Good News Four:

I am to be offered an interview to become a Senior Visitor Assistant, providing me with an extra 3k a year should I get the job. Said 3k would be rather useful if all goes well in the Uni department.

Good News Five:

NB at work, offered to provide me with a reference in regards to the work I do helping him with the schools

Good News Six.

I identified correctly the right person at the ID parade. Nothing more must be spoken of this in case it goes to Court.

Good News Seven (!)

I am going to see CL tomorrow.

Good News One:

After initially telling me that my HND maths wasnt good enough, Goldsmiths Uni are investigating it further.

Good News Two:

I am to go to an ID parade later today in the hope that they have caught Mr Mugger, I doubt i'll be able to recognise him, but thats good too.

Good News Three:

Welshy is off to Barca in a few weeks and I am applying for unpaid leave to work in a Primary School for two weeks, one in November, one in January. If dates and times work out, I can go visit him and escape the bitter cold for a weekend.

Welshy got accepted onto the course in Barca.

Now just to see if he'll go and then what happens with me...

Home alone, Welshy is out at his friends. I was invited but I dont really fancy sitting there watching him play Pro Evo online or Poker.
BORING!

The winter is rocking on, Charlton played so, so badly today and we lost 4-0. I cant see us scrambling out of this shit-poor league we are in this season either. Which as E put it may not be a bad thing, at least it means we wont end up heart-broken again after failing to make the playoff final like last year.

Welshy has a telephone interview on Monday to go do a TEFL course in Barcelona. His friend has already been accepted on it. I want to do it too, but not yet. I have to wait and see about this Primary School teaching lark first. Only once I get my rejection in December can I then play.

If he gets through, he will be out there at least a month. I want adventure too. Not to Spain though. I went to Barcalona once. We went on a tour of the football ground, walked down Las Ramblas and I learnt how to order Macdonalds in Spanish.

He only wants to TEFL it up in Europe. Pah to that I cry! Lets go far, far, far away! Lets go to South America! Specifically Costa Rica. Everything I read about it sounds amazing. The wildlife. Beaches. Rainforest. I can sing endlessly "Do You Know The Way to San Jose?"
Plus if you're going to do these things, lets go do it properly!

I worry that Welshy will not come back if he is accepted. Welshy does not want to live in the UK. He scorns the things I love about England.
I love the mental weather, I love knowing the animals and plants that I pass on the way, I love football. I love the history.

I want very much to spend a year abroad having an adventure and then I want to come home.
I dont know if Welshy will want to. I do not know if he will come back or stay out there once he has done his course. I cannot make any crazy decisions until I know whether I am accepted into uni or not. I have also gone for a promotion at work. I would earn more money for which to save for uni if I can get the job and stay at the museum in the meantime.

ITS ALL SO TRICKY!!!!! WHY ARE THESE THINGS HAPPENING AT ONCE!?

The best thing, I feel for me to do, is to stay here. If I am accepted, to earn as much as I can at the Museum before I start uni in September. If it all goes tits up and I cannot get into uni, as I suspect I will not, then I can go.
I have no fear that if he goes out and stays out, it will be a downer on our relationship. I just dont want him to go and have adventures without me! But he's too impatient! Grrrr!!!!!! Naughty Welshy!

I am off next weekend to visit CL and see her baby get Christened. MH will be there. I kinda fear seeing her and how I will react. Whether she will say anything. Its been two years since we fell out and I spelled out in no uncertain terms how I felt about her behaviour. She is now 7 months pregnant with her "sperm donor" baby. I am a grown-up (unfortunately) However much I would like to push her down a flight of stairs I shall be on my bestest behaviour!

Whee! They've announced London 2012 ticket prices! Now just to wait till next March before I can buy.....

I can't wait. I am that saddo who is there at 2am watching the synchronised swimming finals. I couldnt even NAME a move involved in it, but when the Olympics rocks up, there I am nodding wisely and pretending I know the name for a lot of different types of splashing.

I registered for tickets ages ago! For Archery, Athletics and of course Equestrianism.

