The I.S is due in tomorrow!!!
AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yet I'm still taking time out to go see Man U V Man City.
Probably not a good plan...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Saturday, November 06, 2004
I think LF now thinks Im sucidal, or slightly pathetic, I sent him a series of increasingly desperate texts, and he's coming to see me and stay for a few days.
He's had an accident himself, got slammed into by a pallet truck and pinned against a concrete post, so is off on sick pay.
Bless him.
This is either a good thing that he's coming to visit or a bad thing.
A - it means the BB will probably get pissed, and not want to see me anymore, which could be a good thing, cos I'm growing more and more aware that I cannot allow this situation to continue.
B - Just getting the texts was making me fluttery in the tummy and eager for more, so it is possible that I'll get drunk one night while he's here and confess all, and be rejected, as from the way he was sounding tonight, he now just sees me as a mate.
But we'll wait and see.
He's had an accident himself, got slammed into by a pallet truck and pinned against a concrete post, so is off on sick pay.
Bless him.
This is either a good thing that he's coming to visit or a bad thing.
A - it means the BB will probably get pissed, and not want to see me anymore, which could be a good thing, cos I'm growing more and more aware that I cannot allow this situation to continue.
B - Just getting the texts was making me fluttery in the tummy and eager for more, so it is possible that I'll get drunk one night while he's here and confess all, and be rejected, as from the way he was sounding tonight, he now just sees me as a mate.
But we'll wait and see.
Hurray!
First away win of the season!
Against the managerless Spurs too! - means plenty of taking the piss outta Dad.
I'm off to see the Markeaton park fireworks later, so gotta hop in the shower and find some warm clothes to wear.
I'm going to confess now that after the excitement of hearing Stevie Brown on the radio had worn off. I missed most of the Charlton 2nd half, I fell asleep with us two-nil up and woke up to find us down to 10 men and the score 3-2!
*wonders who she can "borrow" in order to watch MOTD tonight*
Also having a bit of a panic about the Voles (Due in Monday) Its done, but only has 9 references and is 800 words short of the minimum, This Is Not A Good Thing.
Will be out watching Manchester Utd V City tomorrow, which promises to turn into a bit of an all dayer, so I'm gonna have to get my head down in order to pad it out a bit.
First away win of the season!
Against the managerless Spurs too! - means plenty of taking the piss outta Dad.
I'm off to see the Markeaton park fireworks later, so gotta hop in the shower and find some warm clothes to wear.
I'm going to confess now that after the excitement of hearing Stevie Brown on the radio had worn off. I missed most of the Charlton 2nd half, I fell asleep with us two-nil up and woke up to find us down to 10 men and the score 3-2!
*wonders who she can "borrow" in order to watch MOTD tonight*
Also having a bit of a panic about the Voles (Due in Monday) Its done, but only has 9 references and is 800 words short of the minimum, This Is Not A Good Thing.
Will be out watching Manchester Utd V City tomorrow, which promises to turn into a bit of an all dayer, so I'm gonna have to get my head down in order to pad it out a bit.
I've just got in.
Spent the night round BB's flat, rather successfully cheering myself up.
Normally I am a happy drunk, I dance, I do karaoke (both very badly!), I crack bad jokes, and attempt to stand up for myself, being mostly the only girl out with lads, and I have to take the inevitable remarks about Charlton, I wrestle with N and lose often.
No-one really knows that I go home and cry.
Except last night, possibly due to the fact that I had been throwing my food up all day, before going out and celebrating the not-failing-but-not-passing of the dreaded Driving Test.
It all started so well, UDOBF had a packet of cheap sparklers so we played in Our Beloved Friary's beer garden.
I won a game of Pool. (The Sheep joined us, but I wasn't going to let it spoil my fun). I lost 2 other games.
Then BB text, he's apologised for this and I don't think he realised how hurt it made me, thought that I'd take it as a joke. "Fancy a fuck love?"
Obviously I told him where to go.
But then I got thinking, "He thinks I'm shit, just like everyone else does." and I started to get upset.
See for a very long time before I came to uni, I believed this, I was so utterly convinced that I was nothing. Don't suppose the Mothership helped when I've overheard her tell her mates that she would have rather had The Brat than me.
(This is cos of his special needs and all the problems when he was little, I understand now why she said that.)
