Hey! You know what else? I realised I have stats to look at where people come from. Rather big in Russia for some reason. Since starting over 2860 views.
с Новым годом to you guys
and 550 from the Netherlands so Gelukkig Nieuwjaar to you guys too.

(Hope Google translate hasn't let me down there)

I'm gonna put my new year resolutions on here, as it seemed to help me remember everything I wanted to try and achieve before the 30.

So:

1. Be a nicer person, stop getting ratty with the Mother and remember to be patient with her. Likewise I need to stop taking my rage and general misery out on Welshy, this includes random assaults when he's asleep and I'm angry. Counting to 10 is always good.
2. Try and concentrate a little harder at work. I'm so overwhelmed with it, I need to take a few more minutes out of my day and think about what I'm doing. Make a list if I need too.
3. Travel more. - Starting with tomorrow's trip to watch the Addicks play Watford! Haha!
4. Consider doing the Spic properly, aiming to sit a qualification.
5. Save. I need to replace the money I spent whilst unemployed.
6. Buy my horse!
7. Keep this a little more up to date!
8. keep a list of all that I read. Just to see what I get though in a year.

These are all rather boring........

7. Drink more and dance more!

Happy New Year all. 

Maybe I'll do my end of year round up now! Just for shits and giggles like!

Crazy old year, started in Spain, ended back in London (Will I ever go for good?) I miss my random adventures. Those crazy drunken nights. The odd fiestas. The cold. The Apocalypse days. The horse friends I made, my toddler boys I taught. But I don't miss the other lessons. I don't miss the man who pretty much sexually assualted me on the road to Calahorra. I don't miss the endless arguments me and Welshy had. The way he had me feeling so miserable. Wondering if we were ending our relationship. I learnt a lot out there. I learnt that we couldn't live in each others pockets. I always guessed this. We're too different. We wind each other up. We need our own space, our own friends, to be separate from each other.
I genuinely thought we'd break up.
Maybe one day I'll add some of the adventures we had out there to fit in the gaps when I didn't blog. I'm lazy. I probably won't.

So we came home. And the novelty of being home quickly went, I need to work, I learnt. To not work takes  stuff away from me. The Mother and boy telling me I shouldn't have left the museum. The bastard who prevented me returning. The job centre who refused to help, destroyed me, made me use my life savings just to keep going. The utter, utter misery and black heavy depression. All bad points.

But! Good points! Sunny Pony. Learning how to trust each other and hack out. Learning to read him and what I could take from him, how far I could push him. I miss my little pony. Going to Lisbon! Such a pretty city! Getting to go to Austria and fulfilling a life long dream to visit the Spanish Riding School.
And another life long dream realised! The Olympics! Ever since Barca '92 when I was 8 I've loved and dreamed of going and it was good to be unemployed during those two weeks. And being there all throughout the 3 day event. Cheering us on to Silver medal. I'll never forget it!

And my new job. I spend a lot of the time virtually overwhelmed with it all, my tasks sometimes threatening to overflow my mind, not knowing where to start. Its still a learning curve. But unlike any other job I've ever had my days go quickly, I don't have time to be bored. Don't have time to cause mischief.

Tomorrow is NYE.  I won't be celebrating as ever. Its been a strange old year. I'm very excited about next year. Life changed during 2011. Continued changing though 2012. I have plans about what I want to happen in 2013. Patience will show if they happen or not. I want to go back to India, I want to go to South Africa for my 30th Birthday. I want to buy a horse and I want to move out. I doubt all those things will happen (most likely the moving out going by track record!) But we'll see how it all plays out!

Football was cold and wet yesterday. Yuck.

Back to work tomorrow! Seems silly to be back for one day but ah well. Good to ease myself back gently into it I guess.
Meeting Lovely in Greeny after work though which'll be fab. Felt a bit meh today. Last night I had a brief Reed search for my new job role and saw it for ridiculous sums - I'm talking 40k yearly upwards. Quick look and it seemed the same thing I do. Looked today and not really sure my skills'd be transferable after all. Tax and medical are rather different.
Updated all my details though and got a call for a potential interview. I explained my circumstances and they said they may get back in touch in the new year.
Next week I really need to put the brave pants on and find out where I stand. Either so I can start looking for new shit or book leave!
Don't know why I feel so meh today. Back to work blues I guess. Got three people coming in one after the other to register and I gotta find this womans paperwork to send back to her and I have an awful feeling I've lost it somewhere. Blagged it by saying I stuck it in the post so passing buck to Royal Mail and Christmas Rush but really have to get on with tracking it down tomorrow! She came across quite scary too! Not the sort I want to mess with!