Not much is rocking out lately.
Gone for a promotion at work to a new post. Frankly I cant see why they need this post, its an almagamation of severol roles that I and many others do already. But its an extra 3k a year. Its causing all sorts of debate at work, better than us normally bitching about how bad the place is and taking gossip away from the forthcoming departure of the Nelson Uniform, which is all people come to see as the new wing-building has destroyed many other galleries and other shit had to be taken away for its own conservation.
So what else?
CL is getting her baby christened at the end of the month so I'll be trotting off to Bristol for that, with Welshy in tow. Poor guy hates churches and all that kinda nonsense, but I fear seeing MH there, and the company will be good.
E has decided to become a lesbian. Nothing wrong with that, but I dunno. I'm not sure its what she wants deep down. I kinda think maybe its a reaction to what happened to her in the past. The incident that was so painful and of which I cannot even speak of on here.
She admits its the less scary option and is very confused by it all herself. I guess I just hang about and see what happens and support her and if it is the way forward for her at least. Well it doesn't matter does it? We're not living in the 1800's anymore!

I went out for a friends leaving drinks tonight.
She recently came out and has herself a girlfriend. Its really cute to see her finally happy and shit. Even if she is a bit sickening. I dont really care to hear how much you love her. Come and play with me.

There was another guy out with us, a mutual friend who works in the security department. I dont like him, I find him creepy.
He pops up in my gallery and never really says much, is hard to get into a chat with. But he seems to think we're good friends and always wants hugs. I dont like it, he makes my stomach feel ill for no reason I can really describe. He's not too bad looking I guess, he's fairly clean and yet.... He gives me the creeps.

I've had male friends now for longer than I care to remember, and them occasionally trying to push it dont bother me, pinching my butt, the occasional grope of the tit hidden as part of a wrestling match. Thats par for the course, I flirt back with them and its all fun and games.
One of my best friends at the museum, a guy named TDR made it very clear that if Welshy wasnt on the scene, that he would make a move, and a couple of times when we've gone drinking just the two of us, he's forcibliy made the effort to only kiss me on the cheek goodnight, a few near misses, but he respects the fact that I love Welshy and I respect the fact that he wouldnt make a move as long as I'm with him. That's all good. I have no problem hanging out alone with him, he doesnt make me uncomfortable in any way and he is my friend.
This guy. I dunno. The hugs, the stroking of my arm. It makes me uncomfortable and I've never fooled about with him like I do my other friends. I keep a distance.
Today my friend has got a job working as airport security. So she was playing at pretending to pat me down. All good fun so far.
Then he tried to have a go and I shied away like a frightened horse. Saying goodnight and there was one hug that lingered for longer than needed and I dont know why he tried to grab my legs on the way out when I said goodnight to another male friend.
I dont think there's anything TOO wrong with him, he is like it with everyone seemingly. But him just being about me, makes me feel ill and I try to avoid being around him.
I wonder why it is, that makes me feel so funny about him?

Wheeee!
They're making another Pirates of the Caribbean movie!
Filming if at work and in the building next door, today I watched a Jack Sparrow Stunt double jump out a window.
They need extras.
Did I put my name down for it?
What do you think?

my version of tomorrow is clearly different from other peoples!
Finally got my new phone up and running after a few days on hold to different people arguing as to why it wasnt working when they promised it would be.
Plus there's been the excitements of a new job at the museum - a senior - not quite management - not quite supervisor - type role.
Basically doing all the shit i do now, but for 3.5k a year more. This kinda news makes Charbs a happy bunny as I am so poor and I need money for things, fun things like travelling and riding and football.
Of course - ahem - I will be saving a large percentage of this for potentially going back to uni.
Thats still looking pretty doubtful as they've all upped the ante this year and where as I could have blagged my way in with a D and a maths equivelancy, they're now not taking it.
The uni that I want to go to however, is offering a maths module on the HND course as good enough, I did a module on my HND that combined Maths, English and IT so I have my fingers crossed that somehow this will be good enough!
Dont hold your breath, I plan on being disappointed!