But it hurt and I never forgot it, I was only 8 or 9 at the time, another time, I tried to explain to her why I was so miserable at school, why the other kids hated me.
I think I was about 16 or 17 at the time and I'll never forget the way she turned to me and told me my life was worthless anyway.
I don't know why she said it or whether I took it the wrong way.
But it just seemed to confirm everything I had ever suspected.
So even though others told me different I believed that I was nothing and had no self-esteem and no self-confidence.
Then LF showed up and I finally began to think, "Well hey, he likes me, he wants to be with me, perhaps I'm not this piece of nothing like I've always thought."
And so I began to come out of myself a little, to assert myself a little.
Which is why MH can't believe that I go round BB's and I know he's using me and I don't care cos I'm using him, and when he's asleep and has his arm around me, or tells me I have great tits/ass/whatever and that I do whatever he wants me to do really well, it makes me feel better and believe that I'm not that worthless.
Anyway, I thought once uni was over I'd never have to go back, except obviously I have to go home now.
And I am so afraid, not only of what I've already said here before several times before.
I am afraid that The Mothership will take away this little, tiny piece of self-esteem that it has taken so long to grow.
So I cried in Our Beloved Friary, and then walked round to BB's and fooled around to cheer myself up a little.
Spent the night round BB's flat, rather successfully cheering myself up.
Normally I am a happy drunk, I dance, I do karaoke (both very badly!), I crack bad jokes, and attempt to stand up for myself, being mostly the only girl out with lads, and I have to take the inevitable remarks about Charlton, I wrestle with N and lose often.
No-one really knows that I go home and cry.
Except last night, possibly due to the fact that I had been throwing my food up all day, before going out and celebrating the not-failing-but-not-passing of the dreaded Driving Test.
It all started so well, UDOBF had a packet of cheap sparklers so we played in Our Beloved Friary's beer garden.
I won a game of Pool. (The Sheep joined us, but I wasn't going to let it spoil my fun). I lost 2 other games.
Then BB text, he's apologised for this and I don't think he realised how hurt it made me, thought that I'd take it as a joke. "Fancy a fuck love?"
Obviously I told him where to go.
But then I got thinking, "He thinks I'm shit, just like everyone else does." and I started to get upset.
See for a very long time before I came to uni, I believed this, I was so utterly convinced that I was nothing. Don't suppose the Mothership helped when I've overheard her tell her mates that she would have rather had The Brat than me.
(This is cos of his special needs and all the problems when he was little, I understand now why she said that.)
But it hurt and I never forgot it, I was only 8 or 9 at the time, another time, I tried to explain to her why I was so miserable at school, why the other kids hated me.
I think I was about 16 or 17 at the time and I'll never forget the way she turned to me and told me my life was worthless anyway.
I don't know why she said it or whether I took it the wrong way.
But it just seemed to confirm everything I had ever suspected.
So even though others told me different I believed that I was nothing and had no self-esteem and no self-confidence.
Then LF showed up and I finally began to think, "Well hey, he likes me, he wants to be with me, perhaps I'm not this piece of nothing like I've always thought."
And so I began to come out of myself a little, to assert myself a little.
Which is why MH can't believe that I go round BB's and I know he's using me and I don't care cos I'm using him, and when he's asleep and has his arm around me, or tells me I have great tits/ass/whatever and that I do whatever he wants me to do really well, it makes me feel better and believe that I'm not that worthless.
Anyway, I thought once uni was over I'd never have to go back, except obviously I have to go home now.
And I am so afraid, not only of what I've already said here before several times before.
I am afraid that The Mothership will take away this little, tiny piece of self-esteem that it has taken so long to grow.
So I cried in Our Beloved Friary, and then walked round to BB's and fooled around to cheer myself up a little.
Friday, November 05, 2004
I'm starting to feel destined never to pass my driving test....
Somewhere between here and the test centre I got a slow puncture, so couldnt do the test...
Bugger.
So after a day of throwing up and not being able to eat cos of being so nervous, I didn't have to take the test.
Does this count as my 7th test or do we scratch that one from the record?
Either way, me, CL and UDOBF and possibly Jitsu Freak and TP later are going out to get pissed.
Sadly the lads are all working so can't join us and BB is all preoccupied by his PS2.
Whats the betting that the next time I hear from him will be when he wants something?
