Spins I've been getting "You're shit" vibes from everyone as long as I can remember but never mind.
I went out Xmas shopping with me Nanny today (the alzhiemers one) She held up a pair of size 16 trousers.
"Oooh [insert real name] These should just fit you, they might be a bit tight."
Suspicious by the size of them I look at them closer.
"Nanny! They're size 16!! I'm size 8! They're massive! I could fit into one trouserleg!"

Talk about an ego boost!