Thursday, December 15, 2011


I had a class today full of boys that love football, their grammar is pretty good but they lack any vocab, they clearly dont care about education at all and happily tell Welshy that they are being forced to repeat years and have been banned from x, y and Z classes.

Anyway we get on Ok-ish with them. For some reason today they all wanted to discuss their muscles and this involved me desperately trying to keep them on track as they wanted to arm wrestle.
Anyone one of them made a pretty unmistakable gesture and the other laughed in that kinda teenage boy way, and said that was why he had arm muscles.
So I whacked in "Wank" into Google translate and asked him if that was the reason.

Apparently he was miming going to the Gym.....

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

So got up early only to find that my early morning class didnt arrive.
I promised my noisy class that they could try peanut butter and marmite sandwiches this week as part of our food topic.
For the next hour, it resulted in kids running down the corridor to spit out their sandwiches into the toilet.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

In our Spanish lesson today, we went and learnt how to play a popular card game with pesatas. Never seen a pesata before FYI.

Basic rules of the game is that you have 4 cards, can swap them once, then have 3 rounds of betting, for high card, low card and pairs. Then you bet on the nearest to 31 and then someone work out who won.
Spanish cards are funny looking. Like tarot cards.
We went out to watch Madrid V Barcelona. The score flattered Madrid.
We stayed out. I got drunk. I fell over in front of some of Welshys students.

This place really needs a decent take away to fulfill my salt craving. We ended up going to the only takeaway in the town where the man serving refused to believe that we were teachers and not working in one of the factories. 

I got a kebab, I asked for it plain, unfortunately plain here seems to mean drowning in salad cream. Gross. I took it home and rinsed every indivdual piece in the water and then felt violently ill for the rest of the night.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

They eat thistles here in Spain. Gross.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Public holiday part two this week.

Welshy has a two hour lesson as one of his students is preparing for the FCE exam in English.

Me? No work. I'm slowly getting hammered on Tinto de verano and listening to Cliff Richard.

Yay.

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Oh god, somehow I've brought tripe sausages....

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Today - Tuesday and Thursday are public holidays here in Spain. No one can tell you what they are though. Saturday was a Saint's day. Today is the Immaculate Conception day? Thursday may be another Saint's day.
Who knows?
Anyway admitting defeat in the attempt to make pupils come on the holidays we just has lessons for the adults today.
Idiot boss arranged for us to meet him at 10.30 for a start at 11am.
10.15, our landlady comes to tell us that the lesson started at 10am.
*sigh*

Anyway it recovered OK and we ended up in one of the local bars ordering food, I tried pincha's which are bar snacks that you pay for unlike the free tapas.

Bad move. One was a battered calamari ring. The other was a battered hard boiled egg. With some kinda mayonnaise in it. The calamari was ok, the egg - revolting!

Monday, December 05, 2011

El Gordo

People here in Spain go crazy for this lottery. It means the Fat. (I think) When I was in Barcelona, people were in huge queues to pay for tickets. Welshy reported that people have admitted to spending thousands on tickets.
Even those who are unemployed.
Will in Barcelona also says that he has seen people paying for their lottery tickets with scrap metal.

So.

how much do you think the grand prize is? Bearing in mind all this mania, that tickets cost about a fiver?

4million.

Yeah. Alright 4 million isn't to be sniffed at, but I believe thats the same amount that you get on a Saturday night lotto jackpot at home?
Carmen is a spoilt brat of about 15/16, She thinks she is a big person in the town as her father owns the car dealership. If she is not happy with something she will phone her Mother to get her to complain.
She took today to mocking my accent, both in Spanish and in English, and said something clearly insulting about me in Spic.

I lost my temper.

"Carmen, you are the rudest, most unintelligent girl I have ever met."
"Que? What is rude?"
Javier looked it up in the dictionary. I thought she was going to faint.
"Miss Karran.... You... You insult me!"
"Yes Carmen, just like you insulted me, just now in Spanish. The way you insult my Spanish. You insult me by mocking my way of talking. You insult me by not doing your work or listening to what you have been told. You insult me by wasting my time."