Read some of my old christmas posts today. Ha. There was on from the early days, saying how I wanted to visit Las Vegas, New York, Goa. Little did I imagine that I'd actually go to these places! Be planning a small return trip to Goa in the New Year all being well. Life has a funny way of working out! I'm glad I have this to record (no matter how irregular) my thoughts and wishes. Its good therapy. And a good way of keeping hold of memories and thoughts.
The New Year is rapidly approaching and with it my 30th birthday.
I set myself challenges in August 2009.

1 - To either have my own place or be living away from home. - I'm starting to accept this may never happen. Houses prices and even rent are now largely outside my affordabilities. I've tried three times to leave home for good and its never worked out. There's still time for me to go before August, and perhaps I'll still leave but not within that timeframe. I hate and loathe being here. But when its a choice between this and homelessness, there's no choice.

2. To learn a foreign language  - Can we take this one as given? I'd not consider myself fluent in Spanish by any means. I'd like to carry on learning it. I can get by out there. Can do basic things. buy tickets for trains etc. Struggle to hold a conversation.

3. To Live abroad for a year. - This one is completed too. I miss my Spanish town but I've learnt the hard way about clinging on to the past. Maybe we'll go back for the town fiesta. I'd like that. Maybe we won't go back ever again. But I've done it.

4 . Get that Maths GCSE - Would you consider this done? I would. I improved my grade up three places with one years study. Yes technically a D isn't a pass as Welshy would remind me. But I'm really pleased with it still and consider it one of my greatest accomplishments, would I have got the C if I'd done it over two years? Dunno. Maybe i'd have lost interest. Maybe in a few years I'll ask Welshy's help again and we'll try for the C. Maybe not.

5. Get a better job - Hmm.. up for debate. Yes I left the museum. But my role is only temporary. We will have to wait and see by the end of Jan. We'll see

6 - To get a horse of my own - I want this to happen. In fact I'm seriously considering it should No. 5 come into play. But is it fair to get a horse when it means pretty much resigning me and Welshy to living at home? I couldn't afford a horse and to move out. One will have to take precedence over the other.

7 - To pass my driving test. - The one thing that I've made no attempt to try and improve or achieve since 2009. It doesn't matter really, its one of those things that I couldn't actually afford to run, nor have the need for one at this moment in time.

Happy Christmas!

Pretty bad day at work. Pretty embarrassing too. I'd spent 10 minutes on the phone placating and explaining to one of my pipeline candidates why we couldn't send him to work yet and how he was almost but not quite there. Got off the phone a bit fraught although it had ended well, it was exhausting.
One of the consultants rocked up to me, accusing me of ignoring her client.  Who is a priority case apparently. First I'd heard of it. Anyway in my job. I deal with a different 100-200 clients a week. I have to chase about 30 bits of paperwork for each of these clients, constantly call who ever I'm dealing with that week to ask why they've not gone to training/not provided me with immunisation records, to try and get clients who are already out work to update their paperwork or to simply provide me with basic details such as a completed application form, as previous people in my department (or consultants) didn't care, they just wanted names. Sometimes I don't even have proof that they are a registered nurse/doctor/monkey or have a clean criminal record.
I also answer the phone, meet and greet new clients and register them, and run errands to the shops and other general housekeeping bits. As a temp I'm under huge pressure to get them to keep me on to avoid signing on again, and our whole department - 3 people - to get these people compliant and out to work and get/keep the ones that are out to work legal.
Sometimes I'm a bit blank when people pass clients over to me saying that they've asked for me as I have a pisspoor memory for names and faces and there's always that moment of panic before I locate their files online.
I knew this guy anyway. I registered him, sent him away as I didn't have a CRB form to give him, needed him to provide me with a Hep B update and to get me life support training certification. The CRB forms only came in late Thursday and when I called him Friday there was no answer.
I'd sent off Hep B for him, although he'd not done the imm correctly, but I thought (mistakenly) that he could get a temp clearance.
The consultant sat down with me and asked me why I hadn't contacted him in the two weeks he'd be registered with us. It was a genuine slip of the mind. And besides I had intended to call him again once the CRB forms arrived as he needed to come to the office to pay for it, she asked me if I didn't understand my job. If I needed more training. That I needed to ensure I called all her clients every week to give them progress reports. To chase them for paperwork.
My boss took offence to this on my behalf and argued that I was doing all I could. I had already decided to take the route of blank ignorance. To be patronised, all the time not making waves, trying to keep the peace as I always do.
For 10 minutes they had a heated argument in front of me about my competency for the job, about the impossible pressure my department has, trying to make over 1000 people compliant who have been allowed to slip or are newly registered. It was humiliating. I tried to make my point occasionally, but to be honest I might as well have not been there.
I would have kept my cool - just - if my boss hadn't then tried to be sympathetic. Urgh. Waterworks. Then the other girl took me aside and warned me that I couldn't be friendly with anyone. That they were liars and cheats, all out to get themselves as many clients out working as possible, not caring about what we were supposed to do (I'd already had an inkling of this when my boss and a consultant had an argument about whether they could use someone who's VISA had expired 6 months ago, consultant argued that as long as they were going to get a new one it'd be ok. Boss merely pointed out that not only was he working illegally, that if we continued to employ him knowing this, we'd be closed down).
So glad to go home early today. And don't have to go back until the 27th. I enjoy the job I do. I like the fact I'm busy all the time. I don't like the fact that sometimes I'm doing 3 different jobs at once, that I get thrust things on me. And I don't like the fact that my team - me - are being treated like dogsbodies and thought to not be doing our job properly when we ring people every week and they consistantly ignore emails and phone calls. Or lie.

