Dontcha just lurve big words?
I proper love them, love the way you can turn a simple phrase like "please be nice to Charby as her Dad has a best-before-date that he's rapidly reaching." Into a letter, jampacked with big impressive sounding words.
I mean how good does this sound really?
"Mr --- was diagnosed with Renal Cell carcinoma in jult 01, but despite surgery and chemotherapy, he now has metastic deposits in both lungs, liver and adrenal gland.
blah, blah, trial at the Royal Marsden Hospital, blah, blah, this is only palliative and not curative treatment, and his future is uncertain."
YEAH!
I'm gonna take this letter and shove it up that bastard Paul Lynch's nose and say "Take that Biatch! Remember screaming at me when I had just come back from a funeral not 4 days before, remember looking down your nose at me when I asked about getting my shit together and getting it ECF'd at the start of term?"
Yeah, Don't mess with me! Or those working at The Marsden and Macmillian's Nurses, they worship Dad, they literally kiss the ground he walks on, they rule!
Actually the main purpose of this letter is for me to stop upsetting poor John Cassella who keeps running up to me, gripping me with both arms and saying "Dont worry, it'll be alright, just keep smiling."
(Normally this is when I'm distracted and far-away thinking about I.S or more likely Charlton's next match and he makes me giggle.)
Anyway, they reckon if the drug makes Dad go wonky again and have another mild analphlaptic (sp?) shock, off he comes. So we're all hoping and fingers crossed that he does get to stop on the drug.
Tomorrow we're off to see Nanny (who still hasnt forgiven Mum from "stealing") and Granddad and maybe down to Bromley as I need to get P's 21st birthday present.
OH and cheers to those who commented when I was depressed and drunk yesterday. It means a lot.
Normal chirpy behaviour will be resumed shortly.

So after a full day of lectures, an hour and three quarters in the train another hour getting home (+ stopping of at the standard - The only place to get fish and chips!).
I walk through my front door.
The Brat confronts me as soon as I put my bag down.
"I'm so glad your home, fix the computer, its got like spyware or something."
Huh. Nice welcome.
So by 11pm, we'd established that there was 109 spyware problems on the computer.
I thought Sod this and went to bed.
I've just spent hours trying to fix it this morning.
---
Am very very glad that I didn't take STF up on his offer to ride in his car down to Essex and get a train from Guildford.
He was involved in a pile-up near Luton, which is gonna cost him £450 to repair and he's now back in Derby, unhurt thankfully.
---
So yesterday's little paranoia-fest got worse and worse as the day went on.
Didn't help by Mum ringing me up partway through the England match telling me about Dad's reaction to the drug he was getting pumped into him that day.
"He goes all red" she said. "And all hot and like he's gonna pass out. Took all day to do something that they reckon is only meant to be four hours."
He's fine now, picked me up from St Pancras and is just very tired, but he gets tired a lot these days now and is still in bed.
I'm gonna chuck my dirty washing in the washpile and start my I.S that I brought home.

I'm going back to London tomorrow, in time for the Newcastle game.
And i'm shitting myself, well and truly properly on-the-verge-of-tears, stomach-churning, sleep-stealing frightened and i have been for the last week.
And its such a silly thing to be frightened of, well its not really, but its scary. I'm frightened that when I go home, I will see a change in Dad,
i'm frightened that he will have lost weight, that he will be starting to look ill, that the Drug has not worked.
They gave us 9 months back in June, that's March, and I know its stupid to go on what doctors say as they ain't always right, look at that Jane Tomlinson who does all the triathalons.
But i can't help it. I
'm frightened for myself, for not being able to look after Mothership and The Brat,
I'm frightened of the enavitable.
I'm frightened of something that may not happen for a long time yet.
I'm frightened that, That Something will have started.
I'm frightened that I will not be strong enough to deal with That Something and I am not strong enough to look after everyone.
And most of all I'm so sick of being that strong person expected to look after everyone, I don't want to be so independent any more, I want someone to look after me, to hug me and hold me and stroke my hair and tell me its ok, they'll look after me.
I'm drunk, and I'm going to stop now, i'm sorry for anyone who has had to read this self indulgent crap.
im gonna have a shower and get in bed and cry for something that HASN'T happened yet but will happen.
God I'm pathetic.