From the look on her face no one has ever spoken to her in that way and she meekly got on with her work in silence.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Still alive I see?
Here I am to tell you about my trip to Vegas.
My Christ what a tiring place it is. A week, I found far too long. Welshy wanted to return home after 4 days. A friend just kept saying about wanting to go home and do the ironing.
Too many lights. Too much attacking your senses. Too much happening.
I liked the colours and lights. Cant get sick of those. Got attacked by Gamblor when it came to virtual Craps. And I played Roulette - a tenner on black. Didnt come through. Learnt how to play poker and won 80 dollars which pleased me.
I spent the money on cute underwear from Victoria's Secret. I like how they think I'm a D cup there.
We hired a muscle car, a chevy comarao and drove to the Hoover dam, We took a plane ride to the Grand Canyon. (how is it that all I can use to describe it sounds cliched? Its amazing. Awe-inspiring. etc.)
I rode a mustang western style-y along and saw a coyote.
We ate buffets at the Bellagio and Monte Carlo and ate sea food at Hurrah's. I challenged a friend and won a mechanical bull ride.
Me and Welshy fell out.
I got drunk and accosted a US Marine who looked far too young to be wearing the medals that he was "Did you get that one for colouring in? And knowing your 2x table?"
"No M'am. I got those for service in Iraq and Afghanistan."
My bad.
I brought amazing socks and lost all track of time and place in The Venetian and Caesar's place. 
I ate carrotcake cheesecake.
Me and Welshy dodged a bullet and didn't get married.
A strange Mexican stole my friends coat and then got drunk and passed out, the security at Monte Carlo put him to sleep in my friends bed. My friend and said Security guard beat the Mexican up when the mistake was realised.
I ate shitloads of macdonalds and discovered Denny's and decided I hate the way you have to add the tax on separately. I dont know how much tax is and if it changes for whatever you buy.
I hated tipping everyone. You've not provided me with superb service, why should I give you extra?
I watched the New England Patriots in Hooters (Big let down FYI)
I still think American Football is a stupid sport.

I did not sleep at all on the plane home convinced that if I did it would fall out of the sky.

Now I am back in sleepy Spanish Bumpkinville and its only 3 weeks till Xmas.
Hello all.
Still alive I see?
Here I am to tell you about my trip to Vegas.
My Christ what a tiring place it is. A week, I found far too long. Welshy wanted to return home after 4 days. A friend just kept saying about wanting to go home and do the ironing.
Too many lights. Too much attacking your senses. Too much happening.
I liked the colours and lights. Cant get sick of those. Got attacked by Gamblor when it came to virtual Craps. And I played Roulette - a tenner on black. Didnt come through. Learnt how to play poker and won 80 dollars which pleased me.
I spent the money on cute underwear from Victoria's Secret. I like how they think I'm a D cup there.
We hired a muscle car, a chevy comarao and drove to the Hoover dam, We took a plane ride to the Grand Canyon. (how is it that all I can use to describe it sounds cliched? Its amazing. Awe-inspiring. etc.)
I rode a mustang western style-y along and saw a coyote.
We ate buffets at the Bellagio and Monte Carlo and ate sea food at Hurrah's. I challenged a friend and won a mechanical bull ride.
Me and Welshy fell out twice.
I got drunk and accosted a US Marine who looked far too young to be wearing the medals that he was "Did you get that one for colouring in? And knowing your 2x table?"
"No M'am. I got those for service in Iraq and Afghanistan."
My bad.
I brought amazing socks and lost all track of time and place in The Venetian and Caesar's place. Me and Welshy dodged a bullet and didn't get married.
A strange Mexican stole my friends coat and then got drunk and passed out, the security at Monte Carlo put him to sleep in my friends bed. My friend and said Security guard beat the Mexican up when the mistake was realised.
I ate shitloads of macdonalds and discovered Denny's and decided I hate the way you have to add the tax on separately. I dont know how much tax is and if it changes for whatever you buy.
I hated tipping everyone. You've not provided me with superb service, why should I give you extra?
I watched the New England Patriots in Hooters (Big let down FYI)
I still think American Football is a stupid sport.

I did not sleep at all on the plane home convinced that if I did it would fall out of the sky.

Now I am back in sleepy Spanish Bumpkinville and its only 3 weeks till Xmas.