So let me tell you now about our house disappointments.
The place that we had lined up, had been sublet the year before, 24 chinamen had fitted somehow into a 3 bed flat, the council found out about it after we had passed the reference check, after we had all our deposits taken....
So its taken nearly three weeks to get our moneys back and it was so much that until we got it back, that we could afford to apply again and house hunt.
Only now Welshy's all sold on the TEFL thing he's badgering me to do it now, but i'm so unsure cos of applying for uni, cos of this new job thingy. I need to hang on here till Xmas at least to find out if I can go to uni or not and he's right, we shouldnt tie ourselves down to a flat if my application goes tits up like it probably will and stop ourselves from adventuring!

I met a lady this morning walking to work.
She approached me rather excitedly.
"I saw you! You were attacked on Wednesday!"
"Erm yeah..."
I was already feeling nervous, I had to walk past Blackheath Bluecoats this morning which, is a rather Black school and for the first time I eyed them up, worrying that they might come for me. Irrational. I felt kinda sick walking down the same path thinking... this is where it happened...
"I was behind you! Walking my dog! I saw him hold you and you were screaming! Dirty Little Bastard! Did he hurt you? Did he get anything?"
I showed her my finger, I've been showing everyone the cut on my finger from where he dug his fingers in.
"Dirty Little Bastard! You did well though! I saw you! You were really going for him, you were squirming and kicking and everything and then I saw you chase him into the bushes and I tried to cut him off but when I only saw him leave I was afraid you were hurt so I looked for you and couldnt find you so ran home to call the police!"

I felt so better hearing her say that I'd done well in fighting him, it had all been so quick and the worst thing (well apart from the actual crime and the woman who had done nothing to help) had been the thought that I had given up too easily, that I had been a sissy girly, a pathetic victim.
She was keen to reassure me though.
"No! There's no way I could have done that, you were really going at him, he'll think twice before trying it out on you again!".
Once was enough.....

Anyway, new phone is on order, and I walked that way home, I wanted to go alone, as I was feeling nervous, a kinda getting back on the horse feeling I guess.
But a friend made up a phoney excuse about having to walk that way anyway and I was glad.

Shorty.. Am not sure pepper spray is even legal in the UK, anyway there's no way I could have got it out of my bag to use with him pinning my arms down.
Time to move onwards and upwards.
Be prepared tomorrow for the reason for almost regular updates and news of a potential new job!
dum-dum-dum!!!

I got mugged yesterday! Mugged! I cant fucking believe it.
I'd left work and the park and was walking alongside the heath, on the route that I've covered thousands of times. Many a time with my phone out, skipping along, singing.
Yesterday I was distracted answering a text from Welshy. There was no one lurking outside the park, then halfway down the road, some guy grabbed me about the waist pinning my arms down and screaming that I should give him my phone.
At first I thought it was one of my friends playing a joke, but I instantly realised after that, it wasnt.
I fought him, I wriggled and tried to headbutt him. I screamed for help. There was a lady with a pushchair perhaps 100 yards ahead,
"HELP! HELP ME! YOU CUNT, GET OFF! NO! HELP!"
and similar. She was watching me! She never tried to help. I hope your baby dies in the night. You whore.
I kicked backwards. I caught him on the shin, not a good kick cos his legs were astride, but enough to make him yelp and he dug his fingers into me.
Ripping the skin open on one, making me bleed (shame its not enough to get it done for assault as well.)
I yelped then and automatically let go, I regret that now. Not putting up enough of a fight, letting go.
He grabbed my phone and ran into the bushes, down whats called the Dip and up again. I chased him, still screaming at him.
"COME BACK! YOU CUNT! COME BACK! SOMEONE HELP! SOMEONE STOP HIM! YOU COWARD, COME BACK AND FIGHT ME PROPERLY!"
Then I fell over going up the hill and lost him.