To be fair I have 1300+ words of I.S
CL was back in Derby, I didnt get up till late so have only had mini pizza all day.
THink more drink was in my system from yesterday, only had 5 Reefs
asked LF if he's gonna come to stop in Derby to watch liverpool/charlton seeing as the brat has been forced onto child protection count so we cant go see it.
umm.
how bad is that im drunk already?
gonna have shower and go to bed.

So its 2:30 pm, I have just returned from the Uni and am settling down to do a little piece of work.
Now add to that mix, two bored lads who are also feeling slightly guilty that they buggered off to Manchesterland without me.
STF - Via msn. - "you free for the next 4 hours or so?"
Me - with visions of numbers and voles floating round my head, and suspiciously bottles of alcohol and pound coins.
"yup- why?"
"We're coming on a magical mystery tour and your coming too."
"Can TP come?"
"Sure."
TP I think is a little afraid of the lads as she refused and decided to work.
WE went to the Brewery in Burton, awesome place to visit, we saw the two Shire horses which were gorgeous and learnt how to brew beer and played with the old fire engine setting the lights off.
The lads were more impressed with the train set going through the toy town of Burton,
umm, the sight of them doing "Whoo-whoo" noises and humming "Thomas The Tank Engine's theme tune will live forever.
We then decided to go see the Walsall illuminations, which although very very cool and something I would see again, was not worth the £6.30.
Also not sure it was worth 90 minutes of The ENTIRE Bruce Springsteen collection, sung, very off key, and tunelessly by A and STF.
Still, was better than the Busted tape and Diana Ross and Lionel Richie, that it looked like in the beginning I would be forced to listen too.
(I like Diana Ross, but 3 times a lady? - possibly the cheesiest love song since Hello!)
I contented myself by doodling STF and A are Loooosers in the misted up back window.
Came back to Derby about 8:30, went to pub quiz with N and one of his housemates J and was teasd mercilessly for not being able to remember the name of Piltcarn Island, I remembered all the other facts to do with it, just not the name.
Went to Bishops and was a bit of a downer, then to Coyote Ugly, where I got to ride the Bronco Bull, and scored a respectful 37 secs, when the leading score was 40 secs.
(final and winning score 1 min 1 sec - not by me!)
Then to Scream part of our Beloved Friary, where we played aracade games until now when A walked me home.
Going to the Island tomorrow to watch England, hopefully taking TP with me, despite her protests.
She would have loved the random day out, she loves lights, was a bit worried when they told me they were taking me to a lap-dancing club, but I was only meant to be out for 4 hours.
That was 10 hours ago!

Off for a nice driving lesson with Bobby and a thrilling morning looking at journals.
Oh poor Spotty, no one wants you at Chelsea any more, not even your ex manager.
Honestly, you poor little soul.

Was scolded by N for not coming out to play last night.
Apparently the stats are ok (Hurrah and thanks again Jitsu Freak!), now i just need to do something with the mean and create pretty bar graphs and analyse the data.
And as ITFC fan took great glee in telling me, with all the days that I'm going home, gives me two weeks to write it all up.
Yeah, cheers for that mate, 'preciate it!
Remember how I said a few days ago that we'd lost all heating in the flat due to a tripped switch or something.
Its happened again, now my toaster won't work. Hehe. Am blaming TP, she was using the toaster last!
Oh well.
Better try and figure some numbers out, and no going out tonight either as I have an early morning driving lesson.