Anyway its Christmas now. Time for peace on Earth and all that bollocks. And there's a BA sale on and I have enough pennies to pay for flights to India in the New Year. Just waiting for Welshy to be paid so we can purchase. :)

So we all survived the end of the world!

Congrats to all.

Christmas shopping is done. I have a half day Monday and then that's it till Friday. Welshy is with his friends tonight and then home to Wales for Christmas. Went for a meal with new work Wednesday which was nice. Last Friday I went out with Welshy and TDR which was fantastic. So glad to be out and about.
I'm finally clear of credit card debit, have currently 300 in my normal spending account and have 400 in my holiday fund - we're still thinking about India in the New Year - although dependent on me being kept on at work.
Things are looking up. Still need a new horsey pal though. Starting to miss them, although not missing being out in this awful weather.
I might be going to a back doctor in the New Year. Hopefully will help with the muscle pain I've suffered in my shoulders for years. Trying to convince the Welsh One to come as well.

You know you're getting old when:

• Your boyfriend is convinced you're losing your hearing and makes you take two hearing tests online and go to the doctors for a check.
• You make the conclusion that you shouldn't have a drink past 9pm as otherwise it means getting up in the middle of the night and MY FUCK is it cold at the moment.

Other new starter has bailed through illness, so only me so far. Its ok, they're talking of trying to get someone else in. They had their xmas party last Friday. Everyone bar Charby and the Muslim down one end not working but drinking. Drank a reasonable amount of Rose wine and went to bed mourning my lack of friends. Not like they haven't had time to plan for me to attend, I mean I had the interview end of October....

TBH I don't really give a fuck. Although I desperately want to go and have a night out. Only been out three or four times since returning from Spain in April.

Welshy is talking about returning to India in the new year, Don't know if I can face that hellish flight again. The new year brings the start of my 30th year. I want to go to South Africa for my actual birthday.

If I'm kept on at the company, I'm hoping for a decent wage increase and then I plan to buy my pony. I've actually spent this evening working out start up costs and what it'd cost me per year. Although I really need to call up a lot of yards to get livery fees, but I don't see the point of doing that until I know I'm settled at work and in the position to do so, I reckon I could do it, I can cover farrier and Vet bills and saddler/back bills. Feed/hay/bedding could be the downfall though, but again thats dependent on how often the horse could live out, whether I went for straw or shavings, what it needs to eat.

Terrifyingly I'm going to the doctors on Tuesday for a hearing examination. Since a night out in Jan in Spain where I danced all night under a speaker they've not been great. Welshy reckons I've gone a little deaf. Every now and then I can feel my ear drum vibrating. Hopefully it'll just need a good cleaning out. Don't fancy a hearing aid.

