Sunday, September 30, 2018

Starting to get a bit annoyed with just sitting in the van helping with maintainence. Especially with London traffic making it so I am late home for the dog.

Still I have tomorrow in the office and maybe Tuesday as well although I think I will probably end up on the road again after that for the week. I dont really get how I am supposed to learn how to do the office stuff if I am only there every so often?! I mean I've been at the job 5 weeks now and only spent a total of 3 days so far in there?

Anyway it's fine. Better than being unemployed!

One Night Stand Guy messaged me and we met up with his dog for agility - annoyingly she was better than mine and has already been promoted to another class.

Mine is also running shit and slow again which makes me sad but what can you do? I'm doing my best to work on her fitness but hard when at work all the time!

Went out last night as it would have been L's birthday. Much drinks. Came home at 4.30 and then went up early for dog and horses. Struggled this morning haha!

I dunno. A guy started chatting to me, was a bit too keen, too young, had a kid, I wasn't interested in him. In the club later another guy - one of my good friends J, I guess we are a bit flirty together when drunk, its never been anything though other than playing but last night.... I felt he was trying to move on past that. You know you kinda get that 6th sense that the situation has changed?
Maybe cos he was so drunk and I was the only single female (who was also straight!) there. Not interested in him.
I don't even know what's wrong with me. I can't get with any of my friends as I know them too well, chatting to strangers fills me with alarm as I can't cope with not knowing the situation.
So am I still in love with Welshy? I don't even know. I can go odd days now without thinking about him.
Am I in love with One Night Stand Guy? No. Attracted to him yes, do I want a relationship with him? No. He's in a unique category of being another one of my male friends, but one of the ones I don't mind doing stuff with where as I can't even picture it with any of the others.
I need help lol!!

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