I found a lovely man walking two huskey dogs and he called the police for me. They came and they had stopped every black youth, nearby, even getting them off of the bus and we drove past slowly, but I never got a clear look at his face. So a pointless act.
I know he was black, African, he was my height and weight more or less and probably 16-18.
Dressed in black.
Where on Earth did he spring from? The road was empty. Where does this kinda thing enter your mindset. I have to walk that way home on Friday. I am nervous now, I hope I see him again. I will kick the living shit into him. But I am nervous too.
Everybody has been sympathetic and tell me I shouldnt have fought him, shouldnt have chased him into the dense bushes of the dip where you dont find people. But I am angry, I am angry that no one, especially the watching lady didnt help (She came by when I was with the man and asked me if I was ok and if there was anything she could do to help.) Yeah. You could have come when I was screaming at you.
I am angry that I couldnt fight him better, that I panicked like a stupid girl, that he made me bleed, that I CRIED when the police came. and I'm angry he's made me feel nervous walking along one of my favourite routes.
I could have understood somehow if it had been pitch black in the park. I could have understood if I was in the dip itself, but for it to be broad daylight, a row of nice, posh apartments on oneside, a road on the other. How could no one have come and how could this have happened?

I've had a fab weekend! I went up to Stoke on Friday to fulfil a long-held dream (ok, denied uni trip) to visit Waterworld, which is one of the big water parks in the UK, me and STF talked about going there a long time in Derby but it never quite worked out.
Then we headed across to Birmingham to see his friend and then Saturday and Sunday was a whirlwind! We caught up and went for tea with the Lizard and her bf, we met up with STF, A, Booker, JN and MV, only R was missing from my motley crew of boys!
Drank in Our Beloved Friary, in town, then left them in a shit club, and we went to what had been D&E. Only D&E is now Syn and instead of playing fab cheesy music. It was awful new stuff. Very disappointed.
But we were in at 1am eating a yummy pizza (and oh! it was so nice to not be squashed in a single bed as we have been lately!)
Then Sunday we met TP, TJ and H. and then H2 before catching the late train home. And I can't believe that rent for a 3 bed house is half of what a 1 bed flat is here!
Madness!
I'd love to be up there again, perhaps not in Derby, but closer to my friends.
Welshy is pushing for us to go to a TEFL course. I really wanna do it, but I'm not sure its a good time, I wanna get applying for uni, and we've half commited ourselves to living with two guys should we find a place. I just feel bad messing them about.
We'll see....

So we're back in London for what two weeks?
And lets see, Granddad has checked himself into hospital. Yeah. Seems HE's suffering from dementia too now and his is going at a lot faster rate than Nan.
They've all decided to move Uncle J in to look after him, despite all the aggro he caused last time.
I wonder how long it'll be before he gets moved into Perrygrove alongside Nan, or how long before John walks out on him again and leaves them, foodless, and medicineless, like the last time he was supposed to be caring for them.
Or how long till he moves his new girlfriend in.

J is suffering from some kinda mental illness. He has attacked Mother, attacked his own daughter and tried to get his wife arrested. He was forced to retire from the police force and got a job as a school caretaker. Then he pinned one of the children up against the wall and was made to leave.

Mother thinks it comes from some sorta post-traumatic thing, years ago when I was like 13/14? He was working as part of the Transport police and was chasing some random, he chased him over the bridge and got caught, in his effort to free himself, he fell off the bridge and down onto the live wire train track.
He was electrocuted, I remember visiting him in Tommy's and seeing the entry point, just under his armpit and then where the current left his body, somewhere on his leg. he just managed to roll free before the 12.34 fast train to Brighton thundered along the tracks.
The stress, and understandably so! of this incident, is what he blames for the two heart attacks he suffered a few years later and which was what finally forced him to retire from the police.

This is what Mother feels is made him the... I dont wanna say unhinged, but slightly unstable person he is. And she is deathly worried that he might snap again onto Granddad.