I definately need a round of applause or something.
The following conversation took place between 18:00 and 20:00 hours, via msn.
STF: - "Pip, pip, hunney, hows ur weekend been? Not out tonight then?"
(My msn name Sleepy [insert real nickname]) "Not tonight old chap."
STF: "Whyever not? we have lots of humourous stories to recount from our trip to Manchesterland, and the night is young, and we are loaded."
Me: "I was out all day yesterday, and I'm pretty cream-crackered, so I may watch a film and go to bed."
STF: "Are you sure, dearest friend?"
Me: "Sadly yes, I must give my liver and bank account some time to recover."
STF: "Fair enough, sleep well."
I would very much have liked to have gone out, but am being good like I said I would, I even went and had a shower so I can use the excuse to myself that I'm in my pj's and not wanting the hassle of getting dressed again, for when they text later, demanding that I come out.
And I've always wanted to say. "Not tonight, I'm washing my hair."

Huh.
Didn't wake up till late and went into town where I went on a bit of a mini-DVD spree, picking up Lethal Weapon2 for £3 and buying Braveheart and Die Hard2 in a buy one get one free deal at Smiths.
Why do shops put the sequals out for stupid prices but not the originals?
Its all a con really.
But no more DVD's for me until Harry Potter3 comes out and the extended LOTR2 comes in the post soon.
I think Thomas More was the one I was thinking of last night, I knew it was something with a "name" name, one of my friends from the stables went there.
I saw ITFC Fan on the way to the pub yesterday, he was off to uni to do some work.
Jesus, get your priorities right, am sure I will be upset when he next tries to show me how much he's done and ends up with several grades better than me, but hey!
You gotta take a break sometimes.
Going home on Thursday, so better have a fairly cheap week, this week, no nights out. (well apart from Wednesday nights game, and I'll come home straight after full time so can't be tempted into spending more money.)
TP's getting good at the football, she now knows who Alan Curbishley is - even if she did try to tell me his name was Alan Carmichael - and she knows Deano, so now she can graduate onto the harder players.
She already knew people like Sven, Becks, Owen and Rio and knows Spotty from when I dragged her and TJ to watch the Southhampton game, and the Chelsea away game, she'll be able to name the whole team by Xmas, if I have anything to do with it.

im pissed.
been out drinking since 2
never unestimate the pulling power of a charlton shirt.
Been chatted up by lad from Luton, who watched cup match last year, and recognised me from monday nights.
found lad who went to catholdic school in Eltham, Joan Roan? dunno what that one is, any help? reminds me why i hate london lads, sorry but im used to lads and lad talk my best mates are lads and i hang with them often but london lad talk puts me on edge and makes me uncomforthable.
poor scottish squaddie, found him too, and his mate Ruprect, only his real name was pete? go figure.
ended up pouring my heart out to him and him likewise.
bless, think he was marries, and lonely, and not getting non army life .
would have liked him as mate, bless.
no becks for wedsnesday.
ah well.

I was reading the BBC's Woking v Halifax preview:
'Halifax striker Lewis Killeen may play, despite a clash of heads against Exeter which caused his eyeball to pop out.'

MH sent me this from the ROI FA website.
'Travelling fan guide to Paris'.
The reminder: 'All supporters departing Ireland should be in possession of a valid passport and don't forget to check you have your travel documents and money.'
Fans, be thankful for 'Some taxi advice. You can either hail one on the street or wait at a taxi rank of which there are hundreds - just look for the square sign with a white TAXI on a blue background.'
The best has to be:
'When crossing the road at a crossroads, as soon as you see the little green man it means that you can cross the road.
But if you're any doubt, stop, look, listen, live.'
*zips lips shut to avoid making the all too easy, stupid Irishman jokes*

My lads (as I've started to refer to them.) are on their way to Manchester now, well apart from R who is on his way to France for the Ireland/France Match, shortly to be accompanied by MH.
Bit gutted that I couldn't have gone but they all brought their tickets long before I came back to Derby, and I don't really have the money to go or can spare the time away from the I.S.