Been an interesting week.
Gave up on 6.30 starts and am now always racing the clock by lying into 7. Much more civilised and as long as public transport plays nicely, its do-able.
It started a little shaky but now I'm starting to feel more confident in what i'm doing and what needs to be done.
Completed my first real sign off! whoop! Although it didn't really count as it was only a reference I needed to chase up. Some of this stuff scares me, they're sending them out to work without references, without criminal record checks, without proper ID and all sorts missing.
Some cases I only have 33% of the file there. Doesn't fill me with confidence but I guess that's my job! To get them to the full 100%! Its also a bit frustrating to find that the paperwork exists but has been filed incorrectly or not placed on the system.
Settled in already which is a bit disconcerting cos, as Welshy says. I need to look at it like I'm going again in January.
Speaking of job hunting, I got offered two interviews on Friday! Hahaha! Sadly I can't attend any of them. I also went and interviewed a new pony, but I don't think she's for me. I know what I'm capable of riding and she wasn't it. The lady was lovely though which was a shame.

I miss my Sunnypony! Although at the moment I'm enjoying not rushing about in the cold riding and doing horsey chores. It'll only be a matter of weeks before I want a new hooved chum!

Decided to take a break from ponies for a week or two and get used to working again.
Up at 6.30! Far too early! It depresses me that if I worked local I'd never earn enough for a horse, but working in the city means I have no time for one. Is it possible I'm destined never to get one?

New job got off to a wrong start when despite getting there 15 minutes early, I ended up 15 minutes late waiting at the old office for someone to meet me and then realising they weren't going to and not being able to figure out how to get in the new office!

Oh and then not knowing how long lunch was and taking A LOT longer than expected. Still day went ok, bit slow but anything in an office will be. I'm not really cut out for office life!

Was considering taking a Spanish exam in the new year dependent on pennies. Reckon I could blag the lower level C grade GCSE equivalent DELE style-y exam without too much revision. Just need motivation!

Also! Been 5 weeks since I've had anything more than a Pimms and lemonade to drink. I'm practically teetotal. Noted as it was the last time I got any money!

Since my last post. I've received the grand total of 57 quid from the job centre! Much riches! I'm a lucky Girl!

But I have proper updates for you. I really should go back into doing this, I have no excuses for not having time!
I have a job! I went for an interview with M and S, impressing the woman with my 12/16 in my customer service test and then I got offered a full time, temp-till-end-of-Jan-but-with-potential-to-become-permanent office job with a medical recruitment agency.
I start Monday, the wages are shit. Like lower than I was on at the NMM but considering I've had nothing coming in since September..... Beggars can't be choosers!

I also had an interview and a second interview for another company that I didn't get. Would have preferred that as it was lots more pennies plus a decent annual bonus.

Welshy is employed too! In a rather bizarre way, in a language school out in Wimbledon although he doesn't seem to have any students, huh. We'll see how long that takes to work out!

Sadly all this job lark means I have to say goodbye to Sunny Pony. I have no facilities to ride him in the dark and its not safe to go out on the roads.

I fulfilled my aim of making him rideable for his young owner but I'm sceptical about the chances of him staying rideable by the Spring... I hope to be proved wrong but I know ponies and he was still attempting to take the pee out of me and if he has time off to forget what he's learnt and how to behave.

Need a new pony to fall in love with. Put an advert up for a new part loan on Wednesday and have at least 7 replies asking for me to go ride. Haven't replied to any of them as.
a) somehow convinced myself I couldn't afford it, even though it'll be the same as riding at a riding school, if not cheaper.
b) I may not be so lucky as to fool someone else into thinking I know what I'm doing!

I'm a moron with no self-confidence!

Jobcenter calls. 'Yeah the reason you can't get money in august...'
Me. 'Wait. I'm asking why I've not got anything in SEPTEMBER and why I got a letter saying its against the law to pay me in October.'
Man puts me on hold for a bit. Comes back. 'I can't explain your letter but you need to get a rapid reclaim form'. Me. 'But I did that. On the first.' 
Man. 'Sorry can't help you further' 
Hangs up.

More job centre woes!

Apparently despite someone telling me that once I'd done this temp work I needed to fill in a certain form, someone else telling me that this was correct and the person who handed me the form also assuring me that this was the correct form, I learnt today that the form I actually filled in was one closing my account.
So no job centre money until I go make another new claim ( my third since April) and God only knows if they'll back date it to the 13th of September.
So, another wasted trip to the centre, more money wasted on calling them up. I was told that I was either lying, or had been mistaken and that she didn't have time to check this with the person sitting next to her, who also happened to be the woman who had assured me that I was filling in the correct form.

Urgh. So depressing, so depressed. Big black cloud sitting on me today. No will to apply or job search. No will to go out with my NMM friends this evening.
Came home and napped.