Oops. Today is my normal rostered day off of work, only I went to play at Go Ape on Tuesday and I must have swapped my day off around cos I got a rather confused phone call at 12 asking me why I wasnt in work.
I was really confused too but I guess I must have swapped it over, will check when I get in tomorrow.
I'm going to Derby. I cant wait. I spoke to Booker for the first time in nearly two years quickly on FB chat tonight. Now i'm hit with a wave of nostalga.
I shall take Welshy with me. We plan to go to Stoke on the Friday and visit Waterworld and then either head to Brum to see his pal or we'll go to Derby, its my weekend off so I just need to work out Friday. No messing it up like I did today!
Mother is home and dropped a bombshell that she's BROUGHT a flat out in Lanzarote that she plans to have rented out for half the year and keep for our own use the rest of the time.
Its sounds so POSH! I remember when I was younger, worrying about how my parents would afford to pay the rent and have us evicted.
Then we brought my home now and that seemed so incredible to me and even more so when the Life Insurance paid it off and now we have TWO homes! One abroad!
We put in our paperwork for New Flat and hopefully we'll be able to move soon, 10 days to a fortnight, Welshy confidently predicts me, we'll see.
I'm gonna be living all multicultural, I assured Welshy, not only am I going to be living with a Welshman, I shall be taking up residence with a Saffa and a Kiwi.
Two guys. I dont know the Saffa all that well and Welshy knows the Kiwi better than me, but he seems a lovely sweet thing and I like him.
So its gotta be better than the horrible atmosphere last year.

Went flat hunting. Found an ex council flat so grotty outside, huge inside. Needs professional cleaning. Cheap though. We'll see. Nothing can be worse than last year.
Working again tomorrow then off on Tuesday to Go Ape! again.
Am slowly working on updating this thing. Updated my "100 things" list anyway to make it seem less like a 12 year old girls blog. Man I was so mardy when I first wrote all this shit.
Am gonna head up to Derby in a few weeks, see the boys. R is back from the Caymans which is ace, not seen him in forever.
Not a lot else has happened since the other day. Am already fed up of sharing a single bed with Welshy. He thrashes about like a beached whale and is always waking me up.
Poor old lad.
Mother is home from Grotty on Thursday and then everything will get even more awkward and cramped.

Hullo!
Diving was fab, met a 5 foot angel shark, HUGE rays, lovely coloured fish, explored a ship wreck and got checked out by a Grouper. I took a camera down with me so hopefully I'll get some fab photos back but diving without glasses or contacts meant often I was just sorta nodding vaguely when my Dive Master was pointing things out.
We scattered Dad too out there, on a small group of rocks next to the pub he favoured and gave him a beer to go out with. Later that week we went to watch the Liverpool game with him.
I got hammered one night and finally achieved that drinking milestone of drinking so much you throw up. I cut all my hair off to have a quirky bouncy bob (Welshy reckons I must have taken a lego woman figure in to the hairdressers with me to use as a model) and got terrible prickly heat and am trying desperately hard not to itch and rip my skin off like I did last time.
Home now. Have been to see CL and meet her baby (born at Xmas) It was nice enough, although HOW did it manage to get baby food goo on its socks? and watching it trying to eat really put me off my scone and I felt revolted.

Flat hunting again. Mother is still in Lanzarote so Welshy is at mine and we're flat hunting tomorrow, so we'll see what happens there. The cutns that we lived with are trying to steal my deposit and we're fighting to get it back (all 695 quid!!)

Remember I set myself some challenges to achieve before I was 30?

One was to move out (Check - although Temp Set back)
One was to pass my Maths GCSE after scoring a F the first time round (For those of you who dont know, the scoring goes A*, A, B, C, D, E, F, G.)
I've struggled all year with it and I finally got my result a D. I'm dead chuffed with this, still not technically a pass (A*-C) But its a huge improvement. If I was doing it just for fun I'd take it as a pass and leave it at that.
Its still not quite good enough though to get me into uni to do a one year Teacher Training Course, well a few unis will take me if I then pass a maths equivelency test.
But due to the state of the world at the moment, uni places have been slashed and there were no spaces for me.
So I'm gonna try and do a resit at Xmas, made a few enquiries about it and we'll see if that gets me a C.
I can still apply for Goldsmiths (local uni) for next year in the meantime and they might let me with a D.
So another task: To get a proper job and leave the museum by Sept will probably be postponed for a bit. Its no biggie, at least I have a job.
Another mission I wanted to accomplish was to pass my driving test, but lack of real job + lack of funds = no lessons.