Somewhere between here and the test centre I got a slow puncture, so couldnt do the test...
Bugger.
So after a day of throwing up and not being able to eat cos of being so nervous, I didn't have to take the test.
Does this count as my 7th test or do we scratch that one from the record?
Either way, me, CL and UDOBF and possibly Jitsu Freak and TP later are going out to get pissed.
Sadly the lads are all working so can't join us and BB is all preoccupied by his PS2.
Whats the betting that the next time I hear from him will be when he wants something?
Thursday, November 04, 2004
Wheee!
Thanks Billy!
I'm trying to pretend it ain't happening at the mo, was doing a good job too until ITFC wished me good luck leaving uni.
Tempted to ring BB and see if he wants to help distract me tonight.
---
Anyway I've just done my good deed for the day, helped the new Korean girl find out how to get from here to Stansted airport so she can go home for Xmas, She's quite sweet really, really keen to talk, but I'm terrible, I get the giggles at some of the way she mis-pronounces things.
I shouldn't do really, God only knows I had enough practise interpreting The Brat when he was having all the problems with his speech and I know how hard it is to get yourself across.
But I think I helped her ok so she can take that information down to the Coach station and book the right tickets.
---
Its Father's and Sons here tonight, passing all these people in fancy dress.
Basically its a sports society night out.
The Lads teams (rugby, cricket, football etc) are the fathers and the girls teams are the sons and they all dress up in costumes and get adopted by those in the same family.
E.G a Footballer could be a Doctor and adopt a girl's footballer who is a nurse.
I don't think I've explained that very well, but its a hell of a laugh, shame I'm stuck indoors doing the Voles.
(In on Monday - Yippie and ARRGGHH at the same time!)
Thanks Billy!
I'm trying to pretend it ain't happening at the mo, was doing a good job too until ITFC wished me good luck leaving uni.
Tempted to ring BB and see if he wants to help distract me tonight.
---
Anyway I've just done my good deed for the day, helped the new Korean girl find out how to get from here to Stansted airport so she can go home for Xmas, She's quite sweet really, really keen to talk, but I'm terrible, I get the giggles at some of the way she mis-pronounces things.
I shouldn't do really, God only knows I had enough practise interpreting The Brat when he was having all the problems with his speech and I know how hard it is to get yourself across.
But I think I helped her ok so she can take that information down to the Coach station and book the right tickets.
---
Its Father's and Sons here tonight, passing all these people in fancy dress.
Basically its a sports society night out.
The Lads teams (rugby, cricket, football etc) are the fathers and the girls teams are the sons and they all dress up in costumes and get adopted by those in the same family.
E.G a Footballer could be a Doctor and adopt a girl's footballer who is a nurse.
I don't think I've explained that very well, but its a hell of a laugh, shame I'm stuck indoors doing the Voles.
(In on Monday - Yippie and ARRGGHH at the same time!)
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Well some positive news at last.
The growth on the lung has shrunk slightly.
But as always the liver and adrenal gland one have grown.
So its good that the WonderDrug has worked slightly but there is the worry now that as Dad has had the bad reactions that he'll be taken off the drug as they said they would if he had another bad reaction.
So its good and kinda bad news too.
The growth on the lung has shrunk slightly.
But as always the liver and adrenal gland one have grown.
So its good that the WonderDrug has worked slightly but there is the worry now that as Dad has had the bad reactions that he'll be taken off the drug as they said they would if he had another bad reaction.
So its good and kinda bad news too.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Scan Day today.
Tomorrow we find out if the drug has worked or not, if Dad is still losing weight or not.
Even if the drug has worked if Dad has another anaphalatic shock, he comes of the drug anyway, so what do you hope for, seeing as it looks pretty likely that the drug will give him another shock?
Tomorrow we find out if the drug has worked or not, if Dad is still losing weight or not.
Even if the drug has worked if Dad has another anaphalatic shock, he comes of the drug anyway, so what do you hope for, seeing as it looks pretty likely that the drug will give him another shock?
Guess who DIDN'T go round to BB's to watch Dawn of The Dead?
Guess who DIDN'T spend all night at BB's house?
Guess who only came home at 8am, and has a driving lesson at 9:30, and has about 30 minutes sleep?
(Damn I have good willpower!)