Going to see the Idiotpony tomorrow and take him for a schooling session. Hopefully that'll perk things up a bit and then I can get cracking with it all.

Welshy came home Friday night, Hurrah! He spent the night and then went up to Brum and then onto Wales, if I didn't know better I'd get a complex about him not wanting to see me!

Please let something good happen soon.

Went for interview Thursday.

Good point.
 Unlike last one, I'd have an office. Rather than a divided corner in the middle of an Indian cash n carry.

Bad point.
I'd have to pretend to be three different people. Including Irene from Accounts.

Now that's a dream career move!

Vienna was really nice. I really recommend it for anyone fancying a short break somewhere. I even managed to get there despite flying to Bratislava! Small problem actually getting off of the train in Ed's town but I combatted that over the next few days by making sure I got on the train carriage with the most people on so someone else could open the door for me! Cunning eh?
I spent most of my time lurking in Welshy's room though, despite him telling me it was ok to spend his money I felt guilty and to be honest. I felt a bit urk and unwilling to explore much.
Went to Vienna to see the Spanish Riding School. A childhood dream realised. Saw morning exercise and then a grand tour of the stableyard and tack areas.
Lovely.
Had another fit of the glumps walking about though and declared to Welshy that it wasn't all that really. When I did have a nice time, just a shame I didn't have the money to visit any of the museums and things.
Went into the Butterfly House though. EVERYONE loves butterflies!
Had an explore around Schwechat (Welshy's town), walking down by the river where I was bemused as to whether they have or had beaver living in the rivers.
Epic night of drinking on Friday. My First proper session since returning from Spain and I got drunk very, very quickly.
Ended up requesting that Welshy took me to the room at 3am where I promptly fell asleep.
Woke up at 8 to get back into Vienna to see the proper riding school performance. I think if I go again then I'd make sure I paid for the real seats as although I could see about 3/4 of the arena, I did miss a few things and had people in front of me preventing me from seeing a lot of the "airs above the ground"
Small complaint about the monghead who took a flash photo of the 8-horse performance despite them saying no photos which spooked one and generally with horses if one spooks then flight instinct takes over and they all spook!
Could have caused an incident but apart from that the performance was a dream.

Back home now and its pissing with rain. Applied for 8 jobs yesterday and one already today. Weathers rained heavily since Sunday morning and I'm not too impressed at this and my chances for riding this week.
(hate riding in rain, Idiotpony is convinced crocodiles live in puddles and my glasses steam up making it impossible to see).
Ah well. Tomorrows another day and Welshy will be back Friday night.

Well I did the the three days and my God were they tiring! I was leaving the house not long after 7am, working close to 10 hrs with a 20 minute break and then getting home around 9pm.
I am NOT designed to sit there for 10 hours straight, I got terrible cramp in my legs and the SAP program I was using has ridiculously tiny font.
I had a bit of an argument about it with Mother about if they'd offer me a full time position. I don't think I could do it, it'd kill me. I'd have no time for anything during the week, football or riding and I would just be shattered at weekends.
Part time maybe but fulltime is just stupid.
H2 sent me a lovely parcel! With sweeties in and a lovely card to cheer me up!
Had a lovely session on the Idiotpony on Friday. We've been working on building up muscles and co-ordination for canter and although we have nailed it on one rein, its still non-existent on the other.
Still... it'll come and I'm very pleased with him and the work I've done with him. He's turning into a lovely little pony, if still very opinionated about when he's had enough work!
Rather depressingly I went to the Bank today and asked to close my ISA. I'm tired of being nearly 4k in debt and my ISA will cover that, I can always start saving again I suppose!

Hopefully will get paid soon from this temp work and hopefully will get some more lined up upon my return!
Applying for shop work now for Christmas. Depressing times.


BUT! I'm going to Vienna on Monday! Whooopie!

Went for another lovely early morning hack with the Sunny-pony, slightly jumpy today but he's only been ridden once this week, so probably a bit fresh, he's so unfit bless him. Did lots of sitting trot work with him! So comfy, like a moving sofa!
Hung about for a bit afterwards and helped his owner bathe him for a show tomorrow. While I was waiting I got a call from the agency I did the days work for and may have work lined up for the middle of next week. That'd be fab! Especially if it is the full three days.
Oh yeah, I've just been looking at my balance and I'm getting my JSA payment on Monday. So confused now! Does that mean I've not been punished for missing the appointment? Or has it just not kicked in yet? Answers on a postcard please!!