Finally I wanted to go live abroad for a year. Well thats kinda a vague plan at the moment, me and Welshy are considering doing a CELTA/TEFL type course starting September, and we'll consider our options after Xmas. By then I should know if I'll be in uni, if I'll have passed my maths and if not we can then travel for a undetermined amount of time or all being well we can go from Jan till August when I would need to return for uni.
The only downside to this plan is that what will we
A - do with Geronimo the Tortoise.
B - What about the flat lease that we'll be getting which'd be for a year. No point doing that if we plan on being out of the country for 3/6 months.

But I tell him, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, lets do the course, lets see if I can get into uni next year, If I cant then we can travel. If I do, then we can spend the year after I pass working abroad.
But at least we'll have done the course so we dont need to faff doing it then.
We'll see.
In a year I've virtually achieved 2 of the 5 tasks. Its good going, I figure.

Quick update cos i'm dropping with tiredness.
Am flying on holiday tomorrow. Lanzagrotty here I come.
Flat... Not sorted. Gotta leave it on the 21st. Everything is too expensive, saw one lovely flat, couldnt get the 2k the agents wanted before moving in.
Welshy saw a slightly cheaper one today, ex council so its scrotty as hell on the outside but nice inside. Nothing can happen now till I move out so we'll see.

I'm so desperately tired. Was my 27th on Sat (HOW?!) went with Welshy to the History Museum then to Littlehampton to visit a friend.
NEVER go to Littlehampton. It is a place old people go to die. Anyway I went to bed at 3, woke up at 5.45 to get to work in time.
Feel worse today than I did then.
Gotta be up in 5 hours anyway. So its bedtime.
Night!

Yeah I know! Let me explain! Faithful Fred my old laptop died too. Its something about the evil flat eating its energy, rendering me once again computerless.
Its hellish there at the moment. thanks to invisible builders placing scaffolding by the windows we've not been able to open a window or balcony door for THREE weeks. Its like a sauna, hot, smelly and disgusting.
TP and TJ are visiting this weekend, so looking forward to it, but cos of scaffolding our useless tv has died a death as well.
Ho Hum. Speaking of dying a death our relationship with Evil Flatmates is virtually prehistoric. We dont speak. I am convinced that they told Evil Landlord that we were moving out end of the contract, when we were gonna stay. Didnt tell us till we got a call from letting agency.
Now we have till 17th of August to find somewhere new, but:
A. we cant afford a deposit.
B. We cant afford to rent anywhere the two of us and have no one to move with.

So yeah, looks like unless something drastic happens Welshy is back to Wales and I'm back to Mummys in August....

Best get back to work/looking on gumtree/bbc website/solitaire.

So Mondays exam went ok, I think... Gotta wait till August for the results - felt so odd to be back in an exam room! Got another, the calc paper tomorrow which I've found harder but we'll see.

I forgot in my update the other day to tell you THE biggest news you are likely to hear. Actually I'm not sure you'd care but its BIG to us.

Have I told you guys about how I fell out with MH? We've not spoken for like a year now. I'd been bottling up for ages some horrid, careless comments she'd made to me in the past (a check through the archives - cos I am THAT bored reveals I mentioned some of them but not all)

Yeah, let me just give you a run through cos fuck it, she was supposed to be one of my best friends and it still hurts.

Ok *hazy flashback scene*

My Dad's been diagnosed as terminally ill, what would you say to your supposed best friend at this time, when I told her my plans to return home to look after him and maybe get a part time shop job to help out.

You certainly wouldnt tell them that "they were just going home to avoid reality, that there was no need for them to return to London and that they should move to Sheffield with you, or that there was no point you finishing your degree if all you're gonna do is work in a shop."

Gee, thanks for the support there....

Anyway there was hundreds of other snide comments like that, about my Mum's accident after Dad died, how again I was using that for an excuse to avoid real life... She certainly never cared that my Granddad was diagnosed with cancer (all clear now thank God!) and ignored that.
Yet like a mug I kept quiet, I supported her when she decided that it was more fun to sleep and seduce married men, how she miscarried a child by one of them and then when the shit hit the fan how she blamed everyone but herself. She told me I should leave my job in the museum, and Welshy just so she could have a housemate (albeit an unemployed one) in Derby.