Guess who fucked up her Stats and made Jitsu Freak come round and rescue them?
Guess who DIDN'T spend all night at BB's house?
Guess who only came home at 8am, and has a driving lesson at 9:30, and has about 30 minutes sleep?
(Damn I have good willpower!)
Guess who fucked up her Stats and made Jitsu Freak come round and rescue them?
Monday, November 01, 2004
This time next week the I.S will be in, hopefully some how the mystery of just how Rowan can come out the winner after being statted, when pre-stats it was one of the least favourite will be solved....
This Friday I will attempting Driving Test number 7!!!!!!!!!!!!
YYYAARRGGGHHH!!!!!
Bring on the breakdown!
This Friday I will attempting Driving Test number 7!!!!!!!!!!!!
YYYAARRGGGHHH!!!!!
Bring on the breakdown!
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Bastard, wanky, shitty trains.
an hour and three quarters journey took 3.
WTF?
We got diverted somewhere past Kettering and then stopped for twenty minutes outside of Leicester.
The train was going so fast I could have outwalked it!
Still it gave me some time to sort things out with BB.
We both agree we dont want anything serious but I refuse to sleep with anyone I'm not in a serious relationship with so we're kinda at a draw.
Except the damn bastard has made me feel as horny as hell and he knows it, so I think that means the three points go to him.
I think we could get to be very good mates, but whether he'd want that is a different matter, I'd like to be mates, he's funny and a good giggle.
I don't mind a bit of messing about, cos I know its not going to go any further and its only a bit of fun, but I don't want to be thought of as easy so think our -ahem - night time games may have to come to an end.
I'm not sure he wants to be just mates but hey, its his loss and like I say I don't feel bad about going round to his the other night when I was drunk.
---
Its Halloween and I'm deprived of a TV to watch scary movies and no fancy dress halloween party here, like we used to do at our house.
I'm well gutted that I don't even have a scary DVD to watch, I love scary movies at any time of the year but it feels compulsary to watch a scary movie at halloween.
----later edit----
STF being the coolest person ever, text and demanded that I come and help him work his way through the ENTIRE Nightmare on Elm Street collection, sadly I only made it through the first film before needing my sleep
an hour and three quarters journey took 3.
WTF?
We got diverted somewhere past Kettering and then stopped for twenty minutes outside of Leicester.
The train was going so fast I could have outwalked it!
Still it gave me some time to sort things out with BB.
We both agree we dont want anything serious but I refuse to sleep with anyone I'm not in a serious relationship with so we're kinda at a draw.
Except the damn bastard has made me feel as horny as hell and he knows it, so I think that means the three points go to him.
I think we could get to be very good mates, but whether he'd want that is a different matter, I'd like to be mates, he's funny and a good giggle.
I don't mind a bit of messing about, cos I know its not going to go any further and its only a bit of fun, but I don't want to be thought of as easy so think our -ahem - night time games may have to come to an end.
I'm not sure he wants to be just mates but hey, its his loss and like I say I don't feel bad about going round to his the other night when I was drunk.
---
Its Halloween and I'm deprived of a TV to watch scary movies and no fancy dress halloween party here, like we used to do at our house.
I'm well gutted that I don't even have a scary DVD to watch, I love scary movies at any time of the year but it feels compulsary to watch a scary movie at halloween.
----later edit----
STF being the coolest person ever, text and demanded that I come and help him work his way through the ENTIRE Nightmare on Elm Street collection, sadly I only made it through the first film before needing my sleep
Saturday, October 30, 2004
*sigh*
There was a bonus to going home, I should remember that, I came home and found lots of stuff out for Habitat Management, so what if I didn't get any I.S done?
We didn't win today.
I get the feeling that its going to be a long, season.
Was pleased that J.J scored, I remain hopelessly optimistic that he will find his first season form again and Konchesky showed up as a late sub, we'd been wondering where he was earlier in the day.
I quite like Konch, I dunno what Curbs seems to have against him as to why he don't play very often.
I totally missed the own goal as I had turned to hand Granddad the programme, guess that was a bonus too!
Anyway, Jerome Thomas who was one of the few highlights from Wednesday night, also had another good game, I thought and I have to say that I think Luke Young has improved a hell of a lot this season, getting forward and everything.
