Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Blogging as I need to get my thoughts down and all my friends are too involved for me to open up to them.

The whole J thing had been playing on my mind and I was so looking forward to the theatre that I worried it would be ruined by this whole pre NYE kiss thing, so I invited myself around so we could watch the Charlton/Man U game as I was able to stream the game despite it not being on UK TV. 
(The 3-0 score was NOT deserved at all!)
Anyway, the game was good so we only spoke of football and general chat and it was platonic and fine and I decided that we were both slightly regretting the moment of drunken madness and things were now back to normal and part of me was relieved about that and also, a teeny tiny part that I didn't want to admit to, was disappointed.
Anyway. I rehomed some of the books his ex had left and he insisted on carrying all three of them down to the car for me as you know, I'm a fragile little thing....

At the car he paused and said. "I don't really know how I'm supposed to say goodbye to you now." And I assumed that's cos he normally kisses me on the cheek and hugs me goodbye and he felt it inappropriate now or slightly awkward.
So I said, to do what he felt right and he asked what I meant by that and I realised that perhaps it could be taken another way and got a bit flustered and before I could explain, he's kissing me very thoroughly.

This whole thing is nuts. I feel now that perhaps, he thinks I invited myself around for the wrong reason or that I've led him on. 
Theatre next Monday, so we'll see how shit goes down then.....

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