Eventually I grew a backbone and told her to fuck off, over an entirely different incident, when she blamed me for everyone in her church finding out about her antics.

That was a year ago and I still get vague updates about her life as we have mutual friends, CL for one. I still kinda worry about her as I'm a fucking softie. I've heard crazy rumours about how she got involved with another man (unmarried) who then proceeded to take all her savings and leave her penniless. About 4 jobs that she's lost in the 2 or 3 years that followed her Masters, through unprofessional conduct and child safety issues (although nothing seems so bad that she can't then get another job or lose her Police Check record)
This resulted in her being unable to get another job in Derby, and having to move to Northampton at the start of this year. (From what I've heard she blames everyone else for this, for losing all her jobs).
I think she has another Family Visitor type job there, or runs a children centre depending on who you talk to.
I dunno, I cant help but worry that some of these rumours are true, and I know i'm down here (and shouldnt care!) so stories do get embellished. 7 years of friendship was a hard thing to throw away for me and I do still worry.

Anyway... Two weeks ago The Lizard hits me with this bombshell
"Do you know that MH is preggers and its a sperm donor!"

So yeah. She's decided that at 29, she's verging on the menopause(!) and needs a kid. So she's entered the world of single parenthood and dont get me wrong, I think anyone who breeds and ends up being the solitary carer is pretty heroic. but why would you take the clean and clinical decision to do it that way? I'm all for independence but that just seems madness to me
(Or is my lack of maternal instinct showing?)
She's not exactly in her 40's (although CL seems to think that her doctor told her it was now or never as her body was failing... I dunno, I know she's lied to her in the past)
And the sperm donor? Well apparently she asked a friend to do it, so its not even like going hrough the NHS.
How do you explain that to your child? How do you make that decision? How do you go through your list of male friends and then broach the subject? I'm fascinated by how she went about the process. Did she sleep with him or use a turkey baster and how often did this happen?
If you cant even afford to live yourself how do you expect to support a kid?

Its all beyond me. But now I'm feeling kinda old! There's only E and The Lizard out of my admittedly small group of female friends that aint married or preggers. At least the boys aint letting me down! Am I the only one who still wants to get drunk rather than married or pregnant?
And am I wrong for being really concerned for MH and the child (due in December) considering all the wank she's done to me or is this just a new 21st century way of doing things and i'm just old-fashioned?

Tomorrow is my Maths GCSE retake exam. I'm aiming for a C but I think a D is more my level, if I get lucky.
We'll see. I CANNOT wait for this to be over! just my exam tomorrow and Friday and then waiting for my results. I can't believe that I've pushed two years of work into 10 months and how lovely is Welshy to have (not so) patiently gone through it all with me, over and over and over again! I dunno what I'm gonna fill my evenings with now! I'll actually have to talk to him!

What else is going on in my world? We'll gloss over the miserable playoff defeat.

Oh I've FINALLY gotten to ride at the new stables, first ride was a bit of a farce, was put on a horse at least 16 inches taller than anything I normally ride and I can ride it, but I cant ride it well, you know?
So it was a bit of a disaster as the class was a bit beyond me as well, considering i've not had a proper group lesson for a few years, and only done privates.
So then I got bumped down to a baby group but I'm hoping not to be there long, once I've gotten back into the swing of Schooling ride ethics I can move back to a proper class.

I'm going on holiday again! Only Lanzagrotty this time, for a diving holiday with Mum, I hate Grotty but diving everyday should be good.

THe Evil Housemates are leaving, yeah, they've borrowed stupid money to get a part-buy-part-rent deally. Its in a horrid area and sounds like a horrid deal but thats how desperate they are to get away from me.

We had a HUGE row yesterday. I hate the fact that its the middle of summer and they still feel the need to leave lights and heating on. WTF. I'm certainly not paying for lights to be on when everyone is in bed or its bright sunshine and i'm certainly not paying for heating in the middle of fucking summer.

So we need to move someone else in. I dont know who yet. But we cant afford that place alone, esp if I go back to uni. We've got two potentials so watch this space...

I should go do more revision...