MH text all excited telling about seeing Mark DeBolla, from when we went to Chesterfield last season and I told him I was stalking him, (Worrying both him and his missus!)
She also noted that Jamal Campbell-Ryce was a "Dirty little basket." as she put it.
---
You may also have noticed that I now have a "contact me" on the side there----->
Originally when I started this blog it was just for me to whinge off privately in, away from prying eyes, then somewhere along the line I decided I wanted to have comments and things, and then to have other people who read this, although I'm sure my readership equals about 3 people and I'm still freakily afraid of someone I know finding out about this.
Anyway, I tried to send JAKARTASS an email so I can claim my prize but if you never receive the email, would it be possible to contact me on that?
---
Off now to watch "Straw dogs" with Dad, possibly taking in a little MOTD so I can laugh at Manure!
There was a bonus to going home, I should remember that, I came home and found lots of stuff out for Habitat Management, so what if I didn't get any I.S done?
We didn't win today.
I get the feeling that its going to be a long, season.
Was pleased that J.J scored, I remain hopelessly optimistic that he will find his first season form again and Konchesky showed up as a late sub, we'd been wondering where he was earlier in the day.
I quite like Konch, I dunno what Curbs seems to have against him as to why he don't play very often.
I totally missed the own goal as I had turned to hand Granddad the programme, guess that was a bonus too!
Anyway, Jerome Thomas who was one of the few highlights from Wednesday night, also had another good game, I thought and I have to say that I think Luke Young has improved a hell of a lot this season, getting forward and everything.
MH text all excited telling about seeing Mark DeBolla, from when we went to Chesterfield last season and I told him I was stalking him, (Worrying both him and his missus!)
She also noted that Jamal Campbell-Ryce was a "Dirty little basket." as she put it.
---
You may also have noticed that I now have a "contact me" on the side there----->
Originally when I started this blog it was just for me to whinge off privately in, away from prying eyes, then somewhere along the line I decided I wanted to have comments and things, and then to have other people who read this, although I'm sure my readership equals about 3 people and I'm still freakily afraid of someone I know finding out about this.
Anyway, I tried to send JAKARTASS an email so I can claim my prize but if you never receive the email, would it be possible to contact me on that?
---
Off now to watch "Straw dogs" with Dad, possibly taking in a little MOTD so I can laugh at Manure!
I've won a prize!
Yippie!
Ok, its winning by default (de-fault, de-fault, the two sweetest words in the English language!) but still mail of any kind is dead exciting, especially mail from Abroad!
Am quite tempted to sell the picture on Ebay and make my fortune but think I'll be too excited by the post to sell any part of it!
Yippie!
Ok, its winning by default (de-fault, de-fault, the two sweetest words in the English language!) but still mail of any kind is dead exciting, especially mail from Abroad!
Am quite tempted to sell the picture on Ebay and make my fortune but think I'll be too excited by the post to sell any part of it!
Friday, October 29, 2004
See that Spotty Parker was in the paper yesterday about gambling?
I guess he needs something to spend his millions on.
Bet he was well impressed about being described as an "England ace!"
---
Biker Boy text last night, the first time I'd heard from him since Sunday night after I'd been telling Jitsu Freak all about my escapades on MSN.
Anyway I text him back last night and then not heard nothing.
So not sure where I stand there, To be fair, I deliberately didn't text him or contact him in any way after Sunday to see what he would do, and as I hadn't heard anything assumed it was like some sort of one night thing.
Have I been fucked over? Was he only texting to find out whether I was free to go round there? Is it wrong that I still don't care either way? Will I get to use my Fuck yourself with a cactus line?
---
I got locked out of my own house today.
I'd gone back down the Heritage centre today, couldn't find any more useful info so came home and M&D had gone to ASDA.
I did have keys, I dunno where my house keys are so had borrowed Dad's.
I couldn't get into the house, couldn't even get into the porch!
I sat on the front wall for 15 minutes before the neighbours came up to rescue me.
It was freezing and I was wondering if they had done the "Change the locks" thing.
I guess he needs something to spend his millions on.
Bet he was well impressed about being described as an "England ace!"
---
Biker Boy text last night, the first time I'd heard from him since Sunday night after I'd been telling Jitsu Freak all about my escapades on MSN.
Anyway I text him back last night and then not heard nothing.
