocolate, only I burnt me tongue, ever burnt like the top layer of your tongue off and then it feels all rough?
Thats what mine was like.
So I got to the Blackheath Store and then found out they didnt even want me!!!

Apparently they wanted me Friday, but they told me and The Big Boss Lady Saturday so go figure.
And then they decided to send me on a Road Trip!
They wanted me to go to Catford to collect some carrier bags, only I refused, seeing as its awkward to get to on the bus, and I frankly didnt know how to get there.
So they sent me to Woolwich and my normal store to collect carrier bags.
And when I return to Blackheath I find that theres 4 yes 4 boxes of carrier bags waiting there and I am really pissed off and refuse to believe that the 4 boxes of bags will be used before wednesday.
And then they send me home! So I truely am pissed off that they dont even need me, and send me on a fucking road trip wasting my money in the process.
And yet I agreed to work there for the next 3 weeks!
Charbs! you are a fool!