Paranoia is hitting in, I have yet to hit the lows of ITFC Fan who confessed to not only having his I.S on disc, printed out, but saved on three different computers, one of those in a different county.
He also tried to tell me how much he had done - so I, quite reasonably - hit him upside the head with my newspaper.
But last night I dreamed of a fire in the flat and not being able to find all my data in order to save it, so at Tesco I brought one of those plastic wallet things and it now is safe under my bed, where I can grab it quickly in case of fire.
I also thought I saw a water vole scamper across the Marketon Brook walk, It must have been a rat though, but I'm not sure....
I have visons of the damn things, The words jump out at me, while looking up journals, anything to do with "voles." "diet choices" and those two magic little words Arvicola Terrestris I cannot escape them, and I still haven't started writing the damn thing up, I still have until the 8th of November to stress and worry about this.
By that time I will be foaming at the mouth, trying to tell anyone who listens, that voles are obssessed by nettles and sedge, they will take me away kicking and screaming after seeing a vole in Aquatic Biology, I will be locked up somewhere gibbering about losing my data.
I will start a mass and public burning of "The Wind in The Willows" whilst laughing manically.

This is top of my Xmas wish list!
Its gotta be something, when you've become a joke on Ebay!
a "Priceless" moment also on "All Quiet..."

TP was still sulking over the *shooting* incidents last night.
Walking to uni, the atmosphere was as cold as the morning air.
I decided to make amends.
"Tell you what. We could go to Tesco tomorrow and get nice food, like Ben and Jerry's."
"Tesco? Be too expensive, we need the mickleover bus from town and that'll cost a fortune."
"Nah, CL and H2 gave me their old unibus tickets, we can ride on them up to Mickleover campus and walk the rest of the way, only be about 15 minutes walk."
"Can we?"
I shrugged. "Why not?"
"Will you get up early so we can go?"
"Sod off, not for Tesco."
"Tesco, Tesco, Tesco!" She sang, happy again, skipping through the park.
All was well again, and we had an indepth discussion about the "Shazza" tattoed on Stingray from Neighbours ass and if Darren would still have a thing for Libby after 10 years throughout Habitat Management.

I always wanted to be in Fight Club, damn stupid decision to go to uni millions of miles away letting me down again....

Urk.
Spent all day looking up I.S journals, now have 30 references, knowing my luck I'll only be able to use one of those.
Sigh.
TP won't come into my room any more cos every time she does I shoot her with my new toy a foam gun.
Don't hurt none, just shocks her.
She did suggest that I give her a go with the gun.
*Looks shocked*
If she wants a gun, she should get her own.
It's mine. Mine. My own. My Ppppreccciousss.....

I HAVE PALACE CUP TICKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still haven't figured out how I'm gonna get away with going home but who cares?

Been watching the Terminator, I love Sarah Connor, she's awesome and proper Girl power, which got me thinking...
Who would win in a fight between Ripley (Alien) and Sarah?
It was between Ripley/Sarah and Trinity from The Matrix, but she gets disqualifed for being so utterly pathetic in Matrix Reloaded and totally stopping me from watching Matrix Revolutions.
I reckon Ripley would kick butt...

For anyone interested. This is the latest on the Spotty Parker gossip.
Like LF said the other day, it sounds like Curbs is telling Spotty to get stuffed really. He's also been linked with Lazio and Everton.
Its starting to get a little boring.
Fuck off somewhere Spotty and leave us alone.

If I could drag your attention back to CASINO AVENUE, we can see more pictures from the housing estate where I grew up, I lived in one of those little houses, and like I commented, Its' very strange to see these houses, empty and derelict from when I remembered them with people living in them, and people who took care of their gardens and houses.
I was thinking of walking over there to see them before the majority get knocked down, don't think I could now, it'd be too sad.
Whoo-hoo! Just been down to town and brought in the HMV sale Terminator1 and Dogtanian on DVD for stoopid prices.
Had to restrain myself or Student Loan would have taken a right battering!

Bobby Robson is having a baby*!
*Note. Not the REAL Sir Bob, but my 50+ year old Driving Instructor.