So not sure where I stand there, To be fair, I deliberately didn't text him or contact him in any way after Sunday to see what he would do, and as I hadn't heard anything assumed it was like some sort of one night thing.
Have I been fucked over? Was he only texting to find out whether I was free to go round there? Is it wrong that I still don't care either way? Will I get to use my Fuck yourself with a cactus line?
---
I got locked out of my own house today.
I'd gone back down the Heritage centre today, couldn't find any more useful info so came home and M&D had gone to ASDA.
I did have keys, I dunno where my house keys are so had borrowed Dad's.
I couldn't get into the house, couldn't even get into the porch!
I sat on the front wall for 15 minutes before the neighbours came up to rescue me.
It was freezing and I was wondering if they had done the "Change the locks" thing.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
He didn't say anything.
Nothing that I could see as being taken as offensive or degoratory.
He called them the Pal-arse instead of Pal-is and said it was us against That Lot.
Surely if we're going to sack him, we should also get rid of the guy who put up a little film of us beating them last time we played them?
Anyway, you can read more about it here, (including a match report, I'm far too depressed about the result still to put links up to other match reports and give my version of the game) and here and get his apology here.
I want him back!
Meantime I have plans to cure my general depression by watching my tape of the '98 playoff final and eating Ben and Jerry's - which lets face it is THE king(s) of Ice cream.
---
Isn't it terrible that a football result has managed to bring this result to me? Then again I think a lot of it is everything thats going on as well.
Hopefully once all the I.S is in a huge weight will be off my shoulders.
At the mo I feel like I'm getting bogged down in a never ending mess of Dad being "A walking corpse" as the Brat described him/trying to help E, who is taking a turn for the worse/The fact that I'm taking a backwards step in going home/I'm terrified of losing the tiny bit of self confidence and esteem that I got from being away, and being with Mothership who takes it all away/screwing up this, my most important term/not being able to look after everyone.
It all seems to be going round and round my head at the mo and not getting an escape route.
So yeah, its all a hell of a lot and I dunno why all of a sudden it seems to be leaning heavily on my shoulders, when I can least afford it too.
Nothing that I could see as being taken as offensive or degoratory.
He called them the Pal-arse instead of Pal-is and said it was us against That Lot.
Surely if we're going to sack him, we should also get rid of the guy who put up a little film of us beating them last time we played them?
Anyway, you can read more about it here, (including a match report, I'm far too depressed about the result still to put links up to other match reports and give my version of the game) and here and get his apology here.
I want him back!
Meantime I have plans to cure my general depression by watching my tape of the '98 playoff final and eating Ben and Jerry's - which lets face it is THE king(s) of Ice cream.
---
Isn't it terrible that a football result has managed to bring this result to me? Then again I think a lot of it is everything thats going on as well.
Hopefully once all the I.S is in a huge weight will be off my shoulders.
At the mo I feel like I'm getting bogged down in a never ending mess of Dad being "A walking corpse" as the Brat described him/trying to help E, who is taking a turn for the worse/The fact that I'm taking a backwards step in going home/I'm terrified of losing the tiny bit of self confidence and esteem that I got from being away, and being with Mothership who takes it all away/screwing up this, my most important term/not being able to look after everyone.
It all seems to be going round and round my head at the mo and not getting an escape route.
So yeah, its all a hell of a lot and I dunno why all of a sudden it seems to be leaning heavily on my shoulders, when I can least afford it too.
I could tell of lots of things.
About Brian Cole (Our stadium announcer) being sacked over comments he made last night.
I don't remember hearing anything that bad,
About Granddad's new dog and my "Hilarious" trip to Mycenea house and then down to the Woolwich Arsenal to investigate the heritage centre and do work for Hab Management.
But the thing is I can't be bothered.
The general "Why bother with anything?" Feeling is coming over me and I just feel like being miserable and watching TV, snuggled into my duvet until the heavy feeling in my stomach decides to go away.
About Brian Cole (Our stadium announcer) being sacked over comments he made last night.
I don't remember hearing anything that bad,
About Granddad's new dog and my "Hilarious" trip to Mycenea house and then down to the Woolwich Arsenal to investigate the heritage centre and do work for Hab Management.
But the thing is I can't be bothered.
The general "Why bother with anything?" Feeling is coming over me and I just feel like being miserable and watching TV, snuggled into my duvet until the heavy feeling in my stomach decides to go away.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Todays the day!
Yes! I'm running to catch the 1pm train (plenty of time in case of inevitable delays) so I'm in London by 3pm, home by 4 at the very latest.
E has text me saying that the regulars in her shop are coming in to wish us Luck, TP is sick of me stressing over and over just HOW important this match is.
I am not yet feeling guilty over missing my Thursday Lectures. (This might change if we lose) Hab Management A is in, I'm just packing now and handing the laptop over to TP so she may amuse her self with DVD's over the weekend.
I'm all jittery with nerves.
Will we win? We must Win, We have to Win, I'd rather win tonight than at the Weekend.
Please send all your good luck vibes to a little corner of South East London tonight!
Yes! I'm running to catch the 1pm train (plenty of time in case of inevitable delays) so I'm in London by 3pm, home by 4 at the very latest.
E has text me saying that the regulars in her shop are coming in to wish us Luck, TP is sick of me stressing over and over just HOW important this match is.
I am not yet feeling guilty over missing my Thursday Lectures. (This might change if we lose) Hab Management A is in, I'm just packing now and handing the laptop over to TP so she may amuse her self with DVD's over the weekend.
I'm all jittery with nerves.
Will we win? We must Win, We have to Win, I'd rather win tonight than at the Weekend.
Please send all your good luck vibes to a little corner of South East London tonight!
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Finally finished Habitat Management A.
Its possibly the biggest piece of crap that I've ever written for uni and I've written some stinkers before.
But Considering I had to change my original plan on Monday and have been forced to write this on my own knowledge, two textbooks and Greenwich Councils very, very helpful(!) website and others (Big no-no) I now have two pages on Oxleas Woods, yes that site of dogging (Not putting the link I found on google up, however tempted I might be, I think I might be scared of the people that visit here from there)
Anyway, I've written about Oxleas woods and how its managed and if i struggled to do it with 2 pages God only knows how I'm gonna find 4,000 words.
---
(I realise I'm sorta alienating people who are not "local" now, so feel free to skip the rest of this.)
---
I'm trying to find more out about how they were planning to destroy some of it, way back in 1993, I was still in Primary school then so my memories of it was a little hazy but I remember My Year 6 teacher getting right up there and practically chaining herself to a tree.
Its been pretty interesting really, Did you know that parts of it are over 8,000 years old?
I mean even for a wood thats old, ancient woodlands in general are pretty rare so to have this practically on my doorstep is pretty amazing, and I can't believe I didn't know this.
I still need to find some more, actually a hell of a lot more information.
Not sure exactly where to go to get it though, would it be worth checking out Blackheath and Greenwich libaries, I think Charlton House has information about the local area is it worth looking there?
Who knows, Gonna have to find out when I go back tomorrow.
(Getting excited about the Charlton/Pal-arse match, very, very, very excited)
Its possibly the biggest piece of crap that I've ever written for uni and I've written some stinkers before.
But Considering I had to change my original plan on Monday and have been forced to write this on my own knowledge, two textbooks and Greenwich Councils very, very helpful(!) website and others (Big no-no) I now have two pages on Oxleas Woods, yes that site of dogging (Not putting the link I found on google up, however tempted I might be, I think I might be scared of the people that visit here from there)
Anyway, I've written about Oxleas woods and how its managed and if i struggled to do it with 2 pages God only knows how I'm gonna find 4,000 words.
---
(I realise I'm sorta alienating people who are not "local" now, so feel free to skip the rest of this.)
---
I'm trying to find more out about how they were planning to destroy some of it, way back in 1993, I was still in Primary school then so my memories of it was a little hazy but I remember My Year 6 teacher getting right up there and practically chaining herself to a tree.
Its been pretty interesting really, Did you know that parts of it are over 8,000 years old?
I mean even for a wood thats old, ancient woodlands in general are pretty rare so to have this practically on my doorstep is pretty amazing, and I can't believe I didn't know this.
I still need to find some more, actually a hell of a lot more information.
Not sure exactly where to go to get it though, would it be worth checking out Blackheath and Greenwich libaries, I think Charlton House has information about the local area is it worth looking there?
Who knows, Gonna have to find out when I go back tomorrow.
(Getting excited about the Charlton/Pal-arse match, very, very, very excited)
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